Monday, 11 April 2016

Once Upon A Time, Season 5, Episode 16 "Our Decay"

or better title "Terrible Parenting"

The show starts with Zelena celebrating her birthday, she doesn't know the date but that doesn't stop her from reliving the moment Cora gave her up, and that's what she commemorates instead. While enjoying this morbid flashback, the flying monkeys drop off the Scarecrow. Apparently, Zalena needs his brain to make a time travel spell to go back to that moment to save her baby self.

What could go wrong?

Then Dorothy shows up looking like a bounty hunter and rescues the Scarecrow. What a crappy way to celebrate your abandonment day! Anyway, Hades shows up with his own story of woe. He hates his sibling too for taking his rightful place in Olympus as opposed to the Underworld. And if that wasn't enough, his heart stopped beating and can only be fixed guessed it, true loves kiss.

Meanwhile in Strorybrooke, Belle pays a visit to the convent which is also the place people leave abandoned babies. Baby Neal and Zalena's baby are side by side. Belle brings formula because none of the nuns breast feed?

This show y'all!!!

Anyway, one of the nun's is Zelena, but before the blue fairy can Bibity Bobity Boo a solution, a hole opens in the floor. Belle and Zelena's baby get sucked in so Zelena jumps in after.

Back in the present in the Underworld, Mr. Gold is working his spinning wheel because Hades needs his blood to open a portal because the blood of the Dark One can open portals.

I know my questions are pointless but wouldn't Mr. Gold already know this? Also, why is he using a spinning wheel when he could just use a dagger or a knife or even a paper cut?

Anyway, it works and a portal opens, but nothing comes out and it soon closes up. Mr. Gold is like, see ya.

Belle and Zelena end up on the street in the Underworld and remark at the red sky. Belle takes Zelena's baby and runs away! Zelena has twisted her ankle and discovers she has no magic in the underworld.

How inconvenient!

Belle rushes to the library for safety and runs into Mr. Gold.

This was the best part of this episode! He explains that he's the Dark One again and that's how it is, chick. "You've always loved me, this is how I've always been and will always be. I'm powerful, magical, and awesome. Deal with it."

Belle tries to be, "No, you're not that man." But she's soon, "Okay, I'll take you back...regardless of your powers and awesomeness...*bats eyelashes* Dark One."

Then he says, "By the way, I sold our kid to Hades and that's an issue because you're pregnant."

Belle show some grit and says, "Dude, I get it. I'm totes onboard with your dark side. You're the beast and the man, now get me and this other baby the eff out of this hell hole."

Meanwhile, Henry wakes up to find he's not only written in the story book while he's been asleep but he's illustrated as well. "It's like the book is writing itself!"

This show, y'all!!!

Snow White and David miss baby Neal and learn they can haunt him from a phone booth at the corner so this is what they concern themselves with for the rest of the episode.

Back in OZ, Hades uses Dorothy's bike to locate the Scarecrow. While he pedals Zalena hops on the handlebars and before you can say true loves kiss, they're falling for each other...

Fast forward to present-day Underworld, where Zelena finds Regina and Robin in the woods. "Hey, how could you abandon our daughter to come to hell for a pirate you don't even like?" He just shrugs and refers to Regina who still won't declare her love for Emma, especially with Robin standing there so useless.

Zelena begs to hold the baby, besides she has a bottle of formula. She confesses she has no magic. They hand over the unnamed baby and Zalena immediately runs away with her. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oops, until she twists her ankle again.

Zelena is an emotional mess. Her baby has a scratch on her cheek and she can't heel it with magic. Feeling like a pathetic mother, she gives the baby back to Robin and Regina, and begs them to keep her safe from Hades.

What happened between them?

Well, according to the flashback, after she located Dorothy's cabin, she found the Scarecrow and took his brain. Then she and Hades had a candle light dinner where he confessed his true love for her and tried to kiss her!!!

Considering they'd only spent twenty minutes together, Zelena was unconvinced. Instead of coming up with a way to prove his love, he called her a nut job and she must really have a heart of ice to turn him down.

This show y'all!!!

But how could Zelena be expected to belief this speedy quick emotional journey...or us for that matter?

However, logic aside, the episode built up to Zelena and Hades reuniting in the Underworld.

It's revealed that he created the portal not to steal her baby, but to show her what he's created for her, her own Storybrooke to rule over, exactly the same as Regina's. Also he'd discovered her birthday: April 15. When he revealed he'd tortured Cora for the information, Zelena seemed to give him another look over.

Why would he have had to torture Cora for that information?

This show y'all!!!

Anyway, it worked because Zelena was suddenly, "I'll get my daughter back first and then we'll take it from there."

Oh, and before the show ended, Henry brought the book out and showed Snow White what he'd just written in his sleep (?) It was a story about how baby Neal heard his parents voices singing to him and then fell fast asleep.

Never mind that his crib mate was baby napped and taken down a hole that opened up in the nursery floor.

With Emma standing right there, Snow White is determined to fight her way out of hell to get back to her baby.

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