The mid-season premiere opens with Emma waking up in her yellow bug. Neal pops up from the backseat and explains this is his happily ever after and he's totally content to live in the abandoned amusement park by himself.
Instead of embracing her former true love she tells Neal she's going to the Underworld to rescue Hook. There's a little awkward stepping around the fact she didn't consider doing the same with Neal.
Anyway, he warns her not to go.
Emma, her parents, Regina, Mr. Gold, and Henry arrive in the Underworld and it looks just like Storybrooke...except everything is filmed through a red lens and everyone has shifty eyes.
Emma is full and questions and so am I? Why does the Underworld look exactly like Storybrooke?
But Mr. Gold says, "Your questions are pointless."
True, dat. This is OUAT after all.
In a flashback to the Enchanted forest, the Evil Queen confronts a group of villages who won't give away the hiding place of Snow White. Then she returns to her castle and complains to her dad about how her birthday stinks bigtime.
Back in the Underworld we learn that Cora is in charge.
Although, didn't Regina take out all the darkness of her heart and give it back to her? Why hasn't she moved on like Neal?
Meanwhile at Underworld Granny's, Mary Margaret is kissed passionately by David, except it turns out it's his twin, James.
This is AWESOME!!! I can only imagine the twists and shenanigans we'll be enjoying now that rascally, James is in town. But instead of building up that fun story line, we have to listen to Cora painfully explain to Regina that she has to high tail it out of the Underworld or Cora will be forced to start burning people to death.
Um...what? Why? How can you burn people who are already dead?
Back at the Underworld Pawn Shop, Mr. Gold runs into Peter Pan. This is great news because I loved these two battling it out. And now that Henry is a bit older since the last time they met, the dynamics will be interesting to watch.
Instead, Pan hands over a random vial of potion to Mr. Gold that lets people talk to the dead once it's poured over their graves.
Why would people have graves in the Underworld if they're walking around the Underworld?
Speaking of graves, Mr. Gold meets Emma at Hook's tombstone. Apparently the Underworld is no match for a famous pirate who used to be the Dark One. And of course, the potion doesn't completely work and they can only see Hook, not speak with him.
Don't look too long at this gif, it will cause seizures.
However, Regina has better luck over her dad's grave...
How come the potion worked for him?
For a character that's had hardly any mention in the last four seasons, Henry Senior gets several monologues! He tells Regina not to leave the Underworld, but to stay and help her friends.
Meanwhile in the flashback, Cora has somehow out magicked herself from Wonderland and steals Snow White's heart. She then gives this token to Regina as a birthday present. But when Regina watches Snow White through the magic mirror, she doesn't die while Regina squeezes the enchanted heart, instead one of the guards collapses.
It seems Henry switched enchanted hearts.
Okay, WTF, people? Henry also has the ability to rip out hearts?!?
Miffed that her only birthday present turned out to be a dud, Evil Regina shrinks her dad and puts him in a box. Then she banishes Cora back to Wonderland, maybe for good this time, who knows? However, Cora grabs the little box containing little Henry.
But then, when Regina banished Cora back to Wonderland, Cora took Regina's dad with her.
Back in the Underworld, even though Regina's parents are giving her opposite advice, they keep explaining what will happen although I'm not entirely sure what is going on. Why will Cora be forced to burn people?
I wonder what Neal is doing in the abandoned amusement park?
Anyway, when Regina decides to stay in the Underworld, the fire around her dad disappears and a bridge to heaven appears for Henry senior to ascend. There was a touching moment when Henry junior meets Henry senior. But this whole point felt forced and I didn't enjoy it as much as the usual
'Regina epiphany' moments.
And then we're left with this cliffhanger...
Darn. New villain for Mr. Gold and Emma and Regina to make a temporary alliance to defend. Just like last season...and the season before that...and the season before...
Which villain are you hoping to see the next episode?
Zalena arrives at Regina's for a
little sisterly chit chat.
Regina's wearing a blue dress! She never wears colour!
Zalena enjoys Regina's fancy house and they beat the, 'I'm jealous because you got all the good stuff and I got nothing' motive. Then she tells Regina she'll never know their mother's secret. Regina rolls her eyes. Then Zalena says, "Guess what The Dark One is getting in the forest right now?"
Regina's face loses its colour. "My heart!"
Working under Zalena's orders, Mr. Gold stands in the middle of Robin Hood's camp.
Aw, he's literally protecting her heart. Robin Hood + Regina = Robina
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Robin Hood threatens Mr. Gold with the arrow that always hits its mark. But gosh darn it, Robin Hood's son wanders into the camp.
Mr. Gold regretfully changes the direction of the arrow so that it's an inch from Robin Hood's son.
Robin Hood has no choice but to give
Regina's heart to Mr. Gold.
Regina arrives and confides to Robin Hood (and us)
that since she's still alive, Zalena must have something totally
horrible planned for her heart.
Hasn't she been saying that all along? Why would this be a surprise?
Anyway, Regina goes to Mr. Gold's shop and begins to ransack the place, desperate for something to help her uncover Cora's secret. Belle is disgusted when Regina asks for help. She says, “Why would I help you? You physically
and mentally tortured me for years.”
Regina has no time to explain that she's not the villain this season, instead she says, "Hey, I'm trying to help unchain your boyfriend from Zalena. Don't you want your Rumple back?"
There are so many weird jokes going through my mind right now...
Belle says she doesn't know if she can trust her since Zalena has her heart. No problemo, Regina shrugs, it's charmed so Zalena can't control her.
Phew, that was a close plot hole.
Regina's eyes sparkle when she sees the candle Mary Margaret used to kill Cora. "Now I'll learn my mother's secret!" she says.
In a grimy pub we see a young Cora working to earn extra money. She's caught the eye of a young handsome
man. He confesses his love for her and she's flattered. Then he lets it slip he's a Prince in disguise, searching for a woman of true heart—she captured his heart without even knowing he was royalty!
He ties a bit of straw around her
finger and promises to come back in two weeks and turn that straw into
gold and marry her for reals.
Gee, I hope nothing bad happens.
Then he adds shyly that two weeks without seeing her will be torture. She mentions that since they're practically
married...and he has a room upstairs already paid for...you know...
Mary Margaret, David, Hook, and Emma go to Regina's house to
do a séance in order for Regina to find out her mother's secret past.
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Zalena places Regina's heart in a trunk with Charming's sword of courage. There's another box beside the sword which I'm guessing is waiting for Mr. Gold's brain.
She greats Mr. Gold in his cage and tells him to get dressed up for a special dinner. They sneer at each other and she lets him know she has plans for Snow White's baby.
Ew.
Regina has changed from her blue dress into a white blouse.
I guess the colour change was too much for the whole day.
Everyone sits around the table. She lights both ends of the death candle. They all hold hands...well and a hook. She tells them to concentrate on Cora.
Lights flicker! There's a crack of
thunder and a blue vortex opens in the ceiling. Regina demands her mother give her a sign.
Um, there's a tornado in the ceiling.
Hook hits the table while crossing his legs and everything goes back to normal. Regina is totally miffed the moment is lost. "Whatever secrets
she has buried in her past, she wants to keep there."
Way to go, Hook. You ruined everything. Why can't you sit still?
Young Cora waits in the rain on the roadside with
her straw ring, but the Prince does not show up. She
travels through the wet forest until she reaches the palace. She finds him taking shelter in a gazebo.
He doesn't look happy to see her. She explains that she's been waiting for him for two months. She notices his boots are muddied. He's not a
prince! He's the palace gardener!
He says, "Whatever, you had a good time."
Then she tells him she's pregnant and demands money to help support the baby.
He laughs at her. She calls for the guards, saying she's being attacked. He pushes her
down, then runs away. Cora stays crumpled on the ground. A kind man comes along. He helps her up, and introduces himself as Prince Leopold.
FYI, Prince Leopold was Snow White's father.
Everyone leaves Regina's house post séance except for
Snow White.
Weird things start to happen in the house but they don't notice because they're busy sorting out their mother/daughter issues.
Prince Leopold and Cora chat and charm each
other. He confesses he doesn't feel sure enough to be
king. He says that once he becomes king he has to produce an heir
immediately. He's betrothed to someone he's never met, someone called
Princess Ava. He's clearly smitten with Cora and wishes he could marry her instead.
Mary Margaret apologizes again for killing Cora. Regina admits that it's complicated.
Yep.
Regina wonders why her mother gave up Zalena and why she never mentioned she had a sister. The house answers with a creepy sound from the upstairs. She and Mary Margaret discover the ghost of Cora. And she's super mad.
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Emma practices magic at Granny's
pub/diner/laundromat but Hook isn't in the mood to applaud her efforts. She asks what's bothering him but he stays quiet since this episode has nothing to do with his kissing curse.
Belle bursts in, hugging a large volume.
She slaps down the spell book on the table and announces she knows what Zalena is up to.
Zalena has a candle light diner with Mr. Gold. She
tells him Neal is still alive and she can bring them together.
How? Where?
More like, when. Zalena explains she's unraveled the trick to time travel. Mr. Gold is amazed. She's going back to time to take what's
rightfully hers and promises Mr. Gold can find his son. He gets all dreamy eyed and says he'll have a second chance to never give him up.
Cora's ghost pushes Regina out of the way, trying to avenge her killer. Regina pulls a Ghostbuster trick to keep
her at bay.
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Young Cora sits in the royal gazebo admiring her engagement ring. The
palace gardener shows up and demands cash and jewels for his silence
about the baby. She promises to meet him in the great hall with the payment, but the conversation is
overheard by Princes Ava.
Hold on. If Prince Leopold is marrying someone else why
is Princess Ava even there?
Regina demands answers from her mother. Cora's ghost enters Mary Margaret and she sees what happened.
Young Cora goes to the great hall, but she finds Prince Leopold waiting for her. He tells her he's heard a rumour that she's
pregnant. But he's okay with that. As long as she tells him the truth he knows he can trust her...he says he'll marry her anyway.
Well, that sounds easy. Tell him the truth about how the gardener tricked you. The gardener will get sacked and you'll live happily ever after.
Instead, Cora lies and tells him she's not pregnant.
Princess Ava comes out from the shadows. She tells Prince Leopold to
check her pockets for the jewelry and gold she promised to the
gardener.
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Busted!
The palace guards take her away. Princess Ava tells Prince Leopold he deserves to have a child with someone who is pure as snow.
I loath that line.
Regina uses magic to blast Cora's ghost out of Mary Margaret. Everyone is worried about the baby. Belle arrives with Emma and Hook. She tells them Zalena is
collecting items to help her go back in time.
But why, they wonder.
Mary Margaret comes out of her daze and lets them know her
mother, Princess Ava is the one who let out the secret of Cora's pregnancy.
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Cora was
forced to give up Zalena because as an unwed mother she can never be more that a
Miller's daughter.
She leaves her in a basket in the woods.
*Cue the green tornado*
It's now clear to everyone that Zalena will go back in time and kill
Snow White's mother BEFORE she lets out the big secret.
Mr. Gold and Zalena drink wine and
toast each other on their super awesome plan to go back in time. Mr.
Gold starts to make out with Zalena.
Ew. Please stop, ABC. Just, stop.
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He reaches for her dagger, but she moves too quickly. He vows
to kill her. She orders him back to his cage and promises he'll never
see his son again. And then she cries because she likes him?!?!
Regina and Mary Margaret clean up the
mess ghost Cora made. They talk about how complicated their histories
are. "Let's stop being haunted by our past."
Regina's still upset about not having a heart and having the whole town think she's still bad.
Mary Margaret glows because she loves any excuse to talk about the power of love. She tells her, "You don't need your heart, you feel everything with your soul. You still have worth."
So, what can you do with soul?
Regina goes to Robin Hood's camp in the middle of the forest. He's all alone by the fire. He promises
to get her heart back. She answers him with a kiss. Then he kisses
her back. Then she kisses him back. And then they lose count and just keep making out.
Whoo-hoo! Robina!
Need more Storybrooke?You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.
Is it any wonder that the creators of LOST have us once again scratching our heads? But the 'write as we go' method seems to be working out, partly because the first season was so good that we're already invested in the characters...and some of us are still hoping a certain Sheriff will return permanently *ahem.*
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However, there are some plot holes that are too glaringly ridiculous to ignore.
#1. If Regina is the daughter of Cora and a Prince, she would already be royalty. So why did Cora plan and execute an elaborate plan (ie: kill another Queen, spook little Snow White's horse etc...) when Regina was already set to inherit a kingdom?
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#2. Where did the "Once Upon A Time" story book come from? Mary Margaret gave the book to Henry, but where did she find it?
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#3. How did Hook find Neil's apartment so easily? He just happened to defy the laws of physics and sail to New York from Maine in a day? And then he just happened to find Mr. Gold in a city of over eight million people?
What does he have to say for himself?
#4. What is up with Tamara and her super powerful tazer? How can she electrocute and kill a man made of wood? Shouldn't she have set August on fire instead?
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#5. So August abandoned baby Emma, then traveled the world for the next twenty-eight years until he ended up in Hong Kong? Did he forget all about the curse until he started to turn to wood?
BONUS! If no one could enter or leave Storybrooke, how did Henry ever manage to get adopted by Regina?
What plot holes drive you crazy about Once Upon A Time?
The village miller is a layabout who relies heavily on his teenage daughter to run the family business. She's supposed to look poor, but there's about three hundred dollars worth of filler in those lips.
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Anyway, the poor but glamorous miller's daughter delivers flour to the castle where she is tripped by a snotty royal. They all laugh as the King makes her bow and apologize. She tells the King her name is Cora.
Faster than magic, Emma, Baefire, Henry and Mr. Gold have stolen Hook's ship and are sailing from New York back to Storybrooke.
The ridiculousness of this makes me want to drink. "Hey, it's Miller time!"
Because they've used a phone tap, the Mayor and Cora listen in as David relays the above mentioned gang to Mary Margaret.
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As Rumpelstiltskin's name slowly fades from the dagger, Cora realizes that he's dying and if he dies all the power of the Dark One vanishes. She comes up with a plan to stab Mr. Gold so she can be the next Dark One.
The Mayor gets the shivers and brings up the fact Henry may not want to have the Dark One as a grandmother. Finally she asks Cora, “What was is all the point of this?”
I ask myself that every episode. *takes a sip of beer*
Cora vows to never bow down to anyone again.
There is a masked ball at the castle, and young Cora sneaks in. She quickly finds the Prince and charms him with her puffy lips. Before he can fall in love, the King takes her aside and calls her out as the Miller's daughter. He picks a piece of straw from her gown to prove his point.
Everyone knows that straw makes flour. *takes another sip*
She quickly tells him she can spin straw to gold....and well, you know the rest. If she can produce gold after one night while locked in the high tower, the King promises her the Prince's hand in marriage.
David and Mary Margaret meet Mr. Gold and the gang on the docks. She takes the opportunity to let everyone know she plans on killing Cora. David reminds her that she can't commit murder since she has the purest heart.
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Cora stands in a room full of straw trying to come up with a plan. A giggle from the corner announces Rumpelstiltskin. She argues with the little flecked dude until he spins her some gold. He tempts her with a contract to hand over her first born child. But Cora senses an opportunity and she asks him to teach her his dark magic instead.
Mr. Gold is back at his shop instructing everyone on how to keep the shop magically protected. Mary Margaret finds the 'death candle' that can save someones life if another dies. He tells her it's for a rainy day. He proposes that she use the candle to save him and kill Cora.
But it's not that easy, she has to say it over Cora's heart (which isn't in her chest but hidden somewhere) and then the heart has to be thrust back into her cavity, so she can slowly die.
Okay. Got that? Me neither. *takes a sip*
Mary Margaret rebuts back that she could take Cora's heart and thereby control her to do good things while she lets Mr. Gold die. He chuckles and says she'd never let Henry's grandfather die.
Why not? David is his other grandfather. *takes a sip*
Gold convinces Emma she has the ability to cast a spell and protect the shop. And yup, just like that she does it.
Back in the tower, Rumpelstiltskin shows young Cora how to spill straw into gold by harnessing all her hatred for the royal family and how they made her bow down. The next morning, the King is amazed by Cora's ability. The Prince proposes and she accepts while Rumpelstiltskin watches from the crowd.
Inside Mr. Gold's shop things start to get rocky when Cora and the Mayor stand outside doing their best flame throwing. They burst through the front door, like the evil tag team champs they are. Mary Margaret takes this opportunity to sneak out the back.
A battle of tossing people through the air and purple smoke ensue for a few minutes. David is tossed out of the shop. Emma and Baefire manage to battle them off and put up a barrier. Cora starts to feel weak. She tells the Mayor to get to her vault of hearts speedy quick.
Young Cora is dressed in her wedding finery. Rumpelstiltskin arrives and they kiss (ew) and make a deal. She wants to learn all the dark magic and promises to run away with him and give him his own son.
Mary Margaret finds Cora's heart among dozens of other chests. How does she know it's hers?
Not important. *takes a sip*
She lights the death candle over the heart and...and...whispers, "Cora".
Princess Cora meets with the King who is busy counting all his new gold.
The King was in the parlor counting all his money.
She tells him she doesn't love his son. He says, “Love is weakness. You have a choice. Run off with the dark imp, or stay with my son and wear a crown on your head with the kingdom at your feet.”
Things that make you go, 'hmm?'
Emma and Baefire can see that Mr. Gold is dying. He begs Emma for her cell phone and calls Belle (still in the mental ward) to let her know he's dying. He gushes for awhile about how awesome she is and how she made him a changed man.
The love is all around the room as Mr. Gold apologizes to Baefire and Emma holds back the tears. Finally the dudes hug.
The Mayor catches Mary Margaret with Cora's heart. Mary Margaret offers it to the Mayor saying Cora will love her properly if she has her heart back. “The choice is yours," she tells the Mayor. "You'll have a mother that can love you with her whole heart, or you can have Cora become the Dark One.”
Rumpelstiltskin meets Princess Cora in the moonlight. He senses things have changed. She tells him she didn't rip out the Kings heart and has decided to marry the Prince instead of running away with him.
Instead, she took out her own heart and now carries it around in a box, 'cause that's the way she rolls now.
Rumpelstiltskin is aghast (I love that word).
David finds Mary Margaret outside the tomb with her head in her hands mumbling about how horrible she has become.
Cora finally breaks through the barrier and rushes to the back of Mr. Gold's shop. She whisks Emma and Baefire to the woods and sits with him for a chat about love and ripping out hearts. She looks at him longingly and says, “You're the only man I've only ever truly loved.”
She raises the dagger to stab him, but then crumples to the floor. There is a gasp, then she starts to smile. Laughing, she looks at the Mayor who is blushing in the corner from the surprise heart transplant attack.
Princess Cora presents her baby daughter, Regina to the court and watches with satisfaction as the court bows down. Kind of reminds of The Lion King...
Cora collapses into the Mayor's arms and dies. Mary Margaret rushes in with a warning but it's too late. Mr. Gold stands up fully healed, the dagger now emblazoned with his name again. The Mayor does the math and realizes Mary Margaret tricked her.
A young Snow White approaches her mother, the Queen, super excited about her upcoming royal birthday. The Queen promises to give her a gift that was once her grandmother's and will now be passed down to her.
When Snow White and the Queen enter her room they catch one of the servants trying on a tiara.
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It's Mrs. Padmore from Downton! Hi Mrs. Padmore!
But the Queen insists on calling her Johanna.
Snow White chastises Johanna, but the Queen Mother steps in and demands that Snow apologize. Then there's a long speech about how she has to rule the kingdom with kindness and goodness in her heart...or something like that.
Suddenly the Queen Mother collapses and Johanna runs to fetch Carson.
Mary Margaret and David argue over the fact that she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, mumbling something about a curse.
OMG! That again! I'm so sick of everyone blaming the curse.
There's a present left anonymously for Mary Margaret, and it's the tiara. The card is signed from Johanna.
When David arrives at the Sheriff's station he finds Schmexy waiting for him!!
Just kidding.
Hook is there instead. He easily knocks David out—he's so manly he only needs one hand, and steals his set of keys. Hook searches the office like a madman, unlocking every cabinet.
Actually he opens one drawer and finds exactly what he wants—his hook.
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Mary Margaret finds Johanna gardening in front of her home. Johanna explains how she saw the tiara in Mr. Gold's shop and just had to get it for her birthday. They talk about flowers and how Snow White was named after a flower that bloomed even in the harshest weather, because she was born during a snow storm...or something like that.
The both hear something and Mary Margaret takes off into the woods. She spies Cora and the Mayor digging in random spots, in search of Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. The Mayor is frustrated because Hook's map is magical and only he can read it properly.
Cora eases the frustration and explains that her magic will fix the map. It will only take some more time, but it will be worth it when they can use the dagger to make The Dark One kill anyone they want.
Dear ABC,
Isn't it convenient they went over their diabolical plan AGAIN, right at the exact moment Mary Margaret stumbled upon them?
Mary Margaret runs speedy quick to the Sheriff's office just as David starts to wake up. She explains the two most evil and powerful woman in the village are looking for the most powerful and evil weapon.
This is their plan; Mary Margaret is going to convince the Mayor NOT to trust her mother.
Huh?
Back in New York, Henry starts bonding with his dad, Neil while Emma and Mr. Gold lurk close behind feeling like a couple of lost causes.
Mr. Gold gives us his quote of the show, “The people who are the closest to us, are the ones capable of hurting us the most.”
So true. Especially if the one who is closest to you keeps giving you nuggies.
Mr. Gold keeps nettling Emma to convince Neil to return back to Storybrooke. She gives him a line about trying to protect Henry. Mr. Gold calls her out and says she's still in love with Baelfire...um Neil.
Mary Margaret tricks the Mayor into visiting her at Granny's pub/laundromat/diner under the guise of the latest news about Henry. Mary Margaret confronts her about her forest activities with dear ole' mom, and tries to convince her that Cora doesn't care about helping her get custody of Henry.
The Mayor isn't buying it. She throws out a snide remark about mother's who die.
Little Snow White stays at her mother's bedside and suggests her birthday ball should be cancelled until her mother is feeling better. The palace doctor exchanges glances with Johanna and Snow White picks up that things aren't looking that good.
She takes Johanna aside and begs her for help. Johanna whispers that since the doctor is clueless that maybe this would be a good time to consult the Queen's very secret, very mysterious magical consultant.
Apparently there's a fairy that only grants wishes to those who are true of heart...or something like that.
Cleavage warning.
Emma casually brings up Storybrooke to Neil. He refuses to return, but then confesses he has something to tell her.
Henry bursts between them, spoiling the moment. He and Neil go up to his apartment to get his camera for there latest New York tourist activity, while Emma and Mr. Gold wait downstairs.
Suddenly, without any warning, like totally by surprise, Hook jumps out from nowhere and attacks Mr. Gold, piercing his heart with his hook, his enchanted hook.
Dear ABC,
If Hook gets Mr. Gold's enchanted heart, then he controls him...right?Why didn't Cora do this instead of digging up the whole forest?
But before he can rip out his heart, Emma knocks Hook out with a trashcan.
Neil races into the scene! He looks at the unconscious pirate with disgust, remembering when his Mother ran away with Hook. The sight of Mr. Gold dying warms Neil's own heart and he takes his Papa back up to his apartment for some first aid.
After Emma locks up Hook in the utility closet, she finds Neil hovering over Mr. Gold, pressing a bandage to his chest and talking craziness about hospitals and emergency departments.
But Mr. Gold puts the kibosh on that plan, since Hook's hook (it sounds funny but it's true) was covered in poison and the antidote is only available in Fairy Tale Land.
How will they get back?
Emma mentions Hook's map and figures he sailed to Storybrooke. Neil coughs up to volunteer as captain and sail his Papa back for the cure.
Wow, that was easy.
David and Mary Margaret rush to the Head Nun's house (aka Blue Fairy) and beg for her to use her magic to find the dagger before Cora gets her hands on it. Mary Margaret says, “Please Mother Superior, you're our only hope.”
Dear ABC,
Why does that line sound familiar?
Little Snow White goes into the woods in search of the Blue Fairy. She finds her without too much effort but is upset when the Blue Fairy, in all her over the top Las Vegas cleavage, tells her that fairy magic is the most pure of magic and using it to extend a life would darken it...or something like that.
But the Blue Fairy lets it slip that there is a way to help using a magic that is dire for fairies to use and she makes the little princess promise NOT to tell anyone.
The Blue Fairy gives Snow White a candle infused with magic. But all magic comes with a price; in order for the Queen to live, someone else must give up theirs, and it's up to Snow White to decide.
Yikes! She's like twelve.
Snow White realizes the Queen wouldn't be too keen on this, and she refuses the candle.
Okay, that was a waste.
Emma gets a text from David. She tells Mr. Gold he has to tell her where he's hidden the dagger so they can get it first before Cora. He refuses, but then she plays the, 'you better start trusting your family,' card.
Mother Superior can't get into Mr. Gold's shop, her magic is too pure and weak...or something like that.
Mary Margaret asks her to use dark magic and give her a 'wink-wink-nudge-nudge.' But the Blue Fairy has no clue what she's talking about. Before this conversation can continue, David's phone rings. It's Emma! And she knows where the dagger is.
Little Snow White rushes to her mother's bedside and confesses about her foray into forest and her unwillingness to kill someone else in order to save her mother's life.
The Queen says she's proud of Snow White and that as long as she holds the spirit of goodness in her heart, she will always be with her. Then she takes her last breath as the violins play and the tears flow.
David and Mary Margaret find the dagger hidden behind the town clock. Cora and the Mayor appear in a plume of purple smoke. Before Mary Margaret can say, “Ha! Good always beats evil,” Cora snaps her fingers and a very confused Johanna is summoned. The Mayor does the chest punch trick and turns to Mary Margaret with Johanna's enchanted heart in her fist.
Quick! Ring for Carson!!!
Once again, there is a choice of one life over another.
Johanna puts the tiara on little Snow White, all dressed in black. She tells her to buck up and be the leader the Queen always wanted her to grow into.
Where the heck is the King during all this?
Little Snow White gives her mother a final good-bye. After the funeral, the Blue Fairy flies into the empty room. In a swirl of purple smoke, she turns into Cora.
Cora saunters up to the tomb and explains to the Queen's corpse (and us) that she poisoned her on purpose and tried to trick Snow White into using black magic. However, she will not give up and promises to turn Snow White's good soul into a dark one.
Mary Margaret begs for Johanna's life. Cora says one sentence about the Queen wanting her to be good. Mary Margaret uses her inner Scooby-Doo and figures out it was Cora who pretended to be the Blue Fairy, and it was Cora who poisoned her mother.
Cora smiles with a shrug and says it was all done so that Regina could be Queen. This is news to the Mayor, but she keeps her cool and demands the dagger.
David whispers, “No, Mary Margaret we can still win.”
Why doesn't she just throw the dagger at Cora's eyeball?
Mary Margaret drops the dagger. The Mayor gives Johanna a heart transplant and she runs to Mary Margaret's arms. Cora scoops up the dagger, then with a whip of her wand, sends Johanna through the clock window to her death on the pavement below.
Way to go Mary Margaret.
Cora and the Mayor return to her house where it's the Mayor's turn to impersonate Scooby-Doo. She monologues about how her mother orchestrated the meeting of Snow White on the runaway horse knowing that the King would be lonely and looking for a new wife.
Then she asks what they'll do about Henry once Mary Margaret blabs about the nasty business with Johanna. But Cora is cooler than the Grinch as she caresses the dagger, “Don't worry my dear,” she says. “My interests are in line with yours. The others will soon be an unfortunate memory and Henry will be yours.”
Neil and Emma hustle down the sidewalk. He's about to hot wire a car for their road trip back to Storybrooke when a beautiful woman rushes up and hugs him, acting all concerned since he told her he had to leave town quickly.
That's his big secret? He has a girlfriend!
Emma looks awkward and crumbles when Neil introduces her to his fiance.
That's his big secret? He has a fiance!
Mary Margaret and David stand over Johanna's grave (wow that was fast!) and do some deep soul searching. Good versus evil...blah, blah, blah.
Mary Margaret has had enough, “No more lives wasted. No more hearts broken!”
Um...okay. Got a plan?
David interrupts her pep talk with news about the nasty dagger and making sure they getit back before Mr. Gold returns to Storybrooke. Then Mary Margaret vows to kill Cora...or something like that.
Game on.
Stuff I Liked
1. Mary Margaret's various tam and big scarf combos. Also the plaid pea coat in the last scene was super sweet.
2. A lot of stuff happened.
3. Mrs. Padmore!
Stuff I Didn't Like
1. Everyone figured everything out faster than a mind reader.
2. Mrs. Padmore died.
3. The Sheriff didn't return.
Who is going to die next? And where the heck is Rapunzel?
Belle has lost her memory. A panicked Mr. Gold tires to reassure her it's totally fine that he's able to heal her gunshot wound with magic.
Mary Margaret, Emma and David arrive to find Hook bloodied and still ready to fight Mr. Gold. An ambulance arrives in the speed of light as if it was scripted or something. The paramedics flash a light into the car, but no one recognizes the dude.
Poo. I was hoping for the Sheriff.
Dr. Whale sits at Storybrooke's emergency brooding over a glass of scotch.
We're treated to a black and white flashback. Dr. Frankenstein had an overbearing father who favored his younger brother. Not only was he second choice, but dear old dad, refused to believe in his experiments with cadavers and lightening.
Cora would have understood.
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Hook and the crash victim are rushed to the hospital. Belle is put in a room and sedated, freaking out that Mr. Gold is the dude she regularly makes out with. Dr. Whale tries to calm everyone down with a glass of scotch.
Emma interrogates Hook with her fists.
Yikes!
Hook can't help but flirt, but Emma reminds him that he not only pissed off the only guy in town who can use magic, is immortal, but he also tried to kill his chick.
Emma hacks into the car accident guys iPhone; his name is Greg and he seems really boring. Mary Margaret and David worry that other regular people will start coming to Storybrooke.
Bad news for the Blue Fairy because her Head Nun disguise is not fooling anyone.
Also, the Mayor and Cora are missing.
*Rubs hands together*
Dr. Whale announces to the room that Greg, the regular guy, is bleeding internally and may die. He asks Mr. Gold to hocus pocus him back to health. Mr. Gold mentions that since Greg saw him use a little magic he'll blow the whistle on Storybrooke and their town will be in danger.
A long pointless debate ensues; let the guy die and save Storybrooke, or try and save him and see what horrible things will happen.
Really? They're afraid of a regular guy?
Rumpelstiltskin pays a visit to Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. He's interested to know the secrets of reanimation since he only has the power of dark magic. He leaves a pile of gold to help Dr. Frankenstein continue his work.
He utters these last famous words, “Igor, we're going to need a body.”
Wow! If I had a nickel for every time I said that on a Saturday night.
Mr. Gold mopes about his shop, crying into the chipped cup. Cora arrives and offers to help find his son, if he helps her find the mayor.
She brings him a 'magical globe' that will pin point Bellfire's location. She's so sweet and they shake on the deal, and then they kiss.
ARGH! Look away! Oh God, too late. It's like watching a car accident in slow motion.
Dr. Frankenstein digs up a body but is interrupted by his brother, trying to convince him that stealing corpses for science is wrong. A shot rings out from the guy who patrols the graveyard at night...I guess. Both brothers jump into a waiting carriage and escape. Frankie soon notices that his brother isn't very talkative, and that the blood stain on his chest indicates he's been shot, like in the heart...and is now dead.
Emma is concerned when Greg's cell phone keeps ringing. The others are worried that the regular guy's girlfriend will also come to Storybrooke. That means two regular people will be in Storybrooke.
I can't imagine the wild plot lines that will develop.
*Yawn*
Emma and the gang realize Dr. Whale has left the hospital. And NOT trying to save Greg, like he promised.
Dr. Frankenstein is upset when his attempt to electrocute his brother back to life has failed. Dear dad arrives and gives a slice of terrible acting, blaming Dr. Frankenstein for killing his brother.
There's more father/son/death issues here than a Tim Burton movie.
Cora sneaks around the Mayors house looking for clues. Meanwhile, Henry sneaks around the cemetery and enters the Mayor's secret vault. She lets him into her room of mirrors. She pleads her innocence, and Henry looks unimpressed. Then Henry turns into Cora.
Busted.
Dr. Frankenstein is paid another visit by Rumpelstiltskin. He promises him an enchanted heart that will withstand the blast of lightening, all in return for pulling a prank on Regina, making her think her dear Daniel, can be brought back to life.
Cora pleads with the Mayor, that she loves her and understands why she tried to kill her...like over and over again. The Mayor demands that Cora go into town and confess to the kidnapping of Dr. Hopper. She agrees and I really hope something super awesome happens.
Ruby and her wolf nose, find Dr. Whale ready to jump to his death. She catches him in the last second.
Dr. Frankenstein uses an enchanted heart from Storybrooke and animates his brother. Dear old dad is so excited, but he gets too close with the candle. The brother freaks out and attacks the dad, killing him with his fists.
Dr. Whale explains to Ruby that magic always comes with a price. Ruby replies with the best line of the season so far. “I'm a werewolf, I ate my boyfriend.”
Seriously. I'm not kidding.
The Mayor and Cora drive into town. Like any good mother, Cora uses this time to point out that Henry will never be hers as long as Mary Margaret and Emma keep bringing up all the stuff she did as the Evil Queen. The Mayor dissolves into tears, knowing her mother is the only one who can help her get Henry back.
Dr. Frankenstein speaks with his zombie brother, and realizes he is a tortured monster. He brings a gun to end his life, but is unable to pull the trigger. He leaves his brother in a cell.
Gee, kind of a no win situation.
Dr. Whale returns to the hospital and saves Greg, the regular guy.
Mr. Gold brings the chipped cup to Belle, hoping it will bring her memory back. He talks about castles and is insisted it's a magical talisman. Belle, frustrated with the lack of hospital security smashes the cup and asks the ugly old guy to leave.
Emma interviews Greg, the regular guy. She's all worried that he saw some magic, even though magic doesn't exist in Storybrooke—only when it does. But her fears are put to rest when Greg confesses that he was texting and didn't see anything weird.
Mr. Gold uses the magical globe thingy and gets the location of Bellfire. Emma has breakfast with Henry who explains to everyone that Dr. Frankenstein isn't even a fairytale, so if he's in Storybrooke, well, gosh, that means anything can happen.
Mr. Gold arrives and tells Emma it's time to cash in on the favor she promised when he let Cinderella keep her baby.
Yeah, I know. Where is she these days?
Emma has to pack a bag and take him traveling. He promises everyone in the room if anything bad happens to Belle while he's away, he'll kill them all.
Harsh much?
Meanwhile, Greg the regular guy, calls his honey and let's her know he's stuck in wackoville where magic only exists when it's convenient.
This episode was so useless it made my eyes water.
Hook and Cora wait until darkness before entering Storybrooke.
Why does Cora have a black umbrella?
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Hook wants to take off after Rumpelstiltskin, but Cora reminds him that she has the dark magic and he doesn't, so there!
Emma and Henry walk in on Mary Margaret and David in bed. How awkward to see your parents and grandparents making out.
Janet Jackson or Evil Queen? tumblr.com
The Evil Queen disguises herself as Janet Jackson, trying to hide from the rebels. Determined, she hunts down Snow White. It's a trap! The blue fairy comes out from the shadows and puts a binding spell on her.
Why didn't this happen a hundred episodes ago?
There's a party for Mary Margaret and Emma at the...you guessed it, the pub/dinner/laundromat. The Mayor arrives as a guest of Emma's. Mary Margaret and David take Emma aside and say, “This is the woman who tried to kill all of us...like all of us.”
Everyone eats the Mayor's lasagna, but no one wants to chat it up with her. The Mayor thanks Emma for the useless invite and tries to convince her let Henry have a sleepover. When Emma refuses, she gets angry, and then she gets sad, and then she apologizes again.
Emma blabs that Dr. Hopper believes she wants to change and is committed to stop using magic.
Cora and Hook watch from the top of a building, waiting for the perfect moment.
Dr. Hopper and his dalmatian have a run in with the Mayor. She spits out big words like, confidentiality. Ruby jogs by in a sweat shirt, tight jeans and useless high boots.
Jiminy Cricket tells the table of fairy tale characters that the Evil Queen will never change. Charming declares that for the better of every kingdom and land out there, they must kill her.
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Ruby spies the Mayor visiting Dr. Hopper. She begs him for another session. Hold on, the dalmatian knows something is up.
Gee, I wonder if Cora is pretending to be the Mayor?
There's a huge plume of purple smoke. We see Dr. Hopper gag his last breath.
The dalmatian waits all night, then the next morning, he goes straight to the pub/dinner/laundromat. He finds Henry and barks a warning that Dr. Hopper has fallen down a well. Ruby uses her wolf/dog powers and follows the dog across the street.
Emma and David question the Mayor about Dr. Hopper's homicide. She's surprised since she has no idea her mother is impersonating her while she murders fairy tale characters.
As the Evil Queen walks the steps to the gallows, Jiminy asks if she has any last words. She says, “Wow, this will really teach me a lesson.”
Actually, she yells out that she regrets not being able to kill Snow White. Three archers aim, but it's useless since Snow White calls off the execution at the last second.
Emma tells David she's convinced the Mayor knew nothing about Dr. Hopper's death. She orders that they let her go, and then find the truth.
Snow White tells a very confused Charming that once the Evil Queen was Princess Regina, a horse riding, little girl saving, stable boy loving young lady. Those were a fun few days, right?
Rumpelstiltskin visits Snow White, holding the Evil Queen's execution blindfold. He laughs at the idea of rehabilitating her, but he says there is a test to determine if the Evil Queen can become good again. Snow White, takes the deal.
Dummy.
Back in Dr. Hopper's office, David realizes the Mayor's file is missing! Mary Margaret gasps at this concrete evidence. Emma, however is certain the Mayor was framed by Mr. Gold.
Forced to postpone his inside picnic with Belle, Mr. Gold suggests Emma ask the dalmatian a few questions.
How?
With magic, of course. But here's the big plot hole twist. Emma has to use magic.
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Mr. Gold pulls out a dream catcher and fills it with the dogs memories. Emma really, really, really concentrates. Suddenly we're seeing the dog's memories. The Mayor enters the office and chokes Dr. Hopper. Emma drops the dream catcher, overwhelmed by the Mayor's guilt.
That was useless.
At this point, I thought you might enjoy some James Spader eye candy.
Emma and her parents decide no usual warrant will suffice. Luckily, fairy dust is being refined as I write this.
Snow White visits the Evil Queen in her holding cell. She talks about the old Regina and urges her to leave all her evil behind in the cell. She breaks open the lock with a dagger. The Evil Queen takes two seconds before she grabs the dagger and stabs Snow White.
But the dagger is USELESS because Rumpelstiltskin made a protective spell against Snow White and Charming with a hair he took from the Evil Queen's blindfold. The Evil Queen is banished to live alone with her evil self.
Useless punishment.
Emma arrives the Mayor's house announcing plans for her arrest, plus she can use magic now, and the Mayor can't, so there!
The Mayor freaks out and a fight erupts. She escapes in a purple haze of smoke.
I'd say she's broken now.
Emma and her parents have a heart to heart about who is the worse parent. On cue, Henry gets off the school bus. Emma takes him aside to drop the bomb about Dr. Hopper's murder. The Mayor watches tearfully from her car as Henry collapses into Emma's arms.
Rumpelstiltskin visits the Evil Queen in her solitary castle. He rubs in the fact Snow White and Charming are getting married. He talks about different lands, and plants the seed for the curse that started this whole mess.
Cora returns to the dock to find Hook sulking about how he hasn't gotten his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin. Cora takes him into the ship and shows him who she's kidnapped. Someone who has all the town's secrets.
It's Dr. Hopper!
That Cora is such a smarty pants.
Stuff I liked about this episode
1. Mary Margaret's plaid skirt and camel colored cropped jacket.
Stuff I didn't like about this episode
1. Grumpy had three lines and the Blue Fairy had none!
2. Dr. Hopper's dog didn't even get a treat when he lead them to the body.
3. David is allowed to talk.
4. Sheriff Graham STILL has not returned.
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