Once Upon A Time, Episode 15, Red Handed or Ruby Finally Wears Pants!

Original cast of The Hunger Games
photo credit, onceuponatimeabc.com

Emma drills David mercilessly about Katherine. Just kidding. She begs him for answers but he only shrugs in that goofy way of his, and says he didn't call Katherine the night she disappeared.

Emma frowns at the phone records trying to decide what to believe; the cheating husband or the computer print out. She flicks her golden tresses off her shoulder then tells him to get a lawyer and become a better liar.

Schmexy must be rolling in his grave.

Aw, Schmexy. At least there was a glimpse of him during the flashbacks at the beginning of the show.

August, the writer guy, talks with Ruby at the pub/diner/laundromat. She's enamoured by his stories of the outside world. And he's enamoured with the view of her mid-drift. Granny pulls a lemon face and calls her over to the counter.

Red's boyfriend, Peter
photo credit awn.com

A strapping young fellow with bow and arrow walks through the snow to a cabin in the woods. Red answers the door and warns him they don't have much time. He tries to convince her to run away with him. Granny bellows from the other room, startling Red. She gives him one last kiss, promising to think about his offer. He runs off happily. His name is Peter, you know as in Peter and the Wolf. And now this song is running through my head.

Red joins Granny at the front door of the cottage—it must be a fancy one with several entrances—a group of menfolk with torches arrive and explain they're not an angry mob but a hunting club looking for a green ogre named Shrek. Also, there's something eating the sheep.

Granny tells them they're no match for the wolf she knows is responsible for the missing livestock and sends them away. She locks up the cabin tighter than Fort Knox, and orders Red into the back room where it's safest.

Granny and Ruby have a fight at the pub/diner/laundromat. Granny says that since business is booming Ruby should learn how to do the books and take more responsibility.

Um...it's the only business in town. Hasn't it always been booming?

Red wakes the next morning and Granny scolds her for not wearing her red cloak. The color red repels the wolf and therefore protects her.

Huh, in the movie, The Village, the color red attracted the monster. I hope Granny didn't get her legends mixed up.

Red rolls her eyes but still puts on the cloak and ventures to the chicken coup to gather eggs for breakfast. She finds Snow White hidden in the corner. She's cold and nearly starving, but with her eye make-up is perfect. They immediately bond over their misfortune situations. Red tells Snow White about the wolf, but Snow White isn't convinced until they find the hunting mob, sorry I mean hunting club for men, in pieces.

Emma and Mary Margaret walk down the street and pass under a sign advertising Storybrooke's Free Local Library.

Great! The free libraries as so much better than the kind that charge you. I call those libraries, book stores.

Emma tells Mary Margaret about David's phone call to Katherine and pleads for an alibi. I guess Emma hates arresting people. But their conversation is cut short when they see Ruby being propositioned by the creepy doctor. You remember him right? He's the town's only doctor, other than Dr. Hopper, the psychiatrist, and whatever Doc from the dwarfs is doing these days.

When Ruby tells them she quit the diner and is trying to leave town, Mary Margaret offers her apartment as a place to stay for the night.

Mary Margaret specializes in taking in strays.

The villagers have gathered for another hunting club meeting, the group is a little smaller since the last few members were well...dismembered. Tempers rise and plans are made for bloody vengeance.

Granny tells them they're fools if they think they take on this wolf-monster. She shows them a scar on her arm from when she survived the attack that killed her whole family. The wolf spared her but she warns the people that the only way to survive is to hide like a ninja.

Red confides to Snow White that Granny's compulsive need to keep her locked up has made it impossible to have a normal life. The only way she can have a future with Peter is if they run away. Snow White worries that Granny is using the danger of the wolf to keep Red from her true love.

And we all know what true love's kiss can do, right? Well, sometimes.

But Red has a better idea then kissing Peter and waiting for the magic, she's going to kill the wolf herself! She'd be free to see Peter and finally wear the green cloak that goes so much better with her skin tone than the red one.

Mary Margaret arrives at the scene of Katherine's car accident and walks into the forest. Instead of Mr. Gold limping from behind a tree, she stumbles upon a spaced out David. Mary Margaret assures him that even though evidence is mounting, she will stand by him. David ignores her and wanders off.

Things that make you go, hmm.

Snow White follows Red through the woods as they look for animal tracks. You know who would be helpful...yes the Huntsman.

Dear ABC,

More Schmexy flashbacks please!

Huge prints suggest the wolf is one big fella. Snow White wants to turn back but Red is determined and she plods forward.

Ruby and Henry are at the Sheriff's office looking up jobs on-line. Of course, where else would he be? School? *snorts*

Emma walks in and sees that Ruby would be a perfect receptionist or filing clerk or lunch order delivery girl. Mary Margaret breaks up the happy scene, and hurriedly explains that David is acting all freaky in the woods.

Red and Snow White discover the tracks change and that the beast is a minotaur! No, actually it's a boot wearing werewolf. They deduce the wolf changes (mid-stride mind you) from a huge beast into a fully clothed man.

If Grumpy can hatch from an egg in pyjamas with a beard and speaking English, I guess anything is possible.

They follow the tracks to the Granny's cottage. Red realizes she kissed Peter at that very window. Instead of getting the hunting club for men, Snow White suggests the only route of action is to tell Peter the truth. This apparently is the only way to stop him and save the village.

Okay. *sighs heavily*

Ruby goes into the pub/diner/laundromat as a customer since she is the receptionist/file clerk/ and lunch order delivery girl. She stands tall and tells Granny that she has a new job. Granny says she hopes she finds what she's looking for.

What does that mean? She's looking for lunch!

Red confesses her discovery to Peter but puts a positive spin on the situation by declaring they can now go away together. All they have to do is tie him up when he starts to turn into the wolf-man. But he has a better idea and opens his bag, showing her the chains he happens to be carrying.

Isn't that convenient?! What the heck did he have planned for their date tonight anyway? Time to run away, Red.

They ignore my comments and decide to try chaining him up that night.

Great plan. *more sighs and rolling of eyes*

Henry shows Emma (and us) where he keeps the storybook locked in the Sheriff's office far away from the Mayor's prying eyes. Ruby returns with sandwiches and Emma makes another awesome decision. She takes Ruby with her to look for the spaced out David. This seems stupid until Ruby takes off into the forest, saying she's just following her instinct.

He's lying on the ground with a fresh head wound. He has no memory of getting into the forest or anything since the night before.

The creepy doctor declares that this is a side effect of his coma. In fact, this nicely explains how David could have called Katherine and then kidnapped her without realizing it.

Isn't that convenient?!

The Mayor shows up, and comes to the aid of 'Helpless David'. She demands he get a lawyer since she's still his legal guardian or something.

Emma panics at this bizarre turn of events because it's so rare for weird stuff to happens to her. She calls Ruby and insists she search the (Troll) Toll Bridge since David wanders there...a lot.

Ruby, not exactly as shown
photo credit tiptopglobe.com

Ruby hones in on her natural tracking skills from fairytale land.

She starts probing random parts of the beach with a stick. She unearths a jewelry box and opens the lid. Her screams are heard all over British Columbia.

Go Canada!

Granny enters Red's room and finds Snow White under the red cloak, pretending to be her. Snow White tells Granny that Red sneaked out and is going to help Peter deal with his wild side. Granny practically has a stroke, then storms out of the cottage.

Peter is chained to a tree trying to break the iron links as a huge wolf approaches. He pleads with Red to snap out of it. SHE IS THE WOLF.

Finally! A strong female protagonist.

Back at the Sheriff's office, Emma looks inside the jewelry box. She talks about being impressed while Ruby cries over the discovery. What is it? A hand? A heart? An eyeball?

Snow White wears Red's cloak as she follows Granny through the woods. Red suffers a family curse started from the early attack when Granny was only a young girl. They find Red and what's left of Peter. Granny has a silver tipped arrow and shoots her down.

I have a feeling Granny would have kicked serious butt in The Hunger Games.

When Snow White lays the red cloak over the beast it turns back into Red. The hunting club for men are shouting in the distance as vengeful clubs often do. As they close in, Granny tells a disoriented Red the truth and that she must flee the village. Red realizes she's too afraid to leave, but Granny pushes her toward the woods, saying it's the only way. Snow White takes her and the both disappear into the trees.

Ruby decides to wear pants and visits Granny at the pub/diner/laundromat and asks for her job back. She explains the book keeping and extra responsibility scared her.

Yeah, math has that affect on me too.

She says working at the pub/diner/laundromat makes her happy. Granny confides the business will be Ruby's when she retires.

David and Mary Margaret meet at the animal shelter. Of course. Wait. Why are they at the animal shelter. Emma arrives and tells them about the jewelry box. It contained a human heart.

Holy smokes. Schmexy!!!!

The DNA will take a few days, but the fingerprints inside the box matched someone in the town...wait for it. Mary Margaret. I have a feeling this is connected to the REAL reason the evil queen wants Snow White's life to be hell.

Whose heart is in the box? I know. The evil queen's true love, that's who.

But who is the evil queen's true love? And who is the creepy doctor in fairytale land? And why is the writer not doing anything? And where is my Tylenol?