Or better title "Bare It All"
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In Storybrooke, Regina has completed the potion that will allow them to communicate with Merlin. King Arthur arrives with that stupid magic mushroom and asks the others to leave because Merlin is very fussy who he'll respond to.
Regina is suspicious, but David and Mary Margaret are all, "Sure, Art. No problemo. We'll all wait outside. Do your thing, it's not like anyone has double-crossed up before."
Belle has had enough of this tired fungus storyline and leaves to go look for Rumple.
That's the spirit!
Once everyone leaves, King Arthur tosses the mushroom into the fire, then tells them it didn't work.
Mwahahaha! How evil.
In the woods, Mr. Gold is having an awkward session with the chipped cup. When Merida leaves, he smashes the cup and uses its sharp edges to cut through his tied hands.
Emma is unfazed to find that Mr. Gold has escaped. She orders Merida to put an arrow through Belle's heart. This is the only way to force Mr. Gold into becoming a hero apparently. So it's not really a dark thing because she knows Belle won't die and Mr. Gold will finally become a hero.
Plus, when she visits Zalena in jail she gives her onion rings because Emma can empathize what it's like to be pregnant and in jail.I don't think she's fully grasping the whole Dark One philosophy. Zalena eats all the onion rings without sharing.
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Concussion Time
Back in Camelot, Belle impresses Merlin with her reading abilities after she gives him a spell to help break Lancelot and Merida out of Arthur's jail. Seeing that Belle has 'magic smarts' Merida knocks her unconscious the first chance they're alone so she can cook up a potion to help her find her kidnapped brothers.
Right, because that's super brave.
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When Belle comes to, instead of having a concussion or even being a tad upset at being kidnapped, she's totes into the plan and can't wait to use her magic cookbook.
Who is responsible for these wigs?
After Belle completes the recipe, Merida peeks into the magical caldron or something and sees the rebel clans will kill her brothers by sundown if she doesn't relinquish the crown to them. They don't want a Queen to rule them so instead of killing her and making one of her brothers King, they will kill all of her brothers.
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Merida freaks out and lets Belle know she has a magic potion that will change her fate.
In my day we called it gin.
Escape!
Back in Storybrooke's library, Belle is startled when the steampunk elevator doors open and Mr. Gold is cowering inside. I guess he came in through the mines or something...this town is full of secret passageways.
Anyway, Mr. Gold is shaking and basically incontinent at the thought of going outside. Belle is like, "Dude, suck it up. So your foot is sore from escaping. Big deal. Let's drag your arse back to the shop and magic you some personality."
But Merida shows up, sending arrows everywhere except for the target. Realizing Mr. Gold is hopeless, Belle pulls the rug out from under Merida and gives her a concussion for a change.
Pay back!
Mr. Gold rushes to his safe and grabs a pouch full of transformation power. Belle asks why they need it. He says, "It's time to get the hell out of this hole."
Across town, The Charmings realize King Arthur fooled them. Regina rolls her eyes and suggests they get Henry to try summoning Merlin since he's the next author.
Sure, whatever.
It works, but instead of any useful information, they see Merlin warning them against The Dark One.
That. Was. Useless.
Meanwhile, Mr. Gold speeds to the edge of town. Belle tries to get him to pull over and not be such a coward, but he's like, "People keep knocking you unconscious and someone is trying to kill you. We need to leave. You need to work in a library where people actually read!"
But Belle is adamant she wants to stay. Mr. Gold leaves her on the road and speeds across the town limits. Then Merida shows up. "Aye. Here to kill ya." But instead of using her arrows, she drinks her potion (the real potion this time) and turns into the bear.
Bear or Bare Chests
In another dimension, Merida and Belle hide behind a rock while a rough troop of Chippendale performers prepare to murder her brothers.
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Anyway, Merida jumps out and talks about how sorry they will be. She guzzles her potion, but nothing happens. Belle, that sneaky trickster, changed it for water. So instead of changing into a bear, she's still Merida, girl in the bad wig. Belle then whispers harshly about being brave and blah, blah, blah, Merida gets courage and all this time none of the Chippendale dancers think of killing Merida because...?
So, Merida shoots the arrow that deflects the three arrows intended to kill her brothers. The dudes all bow their heads, knowing they've just witnessed some badass archery. The clans give her their support and the brothers rush over for a big hair hug.
Seriously. Those wigs, though.
Hero Time
Merida the bear chases Belle through the forest. Then out of nowhere, Mr. Gold shows up. He throws his pouch at the bear and it turns back into Merida.
In Emma's basement, Mr. Gold makes a deal with Emma to return Merida’s heart in exchange for his sword-pulling services. Emma agrees. He gives Belle a sweet good-bye speech in case he isn't worthy to pull the sword which makes me all misty eyed.
Thankfully, Mr. Gold is a hero. He hands the sword to Emma but also warns her that because of her greediness she made a huge mistake—she made him into a hero.
She's like, "Pfft, this town is full of heroes."
Mr. Gold smiles and it's like a bit of the old sly dog is in there. He says, "There's on hero like me."
Whoo-hoo! Bring it, Rumple.
Who was this episode's MVP?
#1. The chipped cup
#2. Merida's wig
#3. The fire proof mushroom
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