Confessions Of An Unpublished Writer

Every time I hear someone say author, it sounds like they're saying the name Arthur, but with an English accent. I would love to be an author (see? now you hear it too!) but I am still a writer without readers—aka an unpublished person.

When people learn I have a literary agent, they usually ask two things. "What's your book about and when will it be published?"

The first one is easy. "YA paranormal romance," I reply. Then I explain that getting published is hard work, lots of luck and good timing. "It would be nice," I shrug, "but it's been really interesting seeing this side of the industry."

Here's the truth. I want to get published so bad I can taste it. I would sell my mother to a band of camel traders to get a contract. And that's just the beginning of my confessions. Scroll down for the rest of the dirt...

1.  I day dream about my characters at my job.  
2. Sometimes I practise my signature to make it look pretty and interesting so I'll be ready for book signings.



Alex Pettyfer in 'Beastly'.

3. I've already cast the movie they'll base on my novel. Alex *cough* Pettyfer.
4. I stalk the YA section of the bookstore and stare at the spot where my novel would be shelved alphabetically. After I randomly pick a book and flip through a few pages, I always get depressed because I'll never write that well. Last week a clerk at the Chapters noticed me. "Can I help you?" she asked. "You look disappointed." In so many ways, I thought, in so many ways.
5. Publishers Markertplace is code for awesome stuff that happens to other people who aren't me. 
6. I'm convinced my agent is part of an elaborate ruse backed up by my family as revenge for all the practical jokes I've played on them. 

 So, if you see me slouched in the YA section, just give me a sympathetic nod, pat me on the shoulder and say, "Don't worry deary, someday you'll be an Arthur."

Do you have any confessions?

Next Monday I'll be blogging the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.

Cheers!