Monday, 22 July 2013

Top Five Survival Tips THE CONJURING Taught Me

I love scary movies (even the stomach twisting moments when everything is calm, but we know the killer is behind the door ready to jump out).

I saw THE CONJURING over the weekend and I'm glad to say I'll be having traumatic flashbacks for sometime—my washer and dryer are in the dark spooky part of the basement.

Seriously, the freaky doll in the very beginning was enough to make me avoid Toys R Us for a long, long time.

However, I'm not worried if my house does become infested with demonic souls from hell, I'll have plenty of time to pack my bags and head for the Vatican because THE CONJURING not only entertained me to the brink of incontinence, but it also taught me some very valuable tips on surviving a haunted house.

Top five survival tips I learned from THE CONJURING:

#1. If the family dog refuses to enter the house...move out.

#2. If you bought the huge farm house at a bank auction dirt cheep because none of the locals would bid...move out.

#3. If you discover a boarded up entrance to a secret basement...move out.

#4. If the youngest sibling starts talking to an imaginary friend who knows all kinds of hiding places in the house...move out.

#5. If invisible hands push you down stairs, break all your picture frames, and leave unexplained bruises on you at night...move out.

BONUS! If the creepy old furniture starts moving around on its own...move out.

What have scary movies taught you?


Jane Lebak said...

Not a scary movie, unfortunately, but about the picture frames breaking... A friend of mine was having a really difficult time, so I started praying for her and also asked some other friends to pray for her.

Begin the nightmares. Like five of those in a row. Eventually I prayed that my guardian angel would have the authority to get rid of the nightmares, and they stopped.

The next morning, "they" began breaking things. My iPod ended up with a huge thumb-shaped black imprint in the middle. My dead daughter's picture frame cracked. Mugs shattered. That was FREAKY.

We did finish up the novena, btw. I have no idea why something wanted us to stop that badly, but I figured whatever we were doing must have been the right thing.

#2 also hits close to home. After my daughter died, I'm pretty sure my son could hear her for a little while. But nothing happened in connection with her that was frightening.

Laila N Mysis said...

Sage advice, indeed. I have one. It's rather general, but I think ought to be said:

When you hear a shifty sound and you're all alone and it's dark, DO NOT APPROACH AND INVESTIGATE. RUN. RUN VERY FAST IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.

Maybe even move out ;)

Unknown said...

LOL I watched the movie last night and those points you mentioned were exactly what was going through my head.

I'd hijack the next flight off the planet if my house was haunted.

I'd even petition the government to nuke my whole area.

Stacy Willows said...

We were watching the Conjuring in class. It's not quite as scary when you're surrounded by a lot of people whispering, but that doll SCARED me. So did the flash of Rory. Anyways, actually VISIT and INVESTIGATE the house before moving in. They couldn't have missed all of that if they had visited. And they have to actually look into the house's history. Would you move into a house that has at least four deaths attributed to it? Two of which were suicides, one of an alleged witch? I don't think so.

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