Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 12, "A New York City Serenade"

Or better title “Time Warp Nausea”

ABC gives us a quick recap of last episode with Hook showing up at Emma's apartment one year after she and Henry left Storybrooke with completely new memories.

When he tries to explain that her family is in danger she tries to slam the door in his face thinking he's crazy.

Maybe it's the guyliner.

Hoping she'll remember with a kiss, he lays one on her only to receive a knee in the front part of his leather pants.

Operation 'Get Emma', attempt #1 ... failure

Now let's get in the time machine because we're going to find out what happened to everyone else when Emma left Storybrook exactly one year ago.

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Prince Philip meets up with a pregnant Aurora for a picnic, but a plume of purple smoke soon overtakes them. They shudder with fear. When the smoke clears Snow White and the gang are all present.

Snow White tells a shocked Aurora, “We're back.”

It's present day again. I know this because ABC put PRESENT DAY on the screen.

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Fresh from another successful bounty hunter job, Emma meets her boyfriend for dinner—some English dude who gets his hair done by the stylist of One Direction. When he gets up from the table, Hook swoops in.

Operation, 'Get Emma', attempt #2

He says he knows she's an orphan. Then he slips a piece of paper with an address that will tell her who her real parents are. She says he's crazy, but he replies, “Use your super power and you'll know that I'm telling the truth.”

Um...what? Wait, you mean the super power of having convenient magic show up when it's most needed?

No. He means her ability to tell if people are lying or not.

Oh. Okay. *Rolls eyes*

Emma is intrigued, apparently Regina forgot to imagine fake parents for her so the orphan bit with a burning desire to find her birth parents is real. She takes the slip of paper and Hook tells her to meet him at Central Park the follow day.

Snow White congratulates Aurora on the upcoming birth of her baby. Without a place to stay, Snow White says she and Charming are taking Regina's castle back—with a begrudging Regina along for the ride because she's trying to be nice now and everything.

After they leave it's obvious Aurora and Prince Philip are scared for their unborn child and they debate whether or not to tell 'this season's dangerous villain' *cough* Wicked Witch of the West *cough* that Regina has returned.

PRESENT DAY

Thanks ABC, I'd have no clue without that huge prompt across the screen.

Back at the restaurant Emma's boyfriend has returned with a fancy dessert but not his English accent. He proposes on one knee and things get awkward when he starts bringing up his furniture business as a way to sway her vote.

She says she needs time to think. He's super cool with that.

Henry (who has been growing quickly since last season) finally looks normal as a fourteen year old instead of a thirteen year old being made to look like a ten year old.

Ouch! Math headache.

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They play video games while Henry tells her that she should give the boyfriend a chance and not all dudes are like his father. They rehash how Neal set up Emma to spend time in jail for his crime and that he doesn't even know Henry exists. She asks how he got so wise.

Grumpy and the dwarfs celebrate that they're back in the enchanted forest. Jiminy Cricket arrives and says more fairy tale characters are popping up all over the place. Charming asks Grumpy to spread the word that everyone should make haste to the Queen's castle for shelter.

I bet the actor who plays Jiminy Cricket is a bit upset about this new development.

Hook saddles up a horse and declares the Jolly Roger is his home, not the enchanted castle. He tried being a hero and that didn't get him any hot lovin' from Emma.

Snow White accuses him of going back to being a pirate now that Emma is gone. He says he was always a pirate.

WRONG!

What about the episode when he was in the navy with his brother?

After Hook gallops away, Neal comes up with the idea of returning to his father's castle because maybe Rumpelstiltskin is somehow alive OR maybe he can find something that will take him back to Emma.

Snow White reiterates the rules of Regina's curse. “It's a reset,” she says sadly. “With no more portals. The only way to cross over is with another curse. And that will NEVER happen. It's impossible.”

Rules?

Rules don't matter on this show.

Henry asks Emma if she's still... 

Oh, sorry. PRESENT DAY

Henry asks Emma if is she's still worrying about the proposal.

Nope. She's thinking about going to the secret address given to her by the sexy leather clad dude. Emma goes to the address and she discovers it's Neal's old apartment.

Why is his stuff still there? This is New York City. The police should have cleared it out when he stopped paying rent a year ago.

Emma is shocked to find a camera with Henry's name on the strap.

Sorry I have to interrupt. Emma is wearing plaid pants in this scene. There is no place on the planet that these would be okay. Just sayin'...

Unable to ignore this bizarre coincidence, she goes to Central Park to meet Hook. She's convinced he's working with Neal to try and steal Henry from her. Instead, he talks to her about curses, castles, and stuff like that. To further convince her he's on the straight up, he offers her a vial of magic liquid that will help her remember. “Take a leap of faith,” he tells her.

She handcuffs him to the fountain and whistles for the police to arrest him.

Belle and Neal trade theories that Rumpelstiltskin staged his own death. They're determined to find his dagger.

Snow White gets nostalgic as they approach her childhood home. Then Grumpy alerts her that Regina is missing. Snow White finds her burying her enchanted heart. “It hurts to miss Henry,” she explains.

Snow White basically says suck it up, I'm a mother who lost her kid too. Don't be a dummy, keep your heart and you'll find happiness.

Hey, remember the episode when Robin Hood's son helped Neal get to Neverland? He's Regina's true love!

Regina is swayed by Snow White's logic and she does her own heart transplant. But before they can share a cup of flavoured tea to celebrate this milestone in their relationship, something swoops out of the sky. It gets close enough to scratch Regina.

The flying beast is scared off by Robin Hood.

My nerves. I'm brilliant!

There's instant dislike on Regina's part. I can see where this is going. She'll hate him until she sees his tattoo and realizes he's her true love.

Robin lets them know the flying beast is something he's never seen before.

*Time Machine back to the future*

Emma talks with Henry about how she's ready to move forward in her life and maybe, just maybe she'll think about marrying the fake English accent dude. He tells her to listen to her instinct and stop worrying. Everything seems cool until she looks at the pictures she had developed from Henry's camera.

Hook is busted from jail by Emma. She demands to know how those pictures of her and Henry in a place called Storybrooke can exist.

Did anyone ever see Henry with a camera in any previous episode? No? Me neither.

See? Rules don't matter in this show.

Hook tells her to ignore logic and instead, listen to her instinct. He hands over the vial of memory liquid. And since Emma is all about trusting your instinct, she forgets about the boyfriend who just proposed and takes a sip from the vial offered by the crazy guy she just busted from jail.

Emma downs the whole vial and her brow instantly furrows. “Hook,” she says, her voice heavy with regret.

Robin Hood reunites with Neal and Belle on the forest path as they journey with the others to the Queens' castle. When they arrive Regina discovers the castle is surrounded by a protective spell. Until she can discover who has taken over the castle they have to camp out.

Hook and Emma share a drink at her apartment reminiscing. He tells her that he was hanging out on the Jolly Roger when he received news that a new curse had been placed on the enchanted forest. He was able to cross over. He needs her to return with him to Storybrooke to save her family.

She's bummed because her life was fantastic and now she has all those crappy memories again. The boyfriend shows up and he's brought his accent with him. She tries to explain that 'a ghost from her past' showed up and she has to go back home to resolved some issues.

He begs her to chose a future with him instead. When she turns him down, he morphs into a flying monkey. She grabs a pipe and starts swinging. She sends him crashing to the street, far below.

The next morning she makes breakfast for Henry and says, “Do you believe in magic?” He, of course, has no memory of Storybrooke. She tells him she has a new case and that he's going with her ... you know... for an adventure.

Hook arrives at the door. She tells him to help with her luggage. She says, “Henry, lend him a hand.”

Hand. Good one. Get it?

She puts on her red leather jacket and takes the yellow punch buggy to Storybrooke.

Hook tells her he doesn't know what effect the curse will have on everyone's memories this time. With Henry asleep in the backseat, Emma goes to Mary Margaret's apartment. David opens the door. He remembers Emma, but the last year had been erased. Mary Margaret comes down the stairs and she's very preggers. So they know that it's been at least nine months since the curse was cast. But they don't even know who's responsible.

Back at the Queen's castle, a flying monkey arrives with a drop of blood. A witch in a black hat with green skin takes the drop of blood and adds it to a vial, talking about how her revenge is now complete.

Oh, how original! Another witch with another revenge.

“The Queen may be evil,” she smiles, “but I'm wicked, and wicked always wins.”

So does fourteen on black, just in case you're at the roulette table this weekend.

Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of this post. As a reward, enjoy this video of The Police singing Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.