Thursday, 7 June 2012

Top Five Ways To Pretend You're At Book Expo America

Okay, first of all BEA should stand for Books, Editors and Agents. Everyone at BEA is either one of those things, or wants to be one of those things. Yes, some people want to be their favorite book *stares back* you know who you are.
Dude, where's the bathroom?
photo credit,
And if you're like me, this week on twitter has been a total jealousy-fest. Seriously, it's free books, shmoozing, and Alex Pettyfer—sorry I was checking to see if you're still reading. Even without Alex BEA is pretty amazing...or at least I imagine.

I'm not one to dwell on the negative uglies that invade my otherwise content day to day philosophy, so I've developed some coping strategies to help me get through the rest of the week. And it's been so successful I'd like to share them with you. Here are the top five ways to pretend you're at BEA.

1. Use your drivers license to make your own lanyard with shoelaces and scotch tape. This must be worn ALL week, even in the shower.

2. Take a big tote bag to the library, fill it up with hardcovers, then invite all the librarians out for martinis.

3. Go to the biggest bookstore, make a fort with all the pretty new releases, and then take pictures with your iPhone.

photo credit,

4. With one of your favorite books under your arm, wait in line at the DMV, then ask the teller to sign Veronica Roth's name on the inside cover.

5. Stand all day in really cute but really uncomfortable shoes, discussing the pros and cons of e-books while complaining how dehydrated you are. (too many martinis)

And because I'm so bad at math, here's a bonus...

Repeat phrases like, "OMG, I met you on twitter!"  "I totally love your cover." "Can I borrow a pen?" "Her sweater set rocks!"

Do you have any other ideas for surviving BEA week as an outsider?


Leigh Ann said...


I'll be searching for YouTube videos of authors and pretending I'm having lunch with them. NBD.

Jo Day said...

Love it!
No 2 in particular made me giggle :)

Anonymous said...

Read some of the tweets from the self-absorbed there. It'll make you want to take another shower and then channel your creative energies into more artistically-ethical persuits, like mergers/acquisitions banking.

BR Myers said...

Excellent idea, Leigh Ann. *rushes off to youtube*

BR Myers said...

Librarians love to drink, bring a credit card.

Unknown said...

Ha ha! ^_^

Melinda Chapman said...

LMAO! :)

Melinda Chapman said...

Hehehe - great ideas! Who wouldn't want an archway of books like that in their store. I wonder how many substantive editors tried to test it's structure.

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