Sunday, 18 December 2011

Once Upon A Time, Episode 5, Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

Jiminy aka Dr. Hopper
photo credit,
November 28, 2010

The latest episode of ABC's fairy tale drama, featured everyone's favorite singing cricket—child psychologist, Dr. Hopper. We learn little Jiminy was his puppet wrangling parent's pickpocket. They toured fairy tale land, swindling everyone. But Jiminy begins to question the ethics of his parents least I think so. He says something about crickets and freedom.

The Sheriff decides to officially deputize Emma—that sounds a bit dirty *giggles*. She refuses to wear the police shirt and tie, which I find odd since she hasn't had much of a wardrobe change. But apparently the Sheriff is cool with that. He's also cool with the skinny jeans and red leather jacket as part of her uniform. He passes her the star badge, and when Emma clips it on her belt, a huge explosion rocks the town. Hmm.

The old mine site has blown open! Hey, maybe that's where the rest of Snow White's dwarfs are—they were diamond miners, remember? Henry is so excited. I love this this kid, he's all about change. He believes anything that deviates from the normal routine is further proof that fairy tale land exists, and that he's not crazy like everyone thinks.

The Evil Mayor finds a piece of glass at the site and quickly pockets it. Unlike Henry, she hates change. Worried she's losing control of the town, she threatens Dr. Hopper with unemployment, homelessness, and *gasp* grabs his umbrella, ordering him to change tactics with Henry's therapy sessions.

Still reeling from her groping his umbrella, Dr. Hopper tells Henry that he's delusional, and it's time to grow up. Unconvinced, Henry sneaks back to the mine with a knapsack full of chocolate bars. Hey, why not? 
Reese's Pieces worked for Elliot in E.T.

At the hospital, Prince Charming and Snow White are playing hangman. There's so much giggling and flirting, it's obvious these two want to play 
Twister instead. But before you can say, "right hand on red", the wife, Catherine, shows up with a photo album. Snow White, aka Mary Margaret...hold on. Catherine and Mary Margaret? The two women after Prince Charming sound like a couple of Nuns. Snow White sheepishly leaves, and drowns her sorrows in cookies and milk.

Deputy Emma storms Dr. Hopper's office knowing what he said to Henry. The Mayor calls from her black and white mansion wondering where Henry is...seriously, this woman only decorates in two colors. Cruella Deville would get lost.

When we see an ethically torn Jiminy again, he's a grown man visiting Rumpelstiltskin, trading in stolen items, but Rumpelstiltskin knows he's looking for something else. He gives him that filthy toothed smile, and hands over a vial of elf tonic that will solve Jiminy's problem with his parents. Anyone else notice how much Rumpelstiltskin is turning into Jack Sparrow?

Emma and Dr. Hopper race back to the mine and find one of Henry's chocolate bar wrappers. There is another cave in, leaving Dr. Hopper trapped inside. He explores the passages lined with railway tracks. Holy crap! It's the inside Gringotts. I did not see that coming. He meets up with Henry and they look for a way out.

Jiminy looks miserable as his parents con a nice young couple into buying the fake elf tonic. After they leave the cottage, Jiminy tells them he's had enough, and pulls out another vial, spraying them with the contents. His father laughs, and says he switched the vials. Panicked, Jiminy returns to the cottage and sees the young couple have turned into creepy wooden dolls. A boy arrives, and screams when he sees his parents are now firewood.

Back in the mine, Dr. Hopper finds an elevator. He and Henry crawl inside and begin to ascend. On the surface, Marko (Dr. Hopper's Italian friend who is really Geppetto—smooth foreshadowing *rolls eyes*) arrives and tells them they should blow up the entrance. Really? It's been like five minutes. Anderson Cooper isn't even on the scene, and CNN hasn't even composed a theme yet.

Meanwhile, Snow White and Prince Charming are talking about why he can't even remember his dog named Ajax. Uh-huh. How about a reindeer named Comet? Catherine appears with muffins, and I'm trying to think of fairy tale princess who made muffins—I hate not knowing the answers.

After the failed explosion...I'm shocked, it was such a good idea, Dr. Hopper's dalmatian saves the day. He's all black and white and would fit nicely inside the Mayor's house. Just like Lassie, he uncovers the air shaft for the stupid humans. As they stare down the bottomless pit, I have a
Lost flashback. I pause the show, needing to take some Tylenol. Lost always gave me a headache.

Emma gets geared up in the harness, and is lowered down. Where was this speedy crew when the 
Chilean Miners were stuck? She rescues Henry, but at the last moment the elevator plunges to the bottom. We think Dr. Hopper is a goner, but...ta-da, the umbrella saves the day.

Dr. Hopper has an epiphany and decides to follow his instinct by listening to the voice inside his heart. At this point, my voice is telling me I'm not going to find out anything new about the Sheriff this episode.

Dr. Hopper takes a stand against the Mayor, playing the custody card. Nice one. His good friend, Marko, is there to great him. *FORESHADOW ALERT*.

We see Jiminy again, looking at the stars. He doesn't break out into song like the movie, but the blue fairy arrives to grant his wish. She also gives him a good look down her low cut dress, that's not cleavage that's yardage. He wishes to be free like the crickets and promises to help the little boy whose parents took the elf tonic. The little boy's name is Geppetto, aka Marko, the town explosive expert. Ahhh, Oooo, circle complete.

Now for the quick montage of carrot dangling that happens at the end of every episode. We see Geppetto's wooden parents on a shelf in Mr. Gold's shop. Show White puts in her resignation at the hospital (isn't Prince Charming being discharged in a week anyway?). And finally, the Evil Mayor returns to the mine and throws her piece of suspicious glass down the air shaft. We follow it to the bottom where it lands a the feet of a surprised John Locke. No, it lands with other suspcious looking pieces of glass, amoung green grass and flowers. Hmm.

My Prediction for the next episode:

Seeing Snow White is getting now where with Prince Charming, Emma lends her the skinny jeans and red leather jacket. Shmexy Sheriff will say something in his shmexy Irish, Welsh, Scottish accent that adds nothing to the plot, but sounds great all the same.

Did I miss anything? Who do you think Catherine is?  

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