Wednesday, 6 February 2013

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 6 "O CANADA!"

Lake Louise, September 2011
photocredit, Bethany Myers


The girls are being whisked away to Lake Louise in Banff National Park in Alberta, CANADA.

I was there two years ago with my family (see above photo) and it is absolutely gorgeous. Lake Louise is named after the Princess Louise Caroline Alberta (1848-1939), the fourth daughter of Queen Victoria, and the wife of John Campbell, the 9th Duke of Argyll, who was the Governor of Canada from 1878 to 1883.

But the girls don't have time to bother with silly trivia. There's lip gloss to apply, damn it!

Sean takes Catherine on the one on one date. He makes her wait on a glacier until he finally shows up, driving a giant snow bus.

Real gentlemen don't let their dates shiver in the cold.

Things get stupid when they pull out a sled in the near blizzard conditions. They have a romantic cup of hot chocolate and try kissing. Remember that scene from A Christmas Story when the kids tongue stuck to the pole?

They dine inside an ice castle—well...I mean they drink, but again there's no food.

Catherine tells Sean she has a serious side, and because she lost a friend at the age of twelve this of course has led her to being on reality TV. Then they smile and laugh and make out.

Sean takes a few girls on a group date...including Tierra.

What hilarious hijinks are to follow?

Sean makes the girls canoe across Lake Louise.

Here's a tip girls, you don't step into the canoe until it's in the water.

They manage to make it across the lake and he drops the bomb that they have to go swimming in the freezing water. But it's perfectly safe because there are life guards and a trained paramedic waiting to restart your heart with a defibrilator...just in case.


Selma says, “Call me a princess but I don't think risking my life for a rose is necessary.”

No, it's called smart. Ten points for Selma.

They get in their bikinis and the squealing begins. There is five seconds of swimming and everyone is back on the beach and high fiving each other like they've done something.

Tierra starts to shake and says she can't breathe. The emergency team bundle her up and rush her back to the hotel speedy quick.

I'm sure she'll be all better by the time drinks are ready to be served. She also didn't have to take a canoe ride back.

OMG. She is wearing oxygen via nasal prongs and is shoving a big mac in her face while someone helps put on her socks.

This show is sooooo stupid.


Sean visits her and says, “You keep finding ways to get one on one with me.”

He tells her to stay at the hotel while he takes the other girls out for supper.

I'm predicting a miraculous recovery.

WHERE ARE THE DRAGONS?

This stupid episode would be so much better with dragons.

Leslie and Sean cuddle because when Sean takes the girls out for supper it means having make out sessions between rounds of drinks.

Sean tells her, “I appreciate you so much.”

Danger phrase.

Leslie tells the camera, “We have the connection, the chemistry, and the passion. It's like the perfect recipe for the best relationship.”

Or herpes.

Sarah shows Sean a few of her family pictures and I think she is way too sweet to be on this show.

Tierra pulls out the oxygen prongs and puts on the dazzle.

The producers rub their hands in anticipation.

It's convenient how the girls have been drinking and talking about Tierra when she walks in—almost like it's scripted! But that's crazy because this is reality television.

Sean arrives and immediately whisks her away.

She is *lightning clap* The Tierrorist.

Sean cuddles with her for awhile, then he gets a little time in with Lindsay. They don't say anything but a lot of tongue action is going on.

Lesley gets the date rose and The Tierrorist doesn't like that at all.


Sean takes Sarah aside and I'm guessing the limo of tears is pulling up to the hotel. He says he doesn't want her to sit through a rose ceremony waiting to find out what he's already decided.

Sarah has to go back into the room and say good bye to the girls. Sean's cruelty knows no bounds.

I've begun to notice that when the girls cry the music tempo picks up. I wonder what would happen if the mixed up the slow guitar make out music and the crying music?

Sean takes Desiree on the solo date.

Daniella asks the camera, “Why is he taking Desiree on a second date when I haven't even been on one? What is Sean looking for?”

He's looking for more time with Desiree, dummy.

They repel down the face of a rock and Desiree keeps reminding us that it's steep. They get to the bottom and have a picnic composed mostly of booze, I'm guessing.

Yup, two wine bottles.

Desiree confides to Sean that she grew up with very little money—her family lived in a tent for a few months at one point. He gives her the rose and I really wish the camera would STOP zooming in on their mouths.

At the rose ceremony Sean tells all the girls that he's had a great week in Canada, and it's cleared his head from all the doubt he had last week.

Go Canada Go!

This is a picture of me enjoying the view of Jasper National Park on the Columbia Icefield Highway.

 


 

Selma has decided that she's going to make her mom upset by kissing Sean on national television.

Relax mom, it's pretty tame. They didn't even play the guitar music.

Lindsay tells him that she isn't going to kiss him this time. She giggles and says, “This is hard.”

*giggles*

They trade two questions and then start to make out.

AshLee asks Sean to blindfold her as a way of giving him control over her, and trusting him. I think he would have been happy with a simple make out session. Sean leads her to a bench where they can make out.

Shocking.

The last rose available is between Tierra, Daniella, and Selma.

He gives it to Tierra. And the producers cheer!

Selma is composed, but Daniella falls apart. To be honest, I don't even know how she got past the first ceremony.

4 comments:

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

Yay! :) Love, love, love these. I always look forward to your posts. Like always, I was rolling with laughter. This is such a crazy show and yet I find myself, not only watching it every week, but looking forward to all the drama. And your recaps make it even better :) Thanks:)

Daisy Carter said...

FYI, I don't watch the Bachelor (it makes my eyeballs bleed), but I LOVE reading these.

Always makes my day. Thanks!

T. Drecker said...

I can't watch those shows. Nope, just can't do it.
But YOUR versions are amazing!

Bethany Myers said...

Thank you, ladies. If my posts can help others enjoy the show without having to watch it, then...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

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