When people learn I have a literary agent, they usually ask two things. "What's your book about and when will it be published?"
The first one is easy. "YA paranormal romance," I reply. Then I explain that getting published is hard work, lots of luck and good timing. "It would be nice," I shrug, "but it's been really interesting seeing this side of the industry."
Here's the truth. I want to get published so bad I can taste it. I would sell my mother to a band of camel traders to get a contract. And that's just the beginning of my confessions. Scroll down for the rest of the dirt...
- I day dream about my characters at my job.
- Sometimes I practise my signature to make it look pretty and interesting so I'll be ready for book signings.
- I've already cast the movie they'll base on my novel. Alex *cough* Pettyfer.
- I stalk the YA section of the bookstore and stare at the spot where my novel would be shelved alphabetically. After I randomly pick a book and flip through a few pages, I always get depressed because I'll never write that well. Last week a clerk at the Chapters noticed me. "Can I help you?" she asked. "You look disappointed." In so many ways, I thought, in so many ways.
- Publishers Markertplace is code for awesome stuff that happens to other people who aren't me.
- I'm convinced my agent is part of an elaborate ruse backed up by my family as revenge for all the practical jokes I've played on them.
|Alex Pettyfer in 'Beastly'.|
Do you have any confessions?
Next Monday I'll be blogging the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.