Tuesday, 16 July 2013

The Bachelorette, Season 9, Episode 8 "Penguins, Promise Rings, and Popped Vertebrae"

The four remaining dudes; Zak, Drew, Brooks, and Chris, take Des to meet their families.

Zak is up first. He tells us he has a crazy family, even crazier than him.

Oh dear. 
 He asks Des if she's nervous, but she isn't.

Hasn't he watched the show? She's the one who is in demand, not him.

Zak tells her this bizarre dream, and I wonder why this wasn't edited out since it made no sense and there wasn't any point. Before things get too weird (too late) Zak comes around the corner in his family's snow cone truck.

They go to an elementary school where Des gets to serve thirty screaming kids. Then Zak turns up dressed like a huge penguin.

This is getting tired.

Des is more optimistic and says she could serve snow cones to kids all day long.

That's good since it's the family business.

When they finally visit Zak's family, they scream more than the kids around the snow cone truck.

Sugar anyone?

Zak's mom, Maryann, takes Des aside. I'm waiting for the interrogation, but Maryann's eyes are twinkling and she talks about sparks and love.

Des and Zak's sister, Carly, have a giggle fest, but she tells us off camera that she's afraid of her brother getting hurt.

At least there's always the penguin suit.

The evening ends with Zak and his siblings singing a song for Des—actually written for her.

This is creepy. Can you say, “Take our brother please!”

Zak tells her that he loves her and gives her a ring that he bought in Atlantic City. The black suburban of love pulls up and it's time for Des to go.

Why? Because she has to meet her other boyfriend's families, silly!

Des travels to Arizona to meet Drew's crowd. There's a lot of kissing at first, then Drew explains all the family dynamics of step-parents and in-laws and Des starts to look worried.

Does this mean no song?

But things go more perfectly than the Arizona weather. Drew's Mom takes him aside and he confides that he's shared all their family history with her and she's totally cool with everything.

Of course his amazing abs help, plus he's the best kisser and has the best bod.


Drew's Dad thinks he and Des are a perfect match. Des wants to stay with his family FOREVER.

Zak who?

Drew makes it official and he tells Des he loves her and wants her to be his future.

PICK DREW! Sorry, just yelling at the TV.

Oh dear. The black suburban of love pulls up. Time for another family to charm.

Chris takes Des to his neighborhood baseball park. Chris is overjoyed when he discovers Des can catch and hit. Then they enjoy some time getting to second base.

Chris's family must have been spying on Zak's family because they squeal and jump in the air even higher. Chris's dad is a chiropractor with an office in the basement. He gives Des a back treatment. Between the cracks and snaps they talk about Chris.

His mom is hesitant and is concerned because his last girlfriend really broke his heart. Everyone is on egg shells, waiting to hear mom's judgment. And....it's an A+! Mom has been very stoic up until this moment, but now she can't stop crying.

Des does it again!

Oh my God! So many hearts are going to be crushed!!!


Brooks welcomes Des to Utah. She jumps into his arms like none of the other guys and their crying moms exist. He explains that they have a great relationship, but you know, she's also dating other guys.

Yeah, dude, that's the show.

They go canoeing and I check my e-mail. Brooks warns Des that his family is super excited to meet them. And he isn't lying, they swarm Des like a mob of school kids around a snow cone truck.

And everyone is wearing name tags.

Janice, Brooks' mom, interviews Des, but Des turns the tables and asks if she thinks Brooks is ready for marriage. When Brooks meets with his mom, there's a lot of ambiguity, but she sort of gives her blessing for Des to join their family. It seems everyone is on board except for maybe Brooks.

I don't get the fluffy happy feelings from him.

Des returns to her home in L.A. She has a meeting with her brother before the rose ceremony. She hasn't seen him since the Sean debacle.

Really? I thought he saved her.

He asks her who she loves the most, and she gives each guy nice compliments. He wants to meet them, but Des is hesitant since she doesn't realize he was absolutely right about Sean. She tells him she'll think about it.

YES! LET YOUR BROTHER MEET THEM. I bet he'd tell her straight up that Brooks isn't the one.

Before the rose ceremony, Des sits with the host. She admits that she loves Brooks, yet he hasn't reciprocated. Then I fast forward because I'm sick of hearing the same stuff.

Here's what we've all been waiting for:

Brooks gets the first rose.

Chris gets the second.

And the third rose goes to...Drew.

Zak is going back home to the snow cone truck alone. Des tells him that she doesn't feel as strongly and he is so great that he deserves to have someone love him as much. Then she gives back the ring.

*Cue the sad piano solo*

Zak does his best monologue hoping to get a chance to be the next bachelor.

I'd say he has a snow cone's chance in hell.


Cristina said...

no, not Drew!!!! she must pick Chris. Come on, they write poems together, and, and.. Drew, he's a little vanilla. There's no spark between them whatsoever. PICK CHRIS!!!!

can I say that If I had to spend more than 5 minutes with Zak I'd probably have to start taking some ritalin or something. but I did feel bad for him.

BR Myers said...

Yes, exactly! Why is that guy so hyper?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...