Monday, 4 March 2013

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 9, "The Women Tell All"

Or Better Title, "The Women All Cry."

Each of the past contestants sit in front of a live studio audience to finish the fights they started on the show. One by one the girls sit with the Host to 'vent' their feelings.

It's Tierra time! She tell us she's now engaged and has an obnoxiously huge diamond.

*cough* fake *cough*

Something seems to be missing though...oh right, she forgot her sparkle at home. Here's her best crazy quote of the night to one of the many girls who still hate her, “I'm not calling you a liar, I'm saying that you lied.”

Dear Tierra,

This is a prime time family show, keep that eyebrow under control!

Love ABC


The Host brings Sarah up to the stage where she has to watch her last farewell on the huge monitor. That was such an awkward dumping scene. She barely gets three seconds into her montage before the tears started. So she's crying on tape, and she's crying on stage.

She explains being let go by Sean was like him saying, “You're great, but you're not good enough for me.”

Dear Sarah,

We prefer the term, 'rose ceremony'.

Love ABC

Desiree is up next. And we're treated to even MORE past video shots of them making out. How do the other girls feel about having to watch this? Can you say, 'salt in the wound?'

Desiree cries on stage as she watches herself cry in the limo. But she pulls it together and tells the Host, “I didn't expect to fall for Sean, so that was a huge surprise. Next time I won't let my thoughts get the best of me.”

Dear Desiree,

I can understand how your thoughts would confuse you, they confuse me, too. Also, you signed up for a show where the guy might propose at the end.

Love ABC

AshLee arrives with her new blond extensions. Again the other girls are treated to shots of AshLee making out with Sean. Then finally the crushing good bye scene. She confidently says, “Okay this guy doesn't want me, I have to move on.”

Dear AshLee,

Moving on means not showing up for 'The Women Tell All' show.

Love ABC

Sean is brought out to the stage and the audience of women scream like he's Sheriff Graham. Sensing they need some conflict to make things interesting, The Host invites AshLee to join them. Sean gives her a warm hug and compliments her on her hair, which secretly means, “You're hotter than I remember.”

Awesome hair is the best revenge.

Sean tells her she was always the front runner for him, except he needed someone who could create a family with lots of laughing. And sadly, AshLee doesn't make him laugh enough.

AshLee confronts him about all the future talk they did the night before the rose ceremony. He replies, “The only way you'll understand if you're in the same situation.”

Then she drops a bombshell that he told her he had 'nothing going on' with the other two girls. There's lots of oohs from the audience. Sean turns fire engine red and denies EVER saying that to her. 

Dear Sean,

Man up, dude.

Love ABC

We're treated to some off camera dialogue between AshLee and Sean. He still denies what he said, but there is definitely some chemistry still there.

We are forced to watch the stupid blooper reel. My favorite was when Sean couldn't open the bottle of wine and AshLee had to take it from him and do it herself.

You'd think with the amount of wine consumed during the show, he'd be able to do it with his teeth.

At this point I stopped watching, sorry. The Host was promising more footage of Sean kissing the last two while he teases us with details that he's maybe engaged and definitely thinking about falling in love. Definitely.


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