Thursday, 29 November 2012

The Next Big Thing...

I got tagged by Jane LeBak, agent sibling and published author, most recently THE WRONG ENEMY.

The object of this particular tag is to pretend I am the next big thing….and that I’m being interviewed by Rosemary DiBattista.

Here it goes...

What is your working title of your book? 

JUST JESSE. And by the way, Rosemary, I love the scarf you're wearing in your profile picture.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

The place all stories are born, Rosemary, the Island of Misfit Toys, of course.

What genre does your book fall under?

Oprah's Picks. And it you don't find it there, check out the YA contemporary coming of age section.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I like the readers to have their own mental image of the characters. However, let my say that Jesse is the kind of girl you want to see win in the end, and her love interest will make you swoon. There, knock yourself out.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Haunted by her father's death, seventeen-year-old, track and field star, Jesse Collins turns her back on an athletic scholarship and small town whispers to spend the summer as a camp counselor—only she didn't plan on a cabin full of delinquents, or an unlikely source to inspire her to run again.
Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

It's presently on submission with big starry eyes looking for a publishing house to fall head over heels in love. If that isn't in the cards, I would be more than happy to post it on wattpad. And let's not forget the red yarn tied through the hole punch approach.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

This baby came out fast. I wrote JUST JESSE in five weeks—hold the applause and/or rotten tomatoes. That was over two years ago. JUST JESSE has gone through two agents and sixteen far. I'm lousy at math, but I think it's far to say this is the opposite of an overnight success.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

It combines the emotional depth of Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever, with the commercial appeal of Ann Brashares's The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. Doesn't that sound all proper and professional? It should, my agent wrote it.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

My sister. She's a big time runner and the reason I started writing. She's one of the first people to read JUST JESSE. Also, as nurses, we like to come up with ways to make money other than nursing. And it's common knowledge that writers are all stinkin' rich.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Jesse is dealing with a secret guilt about how her father died, which is revealed near the end when a traumatic event brings her greatest fears to light. That, plus some pretty awesome smoochy scenes.

Include the link of who tagged you and this explanation for the people you have tagged.

Jane LeBak tagged me. You can find her blog here.

I’m tagging Arianna, the Texas Trekkie, because she’s one of my best cheerleaders. She’s busy working on her own epic YA fantasy series, going to college, and working. The girl never stops.

Also tagging Kathryn Rose. She recently signed with an awesome agent for her "Camelot meets steampunk" book. She's great to follow on twitter, too.

Also tagging Lisa Ann O'Kane, YA writer and former zoo keeper. Check out her blog for all things writerly and wild!

Happy blog hopping!

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 8 “Into The Deep”

Or better title, "Sleepy Heads"

Not exactly the gang from Sex In The City.

Cora greets Captain Sexy Eyes at the base of the beanstalk, furious he doesn't have the compass. He says he has a plan, and that their revenge themed trip to Storybrooke is still set. But Cora isn't charmed by his steely gaze, (or hook) and she leaves in a purple cloud of smoke.

She reappears at the safe camp, and makes an army of zombies with her enchanted hearts.

*Cue the music to Thriller*

Aurora confirms that the boy in her dream is Henry. Mary Margaret recognizes the fiery room from when she bit the cursed apple and fell into a deep sleep. The girls come up with a plan to communicate to Henry that Cora is back in power.

Henry wakes with a start and tells David and the Mayor the good news that Emma and Mary Margaret are all right.


Then he follows with the bad news about Cora.

Boo! money is on Cora and her tribe of zombies.

At Granny's pub/diner/laudromat, Belle and Mr. Gold are enjoying the hamburger platter special. The date is broken up when the Mayor walks in with news that Cora is on her way to Storybrooke. Mr. Gold isn't concerned since he taught her all she knows, and he easily defeated her the last time. The Mayor leans in closer and motions to Belle. She tells him things are different this time because he has someone to lose.

Emma, Mary Margaret, Aurora, and Mulan trek through the forest and come up with a plan.

This is the super sophisticated plan—they set up another camp again! and prepare to let Aurora sleep... again!

Why did they leave the last camp?

When Mulan discovers Aurora is burned, she tries to convince her to stop. Aurora pulls away, adamant that this is her time to help the others—plus she likes all the lines and close ups she's been getting.

"We could run faster if you didn't have all this fabric!"
Henry prepares to fall asleep under the watchful gaze of David and the Mayor. Mr. Gold tells Henry a bedtime story full of special clues.

"Prince Charming and Snow White defeated Rumpelstiltskin by tricking him into using a quill full of magical ink from a octopus deep in the water, which was retrieved with the help of a mermaid."

*Takes deep breath*

Did you get all that?

I'm guessing it was cheaper for Mr. Gold to just say it instead of ABC hiring more actors and building an elaborate underwater set.

Emma paces worriedly as Aurora sleeps at the latest camp site.

These girls have set more fires than the dudes from Fahrenheit 451.

Among the roaring flames, Henry tries to yell the instructions about the ink, but the fire is so loud Aurora can't get the whole message. Aurora wakes up and finds herself in the middle of a zombie attack.

District 12 rules!!
Mary Margaret does her best Katniss impersonation to fight Cora's undead henchmen. Mulan has another plan and takes Aurora away speedy quick. But the zombies easily catch up, and kidnap Aurora.

For zombies, they move pretty fast.

Henry wakes up with a burn on his arm. David and the Mayor exchange a look that can only mean one thing—it's too dangerous for Henry to return, that or they're accusing the other of silent farting.

Aurora is kept prisoner in the pit. Cora brings in a meal and promises that she can bring Phillip's soul back. But Aurora is plucky with a capital 'P'. She refuses Cora's offer...and her plate of linguine with clam sauce.

A crow lands on Mary Margaret's shoulder with a message from Cora. Through the magic of inter-species dialect, Mary Margaret tells Emma and Mulan that Cora will kill Aurora if they don't bring the compass by nightfall. Mulan is indebted to Prince Philip, and has sworn to protect Aurora. But Emma isn't budging. Mary Margaret comes up with another plan—if she falls into a deep enough sleep, she can access the room.

Mr. Gold cures Henry's arm. David refuses to let Henry return to the room, and offers to go in his place.

Hook 'em, Danno!
Captain Sexy Eyes wakes up Aurora and helps her escape the pit. She's suspicious, but he tells her that she must find Emma, and once he steals the magic fairy dust from Cora, he will help them get back to Storybrooke on his ship.

The Mayor makes the sleeping potion for David. Henry enters while she's mixing and boiling, and they talk about how she hasn't been using magic...well, except for that time when she killed her dead lover. She promises Henry to never, ever, ever use magic again...well, right after this potion is done.

Mulan finds a poppy to crush into a sleeping potion for Mary Margaret.

The Mayor puts a drop of her potion on a spinning needle for David—I guess fairy tale characters like to do things the old fashioned way.

Mary Margaret takes the poppy concoction, expecting to meet Henry in the burning room.

Mr. Gold tells David that since this is his first time going under the sleeping curse, he won't wake up in the room, but will need to find it on his own. David wakes in a dark room lined with mirrors

Oh! He's in the Hall of Mystery in the basement of the Ministry of Magic. Ten points for Gryffindor!

Mary Margaret stands in the middle of the 'disco inferno' calling out Henry's name.

Bombs away!
David takes his sweet slow time staring at all the mirrors. Finally, like three years later, he realizes the floor is hot to the touch. He breaks through the tile and falls down through the ceiling of the burning room.

Suddenly...all at once...without if by magic, he and Mary Margaret see each other at the very same time. But the flames won't let the tragic lovers touch.
“You found me!”

“I will always find you!”

Blah, blah, blah...give the message already, freaks.

David tells Mary Margaret the jar of ink in Rumpelstiltskin's cell is powerful enough to defeat Cora. Mary Margaret realizes with horror that David has put himself into a coma on purpose. The only way to save him is with—say it with me—true love's kiss.

Hold on, wasn't he asleep for twenty eight years because of the curse? Whatever.

Mary Margaret wakes up and goes all blubbery as she tells Emma she has to get back to Storybrooke speedy quick to kiss David.

Um...that's the plan anyway, right?

Emma calms her down and reiterates the above logic, but uh-oh...where's Mulan?

Running through the forest to trade the compass for Aurora, that's where!

Is that a heart in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Cora enters the pit and sees Captain Sexy Eyes. She prepares to pierce his heart with with his own hook, but he tells her there is a special gift for her inside his leathery man pouch.


Cora puts her hand inside his pouch and looks impressed. He's smug and tells her she can get everything she wants.

Gracious! This just turned PG-17. Damn that lucky, Barbara Hershey.

Mary Margaret finds Mulan and tackles her, but Aurora shows up before any hair pulling can begin. She tells them Captain Sexy Eyes let her go and can be trusted...

Cora holds an enchanted heart and mouths the words that Aurora speaks.


Hook, that sexy fella, got her literally. And now Cora controls Aurora.

Predictions for the next episode

  1. David makes less stupid mistakes while he's in his coma
  2. Belle enjoys her hamburger and decides to get a tattoo
  3. Cinderella and her Prince have worked enough back shifts at the cannery to put a down payment on an RV and they go camping at Storybrooke beach where the new lifeguard keeps running back into the water, insisting she's a mermaid
If you liked this, click on the Google +1 Button below.

    Thursday, 22 November 2012

    Busgirl Blues

    Hey folks,

    BUSGIRL BLUES is my YA contemporary romance novella that will be featured on wattpad in the new year.

    Sixteen year old, magazine quiz junkie, Kelsey Sinclair wants to make this summer unforgettable by (hopefully) seducing her secret crush, Blaine Mulder. Armed with romance advice articles, Kelsey tackles true love with scientific precision, including getting a job at the seaside restaurant that overlooks the yacht club where Blaine teaches sailing.

    However, visions of rendezvous on the beach are clouded when the new kitchen guy's laid back attitude and smouldering stare quickly get under her skin. With his renegade demeanour and unpredictable stunts, Luke is the opposite to Blaine's golden boy reputation.

    Determined to follow through with her original goal, Kelsey ignores her growing attraction to Luke, certain he's not the guy for her. But when she finally manages to get Blaine's attention, Kelsey worries the magazines are all wrong, and that sometimes the best matches are the ones you least expect.

    Monday, 19 November 2012

    Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Fanfiction episode "Splitting Heirs"

    Since there was no episode for November 19th, I wrote my own. Enjoy!
    Ruby takes on her wolf form and runs through the darkened woods of Storybrooke, relishing the feeling of the wind through her fur and the moss under her paws.

    She stops, tilts back her massive head, and fills her animal lungs, but before she can yelp out her own orchestra of yowls into the night air, a howl breaks the silence. Ruby whips her head around—she's not the only wolf in the forest tonight.

    Her nose picks up an unfamiliar scent, this is someone or something she's never met in Storybrooke. She begins to track down the mysterious beast. The camera focuses on her wolf eye.

    The camera pans back and we see Red snarling at Snow White and Granny. They quickly put the magical cloak over Red, bringing her back to her fully clothed human form. Snow White leads her away from the tree where Peter was chained just moments ago.

    Devastated, Granny explains Red's true identity. As the mob of villagers grows closer, Snow White takes Red and they disappear into the thick darkness. Granny faces the men and tells them the beast escaped. She points to the tree where Peter's ripped clothes lay strewn about.

    “See?” she says. “It was Peter all along. I had him trapped, but he turned under the full moon and fled. You'll never catch him now, he's probably half way across the valley.”

    The group scratches their heads, upset the hunt ended in such an unspectacular fashion. Granny urges everyone to the pub, promising that drinks are on her.

    God love that Granny, she knows how to work a crowd.

    Once the mob and their flickering torches disappear into the trees, Granny searches the ground around Peter's belongings. Her fingers curl around something cold. She picks up a slim silver whistle and tucks it into her fist.

    A woman enters Mr. Gold's shop. A crooked smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Well, this is a pleasure,” he says. “It's been a long time, Val. How's the salon doing these days?”

    She ignores his question and turns her head to the side scanning the rest of the shop, making sure they're alone. Her long blond braid snakes over her shoulder reaching the crook of her elbow. “I've been checking the lists of missing persons,” she says, her voice shaking. “But he's not there.” She tucks in her chin and demurely scans the glass counter, but her desperate eyes search in vain.

    “What you're looking for is not for sale,” Mr. Gold says. “But I might be willing to trade.”

    Her gaze snaps up. “Anything,” she offers.

    Mr. Gold leans in close, “I want the most powerful thing you possess.”

    A little girl sits in an elegant castle room as her mother stands behind, combing her hair. “Now, Valerie Ann Ella,” her mother begins. “You are a princess and must act accordingly.”

    Valerie makes a face and squirms on the velvet cushion. “It's not fair,” she pouts. “Fridolf gets to run and play outdoors while I'm stuck inside having my stupid hair pulled.”

    “It will not do you any good to compare yourself to your twin brother,” she orders, pinning an elaborate braid in place. “Besides, you should be grateful for the beautiful golden comb your father gave you.”

    “Fridolf got the better gift,” she rebuts. “Father said it can tame any beast and summon help no matter where you are.” She crosses her arms. “He's father's heir. Why isn't he the one suffering with lessons on how to be proper?”

    She pushes off the chair and goes to the window overlooking a grassy courtyard. A young boy with shaggy brown hair tumbles and plays with several dogs. He puts a small silver whistle to his lips, and the dogs immediately sit down at his feet.

    As if he can feel her stare, he looks up and a grin spreads across his face. “Vee!” she shouts. “Come down, I've found a new trail in the forest for us to explore!”

    With her mother shouting protests, Princess Valerie scampers down the stone steps and races off with her brother and their dogs.

    Granny sits inside her log cabin, rocking in her chair, missing Red. A knock at the door breaks her train of thought. Rumpelstiltskin waltzes in and waves his hand at the meagre fireplace making it roar to life.

    “Enjoying the quiet life? Must be a real change from locking up your grand daughter every month,” he chuckles.

    Granny's mouth is a tight line. “What do you want?”

    “I've come to collect of course!” He spins around and puts his arms out to the sides in a grand gesture. “I don't give out those magical cloaks for nothing. Thanks to me your Red can run around the countryside hiding her true self.”

    Granny hits him with a hard stare. “All I want is for her to be safe and happy. Thanks to you, she's on the run and away from her family...not exactly what you promised.”
    He cocks an eyebrow and holds out his hand, letting her know he's only here for one thing.

    Granny stomps her foot, making one of the floor boards lift up. She eases it back, and puts her hand inside. She pulls out a tiny box and hands it over. Rumpelstiltskin smiles and lifts the slim silver tube.

    “Pleasure doing business,” he bows. He pauses at the door, and takes in her lonely little room with it's tiny fire.

    “I feel as if she took my heart when she left,” Granny confesses.

    “The heart is irrelevant, Dearie. It's the soul that matters.”

    Valerie races ahead of Fridolf, her dress covered in mud. She laughs as he slips and trips with the dogs. She sprints to the garden where her parents, the King and Queen are waiting. Breathless, she collapses on the grass laughing and ignoring her mother's disapproving stare.

    Suddenly, Cora erupts into the garden in a swirl of purple smoke. Her eyes sweep across the garden, then zero in on Princess Valerie's mother. “Rapunzel! How dare you wear a Queen's crown!” she shrieks. “You are no more royalty than a toad in a well. It is my young daughter who is destined to be the great King's next bride someday, not your snivelling ragamuffin.”

    Valerie's father stands boldly in front of his family. “Your powers are useless here, witch,” he defies. “You locked her up once in a tower, but we outsmarted you. Blinded by the thorns, I still found her, and my newborn children. Her tears of joy healed my eyesight. Be gone,” he commands. “Your evil power will never be enough to break our hearts again.”

    Cora smiles, “How foolish of you to think it's your hearts I'm after.” Her gaze locks on Valerie. With a wave of her gloved hand, Cora sets the garden on fire. The castle explodes behind them. The Queen huddles over Valerie, trying to protect her. Another blast of wind and Valerie feels her mother's lifeless body fall away from and crumble to the ground beside her already dead father.

    Cora laughs and snatches up Valerie. “Your heart and soul with suffer with every breath you take,” she promises the young princess. Valerie lunges for her parents bodies, but Cora's hold is strong. She gallops away with Valerie over her lap.

    The last thing Valerie sees is Fridolf standing at the edge of the forest with his dogs, tears streaming down his face. She stares at him and knows he can read her face. Run, she tries to tell him, run back into the forest and hide...forever.

    Val returns to her shop—"Split Ends", Storybrooke's only beauty parlor. Ruby is waiting by the counter, pretending to check out the nail polish and asks for a trim. Valerie bites her lower lip, sensing that Ruby is lying. Ruby gets frustrated with Val's hesitation and blurts about her little run through the woods. She smiles widely and says. “I found him. He's alive!”

    From the street, Mr. Gold watches Val hug Ruby.

    A hooded figure enters a pub full of unsavory characters. A teen aged Valerie wipes her sweaty brow while evading the customers grimy hands. A toothless man behind the bar slaps down a bowl for her. She frantically spoons the mush into her mouth. He barks out an order, and nods to a table of leather clad thugs.


    “The Queen's guards,” he sneers in her face. “They show no mercy for scullery girls.”

    Valerie swallows the last of her pathetic supper and takes pewter cups of ale to the guards. One grabs her long blond hair and yanks her back. Suddenly, all their hands are pulling her closer, groping the tattered skirt and apron. She lets her arms go slack, pretending to give up, but before she can reach into the secret fold of her skirt, the hooded figure thrusts a knife into the air between the guards.

    Valerie takes her golden comb and swipes it along one of the guard's chin. A waterfall of hair grows like an unstoppable beard. The others are stunned as stumble and trip in the messy trap. But each time Valerie's comb touches them, hair springs forth, out of control. The hooded figure grabs Valerie. They race out of the pub, where a horse is waiting.

    “Who are you?” she asks breathlessly, tucking the golden comb back in her pocket. “Why did you save me?”

    He pulls back his hood and gives her a genuine smile, “My name is Peter,” he tells her.

    Val storms into Mr. Gold's shop and slams her golden comb down on his glass counter so hard the crystal mobile of unicorns hanging from the ceiling shakes. “Take this as a trade,” she starts. “Please, I'm begging you. Ruby says we're so close.” Her voice catches and the tears start to fall.

    Mr. Gold tilts his head. “We both know there is no magic left in that comb, Val.” He reaches under the glass and places a delicate bottle on the glass counter.

    “What's this?” she sniffs.

    “I need you to fill this for me...with your tears.” She reaches for the bottle, but he puts up a hand, stopping her. “Not tears of sadness...tears of joy.” He reads her expression and begins to explain. “People in this town are in a race to find magic. And the most powerful of all is love. Your father's blindness was cured by your mother's tears when she saw him stumble out of the forest, desperately looking for her.”

    Valerie sniffed again. “How do I know you won't create another horrible spell?”

    Mr. Gold holds up the bottle, “I know how it feels to be ripped apart from someone you love.”

    “And I'll cry tears of joy?” she asks guardedly.

    He reaches under the counter again, bringing out the small wooden box Granny hid under her floor. He opens it and hands her the small silver whistle.

    Val's eyes grow wide. She races out of the shop, her blond braid swinging from side to side. “You'll need a shovel,” he yells at her back.

    Peter and Valerie make a camp in the forest. He tells a fantastic tale of being lost in the woods last winter. He came upon a wolf, caught in a crude trap. Unable to let the magnificent beast suffer, he freed him and their shared body heat allowed them to survive the bitter night.
    In the morning, the wolf led him out of the forest. Peter felt badly for the creature who had a leather collar that was digging into it's flesh. When he cut away the binding, a silver whistle fell at his feet. The wolf then simply loped back into the forest.
    When Valerie gives him a sceptical look, he further explains about the night Red turned on him, but when he blew the silver whistle, it stopped her from attacking him. He barely managed to escape with only a few scratches, but dropped the whistle as he fled. When he finally returned, Granny told him that Red had run away for good.

    Since then, Peter's been searching for her. He's heard of a man who can grant any wish and he wants to find a cure. Valerie tells him about Cora destroying her family, and selling her off as a slave at the nearest village. She's tried to escape, but the woods are full of Ogres and ruthless renegades. Her only hope is that her twin brother is still alive.
    The Huntsman lets Snow White escape. He makes her a whistle out a stick and tells her to run deeper in to the forest. With his red eyed wolf by his side, he returns to the castle knowing he has to give the Evil Queen a fake heart.
    He kneels at the castle wall and stares into the red eye of the wolf, his only family since his own went up in flames. He ties the silver whistle around it's leather collar, “You have my soul,” he tells the wolf. “As long as you run free, so will I.”

    Val and Ruby stand at the edge of the forest as the full moon to comes out from behind the clouds. Val blows the silver whistle. Through the darkness the wolf with the red eye limps toward them. Ruby changes into her wolf form and joins the wolf as he leads them deeper into the forest.

    Peter and Valarie stand in front of a massive castle. The door opens and Belle lets them in. Rumpelstiltskin sits sideways on his chair letting one leg dangle over the golden armrest. Peter explains what they've come looking for.

    Rumpelstiltskin gives them a quest—locate a golden ball at the bottom of a well on the other side of the enchanted forest. If they return successful, he will give them their hearts content.

    Val finds the red eyed wolf lying on his side, his breathing is labored. Ruby begins to paw at the dirt, showing Val where to dig. The shovel breaks through the moist earth easily and Val soon feels the shovel hit something solid. She wipes away the dirt off the surface of the glass casket. Ruby yelps from above and jumps down into the grave in human form. She helps Val raise the lid.
    After months of searching, Peter and Valerie break through thick vines and find the well. It is a dark bottomless pit. Peter volunteers to go down. His voice echoes back up to her, then finally he yells out that he's found it. But before Valarie can pull him back up, a massive cloud engulfs the land, sending all the characters to Storybrooke.

    Mr. Gold finishes the shallow grave and wipes the dirt on his green apron. The glass coffin fits perfectly. He isn't sure the plan will work or if he even needs this to fulfil his master plan, but the unique casket will preserve the body for as long as he intends.

    He grabs his cane and hobbles out of the forest. He's almost run over by Sheriff Graham, looking wild and talking about a wolf he's seen in his dreams. Mr. Gold's eyes flick back to the secret grave and he says, “Don't you know that dreams are a memories of a previous life?”

    The red eyed wolf stumbles into Ruby's arms as she helps him lay over the body. “He's dying,” she tells Val. “This is his last promise, as the lone wolf from his pack...this is his duty.” She fixes Val with a steady gaze. “They share the same soul, their bond is stronger than Regina's magic. His heart was crushed, but it can beat again.”

    “He looks like he's sleeping,” Val cries, looking into the face of her long lost twin.

    Both women crouch down. The wolf instinctively crawls forward until his breath washes over Sheriff Graham's still face. “Blow the whistle again,” Ruby tells Val.

    With one last breath, the wolf closes it's red eye and slumps to the side. A second later, Sheriff Graham takes in a sharp breath and opens his eyes.

    The bell above the door to Mr. Gold's shop tinkles. Ruby walks in and puts a full jar of Val's joyful tears on the glass counter.

    “Does Storybrooke have a new Sheriff?” he asks, not looking up from his polishing.

    “He and Val have a lot of catching up to do,” she says, leaning on her hip. “Regina won't be so happy to know you've resurrected someone.”

    Mr. Gold only chuckles, “But it wasn't me, was it? I believe you and Val, and a certain loyal wolf can take credit for that.”

    Ruby starts to leave, but then she pauses.

    Mr. Gold finally looks up and meets her gaze. “Anything I can do for you?”

    “No,” Ruby switches weight between her feet a few times. “I just wanted to say it's cool how you helped Belle get the job at the library.”

    “Love is capable of many things, Ruby,” he says. “As long as the heart and soul are willing.”

    She frowns uncertain, and then leaves the shop.

    Mr. Gold looks down at the golden ball inside the polishing rag. He gently places it beside the spot where the whistle used to lay.

    Friday, 16 November 2012

    Twenty Things To Be Happy About

    1. Candy cane ice cream

    2. Sparkly shoes

    3. Heated swimming pools

    4. French braids

    5. Laughing until you cry

    6. Homemade bread

    7. Singing in the shower

    8. Sisters

    9. Vintage clothing stores

    10. Jumping into piles of leaves

    11. When your favorite jeans always fit

    13. Netflix

    12. Roller coasters

    14. Reading a book on a rainy afternoon

    15. Having birthday cake for breakfast

    16. Skating outdoors

    17. Kissing

    18. Milkshakes

    19. Chunky necklaces

    20. Dancing in the kitchen

    What are some of your favorite things? If you liked this, click on the Google +1 button below!

    Sunday, 11 November 2012

    Once Upon A Time, Episode 7, Season 2, “Child of the Moon”


    Or better title, "She's a Maneater"

    Look out Storybrooke, it's Ruby's time of the month.

    The dwarfs are hard at work mining for fairy dust. Grumpy finds a tunnel that reveals a wall of diamonds. The Blue Fairy arrives in her modest, Head Nun cardigan and explains that the magic has brought back the diamonds.

    You mean the magic that doesn't exist anymore?

    Henry and David are super excited because they still have Jefferson's dogged eared and useless hat, but
    when the dwarfs pulverise the 'magic diamonds' they'll have enough fairy dust to make it work again. And then poof! They'll ride the purple vortex to fairytale land.

    Brunettes kick butt in fairytale land.
    Red and Snow White race through the forest away from the Evil Queen's guards. They hide but Red's magical cloak (that prevents her from turning into a killer wolf) is torn. Worried she'll have Snow White for a late night snack, she decides to head deep into the forest alone, but not before we see someone watching her with yellow eyes.

    Do you know who was good at controlling wolves? Yes, that's right Schmexy. If he was still on the show, all their problems would be solved.

    Bachelor #1
    The dwarfs celebrate at the pub/dinner/laundromat and share a few pints with the Head Nun. Ruby cleans up the tables and has a nice chat with Billy, the tow truck guy—except he's also Gus, the mouse from Cinderella.

    Where is she anyway?

    Billy asks Ruby out on a date, but she tells him she already has plans. Her plans, it turns out, are to be locked up in the back since this is her first full moon since the curse has been broken. She's especially frantic because her magical red cloak is missing.

    David acts all fatherly and tells her not to worry because he knows she's not evil, just a nice girl with a few monthly issues.

    Do you know who is evil in Storybrooke? Well, yes the Mayor, but don't forget about Spencer, also known as King George, Prince Charming's less than charming dad. He tells David that the people of Storybrooke will soon figure out he's just a Shepherd not a Prince, or a Sheriff.

    Well, duh. I could have told him that.

    The next morning, Granny returns to the pub/dinner/laundromat, but Ruby's cage is ripped apart and full of claw marks.

    Henry is locked inside a burning castle foyer with some kind of disco floor. Aurora is across the room, hunched over—probably asleep again, the useless thing. He wakes up to find the Mayor is beside him. She explains Grandpa David had to go on a mystery call since he's the only law officer in Storybrooke. He asked her to watch over Henry since he's been having bad dreams. But Henry isn't just having nightmares...there is a burn on his hand!

    Nothing bad EVER happens in the forest.
    David and Granny find Ruby sleeping under a tree in the forest. There are no entrails or bones around her, so it's all cool.

    Red wakes and is relieved to see the cloak kept her human all night. But faster than you can say, “out of the blue” a guy decked out in black leather, snatches it away. Red warns him she's not safe to be around. He flashes his yellow eyes and admits he knows all about her wolf secret. He says, “I picked up on your scent last night.”

    Creepy pick-up line, dude.
    His name is Quinn, and he looks like Captain Hook's little brother.

    Hmm, a hot guy in leather with sexy stubble...where have I seen this before...?

                                                                      Maybe here?


    Or here?

    August Wayne Booth, aka, Pinocchio.

                                                                               Or here?

    Captain Sexy Eyes

    I wonder how long it will be until this latest one is killed off?

    Quinn takes Red to an underground castle where other 'children of the moon' live. A statuesque woman, named Anita, comes out of the shadows fully dressed in a leather bustier and feather earrings.

    The wolves are stylin'

    Looks like somebody has Black Eyed Peas tickets!

    Anita hugs Red and tells her she's her mother.

    Ruby and Granny join David on his emergency call for a double parked car. Oops, it's Billy, I mean Gus's, tow truck. Red screams when she finds Gus in front of the truck...and also in the dumpster.

    The Mayor asks Mr. Gold to check out Henry's 'dream burn.' Of course he has the answer, he's Mr. Gold!He talks for a bit about different worlds and how your soul can travel when you're asleep.

    People, don't get hung up on the specific rules, let's not forget the guys from LOST are writing this.

    Mr. Gold explains that once you learn to control something you no longer fear it. He gives Henry an amulet that will allow him to control the world he visits when he's asleep.

    I would have given him with a water hose since his greatest fear is being locked inside a burning room.

    David vows to help Ruby as random people from Storybrooke light torches and grumble incoherently in the background.

    Hey, it's Annabeth Gish from Mystic Pizza!

    Hint, Annabeth Gish is wearing the pink t-shirt.
    Mystic Pizza 1988

    Anita tells Red the only way she can control the wolf is by accepting it's a part of her. Red sheds her magical cloak and gives Mom a big hug.

    At her insistence, David locks Ruby in a cell, complete with double chains on the bars. Spencer strolls in threatening to lead the village people to storm the jail. Great! I love their music.

    Anita begins wolf lessons with Red and soon she's running and prancing with the pack.

    Spencer wastes no time in assembling his disgruntled mob, but instead of torches they have rifles. Yikes! He gives a quick speech about how Sheriff David is putting the safety of a killer ahead of the town's. They break in but Ruby's cell is empty.

    Belle allows Ruby to hide inside the library.

    I guess Storybrooke isn't full of readers.

    Back at the wolf palace, Snow White sneaks in and tries to convince Red to continue on with her. But Red chooses to stay with her pack. Snow White understands and gives her a big best friend forever hug. Suddenly, the Evil Queen's guards storm the room, and badly miss Snow White, shooting an arrow into sexy Quinn instead.

    Dear ABC,

    Again? Seriously?

    Ruby insists on being chained up, but Belle argues there is good inside her.

    There may also still be parts of Billy inside her too, but whatever...

    Ruby pulls a fake hug and chains Belle to the bookcase instead. Then she selfishly leaves the library to face the mob and get killed.

    Granny and her faint wolf nose, leads David through Storybrooke on a hunt for the real killer. The trail ends at a car that contains rope and Ruby's magical cloak. David reads the registration and realizes this is Spencer's car, and this whole mess was an elaborate plot to turn the town against him.

    Poor Gus.

    Anita blames Quinn's death on Snow White. She orders the pack to tie up Snow White and they'll feast on her tonight.


    Anita gets her fangs on and lunges at Snow White, but Red jumps in the way, accidentally impaling Anita with a long decorative spike that happened to be pointing upwards.

    I thought that was how you killed a vampire?

    Anyway, Snow White puts the magical cloak back on Red. Crying, Red tells her dying mother that she may be a wolf, but she's not a murderer.

    Well, unless you count pushing your mom into a spike.

    Move along, nothing to see...
    The angry mob corner Ruby, now in her fur coat. David arrives and tells the villagers that Spencer is the real murderer. Then he has a nice face to snout chat with Ruby, encouraging her to control the wolf inside.

    This must be something he learned from his days with the sheep. I guess David is also a wolf whisperer.

    When she stops growling, he throws the magical cloak over her and she transforms back, complete with perfect makeup.

    Ruby and David take off in pursuit of Spencer. They easily find him standing in front of a bonfire on the beach. He warns David he will never see his family again, and he throws Jefferson's hat into the fire.

    Red buries her mother under a full moon. She tells Snow White that she couldn't choose between the two worlds, but she now considers Snow White her family.

     David watches over Henry sleeping soundly. He and Ruby talk about not giving up, and that they'll find a way to fairytale land, even without Jefferson's hat.

    Aurora is back at the burning disco, but Henry is there with his amulet. He stops the fire and tells her to not be scared. Aurora wakes in a forest campsite and tells Mary Margaret and Emma about the little boy in her dream named Henry.

    Predictions for next week's episode

    #1. Snow White and Red find a cottage and gorge themselves on leftover porridge and break some furniture.

    #2. Hansel and Gretel demand a storyline since we haven't seen them since last season.

    #3. Captain Sexy Eyes decides to shave since all the clean-faced dudes last longer on the show.

    If you liked this, click the Google +1 button and help share the funny.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012

    Classic Advice For Every Writer At Any Stage

    The other day I came across one of my binders from high school—well, more like my mom brought it to my house. She's the one that found my creative writing folder, and thought I'd get a kick out of it since I've begun this 'let's see if I can get published' game.

    Check out my super cool Trapper Keeper!

    The rainbow was soon covered with this awesome shot of Duran Duran. Yes, it was the 80's.
    Besides having way nicer penmanship back then, I also discovered a few gems written in the margins. And I couldn't help but appreciate how timely it was to have this particular piece of advice on self editing while I'm knee deep in NaNoWriMo.

    Thanks to my English teacher from Chester Municipal High School, Mr. Doug Ross. *waves*

    Here are my favorite bits of "writerly" advice from high school...

    #1. Let your characters experience the story rather than tell it.

    #2. A good narrative voice should use honest, understandable language, relay information, and express a clear point of view. 

    #3. Who is your target audience? Imagine you're reading your story to them, what would you emphasize?

    #4. Take out the word 'very'.

    #5. Write ten titles. Write ten lead sentences. Write ten concluding sentences. Now take a concluding sentence and try it as a lead sentence.

    What's your best advice for writers?

    Monday, 5 November 2012

    Once Upon A Time Episode 6, Season 2, “Tallahassee”

    Or better title, "That Damn Puppet!"

    It all started with a magic bean...
    photo credit,

    Knowing they need the magic compass to get back to Storybrooke, Emma, Mary Margaret, and Mulan stare up at the sky scraping bean stalk while the ever silent, Sleeping Beauty...well, just stares.

    Captain Sexy Eyes gives the girls (and us), a brief history lesson about how giants used to grow magic portal beans. Big monsters declare war on humans all the time in fairytale land, and the human army was led by a shy farmer named Jack. After an epic battle atop the famous bean stalk, one giant remains.

    Really? I would've bet on the giants.

    Captain Sexy Eyes shows them his special glowing bracelet that will allow him to climb the enchanted vine, but here's the twist, he only has one more bracelet since it was supposed to be used by Cora.

    Um...couldn't she just fly up or something?

    We see Emma with a pony tail and glasses—this is clearly, pre-Henry. She steals a yellow bug—yes that yellow bug. A guy pops up from the backseat making her scream.

    Backseat driver.
    photo credit,

    Hey! It's the guy from the useless prologue from the first episode. What is Bellfire doing in Emma's yellow bug? *Reaches for Tylenol* 

    He starts to flirt with her, which should be the first red flag, and asks her out for drinks. It's soon apparent this guy is smitten, and not the owner of the car.

    Wow! What are the odds the car you've stolen has already been stolen? Pretty basic first date so far. It also happens to be the way I met my husband.

    Emma convinces Mary Margaret to let her accompany Captain Sexy Eyes up the bean stalk. Mulan gives her a sack of poppy seeds to use as a powerful sleeping potion. (Well sure, if you're going to have Frankenstein, you might as well in corporate The Wizard of Oz).

    Emma makes Mulan promise to chop down the vine if she's not back in ten hours, and...psst, make sure to get Mary Margaret back to Storybrooke.

    They start to climb, and I'm thinking ten hours was a generous estimate. 

    Hello! You're climbing into the clouds!

    Captain Sexy Eyes takes this opportunity to flirt with Emma. With his usual confident swagger, he teases she has the look of an orphan, so similar to all the Lost Boys on Neverland. He can tell she's never truly been in love.

    A very pregnant Emma, and her car stealing boyfriend, enter a convenience store and practise their shoplifting skills. They run out with Emma's fake tummy full of pop and Twinkies.

    What kind of criminals are they? Shouldn't they be doing something more than pocketing gum?

    Anyway, the nameless boyfriend gets all sentimental and convinces Emma that it's time to settle down and start eating real food. She closes her eyes, points to the map and chooses...Tallahassee.

    Mulan makes a sundial and schedules sleep shifts. Mary Margaret convinces Aurora—yes! I can finally stop typing 'Sleeping Beauty'—to catch a few winks as well, but she whines that her nightmares keep her up. That plus the fact she's been asleep for like a hundred years...

    Emma and Captain Sexy Eyes finally make it to the top and find a derelict castle looming in front of them. He administers some first aid to a cut on her hand, but Emma is so head strong and tough she's immune to his charms.

    He takes off his manly pirate scarf, wraps it around her hand, and then knots it off with is teeth. All the while giving her a hypnotic stare with those terribly, sexy eyes. Then he leans close I can count his eyelashes and smell a faint taste of rum off his breath.

    Er...sorry. Right, ahem.

    It's not eyeliner, it's face paint for men.
    photo credit,

    Emma sees his tattoo of Melana's name on his arm and she figures out that Mr. Gold took more than his hand. But the pirate has no desire to talk about his feelings either, instead they discuss the best way to attack the giant.

    Emma's boyfriend confesses he's in hot water for a bag of stolen watches, and the cops are looking for him. He breaks the news that Tallahassee is out, and he needs to escape to Canada...alone. But Emma has been picturing days spent at the beach while pickpocketing tourists. She convinces him to let her retrieve the watches from his locker at the train station...or something like that.

    It doesn't matter, we all know it's not going to end well.

    This dude looks LOST.
    photo credit,
    As per some elaborate plan, Captain Sexy Eyes makes a lot of noise to summon the Giant. The big curly haired dude, from Lost shows up. While Captain Sexy Eyes distracts him, Emma throws the whole bag of poppy powder at his face. Within seconds Hurley falls.

    Mulan checks her sundial and the ever helpful Aurora has a nightmare. She tells Mary Margaret she was trapped in a room with burning curtains. There was someone else with her, hiding in the corner, but all she could see were his eyes. Mary Margaret soothes her back to sleep and this scene was such an obvious info-dump it isn't even funny.

    Captain Sexy Eyes keeps pocketing golden treasure while Emma impatiently prompts him to hurry up. They stumble across several booby traps and more flirting continues—Emma's 'tough girl with a heart of stone persona' is an interesting challenge for the pirate.

    Emma goes to the train station and easily retrieves the stolen watches. She jumps into the yellow bug, where her guy is waiting. He puts one of the watches on her wrist, takes the rest to sell speedy quick, and then they're Tallahassee bound, baby!

    Gee, I hope nothing bad happens.

    Lover Boy doesn't get very far before he's August Wayne Booth. He wastes no time in playing the magic card, and blurts out that Emma has a destiny. And here's a hint, it has nothing to do with Tallahassee. In order to convince him, August walks him over to his motorcycle and shows him something in a box.

    It must be one hell of a good trick, because the boyfriend doesn't even bat an eye when August proceeds to tell him everything.

    Hands up!
    photo credit,
    Emma is arrested after being told she was set up by her lover boy.

    The giant wakes up and runs into the castle, causing such a ground shaking disturbance, that Captain Sexy Eyes is trapped under falling rocks.

    Dear ABC,

    Please, please, please, stop killing off the hot guys.

    August and lover boy meet up in Vancouver, CANADA!!! Emma will be in jail for eleven months. Lover Boy is upset that he can't have any contact with her. He hands over the keys to the yellow bug. August promises to watch over Emma.

    We know how that turned out the last time, right?

    Lover Boy begs August to send him word when it's safe to see her again.

    Giant Hurley picks up Emma and starts to crush her, apparently he has some unresolved issues over the whole 'humans whipped out my species' thing. Emma is brilliant under pressure and she bites his huge thumb with her tiny teeth. This causes enough searing pain for him to drop her.

    He runs after her and she springs one of the booby traps. With a poisoned tipped sword aimed straight for his eye, Giant Hurley gives Emma the magic compass, snarling that all humans are killers. Emma walks away without harming him, and he smashes out of the trap. But, instead of crushing her or making soup with her bones, he helps dig out Captain Sexy Eyes.


    Emma quickly shows him the compass but refuses to let him have it. Then she handcuffs him to a post, saying she has trust issues and just needs a head start.

    photo credit,
    Mulan checks her sundial, and realizes that ten hours have passed. She starts to cut down the bean stalk causing Mary Margaret to freak out and attack her. Meanwhile, Aurora stands and watches. Yup, she just stands and watches.

    Emma jumps down from the air, breaking up the fight. Mary Margaret gives her a lecture about death wishes and tells her the only way they go back to Storybrooke is together.

    Emma sits in prison with her positive pregnancy test.

    Henry wakes from a nightmare, and is quickly consoled by David. He describes a room with burning curtains and a girl who just stands there and stares at him.

    Hmm...standing and staring? Does that sound like anyone we know?

    Predictions for next episode

    Emma starts drinking rum and keeps Captain Sexy Eye's scarf close to her heart.

    Lover Boy arrives in Storybrooke and is surprised to see that everyone, even the dwarfs, are better looking than him.

    David furrows his brow, then looks longingly into the camera and once again wishes there was magic so he could make a portal to fairytale land.
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