Or better title "Beaten, Bruised, and Badass"
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We find Hook beaten up and sharing his jail time in hell with an anonymous cellmate who seems nondescript and not important at all, but as we all know, anonymous cell mates in this series always end up saving the day or revealing themselves to be a long lost heir to the throne or super wizard or something. So I'm guessing we'll see this chick again.
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Through the magic of magic, Hook knows that Emma and the others have come to rescue him. And he gives a big spiel to the anonymous cellmate how much he LURVS Emma.
I can't buy into this romance, guys. Just a few days ago, as the Dark One, he took pleasure in insulting her, her family, and threatening everyone she loved. But now...?
So his plan is to send his nameless cellmate above ground to find Emma and tell her he loves her and whatever...plus, there's a monster set loose to kill them too.
Anyway, Mary Margaret and David take a stroll through the graveyard, like you do when you're in hell with nothing else to do, and she finds a tombstone engraved with HERCULES.
Back in the Enchanted Forest we see a teen Snow White be challenged by Evil Regina to take on a gang of bandits who are robbing the peasant folk of their kingdom. Snow White hustles from the castle and into the forest only to fall down a big hole.
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Meanwhile, the nameless cellmate finds Emma and the others and warns them of the monster that has been set loose to kill them. Seconds later, the foul hellhound chases them all to Mary Margaret's apartment. They somehow chase it away, but the fact that Mary Margaret's apartment is waiting for her in hell makes them all wonder what her unfinished business is?
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
We flashback and discover teen Snow White was rescued by a young, muscly goof, Hercules. He tells her he has twelve brave acts to accomplish before he can get his wings or something. The last task is the hardest, to defeat the three headed hound. (Just like the one who tried to eat Emma and her family!) They bond, he teaches her to use a bow and arrow, she scares off the bandits and she makes him brave enough to go take on his last task. But before he goes, she gives him a kiss for good luck.
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
Realizing that her teen crush is in limbo in hell, Mary Margaret tracts down Hercules at the docks. He's still young and hot and she's like, "I'm a grandma, plus the mayor, well...I used to be. I also made out with my husband's dead twin brother..."
He tells her he died trying to accomplish the final task of killing the three headed dog.
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
In other news, Hook is pulled out of his cell by Hades. And they make useless threats toward each other, because duh, they're both dead.
Henry goes to Regina's office and bumps into Cruella. She has a proposition for ole' Henry. If he uses the author's quill to rewrite her back to life, then Emma will not be considered a murderer anymore.
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Why is the quill in hell? It's a living entity, obviously and when Henry broke it in two it came straight to hell.
Don't ask, just accept...
Henry thinks this is a good enough reason to keep his deal with Cruella a secret.
Mary Margaret, Emma and Regina go into the mines and run into Hades. This scene is basically Hades proving that he has cable TV and has been watching everything that's been happening in Storybrooke. Bummed out that they have no answers, Mary Margaret sulks back to her Underworld apartment. Regina makes it real by reminding her that she was totally badass as Snow White.
To which Mary Margaret is suddenly channeling her inner Snowiness. She finds Hercules, tells him he has to defeat the monster who killed him, it's the only way he can ascend to heaven. They run into the nameless cellmate and together the three of them (quite easily) poke the three headed dog in the eyes with pencils or something and suddenly everyone is a hero.
And Mary Margaret has a revelation.
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
Sadly, this means that the cutie patootie Hercules has to leave. I was kind of hoping he'd stick around for a few episodes. Also, the nameless cellmate is Magara (duh).
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
While everyone is celebrating Hook and Hades continue to have their meaningless debate, until...Hades reveals the twist. For every soul that our heroes free from the Underworld, one of them will have to take that soul's place. And Hook has to choose who by carving their names on the gravestones!
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| onceuponatimeabc.com |
Please, please, please, don't let there be a stupid loop hole to this brilliant plot twist.
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