Once Upon A Time, Episode 2, Season 2 “We Are Both”

Or better title, “That Was Easy”

Peer pressure.
photo credit, wetpaint.com

Grumpy and the dwarfs decide to test the town limits by using the scientific method—they draw straws and Sneezy is the poor schmuck. After an impatient Grumpy pushes him over the line, he starts to quiver and emit bolts of lightening.

I'm guessing this isn't good since the music gets spooky.

Storybrooke is in chaos; the Dementor black demon from last episode has destroyed most of the town, and lost fairy tale characters are looking for loved ones...like Gheppetto!

In his small boarding room, a wooden August Wayne Booth suddenly opens his eyes.

This creeps me out like that Twilight Zone episode, Talky Tina, when the doll speaks on it's own.

*Chills*

David pays a visit to the Mayor demanding to know why she no longer has magic to help him get to fairytale land to find Emma and Mary Margaret. Shockingly, she has no real answer for him...or us.

Dear ABC,

Okay, whatever. I will forgive all of the plot inconsistencies as long as you bring the Sheriff back.

In fairytale land, Regina races through the forest on horseback, but Cora, her evil mother, (aka Barbara Hershey, aka Queen of Hearts), casts a binding spell, making sure she stays, and goes through with her upcoming marriage to the King, Show White's father.

The Blue Fairy without her cross.
photo credit, ctv.ca

David needs magic to find Emma and Mary Margaret, and since the Mayor has no answers, he goes to the Blue Fairy—barely recognizable in her Nun attire.

I'm guessing the fairy costume will be the more popular pick this Halloween.

Dear ABC,

What about Nova who was all sweet over Grumpy? 

The Blue Fairy announces that without fairy dust there's nothing she can do to help David. Grumpy arrives with Sneezy who is adamant that he's the town pharmacist. Henry and David exchange worried looks. Apparently, once you cross the town border, your cursed identity becomes your permanent identity.

Regina spends some time with little Snow White, but her anger toward the child is so strong, she fears she's becoming as evil as her mother. When she confides to her father, Henry, he tells her Cora wasn't always a power hungry, evil spell caster. One day she met a man who gave her a book of spells...and she wasn't the same after that.

Ten points if you can guess his name. I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with Bumblestitskin.

The Mayor knows she needs magic to get Henry back. She visits Mr. Gold's shop demanding her mother's old magic book. He laughs and points to the door, but she hints she knows he has something big planned for Storybrooke. And it's this vague notion that's enough to force him to give her the book.

Really? That was easy.

Regina steals her mother's magic book and summons Rumpelstiltskin. He not surprised to see her and confides he's known her family for a long time.

David is feeling the pressure of being the town's leader—plus there's the small problem of his wife and daughter being sucked into a different dimension. Henry suggests he find Jefferson since he can work the hat that is the portal to fairytale land.

Geez, that Henry has all the answers. It's like the writers are telling him exactly what to say.

Instead of actually walking around town LOOKING for Jefferson, David visits Mr. Gold's shop so he can conjure a spell that will lead him to Jefferson.

*cough* lazy *cough*

In exchange for the potion, David promises to stay out of Mr. Gold's schemes.

Why would you promise him that?! What if his scheme is to keep Emma and Mary Margaret in fairytale land forever?

Mr. Gold gives David a tiny flask, and a cool smile, but when he learns memories are wiped clean once you cross the town limits, he's so happy, he smashes all the glass cabinets. NOT.

Rumpelstiltskin explains to Regina that she comes from a long line of powerful magic, but she's hesitant to believe him. In order to convince her, he congers an early wedding present—a mirror that is a portal to another world.

The Mayor opens the magic book; it has a heart on the front (obvious clue). She leans forward and breathes in it's magic.

That was easy. 

David uses the potion on Jefferson's hat and it leads him to an overturned car where he's been conveniently trapped while everyone else has been dealing with the whole magic-has-come-to-town-and-I'm-actually-a-fairytale-character thing.

The Mayor takes her newly minted magic self and busts up a meeting at the town hall. She starts throwing fireballs around, until Henry puts a stop to the crazy pyrotechnic show, saying he'll go back with her. While everyone watches, they leave together.

That was easy.

Jefferson tells David his magic hat is no longer magic and therefore useless. David gets all tough and threatens him with a knuckle sandwich, but Jefferson says they're both doomed to remember one life and forced to live another; then he laughs and runs away like the manic he is.



The Jeffster.
photo credit, tumblr.com



Sheriff Swag
photo credit, tumblr.com

Dear ABC,

Please give Jefferson more air time. Also, I would appreciate it if the Sheriff could now play Rumpelstiltskin.

Henry confronts the Mayor about her overbearing tendency to keep him prisoner. She tries to bribe him with magic, promising to teach him everything she knows...like making huge cupcakes appear out of thin air.

Sign me up!

Regina stands in her wedding gown, looking miserable as Cora lectures her on how to be the best dictator for the kingdom. Regina is disgusted with the unfathomable depths to her mother's evil and pushes her through the mirror, sending her to a different land.

Where? I'm guessing it's where the Queen of Hearts lives with Jefferson's severed head working on hats in her dungeon.

David prevents a parade of disgruntled characters lined up at the town limits, to stay in Storybrooke and to embrace both their identities. They nod and pledge to create a town where everyone is free to be two people...or something like that.

Regina gives Rumpelstiltskin back the book of magic. He entices her with all the amazing things she can do with spells. She agrees to let him tutor her as long as he promises she won't become like Cora.

That was easy.

David arrives at the Mayor's house with his sword ready to rescue Henry; don't forget he's embracing his real identity of a shepherd who is pretending to be a Prince. She breaks down and realizes she can't force him to love her, she tells Henry to go with David.

That was easy.

Dear ABC,

If the Mayor has her magic back and is trying to redeem herself, why doesn't she help David find a way back to fairytale land? I mean Henry would like that, right?

Meanwhile, all kinds of other stuff is happening:

The dwarfs buy some pick axes and decide to mine for fairy dust to help Sneezy get his memory back.

Mr. Gold stands at the town limit, while spooky music plays in the background.

The Mayor doesn't burn the heart covered magic book, but instead locks it up in case she decides to be evil again.

Ghepetto goes to August's boarding room, but the bed is empty.

A camp of renegade fairy tale characters!
photo credit, wetpaint.com

 

Mary Margaret and Emma are Mulan's prisoners. When they arrive at camp, the girls try to escape. As punishment, Mulan sends them to 'the pit'. Emma weeps over Mary Margaret's unconscious body. Out of the shadows another prisoner walks forward, a woman and it's....Cora.

 

Predictions for the next episode:

A new hot guy will be introduced only to be killed off or made to disappear for the next five episodes.

The Mayor will wear something black and cast a few spells.

Belle will get a job at Granny's diner/pub/laundromat, then she'll remember she's supposed to be changing Mr. Gold into a kind man, and rushes off to the pawn shop.

What do you think Cora will do once Mary Margaret wakes up and sees her Granny-in-law?

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Once Upon A Time, Episode 18, The Stable Boy or Never Trust The Cute Little Kid

The Mayor, not exactly as shown
photo credit, quittingadderall.com

The episode opens with the Mayor kissing a ring like Gollum in Lord Of The Rings. Mr. Gold walks in, startling her. She pushes the ring away, pretending they were just talking and not making out.

He asks her for a favor. Remember the florist he beat with a cane? It's too long to explain, just click here. In return, Mr. Gold propositions a scheme to frame Mary Margaret, and they discuss making Catherine disappear.

Riding horseback and wearing a lovely turquoise colored jacket is the Evil Queen. Her father laughs and claps as she jumps off to hug him. Hmm? What happened to make Regina give up the colorful wardrobe?

Enter Barbara Hershey, aka, the crazy mother with magical powers. Regina tries to stand up to her constant insults but she is no match for her mother's cutting tongue and cruel spells. Henry, the doomed Daddy, stands by uselessly, so Regina runs off to the stable...and into the stable boy's arms. His name is Daniel, and he looks an awful lot like David Bowie.

Stable Boy
photo credit, tvline.com

David Bowie
photo credit, tiffanyblogspot.com

Coincidence? Of course not! David Bowie is everywhere.










Emma pulls her hair into the longest ponytail in history and is cornered by David. He begs her to let him see Mary Margaret. Emma tells him his words of encouragement are the last thing Mary Margaret needs, and only one thing can help her now—a miracle. Amen to that, sister.

Mary Margaret wakes up in her cell and finds the Mayor staring back at her. Emma hasn't made it into work yet, and since no one guards the jail, like at all, anyone can walk in. The Mayor tries to convince her to confess to Catherine's murder since it would be easier on everyone. And I don't even know why the heck this scene was put in. *rubs temples*

Regina-the-colorful secretly meets Daniel, but warns him that she can't miss her tea time. I didn't know she played golf.

Barbara Hershey playing Darth Vader
photo credit, onceuponatimeabc.com

Obviously, Mommy Dearest would flip if she knew about their romance. Daniel tries to convince her their love is a powerful magic that not even her mother could defeat. Regina takes great comfort in his words and calms down. He's very stable...that stable boy.

A scream breaks up their tender moment. A girl on a horseback rides out of control through the valley. Regina goes 911 and takes off on her own horse, and saves the little girl's life. She says her name is Snow White. *cue the gasp* 

Mr. Gold explains to Mary Margaret a pre-trial session with the DA may be her best chance. He says her character as an elementary school teacher, and her willingness to cooperate, will do more to convince the jury then any kind of evidence. *sigh*



Mr. Glass shows up with a vase of tulips for Emma. They meet in her office and he tells her his super investigation skills have found nothing. So, why did he show up?

The DA arrives with the Mayor. Wow, things happen fast around Storybrooke! But Mr. Gold soon realizes the interview wasn't the smartest idea as the DA manages to get Mary Margaret so upset that she admits she had wanted Catherine out of the way. Oops.

But then again, so did I. She brought nothing to the story. Does that make me a suspect too?

Regina is paid a visit by the King (Little Snow's dad), and Barbara Hershey couldn't be happier. He comes to say thank you, then mentions his dead wife, and that no one he has ever courted has shown an interest in his daughter. *awkward*

To Regina's shock, he then proposes. But before she can say she already plans to runaway with a stable boy who looks like David Bowie, that evil Barbara Hershey accepts on her behalf.

Regina runs to the stable and proposes to Daniel, telling him they must leave right away. He says he wants to do things the proper way.

Who cares! The mother is a witch, just get on the horse and go!

Luckily, he happens to have a ring already tucked away in the saddle. Oh my goodness folks, it's the same ring the Mayor was making out with in the beginning. “Here,” he says, and places it on her finger.

I guess that's the proper way to get married—Martha Stewart would have a fit.

Little Snow walks in on them. Crying, she runs away to tell Daddy that her new Mommy comes with a boyfriend. Regina catches up and tries to explain that she will not be her new mother. And here comes the line about true love and how it's so awesome and magical, and...oh yeah, the most powerful magic of all.

Little Snow smiles and gives her blessing on the marriage to the stable boy. I have to say, Little Snow is quite articulate for a kid. Shouldn't there be a temper tantrum or something?

Regina tells her it's very important to keep it a secret and she must never tell anyone, especially her Mother. Did we all hear that? Tell no one, especially her MOTHER.

Never trust a little kid, no matter how cute.
photo credit, extratorrent.com

Little Snow promises to keep the secret because she has bonded so well with Regina. Also, she only wants the happiness of others, and nothing for herself.
Yup, typical behavior for a pre-teen princess.

Emma reads Henry's storybook by the dock. August shows up and starts talking about writer's block. He says that the more he writes, the more his perspective changes. He gives her the idea to approach the investigation into Catherine's death differently. She decides to visit the scene of the crime, and accepts a ride on August's motorcycle to Troll/Toll Bridge. August has a weird, almost painful reaction to the area. I'm guessing he's part troll or something.

Emma turns over one rock and finds a piece of a shovel that must have broken off when the person framing Mary Margaret buried the heart. Of course. *rolls eyes* Maybe Emma is part wolf like Ruby, with those convenient tracking skills?

With Henry's help on the walkie talkie, Emma and August, break into the Mayor's shed. And just like at the beach, within seconds she finds what she's looking for—a broken shovel.

Little Snow is cornered by Barbara Hershey. She sweetly asks the little girl why her daughter has pulled away from her.

Seriously? She's a kid.

Then she gives a speech about how mothers and daughters should never be separated from each other. This strikes a chord with Little Snow whose mother died years ago. She tears up and says Regina shouldn't marry her father, the King, but her true love, Daniel. And that no one should ever lose their mother. I have to admit, the kid seemed super creepy when she said this.

Emma hands the Mayor a search warrant for her shed. She doesn't even try to fake a search, but heads straight for the shovel. The perfect, brand new, in no way broken, shovel.

Emma accuses August of helping the Mayor. He begins his usual ambiguous talk about her lack of faith and that he never lies. She says that's exactly what a liar would say. *SNAP*

The Mayor visits the jail and promises to make Mary Margaret pay for all the lives she's destroyed. She goes on and on again about how she took away the thing she loved the most. *holds head*

We've heard this from the very first episode. She's said this speech so many times I dubbed it 'The Regina Monologues'.

Regina and Daniel prepare to leave. Finally! Barbara Hershey shows up and does her best impersonation of Mrs. White from Carrie. Regina pleads her case about love and magic and all that stuff. But her mother will hear none of it, telling Regina, and us, that she's had to make too many deals to get them out of poverty (what is it with people in fairytale land making deals? It never turns out well!)

Barbara Hershey, demented with visions of a palace in her daughter's future, pulls out Daniel's heart and then crushes it to dust. Love is a weakness, she says to Regina, it's just an illusion, it fades and you're left with nothing—but power stays (so does herpes, but that's another story).

Regina stands blank faced as she's being fitted for her wedding dress. Little Snow skips in and tells her how beautiful she looks for her marriage to Daniel. Unaware of Regina's building nausea, Little Snow tells her she's so lucky to have a wonderful mother who would do anything for her happiness.

Regina realizes that Little Snow told her mother about Daniel. She regains her composure quickly and enlightens Little Snow that she's marrying her father, the King. She lies saying Daniel was only an infatuation and that he runaway without her.

She brings Little Snow into a hug and talks about being a family. You can actually see the wheels turning to begin her life long plan of revenge. Regina leaves the room mumbling she should have let her die on that horse.

Emma confronts Mr. Gold that his plan for the meeting with the DA didn't go so great. He tells her not to worry and gives her some line about magic. Emma's had enough talk about magic and throws the vase of tulips against the wall...and finds a bug. Not the kind with legs and eight billion eyeballs, but the listening device kind.

She meets up with August and tells him about Mr. Glass' trickery. Don't beat yourself up, he consoles, it's hard to see what's right in front of us. Like a guy who talks a lot but never really says anything?

Ruby comes into the street screaming about somebody in the alley. Hey, she's wearing pants!

Emma runs around the corner and sees a body. She turns them over and finds Catherine—alive.

*Mind explodes*

They better not pull the identical twin story again. Also, I'm guessing Barbara Hershey is the elephant thing that passes for the Queen of Hearts. Anyone else?