Tuesday, 31 July 2012

New Summer Olympic Events Just For Canadians

My sister and I waiting for the flame to go by.
November, 2009. Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm an Olympicoholic.

Two years ago, when the flame came through Halifax, I cheered on the side of the road as the runner went past. And I cried.

Today, we get twenty-four hour coverage. And that's fine by me because I'll watch anything at anytime.

I cry when they show the parents in the stands. I cry when they focus on an athlete, telling how he grew up in poverty, but through sport rose above his circumstance to become a gold medallist.

Maybe it's the pageantry, or the heart pounding race for the finish line, or maybe I just like looking at the awesome bodies on the male divers.

Whatever the reason, I can't stop watching.

However, the Summer Games, for a Canadian, are a little harder to watch than the Winter Games, where we usually get a few gold medals—being surrounded by snow all the time, it's natural to excel at bobsled.

So, as an Olympicoholic, and proud Canadian, I've come up with some 'Summer Events' Canadians would kick butt in.

1. The Barbecue Assembly. You may laugh, but have you ever tried to put one of these monsters together? Only a Canadian with a belly full of beer can pull this off in less than an hour.

2. Being Nice. If you're in a crowded room, the person squeezing through the bodies saying, "Sorry...excuse me", a hundred times, is a Canadian.

3Golf Ball Retrieval. Per capita more Canadians golf than any other country. That results in a ton of little white balls lost in the forest. And we always get our balls.

4. Making Out. According to a recent survey, Canadians are getting up close and personal on a more regular basis than any other nation on the planet.

5. Black Bear Wrestling. Especially if they've stolen our golf ball.

Enjoy the Olympics, my friends!

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Laurie Wetzel said...

Very funny and true!
P.S. #2 also works for Minnesota which is basically Southern Canada (but don't tell anyone I said that).

BR Myers said...

No prob. You're in the club. I'll teach you the secret handshake.

Laila N Mysis said...

AHAHAHA x) You Canadians are so talented. If you ever have time to teach me how to wrestle a black bear, I'm all ears... and fists... and whatever else that's required ^^

BR Myers said...

Thanks Laila, you're on the team!

Mere Joyce said...

Bahaha, brilliant. Black bear wrestling *should* be an Olympic sport!

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