Besides getting A LOT of writing done, there are some other unseen and pleasant advantages to hobbling around.
Me and my new best friends, Righty and Lefty. It's important to make sure your toe nail polish matches the color of your cast. |
Top Six Best Things About Being On Crutches
1. People find me 62% more interesting, especially strangers and little kids.
2. In regards to the airport, I no longer have to wait with the able bodied schmucks. It's front of the line for me!
3. Everyone I come across suddenly turns into Carson from Downton Abbey, eager to wait on me by offering me drinks and a lap blanket.
Mr. Carson. photo credit, townhallblog.com |
4. I can't help but build up my upper body strength. This not only increases my chances of landing that deodorant commercial, but finally I stand a chance at the arm wrestling competition coming up at the Fall Fair.
5. People congratulate me for completing mundane tasks, making me feel like a frickin' genius. "Wow, you handled those stairs so well. You're really good with those crutches."
6. Each time someone asks how I hurt myself, is an opportunity to make up a fantastic story thereby increasing my 'genius potential' (see #4). So far I've taken down a purse snatcher, tumbled out of a sweet trick in the skate park, been the victim of sabotage from a jealous competitor during auditions for Dancing With The Stars, and of course the classic, 'banana peel on the sidewalk'.
Hopefully, I'll be hobbling around soon without Righty and Lefty, but until that day I guess I'll keep enjoying the perks.
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