Tuesday, 26 June 2012

The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 7 "Things That Make You Go Hmm"

Emily in Prague, not exactly
photo credit, barbiefantasies.com
Say hello to Prague! Emily uses the historic backdrop of this charming city to take Arie for another evening stroll hoping to find another wall to kiss against. But she pouts perfectly glossed lips at him saying she knows what he did ten years ago and she's not happy about it. Hmm...

Relax. The big scandal is that Arie dated one of the shows producers a decade ago. And once Emily did the math and realized ten years is longer than Ricki has been alive, she's okay with it and open mouth kisses Arie, even without a wall.

Meanwhile, back at the house, the fellas compare hair gel and talk about how much they hate Arie since he has his mouth parts all over their future wife.

The next date is with John. And quite frankly I only learnt this guy's name the last episode. I'm predicting a street full of walls isn't going to move this date along. They get to have dinner in their own private castle. Does Emily like castles? No. She's friggin' cold and is always under a blanket. They settle into love seat overflowing with pillows as John relates stories about his evil ex-girlfriend.

Dear fellas,

As tempting as it may be, leave the mud slinging for the county fair. Honestly, you sound like a cry baby. And Emily is looking for a hero, not a zero.


Your Aunt Bethany

I really like Emily's earrings for this date. Actually I like most of her jewelry. Remember that necklace that was three strands of shells or white stones?
photo credit, ca.shine.yahoo.com

Yeah, very nice. And the gold necklace from the beach episode? A favorite of mine too. And guess what? They're available for other people as well from Towne & Reese. I'm guessing Emily didn't have to pay for any of her jewelry. Hmm...

After John's finished trashing his ex, he tells Emily that he could really fall in love with her, and that he wants her to meet his parents. Emily said she feels sad for him. Hmm...

They have a quick kiss that wouldn't even get a rating from Disney.

Sean, SDD (Single Dad Doug), and Freaky wolf-eye Chris are picked to go on the last group date. Sean decides to pull an Arie and wanders the city looking for Emily by running up and down various cobbled streets of Prague.

Great plan! I'm sure this will turn out well. He says if he doesn't find her he'll be devastated. If he actually finds her it will be a miracle, except that the producers and camera men point him in the right direction.

Emily says he sudden appearance with camera men is such a surprise. She's excited to see him and takes him to a restaurant. Emily likes to be pursued—that's what she said to Doug last episode, remember?

They politely kiss like it's High School Musical, but later on the walk home, they find a wall and things turn PG 13. So, good for Sean...I guess.

The last group date consists of Sean, Chris and SDD. Right away Chris begins to whine about the lack of room in the carriage. Emily gives the boys a history lesson and SDD can't stop talking about how cool the castle is. He's very sweet and mentions how much his son would enjoy this trip.

Psst! Hey, Doug. If you're the next bachelor, you can take great vacations...and your son can go too!

SDD and Emily take their umbrellas for a walk in the rain and she remarks how she's hoping Doug will open up to her—preferably against a wall during a late night stroll.

But even though Doug gives in and kisses her, it's not enough for Emily, and she takes him on the good-bye stroll. And like all the other fellas before him, Doug is shocked and heart broken. Really? Give it a day or two, you'll be okay.

At the castle, Chris and Sean make the two points of an awkward triangle. Emily gives the boys each a key, and Sean is holding the one that opens the Chamber of Secrets, sorry, Chamber of Snuggles. The corny music starts and they begin to make out. Meanwhile, Chris is whining upstairs that he's all by himself. And he'll have to wait because Sean and Emily also make out in the stairwell. But that's to be expected because they were surrounded by walls and couldn't help themselves.

I totally love the bracelets she has on. Which button do I click to buy these? Please let me know.

Chris finally gets some alone time with Emily. He uses this time to complain. Chris isn't good at whining, I'm not sure what he's good at. Emily thanks him for being such a good sport and someone in the room begins to play the piano. And we know what happens when music begins, right? That's right! They kiss.

Emily meets with both guys and gives the date rose to Sean. Chris is fuming behind his freaky wolf eyes, already planning his whiny speech for the boys at home.

Jef with one 'f' gets the last solo date. Emily picks him up, and I have to say, her earrings totally rock. They walk the streets of Prague and spend some giggly time in a marionette shop. How do you walk in stiletto boots on cobblestones? Ask Emily, she knows.

Jef and Emily use their puppets to recreate every time they've spent together—it takes about three seconds. Emily's skin is smoother than the puppets, seriously, there are NO LINES...like at all. Their puppets kiss, and then they kiss. And then I look at my watch and wish the rest of the show could be done in fast forward with puppets.

Jef said he's in that happy place where he's falling for a girl and the girl is falling for him, and when they make out, cameras are there...yeah, just a normal guy and a girl. Jef talks about his family and tells Emily that his parents are committed to 'something else' but she'll meet his siblings if she wants. Hmm...

The final rose ceremony has finally arrived. Chris is starting to have a melt down—if he were a puppet, his strings would all be tangled up. Emily meets with The Host in a Vanna White ensemble and she says a cocktail party is useless because she already knows exactly what she wants to do tonight.

Chris doesn't take this news well, especially since John keeps saying he feels he knocked his date out of the park. Really? He didn't even get to first base.

Emily arrives and thanks the fellas for being so open and honest with her this week so that she can make this decision without any worries. It comes down to John and Chris and someone should call 911 before Chris explodes.

Chris asks for alone time with Emily, thinking he's salvaging any last hope he might have. But if anything, his slobbering confession only solidifies her decision to send him home. Emily is so sweet and composed, she thanks him for willing to put himself out there for her, and she's so grateful for that.

But what happens next shocks even me, and believe me, I've seen it all. She gives the last rose to Christ, and I can only guess it's because he's the wild card the producers like to keep around.

John, like all the others, is completely shocked. Please don't cry John. Please don't cry. Be strong. Be the one to NOT cry. He makes it to the car and finished his monologue without shedding a tear.

John, a real guy
photo credit, supermansite.com
Hooray! We've found a man. Congratulations, John, you rock.

Next week, the last four guys get to take Emily back home to meet their families. Yikes!


Shar-Eliz said...

I like your typo "She gives the last rose to Christ" ... Because really, isn't he the only one good enough for the perfect Emily?????

BR Myers said...

Oops. ;)

Charlie N. Holmberg said...

She gave the last rose to Christ?? How religious of her... ;)

I don't follow the show, but the fact that one of the guys dated a producer is hilarious to me.

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