Saturday, 28 February 2015

Once Upon A Time Sneak Peek Winter Premiere

Whoo-hoo!

Once Upon A Time is back, my friends with a whole new cast of fairy tale villains. The winter premiere (ominously enough, episode 13) is set to air tomorrow night on ABC. The show has been on hiatus since mid-December.

Let's do a quick recap!

ibtimes.com


Last time we saw Mr. Gold he'd been kicked out of Storybrooke by Belle when she realized he'd never stop being the awesome evil person that he is. He of course, takes this in stride and finds Ursula working in a New York City aquarium. He manages to convince her to join him in his latest diabolical quest (break back into Storybrooke), but they need two more people.

Enter Cruella de Vil

ibtimes.com

Now that Hook is no longer under Mr. Gold's power he can freely date and kiss Emma like the charming pirate he is. I"m guessing they're at the only place in town, Granny's pub/diner/Laundromat...

ibtimes.com


After taking the high road by saving Marian and therefore losing Robin Hood forever, Regina thinks happy endings are stupid pants, but Henry is convinced he can find the author of the story book and have him rewrite a happy ending for his mom.

I wonder if Henry's voice has changed yet?

ibtimes.com

ibtimes.com

And poor Belle drowns her sorrows in fruit kabobs...

 

While Regina plays third wheel.




Will you be watching tomorrow night?

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 9 "Bali, Bawling and Bikinis"

Chris takes the three final contestants to Bali, which is Mandarin for 'opposite of Arlington'

Date #1 is with Kaitlyn and some monkeys.

Kaitlyn arrives in her pink cut off shorts.

She tells the camera, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about Chris these last few days."

As opposed to what else?

Chris takes her around the local eateries introducing Kaitlyn as his girl friend.

Yup. One of three.

Then they find monkeys. Chris giggles his girly laugh. Kaitlyn snorts.

abc.com

I hit fast forward.

During the evening candle light dinner...

Kaitlyn says to Chris, "I has this guard, but I don't want it to be there. I want it to come down. It's exciting but terrifying at the same time."

Chris: "I get it."

"I'm at my best when I'm at my most vulnerable."

Chris: "You have to put yourself out there."

Then they make-out.

*cue soft guitar music*

He presents her with a key to the fantasy suite.

She says yes and he says, "I think we deserve this."

Then Kaitlyn finally tells Chris she's falling in love with him.

Chris, "Me too."

Gag.

Up next...contestant #2, Whitney.

They picnic on a boat and go for a cruise.

Whitney tells us, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

But before things get serious, Whitney wants to discuss her sister's reluctance to give her blessing if Chris proposes. "She's my protector. I'm worried that's a factor in how you feel about me."

He reassures her, then they go swimming. She tells him, "I can't imagine a better day and I am head over heels in love with you."

Chris moves in for a kiss.

During dinner he asks if Whitney really thinks she can give up her profession in Chicago and move to Arlington.

He says, "There's nothing to do in Arlington. I hang out at home by myself...a lot."

"I have this career, but I'm not fully happy. I want to be a wife and a mom. That will be my career and that's what I'm ready for."

abc.com

Chris grins and they make-out.

He hands her the fantasy suite card.

She's game. He's says, "I'm ready to take this to the next level."

Date #3, enter Becca!

This date will all be about Becca working up the courage to tell Chris she's a virgin.

They walk through a village and Chris is excited to check out the farms.

They visit the local shaman who tells your future. He says they make a good couple and will be good parents. He gives them the advice and states, 'making the love.'

abc.com

Chris gives the dude thumbs up, and laughs his girly laugh.

During dinner they talk about marriage.

Which is wise since...you know.

Chris is excited to learn Becca is falling in love with him. He pulls out the fantasy suite card.

*drum roll*

She accepts.

Once comfy in the private suite, she FINALLY spills the beans. Chris readies himself for another 'I posed for Playboy' revelation.

"I'm a virgin."

Chris: *Deep sigh* "I'm glad you...um. I respect that, in a lot of ways. It surprises me."

And then they make-out.

Becca leaves us with these words, "I'm 100% in. I'm excited to see what happens."

The Next Morning

Chris has a bit of an on camera mental break down. "I'm terrified about making a mistake."

Dude, don't you watch the show? No one stays together.

This continues another ten minutes. The host shows up and they talk while guitar and piano play intermittently in the background ...*yawn*

The Rose Ceremony!!!

abc.com

But before Chris can give out the flowers, he takes Becca aside to talk about their future.

Um...wouldn't you have talked about this on your date?

"I'm falling in love with you."

"And I'm falling in love with you."

Blah, blah, blah...

Chris brings Becca back to the group. Whitney gets the first rose. He next calls out...and oh my God there is like five minutes of violin music. Becca gets the last rose.

Kaitlyn asks him what happened.

"I don't even understand right now," he says. "I had no idea it would be this hard."

Kaitlyn gets in the car, does up her seatbelt and tells the camera, "That was the most humiliating moment of my life."

Dear Kaitlyn,

No worries, darling. Welcome back to the real world. You'll triumph in the end.










Saturday, 21 February 2015

I Vlogged...and I Liked It!

Through modern technology of the interweb thingy you can watch me read an excerpt from my book, Butterflies Don't Lie.

This was my first attempt at vlogging. This isn't the best I could have done, but heck, I'm a lazy gal with low standards so it's good enough for me. I especially like the big flub-up at the end.

Enjoy!


Tuesday, 17 February 2015

The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 9 "Secrets, Lies and Video Tapes"

people.com


Chris and Becca have a low key date. They hang out in his loft and chat it up. She tells Chris she's never been in love.

We also know she's never had naked hugs with anyone.

But she also tells Chris she feels comfortable with him and thinks he's super terrific. They look at the sunset and the clouds form hearts in the sky.

abc.com

Britt gets teary eyed in the hotel and tells the girls. "I'm packed. I told him I envisioned being his wife and having in a family with him in Iowa and he gave the rose to someone else."

Carly tells the other girls, "If she wants out, I'll take her rose right now."

Before the cocktail party Britt and Jade have agendas to get Chris alone. Britt wanted to say good-bye (break up with him before he broke up with her) and Jade needs to share that nude modeling thing.

BUT!!!! The host shows up and announces there will be no cocktail party. So it's off to the rose ceremony speedy quick.

The girls line up in their mini dresses and stilettos while Chris does his pre-amble. Britt interrupts and takes him to the next room. Once they're alone, she apologizes for what she said the other night.

I thought she was going to break up with him. 

Then she asks if he wants to ask her anything.

"Er...um. Some girls have told me that you lied about Arlington."

"Was it Carly?"

"Well, um...it doesn't matter."

Things get worse from there and Chris walks her to the door. She breaks down on the front lawn of the mansion. The other girls can hear her crying.

abc.com

Dear Britt, stick with your instincts. Should have gone with original plan.

How does Carly feels about this?


Whitney gets the first rose, then Becca, then Jade.

Carly is going home.

Karma strikes again!

Crying in the limo she tells us, "I think I deserve someone who loves me. Why doesn't anyone want me?"

Dear Carly, There's nothing wrong with you. Take this sorrow and turn it into a hit country song.

Off to Shreveport Louisianna, Becca's hometown!

This is the VERY first time Becca has brought a guy home to meet her family.

Becca has a big family. There's a lot of big hair. Becca's older sister takes Chris aside and says it's weird to see Becca holding hands with a guy (especially a guy who is kissing and holding hands with other girls...at the same time)

Chris tells the camera, "I'd love to be the guy Becca has been waiting for." Then he whisks her away to the state fair where they ride the Ferris Wheel...after hours.

Becca said, "It was like a movie scene."

Psst, Becca...that's the camera being pointed at you. It won't always be there.

Up next, Chicago and Whitney's family.

Whitney tells us, "I have no doubts."

She takes him to her workplace. "I'm passionate about my profession."

How many fertility clinics are there in Arlington?

abc.com

She tells Chris about the whole process while the technician fertilizes an egg. He says. "I make corn."

Then she gives him a specimen jar and shows him the man's room.

Psst...it's full of Playboys. *cough* Jade *cough*

However, she was just joking. Since Whitney was raised by a single mother who recently died, her family dynamics are different than Becca's. Chris will have to impress Whitney's older sister and her uncle.

Kimberly, her older sister, has a list of questions. She tells Chris that she will only give her blessing to Chris' proposal if he can tell her Kimberly is the only one, you know, not while he's considering four other girls.

Way to go, Kimberly!

Chris goes international and visits Kaitlyn in Vancouver, BC!

Actually, her family came to the States instead. Does Chris not have a passport? She takes him to a recording studio and makes him write a rap song.

*hits fast forward*

He finally meets Kaitlyn's family. There's lots of giggling and wine consumption.

Kaitlyn's mom takes her aside. "Are you sure? Are you really in love?"

"Urgh. Yup. I heart him."

After supper Kaitlyn and Chris go for a drive. She shows him a special bill board.

abc.com

Wow, she really does heart him. I hope it lasts until recess.

He says, "Things are moving forward."

Chris visits Jade in Nebraska!

Her family home is small and Jade's Dad wastes no time taking Chris aside. He gives his blessing but only if Chris is 100% sure.

Jade's brother mentions she likes living in Los Angeles and might not want to be in Arlington. "She's a wild mustang. When the time is right she'll be ready to settle down."

Chris' eyebrows come together a lot during this visit.

Jade needs to tell Chris about her modeling. They go back to Chris' hotel room. Finally, after a million blinks and 'um...ers...' she says, "There was a time in my life when I first moved to LA that I did a lot of liberating things that I would normally say no to."

Chris rubs his chin.

"I was approached to pose for Playboy...and I did."

Chris is speechless.

"I could show you the pictures...like if you wanted."

"Well, if you want...I guess."

Then she pulls out her laptop. And all of a sudden, they're looking at nude pictures of Jade. Oh, and there's a video too!
abc.com

Chris takes a drink. "I won't judge you on things you did in the past. They way I feel about you is because of the time we've spent together."

Rose Ceremony!

Who will be the three remaining contestants?

Whitney gets the first rose. Kaitlyn gets the second. And the last and third rose goes to ... Becca.

Jade is going home.

He tells her, "This has nothing to do with what you told me, things are just moving faster with the other girls."

This bothers me. She shouldn't be ashamed. Chris been making out with everyone the whole time and she's the one apologizing.

abc.com


Chris leaves us with this, "I could be making the biggest mistake of my life."

Dear Chris, I think Jade was the girl you really were in love with. No worries, three months from now you can invite her back to the ranch again after you break up with whomever you propose to.

Catch up on all of my recaps!

Episode 2 "Multiple Flings, Seeing Things, and Belly Rings"
Episode 3 "Kissing, Crying, and Costco"
Episode 4 "Princesses, Bimbos, and Psychos"
Episode 5 "Meditation, Manipulation, and Medication"
Episode 6 "Crying, Cat Fights, and Cray-Cray"
Epsiode 7&8 "Ghost Towns, Big Frowns and lots of Cows"





Monday, 16 February 2015

The Bachelor Season 19, "Chris Tells All" plus Episode 8 "Ghost Towns, Big Frowns, and lots of Cows"

Or how to waste two hours of your life by watching one hour and forty-five minutes of previously viewed footage.


Let me spare you the pain.

Here are the gems from the Chris Tells All segment.

When the host interviews Kelsey about her panic attack.

"I've never had one, but as a mental health professional I know what a panic attack is."

Um, I thought she was a guidance councillor.

abc.com

When the host questions Chris about Ashley's departure from the Bad Lands date.

He laughed, "Clearly, I know less about woman than I think I do."

I'll admit, I fast forwarded through the rest of this. It ended with Andy, from The Bachelorette, is making a tearful appearance about how her relationship has ended with Josh.

Sorry, what? Who cares?

Anyway, let's get on with the stupid good times.

Episode 8 "Ghost Towns, Big Frowns, and lots of Cows"

Chris meets the remaining seven girls for the rose ceremony.

Megan uses her alone time with Chris to mention that she really isn't feeling a huge romantic connection with him. How does he feel?

"Ditto."

The trophy for 'girl with the biggest balls' goes to Megan.  

She doesn't wait for the rose ceremony to leave. In the back of the limo she cries a little and says, "Maybe if we had a little more time and circumstances were different we could have fallen in love."

abc.com


You mean like how Andy fell in love with her guy? Oh, sorry. Never mind.

Chris announces to the remaining girls that he will not have a rose ceremony because he can't say good-bye to any of them. Then he announces he taking them all to his home state .... Iowa.

Iowa.

First solo date!

Jade gets chosen to go to Chris' hometown of Arlington.

Fun fact. Arlington's population is 416.

As Chris shows Jade around his ranch style home overlooking his farm her smile slowly drops. "Land is my passion," he tells her.

"Cool," she says.

After he shows her the cattle, he gives her a tour of main street where he points to boarded up buildings saying, "That's where the such-and-such used to be..."

"Where are the people?" she asks the camera. "There's no one around."

Apparently they're all at the high school, cheering on the football team. There, Jade gets to meet Chris' parents. Something she realizes she can rub in the other girls' faces when she gets back to civilization.
abc.com

Jade tells him she was a bit of a rebel when she was in high school, but Jade has a secret that she's not quite ready to share with him yet.

Shh...

Britt is having difficulty not being the number one girl this episode.

abc.com

Whitney gets the second solo date!

They go to Des Moines and visit an art museum. There is a showcase of photographs about love and Chris thinks it would be a great idea for them to make some of their own photographs...you know kissing and stuff. Whitney squeals with delight. For dinner they go to a pub and Whitney is 'interviewed' by three of Chris' best friends.

Meanwhile, Ashely tells the girls about how small Arlington is. The girls want to see it for themselves.

Whoo-hoo! Road trip!

abc.com

When the girls arrive, they try every door on every business and even the church, but everything is closed. Britt admits she can't vision herself living there.

Jade confides her super big secret to Carly and tells her she did some nude modeling for Playboy.

This would be a shock if ABC hadn't been showing us this footage for about two weeks.

Carly mentions she should probably tell Chris before his mom Googles her name.

Britt, Carly, and Kaitlyn are chosen for the group date.
 
This is an important date because whoever gets the rose is guaranteed a hometown date next week.

Chris takes the girls skating. He falls all over the place. They play hockey.

Britt gets some alone time and tells Chris that she and the other girls drove to Arlington. Instead of the dead downtown core, she tells him she fell in love with the sunset.

Carly is so convinced Chris is going to get bamboozled by Britt's lying she has to warn Chris what Britt really said about Arlington.

abc.com

Uh-oh. Carly just made the huge mistake of using her alone time to dump on another contestant.

Britt tells Chris her hometown date would consist of her family mainly eating in the living room eating off paper plates.

Okay.

Then Chris asks her again about Arlington. She replies with, "No matter where I live, I want to be a mom."

Barf.

Kaitlyn confesses she's a little nervous about Chris meeting her family, but she has a definite connection with him. She gets the date rose.

abc.com

Britt is devastated her lying didn't work.

She confronts Chris and it ends awkwardly. Carly was pretty pleased with how things fell apart.






Still need more Bachelor? Check out my other recaps.

Episode 2 "Multiple Flings, Seeing Things, and Belly Rings"
Episode 3 "Kissing, Crying, and Costco"
Episode 4 "Princesses, Bimbos, and Psychos"
Episode 5 "Meditation, Manipulation, and Medication"
Episode 6 "Crying, Cat Fights, and Cray-Cray"


Wednesday, 11 February 2015

My Countdown List for Valentine's Day


#1. Eat a whole wheel of brie.

#2. Make book fort and stock with wine and double stuffed OREOS.

#3. Mail last year's Christmas cards.

#4. Adopt a baby penguin.

pinterest.com

#5. Open an orphanage for abandoned adverbs.

#6. Find out where Fifty Shades of Grey is showing and stay the eff away from those theatres.

#7. Order pizza and insist Dominos cut the pepperoni into heart shapes.

#8. Find Waldo.

#9. Watch the entire Dynasty series from start to finish.

Wikipedia.org


What are your plans for Valentine's Day?



Tuesday, 10 February 2015

The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 6 "Crying, Cat Fights, and Cray-Cray"

Let's do this!

Kelsey survives her panic attack to the disappointment of the other girls. After the rose ceremony, Mackenzie, the dental assistant, and some other chick I don't think I've ever seen before go home.

Chris and the girls go to Deadwood South Dakota!

Kelsey is feeling the pressure of not being liked by the other girls, but she chalks that up to their insecurity surrounding her use of big words around them. "I'm blessed with eloquence."

abc.com
 

Chris and Becca go on the only solo date this episode. They horseback ride, shoot cans in the woods and roast kabobs on a fire. It's awesome good fun. She gets the rose!


abc.com

For the group date, Chris has the girls write a love song for him to perform in front of an audience. Carly has this nailed since she's a professional singer.


abc.com
Britt wins the contest and gets the rose. The other girls cry in the bathroom.


abc.com

Ashley and Kelsey get picked to go on the two on one date with Chris for a picnic in the Bad Lands.

"I can't wait to kick some Kelsey butt," Ashley laughs at the camera.

What does Kelsey think?

abc.com


After a helicopter ride to the Bad Lands. Awkward silence and drinking ensues. Kelsey says, "The Bachelor is about putting logic and love together."

Um...no.

After Ashley tells Chris that the house believes that Kelsey is a total faker he brings it up to Kelsey. She's quite calm until she confronts Ashley with her dagger eyeball stare.

abc.com

She tells the camera, "The difference between me and Ashely is that we're not the same."

Well, yeah, that's what being different means.

Ashely can't handle the pressure, she runs away and cries to Chris. Then she runs away from him, then she runs back. He tells her he can't give her the lifestyle she wants. Then she runs away and has a nervous breakdown in the Bad Lands.

Kelsey smiles in the distance. But then Chris arrives at their picnic tent and dumps her off the show as well.

BAM!! No rose for anyone!

When the remaining girls at the hotel find out, they celebrate with champagne.

Since the math works out, there is no rose ceremony, but ABC is promising much more crying the next episode.

Still need more Bachelor?

Episode 2 "Multiple Flings, Seeing Things, and Belly Rings"
Episode 3 "Kissing, Crying, and Costco"
Episode 4 "Princesses, Bimbos, and Psychos"
Episode 5 "Meditation, Manipulation, and Medication"


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