Which Storybrooke Bachelor Is Your Best Match?

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Emma Swan can't have all the eye candy in Storybrooke. But with so many eligible characters to choose from, which guy is the best match for you?

Well wonder no more, check the personality quiz I created on Quibblo to help you solve this romantic conundrum.

I tested myself and got the Sheriff so  obviously it works flawlessly.

Good luck! Click here for the quiz.





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Once Upon A Time Season 3, Episode 3, "Quite A Common Fairy"

Or better title "It Sucks to be Mulan"



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Emma and the gang follow her magical orphan map, but Peter Pan's camp keeps moving, making them roam around in circles.

Back at Rumpelstiltskin castle, Neil searches the magic cupboard to find something to make a portal so he can get to Neverland. Robin Hood puts a wet blanket on the situation by saying it's a crazy pants idea. Mulan rolls her eyes at the guys, wishing she was fighting a dragon somewhere. The Merry Men come into the room. Robin's son, Rolland, rushes into his father's arms. Neil lights up with an idea.

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Robin Hood, much better looking than the last guy.

Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE) mentions Tinkerbell can help them find the camp, plus she has pixie dust, which everyone knows is way more powerful than regular fairy dust. David is encouraged by this because his wound from the previous night's sword fight is getting worse. CSE tells him it's poisoned and he'll probably be dead soon. Regina warns them Tinkerbell is no ordinary fairy.

A newly wed, Queen Regina quarrels with Rumpelstiltskin—she's sick of her dark magic lessons and hates her life with the King and his insipid daughter, little Snow White. She's still bitter about the stable boy being killed by her mother, which she totally blames on Snow White.

*cough* plot hole *cough*

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She's desperate to escape her life, and ends up half jumping/half falling off her balcony. But before she hits the stones below, Tinkerbell flies out from nowhere and saves her. The next logical step is for the two of them to bond over a couple of pints in an outdoor tavern. Tinkerbell feels sorry for Regina and her loveless marriage. She offers up the power of pixie dust to help her fall in love again.

While CSE leads the others to Tinkerbell's lair, Regina tries to convince Emma that they can combine their magic to defeat Peter Pan. Emma doesn't take her up on it because all magic comes at a price.

Why didn't they try that the very first night. Or when they were fighting the Lost Boys. Or when... oh never mind.

Peter Pan shows Henry a poisoned bow and arrow and orders him to shoot an apple off the head of one of the Lost Boys. Henry is shaking in his boots. Instead, he aims at Peter Pan who manages to catch the arrow in mid-air because he's so badass and dark and powerful.


I can't help but notice that Henry has grown a lot over the summer. He's supposed to be ten but he's getting closer to like fourteen.

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Tinkerbell travels to the land of giant tulips. The Blue Fairy reprimands her for trying to help Regina, who everyone knows has been taking lessons with The Dark One. She refuses Tinkerbell any pixie dust and forbids her from helping Regina—but Tinkerbell steals some anyway.
 
Neil tries to convince Robin Hood that his son, Rolland can summon the Dark Shadow that steals little boys from their bedroom windows. That way Neil can grab on for a free ride to Neverland. Robin Hood will not budge until Neil reminds him Rumpelstiltskin once saved his wife's life, and he relents.
 
That's the magic of the logic of Once Upon A Time.

Regina stays behind, not wanting to see Tinkerbell. The others go on without her, but this proves not to be a great idea, when Tinkerbell comes out from behind a huge paper mache rock and blows unconscious dust in her face.

Tinkerbell visits Queen Regina and they take a ride with the stolen pixie dust.

Yee-haw!

The dust makes a trail to a village where apparently Regina's happiness is waiting for her. They peek through the tavern window and zero in on the luminescent dude with a lion tattoo on his forearm. That's the guy who will make her happy. That's the guy she is destined to be with. Regina opens the door...then runs away.

Oh man! The commercial for the Toy Story Halloween special looks AWESOME.

Sorry, I digress.

CSE and the others find Tinkerbell's tree house is empty. They channel Scooby Doo and quickly figure out Tinkerbell has been tracking them and has probably captured Regina.

Regina realizes Tinkerbell doesn't have magic and is therefore not a threat. But Tinkerbell grabs a deadly thorn from the deadly thorn bush that's maybe called shadow bane—I'm not sure and I was too lazy to rewind. Anyway, Regina doesn't even flinch. She rips out her own heart and thrusts it in Tinkerbell's hand, calling her bluff.

Say what you will, but that move took balls.

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 Queen Regina lies to Tinkerbell and says the man with the lion tattoo was not her true love, in fact he was horrible. But Tinkerbell sees through her act. Regina then confesses she was in love before, but doesn't want to be hurt again. Tinkerbell is upset because she stole for Regina!

What the heck will she do now?!

The Blue Fairy catches up to Tinkerbell and gets all Mother Superior in her face for betraying her trust; she no longer believes in her. Tinkerbell loses her wings and falls to the ground.

While Tinkerbell clutches her heart, Regina said she left without seeing her true love because she was afraid to be happy. She thought without her anger she'd be weak. So she chose revenge over hope, and it made her heart black.

Tinkerbell gives Regina her heart back, but says it's took late to save Henry because he's been with Peter Pan for too long.

Peter Pan tells Henry that Neverland runs on magic. People have stopped believing around the world and considering he's the truest believer, it's his job to make the world believe again. He is the only one who can save Neverland. Henry isn't convinced.

Hmm...wouldn't that make him a non-believer?

While Rolland is situated to go up as bait Neil gives everyone a lesson about making sure you tell the one you love how you truly feel. Mulan nods knowingly because she's hot for Prince Phillip, Aurora's fella.

Rolland stands up against the bedroom window and says, “I believe.” The window bangs open, and the shadow flies in. Mulan does some sword work to make sure Rolland isn't dragged off. Neil grabs hold and he's off to Neverland.

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Seeing how fantastic she is with a sword, Robin Hood offers Mulan a place among his Merry Men, but she declines his offer and rushes off to see Phillip, ready to lay her heart at his feet. She arrives to see Aurora glowing with news that she and Phillip are preggers. Mulan is visible crushed. She tells Aurora she's joining Robin Hood after all.

Good to have a back up plan.

The others find Regina and Tinkerbell, they offer her a ride back to the Enchanted forest if she helps them find Peter Pan's camp. She breaks it to them she has no pixie dust, but she can still convince Peter Pan to let her into his hideaway.

David tries to put on a brave face while he imagines the clock ticking down. No fairy dust, no cure.

Too bad no one believes in her because that's where all her magic comes from. I bet that's not going to come up again.

Neil gets dropped by the Dark Shadow and is immediately met by one of the Lost Boys.

Tinkerbell asks Regina about the man with the lion tattoo and tells her it was selfish she didn't go in to meet him because she ended up ruining his life as well.

 Mulan enters the camp and shakes Robin Hood's hand accepting his offer, and what do you know....lion tattoo.

So this means Mulan will probably fall in love with this dude, only to lose him to Regina when they all eventually end up meeting in a vortex. Like I said, it sucks to be Mulan.

The Bachelorette Season 9, Episode 7 “Like, Love, and Mr. Lonely"

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Des and the boys go to Madeira Island!

She says this is a pivotal week to see how the guys really feel about her.

Um, I think they like you. That's the whole point of signing up for the show.

Des has invited some pals from last season's The Bachelor to help her decide.

What?

Catherine is there with her BIG engagement ring, plus the one with red hair and a blond chick. Catherine talks about how she and Sean are each others best friend.

Who cares? I've moved on.

Des needs advice about the guys who are left. The blond one says, “It's nice that you like them, but are you falling in love with anyone?”

Good question.

Des confirms that yes indeed, she is in love...with one of them.

The guys come out for some swimsuit time and the girls get out the binoculars. Immediately they let Des know which one they would pick. They ask Des very important questions about each guy.

Here are the results:

           Drew, best kisser and most outrageous abs.                
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Drew is the best kisser.

Michael is the most successful.

Chris is the most athletic.

Drew has the best body.

Zak is the most adventurous.

And she guesses Chris may have the biggest man part.

Well, I think that covers it.

Brooks is chosen to go on a solo date.

Chris says it's obvious they have a connection and it makes him nervous.

I guess he doesn't know he has the biggest, ahem...asset of the group.

Des and Brooks travel to the edge of a cliff.

How is ABC going to give them a private concert on a cliff?

Then they discuss the difference between like and love—there's a lot of awkward giggling. They take a drive way up to the top of the clouds.

During the picnic, Brooks and Des seem like they're trying hard to convince each other they're in love, or falling in love, or ready to fall in love.

Then they talk about clouds...a lot.

 

Their evening dinner date consists of Des talking about falling in love. I'm too distracted by Brooks's creepy Freddy Kruger sweater.

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Brooks talks about his family and gets weepy.

Just like their other solo date.

Des makes it obvious she's falling in love, but he tells the camera he's a few steps behind. When she asks if he wants her to meet his family, he takes a long pause then says, “Yeah.”

Poor Des.

Chris gets the next solo date. And he is super excited! He's ready to propose.

Take that Brooks and your stupid sweater.

They take a yacht to a deserted island, but still have time to slather sunscreen on each other and make out.

They have a picnic on a flowery bank. When they drink all the wine, Chris suggests they write a message and put it in the empty bottle. They create a poem together about love. It sounds very grade ten, but he's a mortgage broker, so well done.

Then Chris tells us he has something to share with Des.

His big...secret?

It's time for the candlelit dinner. Chris is ready to tell Des that he's in love with her. After a lot of sweating and talk about kids and families, he whips out his...poem.

Oh my nerves. Another poem.

At the end, he finally tells her he loves her.

Des tells us he has all the qualities she's looking for.

Yeah, we know. He has a big personality.

Michael gets to go on the next solo date. They explore the local shops.
 

                                                        

Mr. Lonely

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I'm confused. Why isn't she out with Drew? I really like Drew.

They have a little wine on a private bench with a waterfall in the background.

I'm shocked no one has said, 'amazing' yet.

Des is worried that she hasn't seen any vulnerability from him.

He stares at his salad and tells her how grateful he is for the time they spent today. He talks about his family and he assures Des, his mom would totally love her. Then he brings up the diabetes again.

Des says, “Michael is always positive.”

Except when he has to go on dates with Ben.

Michael then tells her about his big break-up with his last girlfriend, and how he's been Mr. Lonely for the last year and a half. But he confides that he's feeling all the feels with her, and it's lovely, happy times.  

Des eats it up.

Drew and Zak are going on the two on one date with Des. Both dudes are psyched to get the date rose.

They arrive at a go-cart race track. Des makes things exciting by telling the guys whoever wins the next face gets a surprise. Zak is a speed demon and wins the race.

All three enjoy a picnic, or rather Des enjoys having two guys constantly vie for her attention. Zak's big prize is to meet with Des first.

Hey, don't worry, Drew. Des has lots of practice making out with guys one after the other.

Zak shows her his sketch book with his drawings of all their dates.

Don't forget Zak is the dude who came out of the limo with no shirt.

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Next, it's Drew's turn.

One of Drew's qualities is that he is very articulate. If anyone can woe her with words, it's him. And he does. Nothing says, I love you like whispering 'I love you' right before you kiss her.

*Swoon*

Des give the rose to Drew.

And the peasants rejoice.

The rose ceremony is next!

Des has a little chat with the host. She tells him Drew is definitely husband material, but she begins to cry when she admits to being in love with Brooks.

Maybe she's crying because he doesn't love her.

Or maybe she's crying because Brooks doesn't have Chris's personality...in his pants.

Brooks gets the first rose. Chris gets the next one. It's down to Michael and Zak!

Zak gets the last rose.

Michael, the prosecutor from Miami, who just learned to love again is once again crushed by cruel Cupid and his cruel ways. He does his best to lay on the guilt about how much his mom would have loved her and how no girl from now on will ever, EVER measure up to Des.

“I wish you the best,” he says.

Case closed.

Mr. Lonely calls him mom from the limo, and he's crying about how he's tired of woman breaking his heart.

Oh dear.

Happily Ever After; Dating Service For Fictional Characters, Session One

 

Welcome to Happily Ever After!  

It doesn't matter if you're a hero or a zero on the pages, our on-line dating service will help you find your soul mate.

We'll have you picking out matching bookmarks before you can say, 'library late fees'.

The chat room is about to get started! Let's see who's looking for love today.

Moderator: Hello, everyone. I see we have a new person in the chat room tonight. Go ahead, don't by shy. Tell us a little about yourself.

Elizabeth Bennet: I am pleased to make everyone's acquaintance this evening. I'm not the kind of girl who usually puts herself out there, but recent events in my family have pushed me into a position where I must find a suitable husband. I really don't want to get married—at least not purely for monetary reasons, but we're in a bit of a stitch in Longbourn and I need to keep roof over my family's head.

Katniss Everdeen: In order to save your family your plan is to marry rich? That's quite a sacrifice you're making.

Elizabeth Bennet: But if I had a choice, I would only marry for love.

Edward Cullen: I've never been in love...it's a human emotion.

Katniss Everdeen: I hunt squirrels in the woods with Gale. He's cool and the other girls think he's hot...I guess he is. I'm too starving to notice.

Holden Caulfield: I'm not into anybody. Well, no wait. I like girls. I really like girls. And guys too. Well, no not in that way. I mean I can appreciate how swell a guy looks all dressed up for a date, but...yeah. Hey, listen, I like girls. All of them.

Victor Frankenstein: I kind of have an on again off again thing with my cousin.

Elizabeth Bennet: ?

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth is such a beautiful name.

Elizabeth Bennet: Thank you, Mr. Cullen. May I ask you what you're looking for in a lady?

Edward Cullen: Oh, the usual I suppose; good manners, a nice smile, the kind who agrees to be taken away from her family and friends so she can be available to my every whim. I want a girl who does whatever I say and loves all the same things I do.

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm perplexed, Mr. Cullen. Even by societal standards of the 1800's, your ideas are positively primeval.

Katniss Everdeen: Would you feed her, though?

Edward Cullen: I'm not sure why that's important, Katniss?

Holden Caulfield: It sounds like Kat has a fear of commitment.

Moderator: Here's a fun twist. Perhaps everyone can talk about their fears as a way of getting to know each other. Why don't you start Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Bennet: Having to marry my cousin, Mr. Collins.

Victor Frankenstein: Hey! I resent that. There's nothing wrong with marrying family. My cousin happens to be really hot.

Edward Cullen: I fear the sun...it makes me all sparkly.

Holden Caulfield: Puberty.

Moderator: Katniss? What about you?

Katniss Everdeen: The only thing I'm afraid of is being picked to join a bloody reality show where I'll have to fight other kids to the death.

Elizabeth Bennet: Pardon me!? Surely there's something that can be done to stop this pointless blood-fest?

Edward Cullen: Did you say blood?

Victor Frankenstein: Do you suppose there might be some spare parts? You know, like a hand or foot, one might be able to take after the festivities?

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm not sure I'm in the right chat room.

Holden Caulfield: Don't worry, Lizzie. These guys are all a bunch of phonies. Every single one of them. Why don't you and I take off? I know a swell bar downtown that sells the best rye and ginger. What do you say? Do you like dancing?

Edward Cullen: Drop that punk, Elizabeth. You'll only end up hurt with a scraped knee. I play the piano and drive fast. But you'll always be perfectly safe with me—even though I repeatedly tell you I'm fighting every instinct to expose your innards to my fangs.

Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, dear! Papa is calling for me. I must make haste and take my leave.

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth?

Victor Frankenstein: Katniss, when does this reality show begin? It sounds fascinating. I'd like to hear more about it. Perhaps you can join me at my family's chateau for tea?

Katniss Everdeen: Will there be food with the tea?

Victor Frankenstein: Of course. Cook always prepares an extra special buffet for guests.

Katniss Everdeen: Count me in.

Edward Cullen: Elizabeth?

Holden Caulfield: She left! You and your phony attitude drove her away. You're rotten.

Holden Caulfield: Edward?

Holden Caufield: Anyone???

Moderator: Sign off, Holden.

Holden: You're all a bunch of phonies!

How To Find Love In The Bookstore

 

The self help section, obviously.
photo credit, weheartit.com

Listen up, potential Romeos! 

Some men think the club/dance bar is the best place to find the next potential lover. However, since I haunt the aisles of my local bookstore and the library on a regular basis, I've noticed a lot of flirting going on.

If you're in the mood for love between the covers—see what I did there? Between the covers. It could mean bed sheets or the pages of a book.

*Clears throat* Ahem, sorry.

Anywho, here are the top ten ways to help any guy find love in the bookstore.

1. "I think you dropped this copy of Pride and Prejudice. I know it's not mine, I own the first print edition.

2. "Excuse me, do you know where I can find, Decorating Your Mansion For Dummies?"

3. Don't say anything. Walk around with Fifty Shades of Grey tucked under your arm while making eye contact and biting your lip.

4. "That's quite an impressive stack you've got. Can I help carry your books?"

5. "I wish they sold these bookcases. My library at home already takes up two rooms."

6. "Can you recommend a good read for a newly divorced millionaire?"

7. "Let's get a coffee and talk about how Katniss is way more awesome than Bella."

8. "You're a writer? Just for fun, let's list who you'd want to cast in the movie version."

9. "You know, I feel sad for kids who watch the Harry Potter movies without reading the books."

10. "I'll buy you any book you want, which I promise to also read. Then I'll treat you to a Trenta sized Caramel Macchiato while we discuss the character development in detail."

Which one would work on you?

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