Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Once Upon A Time Season 5 Episode 8 "The Birth"

Or better title "A View of the Sea"

In this back to back episode special, the first half consisted of the main characters explaining all the tedious loops holes while the second half brought tertiary characters that hold no real interest together to fill in the last forty-five minutes. But I have to say, I'm loving all AFF ) awesome female friendships).

The Birth began with everyone hunting down Arthur for burning the magic mushroom thingy that allowed them to talk to Merlin. He and Marion were chillin' in his tent enjoying a chianti and using a ping pong table as furniture.

No wonder he's missing Camelot.

He escapes out the back and Hook chases him down. Arthur soon overpowers Hook and is about to finish him off when Emma poofs into the scene with Excalibur.

After Emma saved him, Hook brushes the pine needles off his black leather chaps and starts screaming at her. Like, really screaming. If you love me how can you be the Dark One? And why can't we remember anything about Camelot?

Emma finally uses her low, gruff voice and screams back. "You want to know why I'm the Dark One?! It's all because of you!"

After hearing this revelation from Hook, Regina is all like, "Oh, please, she became the Dark One for me, remember?"

This Hook/Emma relationship seems so forced this season. Anyone else feel Regina and Emma make a better couple than Hook and Emma?

Undaunted by Regina's widsom and kick ass wit, Hook wants answers now! Answers he hasn't gotten since they all woke up in Granny's diner dressed like Renasance Fair extras. So Hook decides to throw himself off a building, trusting the fact Emma will appear to save him.

Bingo! She arrives in her usual plume of smoke and prevents his skull from smashing into Main Street. Instead of thanking her, he gives a long speech about now every ring on his finger represented someone he killed in the past when he was a badass pirate. Then he utters this gem, "I won't judge you the way I did several times before. I will love you no matter what you've done (now that you've saved my life) because I have done evil things too."

Then Emma says she'll finally tell him why she stole everyone's memories and became The Dark One. Except she says it many times and it lasts for two commercial breaks.

And what is the super secret reason for all this mess? What is the motive that drove her to make such a decision?

Real estate, my friend.

She takes Hook to her house, tells him that it was a house he and Henry secretly picked from them to move into. He's stunned then she shows him the view through the telescope. "You can see the ocearn from here. This is why I became the Dark One, to give us this future together." And then they make out because this makes perfect sense.

Back in Camelot, Emma learns from Merlin that her family is hostage in the forest and if she doesn't make Excalibur whole using Prometheus's spark, Arthur will order Merlin to kill her whole family out in the woods while she watched!

With her family's lives on the line, Emma arrives at the forest to save them and a battle ensues. In the mayhem, Hook uselessly charges Arthur and gets a flesh wound in the neck. Emma quickly heels him and the danger is over.

Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Zelena's pregnancy goes into overdrive (magicked along by Emma's onion rings from last episode) and she's taken to the hospital while Regina and Robin watch awkwardly. After a healthy baby girl is delivered, Emma shows up. They fear she's there for the baby, instead she kidnaps Zelena.

Grand plan revealed! Emma is going to put all the darkness into Zelena and then kill Zelena.


Hasn't Emma been the only once this season saying that darkness is a metaphor and people are not two-dimensional representations of good and evil, but instead beings capable of making choices based on logic and emotion?

Zelena finds herself locked up in Emma's basement with Hook. They chirp at each other in order to dump a lot of info for the viewer. Zelena, "My wrist band prevents me from using magic. There's no way out of here." Hook, "Remember my hook is enchanted. That should help us out of this jam."

Regina arrives with the Charmings to Emma's house, instead of staying with her true love, Robin and his brand new baby. These two keep finding ways to be together. When will OUAT reveal the real romance of this series.

Anyway, as soon as Hook takes off Zelena's cuff she escapes speedy quick, but then she returns with a dream catcher she happened to trip over in the backyard: a dream catcher full of Hook's memories.


Back in Camelot, after Emma was able to forge the Dagger and Excalibur, that magic somehow undid the magic she used to hell Hook's neck wound.

How? Why? Who knows, no one knows. There's so many loop holes and ass backwards logic in this show, let's not waste time trying to figure that one out.

Ignoring everyone's pleas to just let him die and to keep forging the blade, Emma whisks him off to a flower filled valley and cries that she can't let him go.

Sure you can. You still have Regina.

The only way to save Hook, is to bind him to the sword to make him immortal. He's like, "No, actually just let me die." But Emma said, "I can't lose you too."

Ka-Blamo! Hook gets a cape.

Okay, I actually enjoyed this twist. But why did Emma act all evil if she was actually only keeping Hook alive? And why did the memory curse work on Hook if he's a Dark One?
Hey, too bad they can't just True Love Kiss each other back to okay, but True Love's Kiss never seems to stick with these two...interesting.

But Hook isn't happy to learn he's the Dark One. He decides to take Zelena as his cohort in a plan to...who knows?

Who was the MVP for this episode?

#1. Zelena's baby

#2. Hook's hook

#3. Regina's wit

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