Tuesday, 25 June 2013

The Bachelorette Season 9, Episode 5, "Polka, Pouts, and Mountain Peaks"


The fellas get a free trip to Munich, Germany! They arrive in matching zip up hoodies.

Here's some of their comments while walking through the historic city.

“That's a cool building.”

“This is so cool.”

They boys can't believe how awesome their hotel room is and they jump for joy in their matching hoodies.


Chris, (Henry Cavill's twin) explore Munich with a phrase book, and a team of camera men.

Back at the hotel, Bryden takes time to do an interview about how lonely he feels. He talks with the other guys about how he's not getting to second base with Des.

James says, “Yeah, man.” And then looks around the room for help.

Bryden is find Des, and let her know he's needy.

I think she already knows, champ.

Chris is so handsome in his pea coat! He and Des sample all the vendors and try on lederhosen, and take loads of selfies. They dance the polka and charm everyone watching. Even the doves fly down from the sky.

Chris says, “Nothing can go wrong.”

Bryden goes into the streets with a camera crew asking random people if they've seen and camera crew near by.

Um, yes, behind you, idiot.

Bryden says, “I hope Des isn't too upset when she finds out I want to leave.”

Amazingly, Bryden finds Chris and Des.

What are the odds? It's as if the producers have cell phones or something.

Bryden apologizes for interrupting the perfect date and he takes her off to the side, camera crew in tow.

*Cue the creepy piano music*

Bryden gives Des the news that he wants to go home. She replies, “Are you going home now, then?” Then she says, “Good-bye, Bryden.”

Meanwhile, Chris is preparing to alleviate her pain.

Des is a bit weepy because she's tired of being dumped. Chris is there with a big hug and handsome shoulder. He tells her that he's in for the long run, until the end...until that last rose.

Then they kiss and drink double pints of beer.

Right on, Des!

Michael and Ben are chosen to go on the two on one date. Michael says, “Great. I'm on a date with the one guy I detest.”

Michael, you're not dating Ben.

Then Michael vows to slay Ben like a gladiator.

Des and Chris have an elegant dinner under chandeliers. She says, “It feels so natural to be with him, nothing is forced.”

They bond, they laugh, and she imagines him pulling off his dress shirt revealing a big red S on a blue t-shirt.

He tells Des that he's ready to have a relationship and start a family.

She tells him she likes a man who can compliment her and let her know how he's feeling.

Right on cue, Chris whips out another poem he wrote for her on the red eye trip from the states. Des cries and before you can say, 'Bryden who?' She reaches for the rose.

Hooray! The Man of Steel, Stole Her Heart!

Then a musician suddenly appears and they have a private concert.

Time for the Group Date!

Des takes them into the mountains and she's wearing a Canada Goose Down Filled Jacket!

Yay! Canada.

They take a gondola up the mountain. Here's some of the comments...

“This is so cool.”

“Oh, wow!”

“Wow, no way.”

“That is so awesome.”

When they reach the top each of the guys take a turn yodeling.

I could have lived without that.

Then they sled down the hill, and crash over and over again.

Zak reminds us, “We're here for love and sometimes you just have to let go.”

There is a snowball fight and one doorknob hits Des in the face. She laughs, but seriously, guys, don't ever, ever do that.

Des and the guys tour an ice hotel. They lounge on furs and eat pretzels and wine. Des lets the guys know that if they're feeling like Bryden the-sookie-baby, they should ship out speedy quick.

They guys waste no time in letting her know, she's THE ONE.

Des blinks her doe eyes back at all the compliments. She and Brooks make out and she secretly hopes Bryden watches the reruns in his boxers while eating cereal... all alone.

Mikey and Des make little snowmen and talk about how many kids they will have, then Zak perches on a nearby rock and practices his yodeling.

Zak tells Des he once wanted to be a priest. He said he came to Europe, climbed a mountain and decided he wasn't ready to be a priest after all.

Des says, “Wow.”

James sulks under the fur blanket's and says, “It's hard to be on a date with seven other guys.”

Des finally gives the rose to 'the person who brings out the best in her, even she's having a bad day'...and that person is Brooks.

James can't believe it, since Brooks looks nothing like him and is only half as interesting.

Now it's time for Ben and Michael to kill each other to go on their two on one date with Des.

Michael is going to use his trial tactics (he's a lawyer) to expose evil Ben. Des planned this date on purpose to see how long it takes Michael's heart to explode if the guys can get over their intolerance of each other.

Des takes the guys on a motor boat hot tub that they can maneuver around the lake. She asks them relationship questions. Michael is clearly pissed off with ANY answer Ben gives.

Des looks longingly at the coastline.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Drew and Kasey tell Brooks and Chris that they overheard Mikey and James talk about all the hot chicks they will be able to date when the show is over because they're going to be super amazing celebrities.

Men are stupid.

And now I'm worried, since I know the names of all the guys.

Des, Ben and Michael have dinner with an order of Pepto Bismol. Michael asks Ben why he doesn't have any friends in the house. Ben gives an answer, and Des chuckles awkwardly and takes a sip of wine.

Michael pushes the issue and poor Des brings up the question of family traditions. Ben talks about going to Church with his family, then Michael pipes in...again.

Didn't he watch The Bachelor? It didn't work with Tierra and it won't work now. I wonder how most of Michael's trials go?

Ben works hard not to reach across the table and choke Michael. Des considers not giving the rose to either of them since she really only wants to be in her hotel room drinking by herself at this point.

Des gives the date rose to...Michael.


Ben walks out, clearly upset. He uses his time in the limo to plot Michael's downfall.

When Michael returns to the hotel, the boys rejoice—not because Ben's gone, but because Michael isn't really competition.

It's time for the rose ceremony!

Des looks lovely and is dressed to crush someone's heart. She and the host have a little talk and I fast forward. She then announces there will not be a cocktail party, instead they'll go straight to the rose ceremony.

Drat! Now Kasey and Drew can't tell her about James and Mikey's plan to score with hot babes after the show.

I fast forward until one rose remains on the tray. It's between Mikey and James! The last rose goes to...James.

Mikey, the plumber is going home.

This is a contest to find a husband! Why is she getting rid of the plumber?

Mikey is totally surprised. He says, “I have a lot of offer. I think she missed out on a guy like me.”

Yeah, I think that's the point.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...