Once Upon A Time, Episode 18, The Stable Boy or Never Trust The Cute Little Kid

The Mayor, not exactly as shown
photo credit, quittingadderall.com

The episode opens with the Mayor kissing a ring like Gollum in Lord Of The Rings. Mr. Gold walks in, startling her. She pushes the ring away, pretending they were just talking and not making out.

He asks her for a favor. Remember the florist he beat with a cane? It's too long to explain, just click here. In return, Mr. Gold propositions a scheme to frame Mary Margaret, and they discuss making Catherine disappear.

Riding horseback and wearing a lovely turquoise colored jacket is the Evil Queen. Her father laughs and claps as she jumps off to hug him. Hmm? What happened to make Regina give up the colorful wardrobe?

Enter Barbara Hershey, aka, the crazy mother with magical powers. Regina tries to stand up to her constant insults but she is no match for her mother's cutting tongue and cruel spells. Henry, the doomed Daddy, stands by uselessly, so Regina runs off to the stable...and into the stable boy's arms. His name is Daniel, and he looks an awful lot like David Bowie.

Stable Boy
photo credit, tvline.com

David Bowie
photo credit, tiffanyblogspot.com

Coincidence? Of course not! David Bowie is everywhere.










Emma pulls her hair into the longest ponytail in history and is cornered by David. He begs her to let him see Mary Margaret. Emma tells him his words of encouragement are the last thing Mary Margaret needs, and only one thing can help her now—a miracle. Amen to that, sister.

Mary Margaret wakes up in her cell and finds the Mayor staring back at her. Emma hasn't made it into work yet, and since no one guards the jail, like at all, anyone can walk in. The Mayor tries to convince her to confess to Catherine's murder since it would be easier on everyone. And I don't even know why the heck this scene was put in. *rubs temples*

Regina-the-colorful secretly meets Daniel, but warns him that she can't miss her tea time. I didn't know she played golf.

Barbara Hershey playing Darth Vader
photo credit, onceuponatimeabc.com

Obviously, Mommy Dearest would flip if she knew about their romance. Daniel tries to convince her their love is a powerful magic that not even her mother could defeat. Regina takes great comfort in his words and calms down. He's very stable...that stable boy.

A scream breaks up their tender moment. A girl on a horseback rides out of control through the valley. Regina goes 911 and takes off on her own horse, and saves the little girl's life. She says her name is Snow White. *cue the gasp* 

Mr. Gold explains to Mary Margaret a pre-trial session with the DA may be her best chance. He says her character as an elementary school teacher, and her willingness to cooperate, will do more to convince the jury then any kind of evidence. *sigh*



Mr. Glass shows up with a vase of tulips for Emma. They meet in her office and he tells her his super investigation skills have found nothing. So, why did he show up?

The DA arrives with the Mayor. Wow, things happen fast around Storybrooke! But Mr. Gold soon realizes the interview wasn't the smartest idea as the DA manages to get Mary Margaret so upset that she admits she had wanted Catherine out of the way. Oops.

But then again, so did I. She brought nothing to the story. Does that make me a suspect too?

Regina is paid a visit by the King (Little Snow's dad), and Barbara Hershey couldn't be happier. He comes to say thank you, then mentions his dead wife, and that no one he has ever courted has shown an interest in his daughter. *awkward*

To Regina's shock, he then proposes. But before she can say she already plans to runaway with a stable boy who looks like David Bowie, that evil Barbara Hershey accepts on her behalf.

Regina runs to the stable and proposes to Daniel, telling him they must leave right away. He says he wants to do things the proper way.

Who cares! The mother is a witch, just get on the horse and go!

Luckily, he happens to have a ring already tucked away in the saddle. Oh my goodness folks, it's the same ring the Mayor was making out with in the beginning. “Here,” he says, and places it on her finger.

I guess that's the proper way to get married—Martha Stewart would have a fit.

Little Snow walks in on them. Crying, she runs away to tell Daddy that her new Mommy comes with a boyfriend. Regina catches up and tries to explain that she will not be her new mother. And here comes the line about true love and how it's so awesome and magical, and...oh yeah, the most powerful magic of all.

Little Snow smiles and gives her blessing on the marriage to the stable boy. I have to say, Little Snow is quite articulate for a kid. Shouldn't there be a temper tantrum or something?

Regina tells her it's very important to keep it a secret and she must never tell anyone, especially her Mother. Did we all hear that? Tell no one, especially her MOTHER.

Never trust a little kid, no matter how cute.
photo credit, extratorrent.com

Little Snow promises to keep the secret because she has bonded so well with Regina. Also, she only wants the happiness of others, and nothing for herself.
Yup, typical behavior for a pre-teen princess.

Emma reads Henry's storybook by the dock. August shows up and starts talking about writer's block. He says that the more he writes, the more his perspective changes. He gives her the idea to approach the investigation into Catherine's death differently. She decides to visit the scene of the crime, and accepts a ride on August's motorcycle to Troll/Toll Bridge. August has a weird, almost painful reaction to the area. I'm guessing he's part troll or something.

Emma turns over one rock and finds a piece of a shovel that must have broken off when the person framing Mary Margaret buried the heart. Of course. *rolls eyes* Maybe Emma is part wolf like Ruby, with those convenient tracking skills?

With Henry's help on the walkie talkie, Emma and August, break into the Mayor's shed. And just like at the beach, within seconds she finds what she's looking for—a broken shovel.

Little Snow is cornered by Barbara Hershey. She sweetly asks the little girl why her daughter has pulled away from her.

Seriously? She's a kid.

Then she gives a speech about how mothers and daughters should never be separated from each other. This strikes a chord with Little Snow whose mother died years ago. She tears up and says Regina shouldn't marry her father, the King, but her true love, Daniel. And that no one should ever lose their mother. I have to admit, the kid seemed super creepy when she said this.

Emma hands the Mayor a search warrant for her shed. She doesn't even try to fake a search, but heads straight for the shovel. The perfect, brand new, in no way broken, shovel.

Emma accuses August of helping the Mayor. He begins his usual ambiguous talk about her lack of faith and that he never lies. She says that's exactly what a liar would say. *SNAP*

The Mayor visits the jail and promises to make Mary Margaret pay for all the lives she's destroyed. She goes on and on again about how she took away the thing she loved the most. *holds head*

We've heard this from the very first episode. She's said this speech so many times I dubbed it 'The Regina Monologues'.

Regina and Daniel prepare to leave. Finally! Barbara Hershey shows up and does her best impersonation of Mrs. White from Carrie. Regina pleads her case about love and magic and all that stuff. But her mother will hear none of it, telling Regina, and us, that she's had to make too many deals to get them out of poverty (what is it with people in fairytale land making deals? It never turns out well!)

Barbara Hershey, demented with visions of a palace in her daughter's future, pulls out Daniel's heart and then crushes it to dust. Love is a weakness, she says to Regina, it's just an illusion, it fades and you're left with nothing—but power stays (so does herpes, but that's another story).

Regina stands blank faced as she's being fitted for her wedding dress. Little Snow skips in and tells her how beautiful she looks for her marriage to Daniel. Unaware of Regina's building nausea, Little Snow tells her she's so lucky to have a wonderful mother who would do anything for her happiness.

Regina realizes that Little Snow told her mother about Daniel. She regains her composure quickly and enlightens Little Snow that she's marrying her father, the King. She lies saying Daniel was only an infatuation and that he runaway without her.

She brings Little Snow into a hug and talks about being a family. You can actually see the wheels turning to begin her life long plan of revenge. Regina leaves the room mumbling she should have let her die on that horse.

Emma confronts Mr. Gold that his plan for the meeting with the DA didn't go so great. He tells her not to worry and gives her some line about magic. Emma's had enough talk about magic and throws the vase of tulips against the wall...and finds a bug. Not the kind with legs and eight billion eyeballs, but the listening device kind.

She meets up with August and tells him about Mr. Glass' trickery. Don't beat yourself up, he consoles, it's hard to see what's right in front of us. Like a guy who talks a lot but never really says anything?

Ruby comes into the street screaming about somebody in the alley. Hey, she's wearing pants!

Emma runs around the corner and sees a body. She turns them over and finds Catherine—alive.

*Mind explodes*

They better not pull the identical twin story again. Also, I'm guessing Barbara Hershey is the elephant thing that passes for the Queen of Hearts. Anyone else?