Each of the past contestants sit in front of a live studio audience to finish the fights they started on the show. One by one the girls sit with the Host to 'vent' their feelings.
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It's Tierra time! She tell us she's now engaged and has an obnoxiously huge diamond.
*cough* fake *cough*
Something seems to be missing though...oh right, she forgot her sparkle at home. Here's her best crazy quote of the night to one of the many girls who still hate her, “I'm not calling you a liar, I'm saying that you lied.”
Dear Tierra,
This is a prime time family show, keep that eyebrow under control!
Love ABC
The Host brings Sarah up to the stage where she has to watch her last farewell on the huge monitor. That was such an awkward dumping scene. She barely gets three seconds into her montage before the tears started. So she's crying on tape, and she's crying on stage.
She explains being let go by Sean was like him saying, “You're great, but you're not good enough for me.”
Dear Sarah,
We prefer the term, 'rose ceremony'.
Love ABC
Desiree is up next. And we're treated to even MORE past video shots of them making out. How do the other girls feel about having to watch this? Can you say, 'salt in the wound?'
Desiree cries on stage as she watches herself cry in the limo. But she pulls it together and tells the Host, “I didn't expect to fall for Sean, so that was a huge surprise. Next time I won't let my thoughts get the best of me.”
Dear Desiree,
I can understand how your thoughts would confuse you, they confuse me, too. Also, you signed up for a show where the guy might propose at the end.
Love ABC
AshLee arrives with her new blond extensions. Again the other girls are treated to shots of AshLee making out with Sean. Then finally the crushing good bye scene. She confidently says, “Okay this guy doesn't want me, I have to move on.”
Dear AshLee,
Moving on means not showing up for 'The Women Tell All' show.
Love ABC
Sean is brought out to the stage and the audience of women scream like he's Sheriff Graham. Sensing they need some conflict to make things interesting, The Host invites AshLee to join them. Sean gives her a warm hug and compliments her on her hair, which secretly means, “You're hotter than I remember.”
Awesome hair is the best revenge.
Sean tells her she was always the front runner for him, except he needed someone who could create a family with lots of laughing. And sadly, AshLee doesn't make him laugh enough.
AshLee confronts him about all the future talk they did the night before the rose ceremony. He replies, “The only way you'll understand if you're in the same situation.”
Then she drops a bombshell that he told her he had 'nothing going on' with the other two girls. There's lots of oohs from the audience. Sean turns fire engine red and denies EVER saying that to her.
Dear Sean,
Man up, dude.
Love ABC
We're treated to some off camera dialogue between AshLee and Sean. He still denies what he said, but there is definitely some chemistry still there.
We are forced to watch the stupid blooper reel. My favorite was when Sean couldn't open the bottle of wine and AshLee had to take it from him and do it herself.
You'd think with the amount of wine consumed during the show, he'd be able to do it with his teeth.
At this point I stopped watching, sorry. The Host was promising more footage of Sean kissing the last two while he teases us with details that he's maybe engaged and definitely thinking about falling in love. Definitely.
A young Snow White approaches her mother, the Queen, super excited about her upcoming royal birthday. The Queen promises to give her a gift that was once her grandmother's and will now be passed down to her.
When Snow White and the Queen enter her room they catch one of the servants trying on a tiara.
blogzap2it.com
It's Mrs. Padmore from Downton! Hi Mrs. Padmore!
But the Queen insists on calling her Johanna.
Snow White chastises Johanna, but the Queen Mother steps in and demands that Snow apologize. Then there's a long speech about how she has to rule the kingdom with kindness and goodness in her heart...or something like that.
Suddenly the Queen Mother collapses and Johanna runs to fetch Carson.
Mary Margaret and David argue over the fact that she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, mumbling something about a curse.
OMG! That again! I'm so sick of everyone blaming the curse.
There's a present left anonymously for Mary Margaret, and it's the tiara. The card is signed from Johanna.
When David arrives at the Sheriff's station he finds Schmexy waiting for him!!
Just kidding.
Hook is there instead. He easily knocks David out—he's so manly he only needs one hand, and steals his set of keys. Hook searches the office like a madman, unlocking every cabinet.
Actually he opens one drawer and finds exactly what he wants—his hook.
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Mary Margaret finds Johanna gardening in front of her home. Johanna explains how she saw the tiara in Mr. Gold's shop and just had to get it for her birthday. They talk about flowers and how Snow White was named after a flower that bloomed even in the harshest weather, because she was born during a snow storm...or something like that.
The both hear something and Mary Margaret takes off into the woods. She spies Cora and the Mayor digging in random spots, in search of Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. The Mayor is frustrated because Hook's map is magical and only he can read it properly.
Cora eases the frustration and explains that her magic will fix the map. It will only take some more time, but it will be worth it when they can use the dagger to make The Dark One kill anyone they want.
Dear ABC,
Isn't it convenient they went over their diabolical plan AGAIN, right at the exact moment Mary Margaret stumbled upon them?
Mary Margaret runs speedy quick to the Sheriff's office just as David starts to wake up. She explains the two most evil and powerful woman in the village are looking for the most powerful and evil weapon.
This is their plan; Mary Margaret is going to convince the Mayor NOT to trust her mother.
Huh?
Back in New York, Henry starts bonding with his dad, Neil while Emma and Mr. Gold lurk close behind feeling like a couple of lost causes.
Mr. Gold gives us his quote of the show, “The people who are the closest to us, are the ones capable of hurting us the most.”
So true. Especially if the one who is closest to you keeps giving you nuggies.
Mr. Gold keeps nettling Emma to convince Neil to return back to Storybrooke. She gives him a line about trying to protect Henry. Mr. Gold calls her out and says she's still in love with Baelfire...um Neil.
Mary Margaret tricks the Mayor into visiting her at Granny's pub/laundromat/diner under the guise of the latest news about Henry. Mary Margaret confronts her about her forest activities with dear ole' mom, and tries to convince her that Cora doesn't care about helping her get custody of Henry.
The Mayor isn't buying it. She throws out a snide remark about mother's who die.
Little Snow White stays at her mother's bedside and suggests her birthday ball should be cancelled until her mother is feeling better. The palace doctor exchanges glances with Johanna and Snow White picks up that things aren't looking that good.
She takes Johanna aside and begs her for help. Johanna whispers that since the doctor is clueless that maybe this would be a good time to consult the Queen's very secret, very mysterious magical consultant.
Apparently there's a fairy that only grants wishes to those who are true of heart...or something like that.
Cleavage warning.
Emma casually brings up Storybrooke to Neil. He refuses to return, but then confesses he has something to tell her.
Henry bursts between them, spoiling the moment. He and Neil go up to his apartment to get his camera for there latest New York tourist activity, while Emma and Mr. Gold wait downstairs.
Suddenly, without any warning, like totally by surprise, Hook jumps out from nowhere and attacks Mr. Gold, piercing his heart with his hook, his enchanted hook.
Dear ABC,
If Hook gets Mr. Gold's enchanted heart, then he controls him...right?Why didn't Cora do this instead of digging up the whole forest?
But before he can rip out his heart, Emma knocks Hook out with a trashcan.
Neil races into the scene! He looks at the unconscious pirate with disgust, remembering when his Mother ran away with Hook. The sight of Mr. Gold dying warms Neil's own heart and he takes his Papa back up to his apartment for some first aid.
After Emma locks up Hook in the utility closet, she finds Neil hovering over Mr. Gold, pressing a bandage to his chest and talking craziness about hospitals and emergency departments.
But Mr. Gold puts the kibosh on that plan, since Hook's hook (it sounds funny but it's true) was covered in poison and the antidote is only available in Fairy Tale Land.
How will they get back?
Emma mentions Hook's map and figures he sailed to Storybrooke. Neil coughs up to volunteer as captain and sail his Papa back for the cure.
Wow, that was easy.
David and Mary Margaret rush to the Head Nun's house (aka Blue Fairy) and beg for her to use her magic to find the dagger before Cora gets her hands on it. Mary Margaret says, “Please Mother Superior, you're our only hope.”
Dear ABC,
Why does that line sound familiar?
Little Snow White goes into the woods in search of the Blue Fairy. She finds her without too much effort but is upset when the Blue Fairy, in all her over the top Las Vegas cleavage, tells her that fairy magic is the most pure of magic and using it to extend a life would darken it...or something like that.
But the Blue Fairy lets it slip that there is a way to help using a magic that is dire for fairies to use and she makes the little princess promise NOT to tell anyone.
The Blue Fairy gives Snow White a candle infused with magic. But all magic comes with a price; in order for the Queen to live, someone else must give up theirs, and it's up to Snow White to decide.
Yikes! She's like twelve.
Snow White realizes the Queen wouldn't be too keen on this, and she refuses the candle.
Okay, that was a waste.
Emma gets a text from David. She tells Mr. Gold he has to tell her where he's hidden the dagger so they can get it first before Cora. He refuses, but then she plays the, 'you better start trusting your family,' card.
Mother Superior can't get into Mr. Gold's shop, her magic is too pure and weak...or something like that.
Mary Margaret asks her to use dark magic and give her a 'wink-wink-nudge-nudge.' But the Blue Fairy has no clue what she's talking about. Before this conversation can continue, David's phone rings. It's Emma! And she knows where the dagger is.
Little Snow White rushes to her mother's bedside and confesses about her foray into forest and her unwillingness to kill someone else in order to save her mother's life.
The Queen says she's proud of Snow White and that as long as she holds the spirit of goodness in her heart, she will always be with her. Then she takes her last breath as the violins play and the tears flow.
David and Mary Margaret find the dagger hidden behind the town clock. Cora and the Mayor appear in a plume of purple smoke. Before Mary Margaret can say, “Ha! Good always beats evil,” Cora snaps her fingers and a very confused Johanna is summoned. The Mayor does the chest punch trick and turns to Mary Margaret with Johanna's enchanted heart in her fist.
Quick! Ring for Carson!!!
Once again, there is a choice of one life over another.
Johanna puts the tiara on little Snow White, all dressed in black. She tells her to buck up and be the leader the Queen always wanted her to grow into.
Where the heck is the King during all this?
Little Snow White gives her mother a final good-bye. After the funeral, the Blue Fairy flies into the empty room. In a swirl of purple smoke, she turns into Cora.
Cora saunters up to the tomb and explains to the Queen's corpse (and us) that she poisoned her on purpose and tried to trick Snow White into using black magic. However, she will not give up and promises to turn Snow White's good soul into a dark one.
Mary Margaret begs for Johanna's life. Cora says one sentence about the Queen wanting her to be good. Mary Margaret uses her inner Scooby-Doo and figures out it was Cora who pretended to be the Blue Fairy, and it was Cora who poisoned her mother.
Cora smiles with a shrug and says it was all done so that Regina could be Queen. This is news to the Mayor, but she keeps her cool and demands the dagger.
David whispers, “No, Mary Margaret we can still win.”
Why doesn't she just throw the dagger at Cora's eyeball?
Mary Margaret drops the dagger. The Mayor gives Johanna a heart transplant and she runs to Mary Margaret's arms. Cora scoops up the dagger, then with a whip of her wand, sends Johanna through the clock window to her death on the pavement below.
Way to go Mary Margaret.
Cora and the Mayor return to her house where it's the Mayor's turn to impersonate Scooby-Doo. She monologues about how her mother orchestrated the meeting of Snow White on the runaway horse knowing that the King would be lonely and looking for a new wife.
Then she asks what they'll do about Henry once Mary Margaret blabs about the nasty business with Johanna. But Cora is cooler than the Grinch as she caresses the dagger, “Don't worry my dear,” she says. “My interests are in line with yours. The others will soon be an unfortunate memory and Henry will be yours.”
Neil and Emma hustle down the sidewalk. He's about to hot wire a car for their road trip back to Storybrooke when a beautiful woman rushes up and hugs him, acting all concerned since he told her he had to leave town quickly.
That's his big secret? He has a girlfriend!
Emma looks awkward and crumbles when Neil introduces her to his fiance.
That's his big secret? He has a fiance!
Mary Margaret and David stand over Johanna's grave (wow that was fast!) and do some deep soul searching. Good versus evil...blah, blah, blah.
Mary Margaret has had enough, “No more lives wasted. No more hearts broken!”
Um...okay. Got a plan?
David interrupts her pep talk with news about the nasty dagger and making sure they getit back before Mr. Gold returns to Storybrooke. Then Mary Margaret vows to kill Cora...or something like that.
Game on.
Stuff I Liked
1. Mary Margaret's various tam and big scarf combos. Also the plaid pea coat in the last scene was super sweet.
2. A lot of stuff happened.
3. Mrs. Padmore!
Stuff I Didn't Like
1. Everyone figured everything out faster than a mind reader.
2. Mrs. Padmore died.
3. The Sheriff didn't return.
Who is going to die next? And where the heck is Rapunzel?
WhenVampire Diaries started a few seasons ago, I was HOOKED!
Who wouldn't love the tension in each scene as the teenage love triangle between a beautiful human girl and two vampire brothers developed? Of course it helped that they were super cute and really rich.
Then after season two, around the time Caroline seamlessly slipped into vampire mode, easily managing with eating squirrels instead of humans, I grew tired of the repetitive plot of Stefan/Damon fighting the paranormal world to save Elana.
I wondered why I liked those brothers to begin with and I started to make some comparisons to another pair of siblings I once had a MAJOR crush on...I won't say what year.
hardyboysfans.com
The top five reasons why Frank and Joe Hardy are better than Stefan and Damon Salvatore.
1. Frank and Joe keep up their studies in school and also hold down part time jobs.
Damon and Stefan Salvatore...? Um...nope, neither.
2. Frank and Joe not only use their smarts and logic to figure out who the real culprit is, but they're brave enough to take down any criminal if they try to escape. These mere mortals regularly put their life on the line to see justice served.
Damon and Stefan...not so much.
3. Frank and Joe attract chicks with their awesome hair and good manners.
Damon and Stefan fight over Elana and eventually turn her into a vampire.
4. Frank is a surfing champ in Hawaii and Joe sings in a band. Plus they have motorbikes in the back of their van, just in case they need to chase down a criminal.
Damon and Stefan are in competition to kill the most ghouls to earn the right to sleep with Elana.
5. Frank and Joe assist the police on a regular basis to put criminals behind bars and keep the public safe.
Damon and Stefan eat the public...and the criminals.
BONUS!!
The Salvatore brothers NEVER had and NEVER WILL have a top forty hit on the charts.
Which brothers would you rather spend an evening with?
Sean takes AshLee, Catherine and Lindsay to Thailand for the overnight dates.
He says, “It's amazing to think these are my last three girls.”
Unless he signs up for the show again.
I fast forward through the next thirteen minutes of footage from previous episodes where Sean does a voice over about the girls as having the potential to be his next wife.
Lindsay is the first to arrive. There's a lot of giggling and loud smacking kissing. Sean takes her to a market where they look at neon dyed chicks.
She giggles, “This will be just like when we go grocery shopping.”
A-huh.
Sean makes her eat a slug.
She tells the camera, “I considered not eating the bug, but once I saw how brave Sean was, I had to do it for him.”
This is me.
They sit on the beach and reminisce about how much her family loves him. Sean smiles back and nods.
Lindsay tells us, “Last week I told Sean I was falling in love with him, and this week I definitely am.”
Good to know you're consistent.
“But I haven't told him that I AM in love with him because I'm afraid of getting hurt.”
*reaches for Tylenol*
They have supper in front of lit up neon floats. She says, “This night can't get more romantic.”
Or cheesy.
When Sean asks her IF they get engaged would she move to Dallas.
Lindsay replies tearfully, “I have everything totally open.”
*Refrains from obvious joke*
Then Lindsay does a painful monologue trying to build up the courage to tell him the 'L' word. But just as she's about to spill the beans, dancers show up as the entertainment.
She says, “I feel like I'm in a movie.”
Nope. TV show.
Sean gives her an envelope with a key to spend the night together in the fantasy suite. She grabs Sean and runs down the path to the hotel.
Guess what kind of movie you're in now, Lindsay?
Oh dear Lord! They lounge on a bed and drink. Lindsay does another painful monologue, pauses, leans in closer, pauses...then finally she tells Sean she loves him.
And this is his super romantic reply, “I love hearing you say that.”
One down and two to go, eh, Sean?
AshLee arrives and begins to ooze her adoration for Sean. He takes her cave diving because he wants to force her to trust him into not letting her drown.
AshLee is obviously worried when Sean takes them into the pitch black cave and he gets them lost.
I hope the camera man has a map.
She says, “As much as I'm terrified, I'm willing to do this for Sean.”
Finally they make it through to the other side, and there's a private beach waiting for them. They make out because no one died.
Now it's time for their supper ie: large glasses of wine, and Sean's envelope offering. He tells her, “I know you love the qualities that I possess and how those are the qualities you need. I love that feeling.”
Oh, you mean how everyone loves you? Gee, that's big of you.
When Sean offers AshLee the envelope, she pauses. He senses her hesitation and he spells out that there will be no special naked hugs but only a time for both of them to T.A.L.K.
She tells us, “I will do everything in my power to make sure this man is happy.”
Really? Even eat bugs?
Catherine arrives and Sean is all huggy-kissy-poo as if he hasn't been making out the past two nights. He takes her on a boat where there is drinking and snuggling.
He tells her, “I love your weirdness.”
And her mouth, apparently.
They talk about the awkward family visit from last week, but she lets him know she'd move to Dallas speedy quick.
He takes her snorkeling and they make out.
What? No bugs or blind spelunking?
Catherine tells Sean over a supper of drinks, “I didn't want to spend the night in the fantasy suite because I want to be seen as a lady. But now I realize it's not about that.”
That's right, girl! It's about getting that rose!
They spend the night in the pool and make out some more. Whatever.
Sean sits down with the Host to fill air time discuss who he'll be sending home.
“It kills me inside to send her home. She's so full of love. It almost breaks my heart.”
Did you hear that? It ALMOST breaks his heart.
I fast forward through the footage of Sean looking pensive at the horizon.
It's time for the rose ceremony. There are only two roses. Sean seems to be struggling...Lindsay lets out a breath and curses because the pressure of having someone give you a rose who may or may not propose to you in the future is scarier than eating bugs.
He gives Lindsay the first rose.
And the second rose goes to...(there is a thirty second footage of no one speaking and alternating close-ups of Sean, then Catherine, then AshLee, then back to Sean...).
Oh the tension!
Catherine finally gets the last rose.
AshLee walks away stone faced as Sean runs after her, saying how super awesome she is.
But as bad as she feels, I feel worse. I thought this was the last episode. Dear Lord, there are two next week!
This Sunday the red carpet will be rolled out for Hollywood's elite. Three of the six nominees for Best Picture are based on novels. If you haven't had a chance to see the movies yet, this is your opportunity to dive into some fabulous stories.
And since the authors hardly ever get a mention on Oscar night, the least you can do is buy their novel.
Last year I nearly went through the television when everyone who accepted an award for HUGO, never once uttered the name, Brian Selznik. I guess an increase in sales is acknowledgement enough.
Personally, I'm rooting for Life of Pi, not only because Yann Martel is Canadian (hooray) but it is an amazing story with scenes that will stay with you long after you read the last page. I haven't seen the movie yet because I loved the book so much.
Do you have a favorite book you'd like to see made into a movie? Besides your own, that is ;)
Sean is all set to meet the last four contestant's families. He tells us, “I'm anxious to give AshLee's parents a chance to know me.”
Or they could watch the show.
AshLee's Dad asks for the low down on all the stuff the two of them have been up to.
xfinity.comcast.net
I think he was just trying to make conversation, but AshLee took the opportunity to tell them EVERYTHING.
“We went polar dipping in freezing water. Then we went to St. Croix and rolled around in the sand,” she laughed. “And I told him that I loved him.”
Holy crap! Awkward alert!
AshLee's Mom takes Sean aside. “What are your intentions with my daughter? Are you going to break her heart?”
Come on, Mom. It's a contest.
She explains to Sean how fragile AshLee's heart is and the number of foster homes she was in before they adopted her when she was four.
AshLee's Dad is upfront and asks Sean if he even loves her. Sean glows red and gives a chuckle. “Well, I think she's fantastic and love is on the horizon.”
AshLee's Dad then gives a touching story of the first time he saw AshLee as her foster father.
Seangoes to Seattle to meet Catherine's family. He talks about how much fun they always have together. There's lots of giggling as they go through the farmers market.
Someone should tell them that when cameras aren't following you around, things aren't so fun.
Sean says, “I feel like she sees both sides of me.”
You mean the contestant side when you were on The Bachelorette, and now the prize side since you're well...the prize.
Catherine's sisters take her aside and try to inject some sensibility. They ask her, “What the heck are you doing?! Are you ready to marry this guy?”
She tells them, “If he proposes in the end of this, then yeah, sure I'll give this a try.”
The sister's talk with Sean and let him know that he's clueless, Catherine's clueless, and together they're just goofy.
Catherine's Mom takes him in the kitchen, and he asks for her blessing. She smiles then tells him, “Let's just see where you are after you meet the other girl's families.”
Ten points for Catherine's family.
Sean's next stop is to meet Lindsay and her family.
Psst...Lindsay's Dad is a General in the army.
She says, “I can't wait to meet Sean in the real world.”
Yup. This has REAL written all over it.
He says, “Every time I sit down with Lindsay I get a better appreciation of what kind of woman she is.”
By 'sit down' means 'make out.'
Lindsay's Mom is all giggles, but the General looks like he's having his prostate checked.
Sean asks the General if he can have his blessing—you know if he chooses Lindsay in the end—the General gives a spiel about the army, and then finally gives his blessing. Then the family gives Sean honorary dog tags.
Wow! I had no idea they were that anxious to get rid of Lindsay.
Desiree is up next. She takes him on a hike in the Los Angeles mountains.
She tells us, “If we end up together, this is what regular life will be like for us.”
Hiking with a camera crew is pretty regular.
She takes him to her place where they make supper for her parents. There's a knock on the door and a guy comes in confessing his love for Desiree.
OMG! A jealous ex-boyfriend? I'm betting it's a joke to get back at Sean for the stupid gallery prank thing he did.
Yes, thank you. Total set up.
Ten points for me.
Desiree's family comes in and both the parents are ready to marry Sean themselves. Big brother Nate though, is very protective.
He tells her, “This is stupid. I know you're ready, but I just don't want it to be for the wrong dude.”
Twenty points for Nate.
Nate quietly confronts Sean. He sees that Desiree is totally into Sean, but the feeling isn't mutual. Sean gives his favorite line, “I'm crazy about (insert name).”
Nate stares him down and says, “If you love my sister, does that mean you're ready to pick her?”
Sean turns red, “Well no, I haven't chosen yet. My heart hasn't decided.”
Nate comes back with, “I think you're just a playboy having fun with one girl, then going on to the next.”
Wow, it's like he's been watching the show.
Sean is incensed! He tells the camera, “I can't believe he called me a playboy. That's not me at all.”
That's right. You're a gigolo for ABC.
Seriously, though. There's nothing playboy about this...
Or This...
Or this...
It's time for the rose ceremony. Sean sits with the Host for a little chit chat.
Sean confesses, “I'm confused.”
Truly, I understand. How can he hook up with Desiree with her brother constantly throwing the truth in his face?
Sean is about to give out the first rose and Desiree asks to speak with him outside. She cries while trying to apologize for her brother.
Excuse me! He's your brother! He's supposed to protect you. Now you look pathetic.
My nerves! Anyway Sean gives the first rose to AshLee. Lindsay is called next, and her family cheers in the background.
And the last rose goes to...no one. Sean leaves the room and I hit the fast forward button. We get the voice over that he was going to send Desiree home, but now he's having second thoughts.
And the last rose goes to...Catherine.
I'm predicting Desiree is going to pound the crap out of her brother—but in the end, once she sees all the footage, she will understand that she owes him.
Desiree tells him he's making a huge mistake.
Sean gives her these comforting words, “Each time I pray for clarity, but today it didn't come.”
Sean can't even fall back on his 'I'm crazy about you,' line. Right before he puts her in the weepy limo he says, “I'm going to miss you so much.”
“Then don't let me go,” she cries in his arms.
Oh for God's sake, get in the car and get on with your life.
And what does Sarah think about all this?
What do you think of all this? Should he have given the rose to Desiree?
Rumpelstiltskin enters his cottage and gives Mela the good news that he's been called up to fight in the ogre wars. She's afraid because well, duh, it's ogres and everything, but he convinces her his heroism will bring great honor to their little abode.
onceuponatimewikia.com
Emma, Mr. Gold and Henry arrive at Bellfire's apartment in NYC.
The Mayor and Cora have a mother/daughter chat in the bedroom. Hook shows up and the Mayor explains to him (and us) that they can't leave Storybrooke to run down Mr. Gold, but Cora tells them this is the perfect time to use the one thing that he's defenceless against—the dagger.
Emma sees a guy take off out the fire escape. She yells to Mr. Gold and Henry that this MUST be Baelfire.
Of course it is.
Emma switches into Charlie's Angels gear and manages to tackle him after three blocks.
'Neil' tells Emma that he has never forgiven Mr. Gold for abandoning him.
Emma freaks out since Henry is now officially Rumpelstiltskin's grandson. He denies knowing who she really was when they met, but only found out her true identity after August showed up and opened his wooden box of doom, and showed him one neatly typed line, “I know you are Baelfire.”
I can't believe I've been writing it wrong all this time.
She says, “You gave me up because of Pinochhio”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.
Emma decides to keep Henry's existence a secret. Then for symbolic reasons, she rips off the necklace that was part of the key chain Neil gave her, and tells him it was a reminder to never trust anyone.
But, alas she has to keep her promise to Mr. Gold and deliver Baelfire.
Rumpelstiltskin is asked to guard a prisoner that can help turn the tides of the ogre war.
I hope he doesn't mess this up.
He lifts the flap and sees a child with their eyes sewn shut.
My kids screamed at this scene.
She begs Rumpelstiltskin for water. He is resistant, but when the little girl tells him Mela is already pregnant, he is intrigued. He gives her water and she tells him his actions on the battlefield will leave his son fatherless.
He gets angry since the whole point of going to war is to prove he isn't a coward, but he didn't sign up to die before his son is even born.
Emma calls Mary Margaret for advice about Baelfire. She tries to convince Emma to tell Henry the truth, but when Emma joins Henry and Mr. Gold, she tells them Baelfire got away.
The Mayor decides to pay Belle a visit in hopes of finding the dagger with his name. She puts Belle to sleep magically and then makes all the contents of her purse whirl through the air.
For the record, Nancy Drew could have done the same thing without magic.
The Mayor finds a slip of paper with a numerical code. With help from Cora and Hook, she searches the library and finds a hand drawn map...a treasure map.
Despite Emma's objections, Mr. Gold breaks into Baelfire's apartment.
Rumpelstiltskin learns about the next days battle and the little girl's prophecy is coming true. Convinced he's gong to die the next day and leave his son fatherless, he purposely breaks his foot in order to be deemed unfit to fight.
In Baelfire's apartment Mr. Gold can tell Emma is lying to him. He gets all up in her face for breaking their deal when Baelfire bursts into the room.
Rumpelstiltskin limps home to find Mela holding baby Baelfire. He's overjoyed but she confronts him about hurting himself on purpose, and bringing shame on their family. He asks her what he was supposed to do.
She's disgusted with him and says, “You could have fought. You could have died.”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.
Baelfire demands Mr. Gold leave his apartment. Mr. Gold picks up on the obvious clue when she calls him 'Neil'. After a lot of shouting, Henry comes out of hiding. Baelfire does the math and asks if Henry is his son.
Emma drops the bomb shell leaving the three fellas gobsmacked.
Greg, the guy who ran Hook over with his car, is allowed to wander the hospital and take videos with his phone. While the Mayor was unnecessarily making Belle's purse hover in the air, he managed to film it and e-mail it to his wife.
Cora and the Mayor take give each other high fives after Hook decodes the treasure map. Once they have the dagger, they will control the Dark One, and then he can kill Emma, Mary Margaret, and anyone else they don't like. Henry will go back to live with the Mayor, la dee da, and all will be as it should.
Yup. That's iron clad.
Mr. Gold tells Baelfire that there is no greater pain than regret. He propositions Baelfire to return to Storybrooke where, surprise... there's magic! Then they can start over and forget all that Dark One nonsense.
But Baelfire isn't buying it and he reminds Mr. Gold how he let him get sucked into the vortex instead of giving up magic.
Rumpelstiltskin wanders the forest as the Dark One. He meets up with the seer, who is now a young woman. He blames her for being light on the details about her first prediction. She tells him he will find his son again, but the path won't be an easy one and it will take many years.
He gets tired of her riddles and decides to take away her power of sight so he can 'see' for himself.
Baelfire and Henry bond on the fire escape as Mr. Gold watches, reliving all his mistakes.
Before she dies, the seer tells Rumpelstiltskin that a boy will lead him to his son, but the boy will be his undoing. After hearing that Rumpelstiltskin vows to kill this 'boy'.
Well, that's unlikely now, isn't it.
Stuff I Liked About This Episode
Emma's eye make-up.
Cora's 'modern' look. Seriously, check out the lovely wavy hair.
FINALLY seeing what August was hiding inside the box. Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode
If Mr. Gold can magically fix Dr. Frankenstein's severed arm, why can't he fix his limp?
How I misspelled Baelfire's name in every previous recap.
