Monday, 24 March 2014

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 13 "Witch Hunt"


Or better title, “Family Feud"

The Wicked Witch of the West (I'm going to get carpal tunnel, lets just call her 3W) goes through the Evil Queen's (EQ) jewelry and dresses enjoying her new found digs.

EQ and Snow White come up with a plan to break the protective spell and then ambush the castle. A flying monkeys tries to scare them, but EQ does some hocus pocus and turns it into a cute stuffed bunny. She gives it to Robin Hood's son, thereby earning a look of admiration and surprise from him.

Ah, the romantic subplot is taking shape.

Back in Storybrooke, which is also present time, David and Mary Margaret tell Emma right after she and Henry left town limits, Regina cast the curse and then everything went black. But instead of the enchanted forest they woke up in their beds back in Storybrooke. Everything was the same—except that Mary Margaret is very pregnant.

Hook saunters around the living room. He says they all went back to the enchanted forest at first and they all decided to go to the Queen's castle. Instead, he took off and lived happily by himself on the Jolly Roger. Then one day a bird arrived with a message to return to New York to save Emma. The vial of memory potion was wrapped inside the note. It was signed by Snow White.

This seems pretty normal to everyone and all heads nod in union.

Grumpy and another dwarf break up the family reunion to announce that another member of Storybrooke has gone missing. David tells Emma that for the last few days people have started to go missing. Among the missing is Neal.

Hook tries hard not to fist pump the air. Emma decides the only way to solve this mess is to retrieve everyone's memories to find out who cast the new curse.
Charming and the rest of the gang are troubled by the existence of murderous winged monkeys. Belle tells everyone they exist in a land called OZ. Snow White doesn't believe her because that's just too crazy. I mean come on...flying monkeys?

EQ lets the fairy tale folk know that OZ is very real and if a flying monkey is in the enchanted forest, then 3W is the one who has taken up residence in her castle. She refuses help and plans to take down the protective spell on her own thereby allowing Charming and Snow will storm the castle...or something like that.

Henry is enjoying being the new kid in Storybrooke and everyone pretends not to know him. Mary Margaret comes up with the story that she and Emma were cell mates.
Funny moment. I enjoyed that.

Regina sees Henry and she drops her coffee cup. Emma takes her aside quickly and explains that Henry has no memory of Storybrooke. They're both back because of a new curse and missing year's worth of plot...yada yada yada.

While Regina whines about not being able to give Henry welcome back hugs. Emma is determined to find out who cast the spell and she's going to use her super power to scan every person in Storybrooke.

Seriously? Her lie detecting super power?

Robin Hood and his merry men hunt in the woods of Storybrooke. While chasing a wild turkey, Little John comes precariously close to the town limits. Instead, he gets plucked off the trail by a flying monkey.

No! Oh wait. I have no connection to this character and therefore do not care what happens to him.

Emma deducts the flying monkeys are kidnapping people if they try to attempt to leave Storybrooke.

In a town hall meeting, Regina tries to convince everyone that she had nothing to do with the new curse, but no one is buying it. Sick of being good and not getting any credit, she decides to return to her evil ways.

One particular woman, who looks a lot like 3W without make up, smiles to herself.

Robin Hood finds EQ and thanks her for saving them from the flying monkey. There is some flirting then she tells him to back off because she has to sneak into her mother's castle for some potion ingredients to help her break 3W's protection spell. He said he can help because he breaks into stuff for a living.

Emma arrives at Regina's office. The blow up in town hall was a ruse and they're hoping to flush out the real culprit.

EQ and Robin Hood navigate a booby trap course to sneak into the dungeon of Cora's castle via the family crypt. She's concerned to find the door already open, which is impossible because it was a blood spell. He tells her about his late wife and EQ mentions she's lost a son... in a way.

Mary Margaret tries to get Henry off his Nintendo DS and invites him to take him to the library. He agrees and runs for his coat.

Why not? Because an ex-con friend of my mom's is my friend too.

Seeing that Mary Margaret is hugely preggers, the woman from the town hall starts talking about babies. She recognizes her as Snow White and explains she missed the first curse so this is her first trip to Storybrooke.

The woman is 3W. She says her name is Zalena. Back in fairy tale land she was a midwife. Mary Margaret is so excited she hires her on the spot. Zalena gives her a creepy smile and says she'd be honoured to help with Snow White's baby.

Does anyone else think the baby is going to be a flying monkey?

David and the others find Little John unconscious in the woods.

EQ takes Robin Hood into Cora's bedroom. She rummages through drawers and starts to mix a sleeping potion. Robin Hood tries to convince her she has something to live for and that the pain of missing her son will ease with time.

She tells him the curse can only be broken by true love's kiss, and Henry is her true love. As soon as the protection shield is down, she'll let Snow White and Charming storm the castle and then she'll take her sleeping potion.

That sounds air tight to me. Well, until his shirt sleeve rips or something exposing his tattoo.

Regina's attempts at mimicking Hook's memory potion fail miserably. Emma comes up with another idea to trick the town's people. Only the guilty person would be worried that Regina was making a memory potion. They can set a trap and get that phony just like Scooby-doo.

Grumpy is the town blabber mouth. He goes to the hottest place in town, Granny's pub/diner/laundromat, to spill the fake beans. After his speech, Zalena sneaks away.

David and Robin Hood take Little John to the hospital. Dr. Whale (Frankenstein) starts to assess him but is quickly thrown back when Little John sprouts wings.

No. Not butterfly wings. Weird bat wings. He turns into a flying monkey and well...he flies away.

Emma and Regina wait in her yellow bug for the mysterious enemy to fall into their trap. Regina asks Emma what Henry's life is like in New York. Emma says he has lots of friends and is very happy, but Emma decided to return with Hook because the old Henry would have told her that heroes always come back.

True dat.

When they see someone in the window, they race to the office. Regina assures Emma that she put a blood lock spell on the door (ew) thereby trapping the culprit inside. They find the darkened office in shambles. A figure hides in the corner, but before Emma can get a good look, a plume of green smoke fills the air and they disappear.

Regina is shaking in her heels. Who could be powerful enough to break one of her spells?

EQ works her magic on the castle, confident in her black, bedazzled bustier as she takes down the protective spell. When it disappears, Grumpy gives the word and the fairy tale army surge toward the castle.

EQ grabs her sleeping potion and says a little prayer that one day Henry will wake her up. From the shadows 3W sweeps into view. She steals the sleeping potion from Regina and begins to monologue, like all villains do.


EQ says she could care less about a witch from OZ.

3W says her name is Zalena and she doesn't want the castle. EQ asks how she managed to break the blood lock spell on her mother's crypt.

She taunts EQ about Cora then leans in and calls her sister. She explains that since Cora knew a green baby would never snag a prince for a husband, she abandoned her.

Growing up in OZ without a mother was no picnic apparantly. EQ says Cora was a terrible mother so she probably was better off. Then 3W drops the bombshell that she knew Rumpelstiltskin. She hates him as well because he abandoned her too.

Zalena has some issues and her main plan of revenge is to make her sister suffer.

Perhaps this involves being spray painted green?

But EQ isn't afraid, she's thrilled to have an enemy again.

Needing a little pick me up since their trap bombed, Emma takes Regina to meet Henry. They shake hands and smile. She hides her breaking heart well.

David and Hook arrive with news that the missing people are probably being turned into flying monkeys. They talk about green smoke and it's obvious 3W is the one who has cast the new spell. Emma asks, “Why is she in Storybrooke?”

Zalena takes a food tray out to her secret backyard prison. Rumpelstiltskin is being held in a cage. He refuses the food and tells her she shouldn't have brought him back. She only smiles and says, “Eat up, we've got work to do.”

And this is where I stomp my foot. Of all the fairy tale characters who have died she brought back Rumpelstiltskin?!!! Hey, if you're going to bring back someone from the dead, you make sure it's the hot Sheriff.

I will never give up hoping!

Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.

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