Thursday, 2 October 2014

Once Upon A Time, Season 4, Episode 1, "A Tale of Two Sisters"

Or better title "Freezer Burn"

The parents of Elsa and Anna are about to go down with their ship in a rough storm. The mother makes a quick note and puts it in a bottle. She says, "The girls need to know the truth."

Wow! Whatever she wrote on that note must be important. Which makes me wonder, why did the parents wait until certain death before sending this crucial tidbit to the girls? Why not have a letter in a safe back in the palace? Or entrust it with a trusted palace official? Or even one of those troll things? Or...oh never mind.   

Five years later Elsa and Anna visit their parent's grave. The two grow melancholy until Elsa brings up Anna and Kristoff's quickly approaching wedding. Elsa says she has a special present for Anna.

Zipping to the present time, we see Elsa emerge from the symbol on the barn floor and enter Storybrooke. She walks along the darkened streets and almost gets run over by Grumpy's truck. She hits them with a wall of ice to prevent the accident.

Regina now has to deal with Robin Hood's newly arrived wife, Marion.

Poor Regina. It's bad enough your boyfriend's wife shows up, but when she calls you an evil witch in front of everyone...well, let's just say she's entitled to whatever diabolical plan she'll cook up later.
Elsa excitedly shows Anna the present—their mother's wedding dress and a special snowflake pendant. Elsa starts reading their mother's diary that she just happened to find. Her eyes grow wide as she tearfully explains she's the reason their parents died.
After Belle and Mr. Gold get married (gag), they visit Neal's grave. Mr. Gold is still keeping the dagger a secret from Belle. He privately vows to avenge Neal's death.

Psst...having secret agendas and magical weapons is the key to a long and happy marriage. 

Robin visits Regina and tells her that even though he's still hot for her, he has to stay loyal to his wife. He says he has to live by his code.

The code? You're a fairy tale character, dude.

Regina gets so mad she breaks a mirror with her hate. She picks up a shard and grins wickedly at herself. This gives her an idea. She slips into the hospital and makes her way to the psychiatric ward where they keep patients locked inside dark cells. that right? Where are the police? Or...oh never mind.

Since there's no security or staff of any kind in this secret hospital prison, Regina peeks in on a patient in confinement and easily opens the door. It's Mr. Glass, her old mirror. And we all know Mr. Glass will do anything for his evil queen.
Mr. Gold and Belle tour their new house. It has a huge library and comes with a ballroom, which comes in handy when they totally rip off the dance scene from Disney. It also comes with a small circular chest that's locked.

Nothing strange about that. 

Hook and Emma have one of those awkward talks when you make out with someone and then don't know what to say the next day. Grumpy interrupts them, screaming about an ice monster loose in Storybrooke.

Elsa is convinced their parents were so scared of her icy powers they tried to escape on that fateful ship.

Um...if they were so terrified why did they leave little Anna in the palace with Elsa? Or why not have Elsa shipped away to live in an igloo up north? Or why not banish her to the highest alp? Or...oh never mind. This is "Once Upon A Time" and logic rarely matters.

Emma and Hook follow a trail of ice. Elsa manages to conjure a snow monster that begins to cause chaos in the streets.

Not ready to believe Elsa's theory, Anna consults the troll king about their parent's last voyage. He says their parents were going to Misthaven, but for what reason he doesn't know. Anna is convinced they should travel there for the answer, but Elsa will not leave the kingdom.

While her snow monster roams the streets, Elsa hides in an alley where she happens to see a newspaper blow by with a wedding photo of Mr. Gold and Belle. 

That was fast, they just got married.

Regina brings Mr. Glass up to speed on what he's missed. She decides to go back in time to kill Marion before Emma can bring her back to Storybrooke.

Awesome plan. No snags there.
Elsa slips undetected through the streets of Storybrooke until she finds Mr. Gold's pawn shop.
Anna secretly takes off for Misthaven, leaving Elsa on shore with Kristoff.

The snow monster goes into the forest and happens to find Robin, Marion, Hook, Emma, and David at a campsite. Emma tries her magic, but it doesn't work. Regina shows up and destroys the beast right before it almost crushes Marion.

Regina leaves in a plume of purple smoke before anyone can thank her.

A lonely, soft flute plays in the background.

Hook tells Emma they should enjoy the quiet moments that come between fighting monsters, but she confesses she feels too guilty to make out because she ruined Regina's good times with Robin by bringing his wife back. 

Emma goes to Regina's house and tries to talk to her through the doorway. She says she's commited to giving everyone a happy ending.

So many inappropriate jokes happening in my mind right now.

Regina asks the mirror to help her change fate. She claims Henry's story book is the reason she's so unhappy. Then she announces, "It's time to find out who wrote this book and make them give the villains their happy ending."

Mr. Gold looks at his sleeping bride and while he polishes his secret dagger. Sorry, that came out wrong. He uses it to open the small chest. Inside is what looks like a tiny universe.

Whoa! What the heck have the writers been drinking?

Elsa watches helplessly as Anna's ship leaves for Misthaven. Kristoff tells her Misthaven is another name for the enchanted forest. Anna stands on the deck of the ship with her eyes full of hope. She touches the snowflake pendant and smiles.

Back in Storybrooke Elsa breaks into Mr. Gold's shop. She finds the snowflake pendant and whispers, "I'll find you Anna."

Dun dun dun!!!

Hey, if you liked this, check out my other Once Upon A Time recaps here.


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