Or better title "Hook's So Smart"
Mama's Got Work To Do
After Regina's discussion with Mary Margaret she agrees to go undercover. She finds Ursula, Cruella, and the newly reincarnated Malificent, at Granny's pub/diner/Laundromat.
They do shooters and Regina crushes her glass to prove she's still badass.
A young Queen Regina argues with Rumpelstiltskin that he's not teaching her enough magic. Regina has found Malificent's spell book from her mother's belongings and wishes she could be that amazing.
Rumpelstiltskin says Malificent has the power to turn into a dragon because she's so patient, unlike Regina who keeps whining about waiting to learn evil magic to take down little Snow White. So in order to teach her a lesson Rumpelstiltskin sends her to Malificent's castle.
Emma is upset when she learns Mary Margaret convinced Regina to go undercover. Meanwhile, the three witches take Regina for a joyride in the Rolls Royce to reek havoc on Storybrooke.
Meanwhile, Henry uses a magnifying glass on one of the pages August added to the story book. He seems particularly interested in a picture of a door.
The next morning David and Mary Margaret find Regina hanging out by a burned out Sheriff's car. After a night of drinking and property damage Regina tells them she's discovered the three witches are in possession of something very powerful.
The three witches go back to Mr. Gold's cabin. He's intrigued to find out Regina has been with them. He stokes the fires and talks about the 'war' they're going to start in Storybrooke.
Cue evil laugh.
Revenge = Motivation
Back in the enchanted forest, Queen Regina visits a drunken Malificent. She's got nothing to live for since Princess Briar Rose got away. The only bit of magic left is a burning tree still on fire since the last time she was a dragon. She keeps giving herself tiny increments of sleeping potion to take the edge off her miserable existence.
On her way back from Malificent's castle, Regina finds out there's going to be a Royal Wedding, Briar Rose's daughter, Aurora is getting married. She rushes back to tell Malificent and they both trade stories about how rotten their lives are because they can't get revenge. Malificent then confesses she can't turn into a dragon anymore.
Regina takes Malificient to the burning tree where she inhales all that evil magic again.
Could it be that easy?
The King comes along warning her to stay away from Aurora. Malificent does all the choreography but is unable to turn into a dragon and kill them all.
After Malificent fails, the King takes her and Regina prisoner. But Regina starts to fight with her simple fire balls. Malificent is inspired and somehow finds the magic to become a dragon again.
While Aurora combs her hair before her wedding, Malificent shows up, puts her to sleep and the rest they say is history.
Back in Storybrooke, Malificent tells Regina that she's looking for the author as well. Regina is all ears since she's eager for her happy ending. Regina runs to tell Emma and the others that the diabolical plan is to use the author to give the villains their happy endings and to take away the happiness of all the heroes.
Emma says she's going to be Regina's backup no matter what they have planned tonight.
While Will and Belle share some chocolate cake, Hook arrives and tells her about the three witches' plan and wants to make sure that Belle is in possession of the dagger. Hook encourages her to get it for him so he can hide it...because everyone knows pirates are great at hiding stuff.
Malificent makes Regina pay a visit to Marco and Pinnochio. She's convinced the little boy can remember something about the author and Regina has to prove she's evil enough to make him confess.
*cough* torture *cough*
After Regina magics Marco and Pinnochio to sleep, Emma shows up and tries to convince her to stop, but Regina is determined to see this through.
Belle and Hook meet. She's worried Mr. Gold might be inside town limits and the dagger is her only protection. Hook suggests that she prove it by summoning him. She does, but no one shows up. She hands over the dagger and drives away.
Hook smiles and turns into Mr. Gold.
Hook arrives at Mr. Gold's shop and tells Belle the dagger is well hidden and they promise to never speak of what they did. He then asks about Will. She says she'll never be over Rumpelstilskin but Will makes her smile.
Malificent takes Regina (and the kidnapped puppet) to Mr. Gold's cabin, and she sees him. When all the villains proclaim to want to find the author, Mr. Gold uses his freaky magic and turns Pinocchio back into August.