Sunday, 29 September 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 1 "Heart of the Truest Believer"

 Or better title, "Blood Magic; The Most Convenient Magic of all"

The show starts with Emma giving birth to Henry while the security guard from the prison looks on. She refuses to hold the baby, and tearfully says she's not fit to be his Mother.

We flash forward to present day as Hook, aka Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE), steers the gang toward Neverland.

Henry lands on a darkened beach with Naomi and Greg. They break it to Henry that they're not in the Enchanted Forest, but in Neverland “The Mother-load of Magic,” according to Naomi.
CSE points out to Regina how ironic it is that he's wasted most his life trying to leave Neverland to find Rumpelstiltskin, and now he's got him on board. Emma is bitter towards Mary Margaret and David. She says choosing to be good has never worked out for them. She decides being hopeful sucks and that her parents are useless. Mr. Gold breaks up the meeting and determines he's the one that can save Henry. He calls Emma out, saying she's still a non-believer.

He says, 'Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild, and unfortunately yours doesn't.' Then he disappears!

Greg and Naomi make a camp fire, hoping to connect with their evil counterparts. Out of the woods, the Lost Boys arrive and drop the bomb shell that they tricked Greg and Naomi. Their only mission is to collect Henry. While a freaky shadow thing rips out Greg's soul and Naomi is skewered, Henry takes off into the jungle. He's rescued by a young kid with big ears.

Back on the ship, Emma does chin ups in anticipation of some kick ass action to come. CSE gives her Baelfire's old sword. They throw back a few shooters, drinking to Neil.

In the Enchanted Forest, Neil wakes up surrounded by Mulan, Aurora and Prince Phillip.

So... I guess they found Phillip.

Aurora excitedly tells Neil that she knows Henry since they spent some time in the sleepy room of flames together. She's convinced she can contact him again with a message that Neil is alive and that he loves Emma.

The pirate ship comes under attack.

What is it? A whale? A krachan?

Nope. Angry mermaids. There's a lot of canons fired, then Regina gets bored and tosses a couple fire balls into the water. Emma manages to catch one and they bring it aboard.

FYI, mermaids in Neverland wear a lot of eye make-up and bejeweled bikini tops.

Henry and the mysterious boy with big ears take a rest. He shows Henry a vial of pixie dust, but claims it's useless. Then they talk about how creepy Pan know about the stealing boys out of their beds issue.

Dear ABC,

J.M. Barrie is rolling in his grave.

Neil and Mulan converse about his bizarre childhood and upbringing. Aurora wakes from her sleep and determines she cannot make contact.

I'm shocked that she's useless...just like every other episode.

Neil puts on a sad face. Then he remembers his dad was so magical, he must have left something behind in his castle. Maybe that could help them?

Off to Rumpelstiltskin's castle!

Speaking of...Mr. Gold finds Naomi pulling herself along the ground with an arrow sticking out of her back. I know he's still Mr. Gold and NOT Rumpelstiltskin because his hair is straight and there's not a speck of gold glitter. He magically heals Naomi and asks her about Henry. She tells him Henry took off into the woods. She apologizes profusely and asks for his forgiveness. Instead, he rips out her heart and crushes it like a bag of potato chips.

Mulan and Neil travel to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. He confesses his fear of not having Emma love him back prevented him from telling her he loved her.

What? *scratches head*

The mermaid blows her conch shell and creates a storm. The others argue how to interrogate her; Mary Margaret wants to strike a deal, while Regina wants to kill her. Instead, Regina turns the mermaid into a statue. Suddenly a huge wave engulfs the entire ship.

Dummy. Everyone knows you never, NEVER turn a mermaid into stone.

In Rumpelstiltskin's castle Neil and Mulan search for some kind of magical solution to their problem.

Wait, that's every episode.

Robin Hood shows up and threatens them with his arrows, claiming that the castle is now his.

Does anyone see that this Robin Hood is completely different looking than the Robin Hood from last season?

Neil says he doesn't want the castle, only that one magical thing. Robin Hood tells Neil that Rumpelstiltskin actually spared his life.

Remember that episode?

Soon magical music starts...Neil finds his father's walking stick and a mysterious cabinet is revealed. Neil recognizes the blood magic.

Oh, okay. Blood magic. That's convenient.

Regina and Mary Margaret manage to have a fist fight on the ship. CSE and David decide to join them. Meanwhile, Emma tries to steer them through the storm. Since no one is listening to her, she dives overboard.

That, Emma. It's always about her desperate need for attention.

Henry and the kid with big ears are cornered by the Lost Boys. Henry grabs the vial of pixie dust and gives a lovely speech about how you have to believe in order for it to truly work. He takes the kid's hand and they jump off the cliff...and what do you know, they can fly. They can fly. They can fllllyyyy.

David ties a rope around his waist. He jumps in the angry waters after Emma and brings her to the surface. With the others helping, she's brought on board. She spits up some water and suddenly the storm stops.

Oh my gosh. It's like they had to work together to stop the storm...just like magic.

Mr. Gold finds the head Lost Boy, and says he's in Neverland for Henry. The Lost Boy gloats, promising a battle that will end Mr. Gold's life. Then he slaps down a present from Pan, a crude doll made from corn husks. Mr. Gold starts to cry.

Neil searches the hidden cabinet. He finds a snow globe and concentrates on how much he loves Emma. There is a vision and Neil sees that Emma is in Neverland.

She and the others have made it to the dark beach—except the mermaid, I don't know what happened to her. Emma reminds them all that this island is build on belief, and now is the time for them to all believe...not in magic (even blood magic), but to believe in each other.

I think Sesame Street called that cooperation.

Henry and the kid make it to safe ground. Then the boy reveals that he's Peter Pan. He's been on a mission to find the heart of the truest believer. And now Henry and his heart belong to Pan.

And now it's time for a musical request. This one goes out to Henry from Storybroke, the truest believer and youngest member of the most dysfunctional family.


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