Yesterday I noticed a lottery ticket stuck on the fridge behind a yellowed comic strip, and a pair of theatre tickets. My husband must have put it there. I can't remember the last time he bought a lottery ticket. I began to worry.
Do we need money that badly? Has our debt grown so monstrous that a million dollars is the only solution? This is bad timing. Our daughter needs braces and that engine light thingy is blinking on the car's dashboard.
|photo credit, wikispaces.com|
This is what I do. I'm a worrier, just like Wemberly in the Kevin Henkes' books.
My drive is late. They must be in a car accident.
A headache lasts for two days. It must be an inoperable brain tumour.
My agent hasn't heard from any editors who have my manuscript. Obviously, they're too busy making fun of it over the water cooler.
See the pattern?
It's exhausting being a worrier. Look at the pictures of Wemberly. Those dark circles under the eyes are there for a reason!
And it's not only imaging the worst. Worrying goes hand in hand with it's ugly cousin, guilt.
I'm not Catholic, but some of my friends are and they assure me that I have enough guilt to qualify. Lately they've been discussing what they're giving up for Lent.
I've decided the dark circles under my eyes have to go. For Lent I'm giving up worrying, or rather I'm trying to worry in a more positive way.
Instead of imaging the worst case scenarios, I'm day dreaming about the best possible outcomes. And I've discovered there is a fine line between my usual foreboding and anticipation.
Carly Simon had it right. Even a character on The Simpsons summed it up nicely, “Better than the moment, better than the memory, is the feeling of anticipation.”
If my drive is late, I take that extra time to eat a cookie and imagine they're picking up a nice bottle of wine for us.
If my agent hasn't heard from an editor, hopefully it's because they're taking their time to read it a few more times before making a million dollar offer.
And that lottery ticket stuck on the fridge? Maybe my husband was feeling lucky that day. Everybody has a dream, right?
This morning I heard someone in my city won the lottery big time, but no one has claimed it yet. I'm not in a rush to check the numbers though. The ticket will stay behind the comic and the theatre stubs a little bit longer. This anticipation thing is more addictive than Pinterest.
It's Lent after all, so I'm going to spend the rest of the day dreaming about the best possible outcomes.
What would you do with a million dollars?
Next Monday I'll be blogging the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.