Monday, 4 March 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 15, “The Queen Is Dead” or better title, “Or Something Like That."

A young Snow White approaches her mother, the Queen, super excited about her upcoming royal birthday. The Queen promises to give her a gift that was once her grandmother's and will now be passed down to her.

When Snow White and the Queen enter her room they catch one of the servants trying on a tiara.
It's Mrs. Padmore from Downton! Hi Mrs. Padmore!

But the Queen insists on calling her Johanna.

Snow White chastises Johanna, but the Queen Mother steps in and demands that Snow apologize. Then there's a long speech about how she has to rule the kingdom with kindness and goodness in her heart...or something like that.

Suddenly the Queen Mother collapses and Johanna runs to fetch Carson.

Mary Margaret and David argue over the fact that she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, mumbling something about a curse.

OMG! That again! I'm so sick of everyone blaming the curse.

There's a present left anonymously for Mary Margaret, and it's the tiara. The card is signed from Johanna.

When David arrives at the Sheriff's station he finds Schmexy waiting for him!!

Just kidding.

Hook is there instead. He easily knocks David out—he's so manly he only needs one hand, and steals his set of keys. Hook searches the office like a madman, unlocking every cabinet.

Actually he opens one drawer and finds exactly what he wants—his hook.

Mary Margaret finds Johanna gardening in front of her home. Johanna explains how she saw the tiara in Mr. Gold's shop and just had to get it for her birthday. They talk about flowers and how Snow White was named after a flower that bloomed even in the harshest weather, because she was born during a snow storm...or something like that.

The both hear something and Mary Margaret takes off into the woods. She spies Cora and the Mayor digging in random spots, in search of Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. The Mayor is frustrated because Hook's map is magical and only he can read it properly.

Cora eases the frustration and explains that her magic will fix the map. It will only take some more time, but it will be worth it when they can use the dagger to make The Dark One kill anyone they want.

Dear ABC,

Isn't it convenient they went over their diabolical plan AGAIN, right at the exact moment Mary Margaret stumbled upon them?

Mary Margaret runs speedy quick to the Sheriff's office just as David starts to wake up. She explains the two most evil and powerful woman in the village are looking for the most powerful and evil weapon.

This is their plan; Mary Margaret is going to convince the Mayor NOT to trust her mother.


Back in New York, Henry starts bonding with his dad, Neil while Emma and Mr. Gold lurk close behind feeling like a couple of lost causes.

Mr. Gold gives us his quote of the show, “The people who are the closest to us, are the ones capable of hurting us the most.”

So true. Especially if the one who is closest to you keeps giving you nuggies.

Mr. Gold keeps nettling Emma to convince Neil to return back to Storybrooke. She gives him a line about trying to protect Henry. Mr. Gold calls her out and says she's still in love with Neil.

Mary Margaret tricks the Mayor into visiting her at Granny's pub/laundromat/diner under the guise of the latest news about Henry. Mary Margaret confronts her about her forest activities with dear ole' mom, and tries to convince her that Cora doesn't care about helping her get custody of Henry.

The Mayor isn't buying it. She throws out a snide remark about mother's who die.


Little Snow White stays at her mother's bedside and suggests her birthday ball should be cancelled until her mother is feeling better. The palace doctor exchanges glances with Johanna and Snow White picks up that things aren't looking that good.

She takes Johanna aside and begs her for help. Johanna whispers that since the doctor is clueless that maybe this would be a good time to consult the Queen's very secret, very mysterious magical consultant.

Apparently there's a fairy that only grants wishes to those who are true of heart...or something like that.

Cleavage warning.

Emma casually brings up Storybrooke to Neil. He refuses to return, but then confesses he has something to tell her.

Henry bursts between them, spoiling the moment. He and Neil go up to his apartment to get his camera for there latest New York tourist activity, while Emma and Mr. Gold wait downstairs.

Suddenly, without any warning, like totally by surprise, Hook jumps out from nowhere and attacks Mr. Gold, piercing his heart with his hook, his enchanted hook.

Dear ABC,

If Hook gets Mr. Gold's enchanted heart, then he controls him...right? Why didn't Cora do this instead of digging up the whole forest?

But before he can rip out his heart, Emma knocks Hook out with a trashcan.

Neil races into the scene! He looks at the unconscious pirate with disgust, remembering when his Mother ran away with Hook. The sight of Mr. Gold dying warms Neil's own heart and he takes his Papa back up to his apartment for some first aid.

After Emma locks up Hook in the utility closet, she finds Neil hovering over Mr. Gold, pressing a bandage to his chest and talking craziness about hospitals and emergency departments.

But Mr. Gold puts the kibosh on that plan, since Hook's hook (it sounds funny but it's true) was covered in poison and the antidote is only available in Fairy Tale Land.

How will they get back?

Emma mentions Hook's map and figures he sailed to Storybrooke. Neil coughs up to volunteer as captain and sail his Papa back for the cure.

Wow, that was easy.

David and Mary Margaret rush to the Head Nun's house (aka Blue Fairy) and beg for her to use her magic to find the dagger before Cora gets her hands on it. Mary Margaret says, “Please Mother Superior, you're our only hope.”

Dear ABC,

Why does that line sound familiar?


Little Snow White goes into the woods in search of the Blue Fairy. She finds her without too much effort but is upset when the Blue Fairy, in all her over the top Las Vegas cleavage, tells her that fairy magic is the most pure of magic and using it to extend a life would darken it...or something like that.


But the Blue Fairy lets it slip that there is a way to help using a magic that is dire for fairies to use and she makes the little princess promise NOT to tell anyone.

Remember the last time someone trusted little Snow White with a secret?

The Blue Fairy gives Snow White a candle infused with magic. But all magic comes with a price; in order for the Queen to live, someone else must give up theirs, and it's up to Snow White to decide.

Yikes! She's like twelve.

Snow White realizes the Queen wouldn't be too keen on this, and she refuses the candle.

Okay, that was a waste.
Emma gets a text from David. She tells Mr. Gold he has to tell her where he's hidden the dagger so they can get it first before Cora. He refuses, but then she plays the, 'you better start trusting your family,' card.

Mother Superior can't get into Mr. Gold's shop, her magic is too pure and weak...or something like that.

Mary Margaret asks her to use dark magic and give her a 'wink-wink-nudge-nudge.' But the Blue Fairy has no clue what she's talking about. Before this conversation can continue, David's phone rings. It's Emma! And she knows where the dagger is.

Little Snow White rushes to her mother's bedside and confesses about her foray into forest and her unwillingness to kill someone else in order to save her mother's life.

The Queen says she's proud of Snow White and that as long as she holds the spirit of goodness in her heart, she will always be with her. Then she takes her last breath as the violins play and the tears flow.

David and Mary Margaret find the dagger hidden behind the town clock. Cora and the Mayor appear in a plume of purple smoke. Before Mary Margaret can say, “Ha! Good always beats evil,” Cora snaps her fingers and a very confused Johanna is summoned. The Mayor does the chest punch trick and turns to Mary Margaret with Johanna's enchanted heart in her fist.

Quick! Ring for Carson!!!

Once again, there is a choice of one life over another.

Johanna puts the tiara on little Snow White, all dressed in black. She tells her to buck up and be the leader the Queen always wanted her to grow into.

Where the heck is the King during all this?

Little Snow White gives her mother a final good-bye. After the funeral, the Blue Fairy flies into the empty room. In a swirl of purple smoke, she turns into Cora.

Cora saunters up to the tomb and explains to the Queen's corpse (and us) that she poisoned her on purpose and tried to trick Snow White into using black magic. However, she will not give up and promises to turn Snow White's good soul into a dark one.

Mary Margaret begs for Johanna's life. Cora says one sentence about the Queen wanting her to be good. Mary Margaret uses her inner Scooby-Doo and figures out it was Cora who pretended to be the Blue Fairy, and it was Cora who poisoned her mother.

Cora smiles with a shrug and says it was all done so that Regina could be Queen. This is news to the Mayor, but she keeps her cool and demands the dagger.

David whispers, “No, Mary Margaret we can still win.”

Why doesn't she just throw the dagger at Cora's eyeball?

Mary Margaret drops the dagger. The Mayor gives Johanna a heart transplant and she runs to Mary Margaret's arms. Cora scoops up the dagger, then with a whip of her wand, sends Johanna through the clock window to her death on the pavement below.

Way to go Mary Margaret.

Cora and the Mayor return to her house where it's the Mayor's turn to impersonate Scooby-Doo. She monologues about how her mother orchestrated the meeting of Snow White on the runaway horse knowing that the King would be lonely and looking for a new wife.

Then she asks what they'll do about Henry once Mary Margaret blabs about the nasty business with Johanna. But Cora is cooler than the Grinch as she caresses the dagger, “Don't worry my dear,” she says. “My interests are in line with yours. The others will soon be an unfortunate memory and Henry will be yours.”

Neil and Emma hustle down the sidewalk. He's about to hot wire a car for their road trip back to Storybrooke when a beautiful woman rushes up and hugs him, acting all concerned since he told her he had to leave town quickly.

That's his big secret? He has a girlfriend!

Emma looks awkward and crumbles when Neil introduces her to his fiance.

That's his big secret? He has a fiance!

Mary Margaret and David stand over Johanna's grave (wow that was fast!) and do some deep soul searching. Good versus evil...blah, blah, blah.

Mary Margaret has had enough, “No more lives wasted. No more hearts broken!”

Um...okay. Got a plan?

David interrupts her pep talk with news about the nasty dagger and making sure they get it back before Mr. Gold returns to Storybrooke. Then Mary Margaret vows to kill Cora...or something like that.

Game on.

Stuff I Liked

1. Mary Margaret's various tam and big scarf combos. Also the plaid pea coat in the last scene was super sweet.

2. A lot of stuff happened.

3. Mrs. Padmore!

Stuff I Didn't Like

1. Everyone figured everything out faster than a mind reader.

2. Mrs. Padmore died.

3. The Sheriff didn't return.

Who is going to die next? And where the heck is Rapunzel?


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