My Facebook Fiasco

Elephantjournal.com

Earlier last month, I logged onto my Facebook account and was directed to a page that explained I wouldn't able to access my page until I downloaded a Government issued, picture ID.

HUH?!?!?!

I tried again several times, but it kept sending me to the same page. I even changed my password and jiggled the cable—my knowledge of computers is limited. After these failed (shockingly) to change the situation, I went into paranoia mode.

Had I been hacked? Had I been reported? Was someone pretending to be me and secretly posting bogus coupons?

I had no idea. There was nothing on my personal page or my Author page that would cause this to happen.

I must have been hacked!!!

My husband checked my account and all was well. No pictures of naked debauchery or extreme political slogans. And thank God, no links to Taylor Swift videos.

Still, I didn't like the idea of scanning my ID and just sending it away without more of an explanation—especially since my drivers licence looks like a kidnapped journalist being held for ransom.

No one I knew had ever had this issue, and when I searched on-line most of the comments were ranting 'down with Big Brother, I hate the governement'.

Hmm...there were no answers that would help me. The FAQ section of Facebook only said that because of security reasons they could not discuss my account until they could verify who I was.

Grrr...

After two weeks of not being able to post on my Author page, I finally caved. I took my drivers licence, covered up everything except my date of birth, scanned it, then uploaded (as instructed) by Facebook.

And then I waited. Would it take days? Weeks?

Holy cheese farts! Three hours later I received an e-mail from Gus, from Facebook.

Hi Bethany,

Thanks for verifying your identity.

After investigating this further, it looks like we suspended your account by mistake. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. You should now be able to log in. If you have any issues getting back into your account, please let me know.

Thanks,

Gus
User Operations
Facebook

I sent Gus a reply thanking him and the Facebook team for such speedy service. Then I asked,

As an author who uses facebook to build my professional platform, this suspension was extremely frustrating. I'd like to know why my account was suspended. Is there anything I can do to prevent this mistake from happening again?

 
To which this was my reply,


Hi Bethany,

We review reports carefully in order to decide the appropriate course of action. If your profile is reported and doesn't violate our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities, we will ignore the report. If we decide that something reported does violate our Standards, we may take action on your account.

Unfortunately, for technical and security reasons, we are unable to provide further details regarding this. We apologize for any inconvenience.

To learn more about our policies, review the Facebook Community Standards: https://www.facebook.com/communitystandards.

Thanks,

Gus
User Operations
Facebook

I had in fact reviewed the Facebook Community Standards already when I was first trying to figure out why my account had been suspended...nothing applied to me.

I decided this was all the explanation I was going to get. My suspension wasn't due to an international identity theft ring, it was just a mistake.

How anticlimactic.

Hopefully this post will help someone else if they, like me, have done nothing to violate the "Community Standards" but find themselves faced with the quandary to send Government ID to Facebook.

In my case, my account was reinstated quickly. And as far as I know, no one is buying diamonds in Cuba under my name.
 

Although, I secretly wonder if Gus is doing an experiment to see how long it takes perfectly normal people to send away pieces of Government ID over the Internet.

Which category did I fall in Gus?

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 6 "O CANADA!"

Lake Louise, September 2011
photocredit, Bethany Myers

The girls are being whisked away to Lake Louise in Banff National Park in Alberta, CANADA.

I was there two years ago with my family (see above photo) and it is absolutely gorgeous. Lake Louise is named after the Princess Louise Caroline Alberta (1848-1939), the fourth daughter of Queen Victoria, and the wife of John Campbell, the 9^th Duke of Argyll, who was the Governor of Canada from 1878 to 1883.

But the girls don't have time to bother with silly trivia. There's lip gloss to apply, damn it!

Sean takes Catherine on the one on one date. He makes her wait on a glacier until he finally shows up, driving a giant snow bus.

Real gentlemen don't let their dates shiver in the cold.

Things get stupid when they pull out a sled in the near blizzard conditions. They have a romantic cup of hot chocolate and try kissing. Remember that scene from A Christmas Story when the kids tongue stuck to the pole?

They dine inside an ice castle—well...I mean they drink, but again there's no food.

Catherine tells Sean she has a serious side, and because she lost a friend at the age of twelve this of course has led her to being on reality TV. Then they smile and laugh and make out.

Sean takes a few girls on a group date...including Tierra.

What hilarious hijinks are to follow?

Sean makes the girls canoe across Lake Louise.

Here's a tip girls, you don't step into the canoe until it's in the water.

They manage to make it across the lake and he drops the bomb that they have to go swimming in the freezing water. But it's perfectly safe because there are life guards and a trained paramedic waiting to restart your heart with a defibrilator...just in case.

Selma says, “Call me a princess but I don't think risking my life for a rose is necessary.”

No, it's called smart. Ten points for Selma.

They get in their bikinis and the squealing begins. There is five seconds of swimming and everyone is back on the beach and high fiving each other like they've done something.

Tierra starts to shake and says she can't breathe. The emergency team bundle her up and rush her back to the hotel speedy quick.

I'm sure she'll be all better by the time drinks are ready to be served. She also didn't have to take a canoe ride back.

OMG. She is wearing oxygen via nasal prongs and is shoving a big mac in her face while someone helps put on her socks.

This show is sooooo stupid.

Sean visits her and says, “You keep finding ways to get one on one with me.”

He tells her to stay at the hotel while he takes the other girls out for supper.

I'm predicting a miraculous recovery.

WHERE ARE THE DRAGONS?

This stupid episode would be so much better with dragons.

Leslie and Sean cuddle because when Sean takes the girls out for supper it means having make out sessions between rounds of drinks.

Sean tells her, “I appreciate you so much.”

Danger phrase.

Leslie tells the camera, “We have the connection, the chemistry, and the passion. It's like the perfect recipe for the best relationship.”

Or herpes.

Sarah shows Sean a few of her family pictures and I think she is way too sweet to be on this show.

Tierra pulls out the oxygen prongs and puts on the dazzle.

The producers rub their hands in anticipation.

It's convenient how the girls have been drinking and talking about Tierra when she walks in—almost like it's scripted! But that's crazy because this is reality television.

Sean arrives and immediately whisks her away.

She is *lightning clap* The Tierrorist.

Sean cuddles with her for awhile, then he gets a little time in with Lindsay. They don't say anything but a lot of tongue action is going on.

Lesley gets the date rose and The Tierrorist doesn't like that at all.

Sean takes Sarah aside and I'm guessing the limo of tears is pulling up to the hotel. He says he doesn't want her to sit through a rose ceremony waiting to find out what he's already decided.

Sarah has to go back into the room and say good bye to the girls. Sean's cruelty knows no bounds.

I've begun to notice that when the girls cry the music tempo picks up. I wonder what would happen if the mixed up the slow guitar make out music and the crying music?

Sean takes Desiree on the solo date.

Daniella asks the camera, “Why is he taking Desiree on a second date when I haven't even been on one? What is Sean looking for?”

He's looking for more time with Desiree, dummy.

They repel down the face of a rock and Desiree keeps reminding us that it's steep. They get to the bottom and have a picnic composed mostly of booze, I'm guessing.

Yup, two wine bottles.

Desiree confides to Sean that she grew up with very little money—her family lived in a tent for a few months at one point. He gives her the rose and I really wish the camera would STOP zooming in on their mouths.

At the rose ceremony Sean tells all the girls that he's had a great week in Canada, and it's cleared his head from all the doubt he had last week.

Go Canada Go!

This is a picture of me enjoying the view of Jasper National Park on the Columbia Icefield Highway.

 

 

Selma has decided that she's going to make her mom upset by kissing Sean on national television.

Relax mom, it's pretty tame. They didn't even play the guitar music.

Lindsay tells him that she isn't going to kiss him this time. She giggles and says, “This is hard.”

*giggles*

They trade two questions and then start to make out.

AshLee asks Sean to blindfold her as a way of giving him control over her, and trusting him. I think he would have been happy with a simple make out session. Sean leads her to a bench where they can make out.

Shocking.

The last rose available is between Tierra, Daniella, and Selma.

He gives it to Tierra. And the producers cheer!

Selma is composed, but Daniella falls apart. To be honest, I don't even know how she got past the first ceremony.

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 5 "Montana is Tierrable"

The girls are super excited when the host tells them their world wind tour of love with Sean is finally beginning!

Where are they going? Paris? Venice? Shanghai?

Nope. Montana.

Still, the girls clap and cheer like it's the Showcase Showdown on The Price Is Right.

Sean flies over Montana and says, “I can't wait for the women to get here.”

Said every guy, in every bar, everywhere.

Lindsay is picked for the one on one date.

Sean takes Lindsay outside where a helicopter is waiting for them.

Lindsay says, “Is that a helicopter?”

Lindsay is a teacher—in case you've forgotten.

playmobil.com

 

They take a tour of Glacier National Park. They land and have a private picnic. There's no food, of course, but lots of booze. A lone guitar player begins in the background when they start to make out.

Lindsay tells us, “I'm feeling so blessed, we can't stop kissing each other.”

Sean says, “I want to see if I can go deeper with Lindsay tonight.”

Gracious.

Lindsay opens up about her upbringing as an army brat.

This works for Sean and more kissing happens, he also gives her the rose. Then he takes her outside for a private concert where they dance on a platform, surrounded by the towns people who may have been promised gift bags if they showed up.

I fast forwarded until the next commercial break.

Sean takes the girls on a group date. They show up with loads of lips gloss and big hair. They have to go through a bizarre wilderness obstacle course to earn more time with Sean.

This may shock you, but none of the girls know how to paddle.

I'm not sure what's going through Sean's mind as he watches the girls milk the goat. The losing team is carted away as Sean celebrates a champagne toast with the winners.

Sean is majorly bummed that the girls had to leave, so he bends the rules and invites all the ladies for good, happy, special times.

They frantically change out of their drinking pyjamas into their drinking dress up clothes.

When Desiree finds out she chugged goat's milk for no reason, she gets all misty eyed.

Daniella says, “This is not a competition. This is about him finding his wife.”

Oh, Daniella. You say the funniest things.

Tierra isn't happy that she's missing all the good, happy, special times. She puts on her boots that were made for walking, and started hunting the city for Sean. She even puts on a plaid shirt one of the girls from the blue team left behind.

Tierra tells him, “I need to see the guy I'm dating. I came all the way to Montana to spend time with you.”

Um...you and Daniella know you're on a show, right?

Sean says, “I don't know what to make out of Tierra, but I have eight other girls to spend time with.”

 

All the girls tell Sean they just adore him, and they want more one on one with him...blah...blah...blah...

*cue the lone guitar player as the making out continues*

Daniella starts to cry when she sees Sean happily making out with another girl who isn't her.

When she finally sees Sean for her one on one time, she starts to cry.

Paging Dr. Daniels...Dr. Jack Daniels.

Sean gives her some tongue therapy and she's all better.

Gag. Barf. Gross.

But all that crazy emotional crap works and she gets the rose.

Tierra and Jackie prepare to go on a two on one date with Sean. This means only one girl will stay. There's so much animal print and bangles going on it's like a blast from the 80's.

Jackie uses her one on one time with Sean to bad mouth Tierra. All three have a relaxing dinner as Sean squirms while the girls throw dagger eyeballs at each other. Again, NO ONE EATS.

Tierra says to Sean, “I'm scared because I have the biggest heart.”

Sean gives the rose to Tierra, and the producers cheer in the back room. Jackie cries in the back of the limo as Tierra snuggles close to Sean as fireworks go off above them.
 

It's time for the rose ceremony/cocktail party.

Desiree tells him, “I don't know what you're giving other girls.”

Hint, it's the tongue.

Tierra says, “I want to punch all those girls in the face.”

Desiree says, “I don't know what's going on in her head.”

Careful what you wish for...

A few of the girls confront Tierra. I fast forward because chicks high on vodka in a contest for a guy they only met three weeks ago make no sense.

Meanwhile, Sean wanders the chalet, looking for a woman who isn't fighting to make out with. He takes Tierra aside.

She says, “It's frustrating for me because I am such a nice girl, but nobody likes me.”

Sean is antsy because he hasn't had a lot of opportunity to make out with everyone.

Sean talks to the Host about how his needs haven't been met with all the Tierra drama.

Robin didn't get a rose. She stayed strong in the limo, but then she did the 'face cover sob'.

Here's the worst part though, there's another episode tomorrow night.

*Dies inside*

Happily Ever After; Dating Service For Fictional Characters, Session One

 

Welcome to Happily Ever After!  

It doesn't matter if you're a hero or a zero on the pages, our on-line dating service will help you find your soul mate.

We'll have you picking out matching bookmarks before you can say, 'library late fees'.

The chat room is about to get started! Let's see who's looking for love today.

Moderator: Hello, everyone. I see we have a new person in the chat room tonight. Go ahead, don't by shy. Tell us a little about yourself.

Elizabeth Bennet: I am pleased to make everyone's acquaintance this evening. I'm not the kind of girl who usually puts herself out there, but recent events in my family have pushed me into a position where I must find a suitable husband. I really don't want to get married—at least not purely for monetary reasons, but we're in a bit of a stitch in Longbourn and I need to keep roof over my family's head.

Katniss Everdeen: In order to save your family your plan is to marry rich? That's quite a sacrifice you're making.

Elizabeth Bennet: But if I had a choice, I would only marry for love.

Edward Cullen: I've never been in love...it's a human emotion.

Katniss Everdeen: I hunt squirrels in the woods with Gale. He's cool and the other girls think he's hot...I guess he is. I'm too starving to notice.

Holden Caulfield: I'm not into anybody. Well, no wait. I like girls. I really like girls. And guys too. Well, no not in that way. I mean I can appreciate how swell a guy looks all dressed up for a date, but...yeah. Hey, listen, I like girls. All of them.

Victor Frankenstein: I kind of have an on again off again thing with my cousin.

Elizabeth Bennet: ?

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth is such a beautiful name.

Elizabeth Bennet: Thank you, Mr. Cullen. May I ask you what you're looking for in a lady?

Edward Cullen: Oh, the usual I suppose; good manners, a nice smile, the kind who agrees to be taken away from her family and friends so she can be available to my every whim. I want a girl who does whatever I say and loves all the same things I do.

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm perplexed, Mr. Cullen. Even by societal standards of the 1800's, your ideas are positively primeval.

Katniss Everdeen: Would you feed her, though?

Edward Cullen: I'm not sure why that's important, Katniss?

Holden Caulfield: It sounds like Kat has a fear of commitment.

Moderator: Here's a fun twist. Perhaps everyone can talk about their fears as a way of getting to know each other. Why don't you start Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Bennet: Having to marry my cousin, Mr. Collins.

Victor Frankenstein: Hey! I resent that. There's nothing wrong with marrying family. My cousin happens to be really hot.

Edward Cullen: I fear the sun...it makes me all sparkly.

Holden Caulfield: Puberty.

Moderator: Katniss? What about you?

Katniss Everdeen: The only thing I'm afraid of is being picked to join a bloody reality show where I'll have to fight other kids to the death.

Elizabeth Bennet: Pardon me!? Surely there's something that can be done to stop this pointless blood-fest?

Edward Cullen: Did you say blood?

Victor Frankenstein: Do you suppose there might be some spare parts? You know, like a hand or foot, one might be able to take after the festivities?

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm not sure I'm in the right chat room.

Holden Caulfield: Don't worry, Lizzie. These guys are all a bunch of phonies. Every single one of them. Why don't you and I take off? I know a swell bar downtown that sells the best rye and ginger. What do you say? Do you like dancing?

Edward Cullen: Drop that punk, Elizabeth. You'll only end up hurt with a scraped knee. I play the piano and drive fast. But you'll always be perfectly safe with me—even though I repeatedly tell you I'm fighting every instinct to expose your innards to my fangs.

Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, dear! Papa is calling for me. I must make haste and take my leave.

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth?

Victor Frankenstein: Katniss, when does this reality show begin? It sounds fascinating. I'd like to hear more about it. Perhaps you can join me at my family's chateau for tea?

Katniss Everdeen: Will there be food with the tea?

Victor Frankenstein: Of course. Cook always prepares an extra special buffet for guests.

Katniss Everdeen: Count me in.

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth?

Holden Caulfield: She left! You and your phony attitude drove her away. You're rotten.

Holden Caulfield: Edward?

Holden Caufield: Anyone???

Moderator: Sign off, Holden.

Holden: You're all a bunch of phonies!

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 4 "Chicken dinner, you're NOT a winner!"

 

Sean says, “All I need to focus on are my individual relationships with each of the girls.”

Like making out with each of them, right?

tv.yahoo.com

He chooses Selma for the first solo date.

“I finally get to open up to Sean,” Selma says. “And then move it to the next level, and then we can have babies.”

*Prays for their future babies*

“I just really want a date,” Leslie, the poker dealer cries.

There are other ways, Leslie.

Selma says, “I don't have clue what I'm doing today.”

Or any day...probably.

Then she adds, “There's a private jet and a red carpet. Is every date going to be like this?”

No, never again. Ever.

Sean takes Selma to the desert for rock climbing.

Selma says, “I'm not good in heat at all.”

Really? Cause you look like you've been in heat since the beginning of the show.

The long laborious climb begins, with gratuitous cleavage shots. Thank heavens for fast forward.

They celebrate with champagne at the top and Sean says, “Let's see where this night takes us.”

I'm guessing to the hot tub.

Sean likes to end every solo date on a bed with a bucket of champagne. Anyone notice no one eats on this show? There's plenty of booze, though.

Sean tell us, “I want to spend the rest of my life with one person.”

But until then, of course, he'd like to make out with all the chicks on the show.

Not Selma though, because she has a rule about NOT making out with guys on national TV.

Does ABC know this? How did she get on the show? I thought that was a prerequisite.

The group date is roller derby. What genius thought this up? I hope they have 911 on speed dial.

 

 

Sean says, “This is going to be interesting to watch because you're all such sweet girls.”

I guess he hasn't been watching the nanny cam in the mansion.

Amanda is totally showing up all the girls, because all serial killers can roller skate. Then she takes a tumble and pulls a Tierra. The medics shows up, Sean hovers, but nothing is really wrong and the contest continues.

Sean takes the girls in their micro-mini dresses to ANOTHER private rooftop restaurant that serves only booze.

Tierra has a hard time adjusting to sharing Sean. She asks the producers if she can leave.

She says, “Sean's a great guy but why am I here?”

Amen.
 

Meanwhile Sean is heading to the hot tub with the substitute teacher. Tierra interrupts them and voices her concerns that she's losing her mind, but still wants to hang around to find out if she gets a rose. Sean channels his inner Emily, and says the right things to make her smile and giggle.

He's just a gigolo, and everywhere he goes, people know the part he's playing...

Tierra gets the rose.

Well played, freak.

Sean says, “I want to see where this goes, because I'm crazy about you.”

It's good that you like crazy, Sean.

Leslie, the poker dealer who was crying earlier, gets the next solo date. And a pair of diamond earrings are part of the clue. She squeals, "This is just like Pretty Woman! It's my favorite movie.”

Oh God! It's worse than I thought.

Sean takes Leslie shopping on Rodeo Drive. Leslie talks again about Pretty Woman. Does this mean Sean is going to pimp her out on the corner?

Leslie tries on a lot of dresses. When Sean sees the one he likes, she says, “Chicken dinner! It's a winner.”

Then they go try on diamond necklaces. But she's been set up. Sean needed to do all this fancy crap to see if there was even an inkling of romantic attraction between them. Leslie doesn't get a rose, but she gets to keep the earrings.

Chicken dinner...is what you'll be eating tomorrow night.

There was a live band but I fast forwarded that part.

It's time for the rose ceremony/make-out fest. And the lip gloss and eye shadow mean serious business.

Tierra says, “I'm just focusing on me. I came here to win this.”

And by 'this', you mean, Sean?

Sean tells the camera, “I can read Tierra and I know she's here for the right reason.”

See above.

There's more kissing with girls, and the loan guitar plays in the background.

After a make out session, one of the girls says, “It can only go up from here.”

*giggles at obvious pee-pee joke*

At the end of the rose ceremony, Amanda is the only one not holding a rose.

I blame the terrible shade of lipstick she chose.

Make Your Own Writer's Survival Kit

misc.thefullwkiki.com

Every writer should have a proper work area just for them, with everything they need only an arms length away. I prefer my big comfy couch in the living room with lots of pillows. By the time I've surrounded myself with a few essentials, I have a nest that would make Big Bird green with envy.

Here's my list of essentials:

1. Java. And lots of it, sister. Whether it be latte, espresso or americano, everyone knows a cut writer bleeds coffee.

2. Dish full of CHOCOLATES. Goes well with above mentioned java. Even a bag of baking chips will do.

3. Woolly socks. When the butt is in the chair, the blood flow can be compromised to the lower extremities. And everyone knows cold feet inhibit imagination.

4. Picture of Alex Pettyfer. We all imagine him as our MC...right?

beastlytrailertheater.com

5. iPod and ear buds. Soundtracks are great inspiration for specific scenes. Here are a few of my favorites.

Mysterious scene.

Chase scene.

Scary scene.

Smooching scene.


6. Hand wipes. See #2.

7. Lucky Troll Doll Necklace. Don't judge me. It works for BINGO.  

8. Pizza Delivery on speed dial. You've hit your word count for the day, hooray! But now it's supper time and the kids are starving.

BONUS! Elastic band. Wear it around your wrist. When self doubt creeps in, SNAP it, then keep writing.


What's in your writer's survival kit?

The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 3 "Psycho Style Tug Of War"

Sean says, “It's only been a week, but I'm really digging a lot of these women.”

The host gives the girls a bit of wisdom, “There's only sixteen of you left, make each moment with Sean count.”

*Barf*

Sean invites Leslie on the solo date.

Leslie says, “It feels nice to not have fourteen other girls by my side with Sean.”

Mmm-hmm, like ice cream on a summer afternoon.

They tour the Guinness World Record museum. Then Sean parades Leslie in front of a crowd to attempt a new world record for longest on screen kiss.

What's the point of going on a solo date if you're still making out in front of strangers?

It's not actually a kiss. Their lips are stuck together, but that's it.

I hit fast forward and someone gives then a framed certificate. I think it was for longest most painful moment on ABC.

Sean takes Leslie to a random rooftop for wine and snuggles.

He says, “The more time I'm with Leslie, the more time I want to spend with her.”

And the more I listen to the words come out of your mouth, the more I want to hit the mute button.

These two have the weirdest ALMOST kiss moments. They giggle, then stop talking, and then they look at each other, but neither one leans forward.

Sean asks her, “Can you develop feelings for me in this setting?”

The private rooftop champagne bar setting?

Sean takes a dozen girls to the beach for some fun time sports in their bikinis. Shockingly, there's a lot of gratuitous boobie shots.

The girls are split into two teams. The winning group wins one on one time with Sean, while the losers go home. The girls waste no time in painting themselves with 'S' for Sean.

I fast forwarded this as well, since I'm not a fourteen year old boy. The sun is setting, people are leaving the beach. Dear God, how long does this game last?

Sean hugs the losers while the winners cheer and jump for the camera.

Then he says, “I get to have real quality time with these other six girls and I think I need that.”

It's hard to be you, dude.

One of the girl's says, “Sean has all the qualities of a husband that I really want.”

Yes, a man who dates sixteen girls at the same time on national television, is definitely a keeper.

Lindsay, the substitute teacher, says, “You're like hands down, and on paper, like perfect chemistry.”

Like wow, your students must have like awesome report cards.

Sean has a nice moment with Desire, “I'll never get tired of hanging out with you.”

And feeling her butt.

Amanda confesses to Sean that she is his dream girl.

Oh, okay. Contest over then, I guess.

Amanda returns to the girls and declares that she has probably won the rose tonight.

Has anyone counted the knives lately?

Kaci tells Sean that Desire and Amanda are all freaky and weird and she feels uncomfortable, but she wants to warn Sean.

He says, “Why are you telling me this?”

I think that's a great answer to anything the girls say, Sean.

Sean gives the date rose to Lindsay.

Like, wow.

Ashlee is waiting to go on a solo date with Sean. Tierra falls down the stairs. This eats up more air time than necessary. Tierra ends up getting some TLC with Sean, while Ashley fumes in the foyer waiting for the limo.

Hint, make sure you're in full make-up when you pretend to fall down the stairs.

Sean says, “I want to see if Ashlee's got some kid in her.”

I guess they're going to the ultrasound clinic.

Ashlee is in her little dress, and cute heels, and Sean takes her to an amusement park. But it's not really a solo date because Sean has invited two chronically ill girls to come along. There's rides, stuffed toys, snacks, and a live band.

Ashlee gets teary eyed and considers herself very lucky to be on this date.

I'm also grateful to be spared any more drama from the mansion full of twits.

We learn that Ashlee was adopted at age six and her life story makes Sean cry, it also makes him give her a rose.

It's the cocktail party before the rose ceremony or as I like to call it, 'psycho tug of war'.

Sean takes Sarah outside and he surprises her by bringing her dog by for a little game of fetch.

After this, Sean sits down with one girl, and then another comes along and pulls him away. This continues for awhile.

Desire says, “This is stupid I'm not playing this game.”

That's right, Desire, it's not a game...it's a contest.

Sean begins the rose ceremony.

*Hits fast forward button*

Sean takes Kaci out of the room.

*Hits the pause button*

Sean explains to Kaci that he has too much respect for her as A FRIEND to make her stand through another rose ceremony, and he lets her bow out gracefully. That was very thoughtful of him.

*Hits fast forward*

Two chicks, who I don't even remember, have to go home. They cry in their post interview.

Why do women sign up for this?