Monday, 12 May 2014

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, FINALE! "Snow Drifts; There's No Place Like Home"


Or better title "Oops"

Henry presents Emma with the classified ads for apartments. She looks uncomfortable since she's planning on going back to New York. David and Mary Margaret are elusive about naming their baby.

Robina enjoy some smoochie time. Now that she has her heart back, it's all good times for Regina. They talk about their previous lost loves and are super glad they've found each other. Robin Hood says after his wife, Marion died, he thought he'd never be happy again.

Regina spills the beans about Tinkerbell and his secret tattoo.

He says, “Maybe things only work out when they're supposed to, maybe it's all about timing.”

Ain't love grand.

Mr. Gold hides the dagger in his shop.

Sure, no one will look for it there.

Belle arrives shaky and nervous asking Mr. Gold to take the fake dagger back because she feels it's too powerful. He tells her never mind, it's safer with you...or something like that. Then they talk about their wedding and kiss.


Henry reads through the story book reminding all of us how Snow White and Charming met and fell in love—even though he was engaged to King Midas' daughter. Suddenly, Hook says one word and everyone is looking at Emma worried that she's going back to New York.

That was fast.

Henry looks out the window and sees the time travel vortex racing up into the sky.

New York forgotten.

Regina stares at Mr. Gold and knows he's behind this magic. They all run to the cell to check on Zalena because no one thought to stay with her. It's empty! David rewinds the security tapes in the Sheriff's office and they see Zalena curse herself and turn to dust.

How did Mr. Gold do that?

Hook and Emma argue in the forest about her staying in Storybrook. Emma says she doesn't feel like the fairy tales are real and nothing has ever felt like home for her. “Home is the place that you miss when you leave it.”

Hook pulls a sad face. Then they notice the time travel cyclone. They race to the barn. Emma falls to the edge. Hook tries to save her, but the pull is too strong. They both go in and end up back in the enchanted forest.

But when?

Emma sees a wanted poster for Show White.


Emma still has the story book. She figures that whatever you were thinking of when you enter the portal is the place or time you're sent.

How did she know this?

Emma comes up with the idea to pay a visit to Rumpelstiltskin. The Queen's guards fly past. Emma and Hook watch from behind the trees as the Evil Queen harasses a group of villagers; including Marco and Pinocchio. Emma wants to rush out and help a particular young woman who is being arrested, but Hook tells her she must not meddle with the past.

Hook takes her away and they steal some peasant garb for Emma. Garb that includes a low cut dress and cleavage.

Of course. It's fairy tale land. There's always cleavage in fairy tale land.

Prince Charming and Catherine journey by coach. Snow White prepares a fallen log to ambush the coach—just like the first time in Season One.

In fact it's some of the same footage.

Emma and Hook are once again watching from the sidelines. When Prince Charming gets out to investigate, Emma realizes she's about to witness her parents meeting for the first time. She spies Snow White up in a tree ready to ambush the guards.

But Emma puts her hand on a stick and ruins the whole thing. Distracted, Snow White falls from the tree, and Prince Charming gets back into the coach and keeps travelling with Catherine.


Snow White meets Blackbeard in a tavern and asks him to help her escape.

Emma and Hook approach Rumpelstiltskin's castle. He appears and starts to kill Hook. Emma intervenes and tells him she's from the future and proves it by saying she's the Savior who broke the curse he created to find his son.

*Takes deep breath*

He's convinced. They journey back to his castle where it's obvious Rumpelstiltskin and Hook have a past. Belle puts in an appearance before she whisks away to the library.


Emma uses the story book to convince Rumpelstiltskin he has to help her get Snow White and Prince Charming back together, but the pages are all blank.


No problem, Rumpelstiltskin says there's a ball at King Midas' palace. All Emma and Hook have to do is convince Snow White she doesn't have to escape with Blackbeard, but instead go to the ball to meet her true love.

Emma and Hook find the original Hook at a tavern playing poker. Emma has to keep the first Hook occupied while the other Hook finds Snow White and convinces her to go to the ball.

Emma pretends to get drunk with Hook #1 while Hook #2 makes a deal with Snow White on the Jolly Roger; if she steals the wedding ring at the ball he won't turn her in for ransom (holds up wanted poster) plus he'll give her safe passage to wherever she wants to go. Snow White buys it.

Hook #2 takes Emma to the Jolly Roger as Snow White passes them unaware. Emma plays cat and mouse with Hook #2 and Hook #1 eventually knocks himself out in order for Emma to escape his clutches.

Rumpelstiltskin magics an invitation for Emma and Hook to go to the ball.

Instant makeover.

Emma introduces them as Prince Charles and Princess Leia. He tells her she's a natural princess.

And natural princesses don't go to New York.

Hook teaches Emma how to waltz in another portion of the show I like to call, “Flirting time with Hook and Emma.”

Outside, Snow White uses a grappling hook to scale the walls.

Prince Charming and Catherine have no chemistry. She asks him to fetch her more comfortable shoes. The Evil Queen arrives 'cause she loves a good party.

Snow White ransacks Prince Charming's room and finds the ring. She's interrupted by Prince Charming. They scuffle. Snow White hits him and barely escapes, except she drops the ring.


He hangs out the window vowing to find her, but not in a 'I totally dig you and must know who you are so we can get married and make babies' kind of way.

Emma finds the ring and picks it up. Hook tells her to run after Snow White while he holds off the Queen's guards. One of the Queen's guards shows up and tires to shoot an arrow at the thief. Emma pushes him down, allowing her mother to live another day.

Emma runs back through the palace, but the Evil Queen and her guards stop her. Emma is dragged off as a prisoner with Prince Charming's ring in her grip.

Emma and Neal share a coffee while he breaks into an amusement park by picking the padlock. They hang out on the swings while Neal tries to explain his childhood. He tells her he can't go back home.

No kidding.

He says home used to be fun before his dad bad. “That's how you know it's your home,” he tells her. “When you leave it you miss it.”

Back in the past, Emma ends up in a cell next to the young woman from the village she'd tried to save. She breaks the news to Emma that they'll both be executed tomorrow.

Snow White walks through the forest and gets caught in Prince Charming's trap. “I'll always find you,” he says. They do the same banter as before. But she tells him she doesn't have the ring.
Hook arrives and tells Charming that he knows the girl who has the ring, but she's a prisoner of the Evil Queen.

Snow White knows that castle like the back of her hand 'cause, well she grew up there. They make a deal; she sneaks them into the castle and they promise her freedom.

As Snow White and Charming travel, she tells him about her history with the Evil Queen. Then she shows him her pixie dust that will help her squash the Evil Queen.

She goes on by herself when they get close enough and asks the men to stay behind and wait for a signal. Hook and Charming bond over a campfire. The dudes talk about love. Charming wants to marry for love, but he knows that's impossible with Catherine. Hook tries to impress Charming with his love for Emma. Out of the darkness Red shows up and tells them she's a friend of Snow White's.

Emma and the young woman talk about how horrible it is to miss your family. Emma looks at her ring and knows her mother would tell her not to give up hope. She sees the spoon on the floor, fashions a key, and picks the lock to her cell.

Red becomes a wolf and helps Hook and Charming slip in through the dungeon tunnels. They meet Emma and the young woman. Emma hands over the ring and they rush to meet Snow White. Hook worries that the girl Emma saved might mess up the future.

Hmm...probably not. *Rolls eyes*

Snow White has other plans. She sneaks into the Evil Queen's bedroom with a handful of dark pixie magic. The Evil Queen takes it away from her easily. Then they banter about Daniel and how his death is Snow White's fault.

Emma, Hook and the others see Snow White is about to be executed in the courtyard. The Evil Queen throws a fireball and Snow White goes up in flames.

What? Why doesn't Charming race out with his sword? Why doesn't Emma use her convenient magic that happens out of nowhere? Why doesn't Red turn into a wolf?

Anyway, they all stand there and watch.

Later, around another campfire, Hook tries to soothe Emma by reminiscing about his brother's death. Then Emma makes the startling discovery that she's still alive. So that means Mary Margaret must still be alive too!

Hook tries to come up with a plan, but a bug is driving him crazy. He's about to squash it when Charming runs out of the darkness telling him to stop. He reminds them that Snow White was carrying the pixie dust that could change any enemy into something that can be easily a bug!

The Blue Fairy arrives with her magical cleavage. She says, “Dark magic did this to her. Light magic can undo it.” And poof! Mary Margaret is back.

That's new. I was sure black magic could only be undone by black magic. Okay, whatever.

Emma is so excited! She hugs Snow White who looks super confused. Then Snow White goes to Red and they have a fabulous reunion that Emma is jealous of.

Oh, hold on. Home is what you miss. Emma misses her mom. Her mom is her home. Ten points for me!

It's the next day. The sun is up and there are still time warp problems. Hook reminds Emma that the young girl with them was supposed to die. The only way to keep the future safe is to take her with them back to Storybrooke.


She isn't buying their story and only wants to get back to her family. Emma knocks her out.


Charming informs them that Snow White pick pocketed his ring and he races off into the forest for her.

Emma and Hook follow, knowing that the Troll bridge is where Snow White used the pixie dust the first time, but since she already used it on herself, she's defenceless.

Time travel is hard on the head.

Snow White and Charming are taken by the Trolls. She's able to escape—just like last time. She turns around and sees Charming is about to get killed—just like last time. She shows up and threatens the trolls with pixie dust, but instead of last time, she's bluffing. But they buy it because they're trolls and they run away.

Emma and Hook watch from behind the trees (these two should have poison ivy by now) and watch as Snow White and Prince Charming start to fall in love—just like last time. In fact it's the same footage they used from Season One because Snow White is pre-pregnancy face.

Emma gets the story book and sees all the pages fill back in.

The Evil Queen finds out Snow White is still alive and is super mad.

Emma and Hook arrive at Rumpelstiltskin's castle...oh yeah and the girl they knocked out too. He tells them the spell to open another time portal can only be cast by someone who's gone through the portal. He throws them his amazing powerful wand that do any kind of magic and says they're out of luck unless one of them can wield magic.

Only when it's convenient, Rumpelstiltskin. Only when it's convenient.

He, on the other hand, has made himself a potion to help him forget all this nonsense. And he sends them to a place where they'll be safe and he'll never have to see them again.

Emma, Hook, and the unconscious girl whose identity will be the cliffhanger for this season, apparate to a large castle room full of curious objects. Hook plays with an urn and Emma freaks out because this is the place Rumpelstiltskin puts power stuff. Then they argue about her denying her magical heritage.

She says she never felt like she had a home and was always running. Then she finally admits that watching Snow White hug Red made her realize that her mother is her home. “Henry wasn't bringing me to Storybrook to break a curse, he was bringing me home.”

Hook is all smiley. The super amazing wand is glowing.

Emma makes the vortex with her convenient magic. Hook picks up the young woman and jumps through. Emma is about to go too but Rumpelstiltskin arrives and holds her back. She tells him he finds his son and that he forgives him. There's some back and forth and says he died saving everyone—he was a hero.

Rumpelstiltskin lets her go. Then he drinks the potion and instantly forgets.
Back at the barn, Emma and Hook brush off the dust. She races to Granny's pub/diner/laudromat and it's hugs all around. David calls everyone to attention and is ready to announce the baby's name...Neal.

Aw, shucks. Emma's little brother is named after her former lover.

She finds Hook outside at a table for two...under the twinkling lights...all alone. She questions him about how he managed to get a magic bean to cross over into her world and find her in New York. He told her traded the Jolly Roger.

“You traded your ship for me?” She inches closer. And then they kiss.

In the forest, Belle and Mr. Gold are married by Dr. Hopper.

Yeah, I thought it was weird too. What about the chick in the barn? Isn't anyone watching over her?

Mr. Gold and Belle talk about love. She says, “Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket.”

Robina and the little tyke walk to Granny's all smiles. The young woman from the village is awake and having coffee. Emma explains that Regina is no longer the Evil Queen.

But before they can be introduced Robin Hood stands up and calls out her name. “Marion! I thought you were dead!” Robin's son hug her and says, “Momma”


Regina turns to Emma with a massive lemon face. “You're just like your mother. You never think of the consequences.”

Here we go again.

The urn that Hook picked up in the mysterious cavern is stuck in the dirt in the barn. A blue fluid seeps out and swirls around the design. Slowly, a form takes shape. It's a woman with blond hair. She flicks her hand and freezes the ground.

Dear God. No. Seriously? That movie was so horrible. The hype was ridiculous.

Blah. Terrible ending.

What do you think of the cliffhanger this year?

Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.

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