Monday, 28 September 2015

Once Upon A Time Season 5, Episode 1 "Dark Swan"

Or better title "Eyebrows Make All the Difference"

Well, here we are again, my friends. Another season of OUAT, who will we meet from the Disney franchise this time?


King Arthur and Sir Lancelot race on horseback in search of Excalibur. They find the legendary sword stuck in stone, but before Arthur can fulfill Merlin's prophecy, one of the knights gets greedy and despite everyone's warnings, tries to take the sword. Instead, he dies in a plume of smoke. When King Arthur successfully retrieves Excalibur, they see the end piece is missing.

*Gasp* The dagger of the Dark One is the missing piece!

Back in Storybrooke everyone stares at the dagger. Hook grabs it tries to summon Emma, but she's gone realm hopping and is outside of the dagger's magical pull. Instead, we see her emerge from a well and is now in the enchanted forest. And there to greet her is Rumpelstiltskin.

When Emma mentions it's impossible for him to be in front of her since he's actually in a coma in Storybrooke, he simply says, "I'm many things."

*cough* loop hole *cough*

Ignoring Rumpelstilskin's giddy prolomation that she'll give in to the powers of darkness, Emma leaves in search of Merlin so he can separate her from the dagger.

Wicked is the Way

The Apprentice gives Regina a wand to help find Emma, but it doesn't work because she's too good. Hook is all sassy and says they need a real villain—Selina, the wicked witch for example.

Good thing they've kept her locked up in the pysch ward.

Selina puts on her best 'I'm hot and you're not' face, and tells them all they need is to find an object that is important to Emma and that will help create the portal that will lead them to Emma. But Selina wants them to take off her wrist band that blocks her magic. Regina storms off, not willing to let that happen.

And because all this crazy stuff is happening, it's only natural for Belle to be worried about Mr. Gold dying while she reads a few good books. The blue fairy magics up a rose inside a glass case for her to carry around. As long as the petals are intact, Mr. Gold is still alive.

So every time we see Belle for the rest of the season, she'll be carrying this awkward case. Way to go, blue fairy.

Bad to the Bone

Meanwhile, Emma discovers the enchanted forest is full of peasants who aren't exactly cooperative. Rumpelstiltskin keeps talking in her ear like the little devil that sits on your shoulder who rationalizes all your bad behavior.

FYI, my little devil thinks I'm awesome!

A blue wisp flits by and Rumpelstiltskin tells Emma if she can catch it, she'll find Merlin. She races after the wisp and watches as someone snatches it out of the air and traps it in a bag. Emma tackles the stranger with magic.

Oh, hello. It's the chick from BRAVE.

Instead of fighting her like Rumpelstilskin wants, Emma goes along with Merida. Once they return the wisp to its home, it will grant them the answer to any question they ask it. Merida explains the clans are fighting and her three brothers have been kidnapped, she needs the wisp to tell her where they are. Then she promises to let Emma ask a question too.

They make camp and Rumpelstiltskin sneaks around, whispering to Emma that the wisp will only help one person. She realizes the only way to find Merlin is to betray Merida and take the wisp for herself.

Hmm...not seeing a lot of darkness yet.

Portals Galore

Hook and Henry break Selina out of jail, but not before she cuts off her hand, then reattaches it once the bracelet is off. She says, "See ya, losers." And disappears into a vortex of green.

Oops. Man, she is really wicked.

Not wasting anytime, Selina takes Robin hostage in exchange for the apprentice's wand so she can return to OZ. The wand creates the portal, but Regina is so slick she slaps the bracelet back on Selina, rendering her powerless.

Regina suddenly has the ability to use the wand.

Um...why? Is she bad enough now or something?

With the help of Emma's baby blanket a vortex opens up directly over Granny's pub/diner/Laundromat. The house gets pulled up into the air.


Merida sneaks away from Emma and uses the wisp for herself, but before she can follow the wisp to find her brothers, Emma arrives all upset because she wanted to use the wisp first.

Darn! What can she do?

With Rumpelstiltskin's encouragement, Emma decides she has to rip out Merida's heart.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Emma and Merida fight while Rumpelstiltskin manages to convince her to take out Merida's heart. Hook and the others arrive just in time to coax Emma to put the heart back like a nice girl. Emma says, "The darkness will consume everyone I care about. I need to find Merlin, so I have to kill Merida."

Um...what? There's probably more than one wisp around. Or, should could go with Merida and the wisp, then recapture the wisp after it leads Merida to her brothers. Or...oh, never mind.

Anyway, Hook manages to convince her love is the answer and she does the ole heart transplant. Merida goes on her way, ready to take the path of peace instead of the bloody fight she was planning on doing once she found her brother's kidnappers.

Mary Margaret gives Emma the dagger, but she passes it to Regina, knowing she's the only one who can handle the burden. Without warning, out of the woods, King Arthur comes with the broken Excalibur stating Merlin sent them, according to his prophecy. They say Emma is the one who will lead them to Merlin.

Go directly to Camelot, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

So everyone, including Granny, the dwarfs, Neal, go to the Camelot.

Six weeks later, Granny's pub/diner/Laundromat slams back down into Storybrooke. But no one has any memory of what happened six weeks ago. Emma walks in with white eyebrows, wearing a long black cloak rocking the Dark One's look.


Emma answers, "Because I'm the Dark One."

Who was tonight's MVP?

#1. Emma
#2. Regina
#3. Selina

1 comment:

Ricky Pine said...

I vote Emma for MVP, just 'cause she was trying so hard not to give in to the darkness and Force-choke people, and the hell did she give in anyway? That's what I wanna know...

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