Or better title, "The Crying Game"
This episode was so useless it made my eyes water.
Hook and Cora wait until darkness before entering Storybrooke.
Why does Cora have a black umbrella?
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Hook wants to take off after Rumpelstiltskin, but Cora reminds him that she has the dark magic and he doesn't, so there!
Emma and Henry walk in on Mary Margaret and David in bed. How awkward to see your parents and grandparents making out.
The Evil Queen disguises herself as Janet Jackson, trying to hide from the rebels. Determined, she hunts down Snow White. It's a trap! The blue fairy comes out from the shadows and puts a binding spell on her.
Janet Jackson or Evil Queen? tumblr.com |
The Evil Queen disguises herself as Janet Jackson, trying to hide from the rebels. Determined, she hunts down Snow White. It's a trap! The blue fairy comes out from the shadows and puts a binding spell on her.
Why didn't this happen a hundred episodes ago?
There's a party for Mary Margaret and Emma at the...you guessed it, the pub/dinner/laundromat. The Mayor arrives as a guest of Emma's. Mary Margaret and David take Emma aside and say, “This is the woman who tried to kill all of us...like all of us.”
Everyone eats the Mayor's lasagna, but no one wants to chat it up with her. The Mayor thanks Emma for the useless invite and tries to convince her let Henry have a sleepover. When Emma refuses, she gets angry, and then she gets sad, and then she apologizes again.
Emma blabs that Dr. Hopper believes she wants to change and is committed to stop using magic.
Cora and Hook watch from the top of a building, waiting for the perfect moment.
Dr. Hopper and his dalmatian have a run in with the Mayor. She spits out big words like, confidentiality. Ruby jogs by in a sweat shirt, tight jeans and useless high boots.
Jiminy Cricket tells the table of fairy tale characters that the Evil Queen will never change. Charming declares that for the better of every kingdom and land out there, they must kill her.
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Ruby spies the Mayor visiting Dr. Hopper. She begs him for another session. Hold on, the dalmatian knows something is up.
Gee, I wonder if Cora is pretending to be the Mayor?
There's a huge plume of purple smoke. We see Dr. Hopper gag his last breath.
The dalmatian waits all night, then the next morning, he goes straight to the pub/dinner/laundromat. He finds Henry and barks a warning that Dr. Hopper has fallen down a well. Ruby uses her wolf/dog powers and follows the dog across the street.
Emma and David question the Mayor about Dr. Hopper's homicide. She's surprised since she has no idea her mother is impersonating her while she murders fairy tale characters.
As the Evil Queen walks the steps to the gallows, Jiminy asks if she has any last words. She says, “Wow, this will really teach me a lesson.”
Actually, she yells out that she regrets not being able to kill Snow White. Three archers aim, but it's useless since Snow White calls off the execution at the last second.
Emma tells David she's convinced the Mayor knew nothing about Dr. Hopper's death. She orders that they let her go, and then find the truth.
Snow White tells a very confused Charming that once the Evil Queen was Princess Regina, a horse riding, little girl saving, stable boy loving young lady. Those were a fun few days, right?
Rumpelstiltskin visits Snow White, holding the Evil Queen's execution blindfold. He laughs at the idea of rehabilitating her, but he says there is a test to determine if the Evil Queen can become good again. Snow White, takes the deal.
Dummy.
Back in Dr. Hopper's office, David realizes the Mayor's file is missing! Mary Margaret gasps at this concrete evidence. Emma, however is certain the Mayor was framed by Mr. Gold.
Forced to postpone his inside picnic with Belle, Mr. Gold suggests Emma ask the dalmatian a few questions.
How?
With magic, of course. But here's the big plot hole twist. Emma has to use magic.
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Mr. Gold pulls out a dream catcher and fills it with the dogs memories. Emma really, really, really concentrates. Suddenly we're seeing the dog's memories. The Mayor enters the office and chokes Dr. Hopper. Emma drops the dream catcher, overwhelmed by the Mayor's guilt.
That was useless.
At this point, I thought you might enjoy some James Spader eye candy. |
Emma and her parents decide no usual warrant will suffice. Luckily, fairy dust is being refined as I write this.
Snow White visits the Evil Queen in her holding cell. She talks about the old Regina and urges her to leave all her evil behind in the cell. She breaks open the lock with a dagger. The Evil Queen takes two seconds before she grabs the dagger and stabs Snow White.
But the dagger is USELESS because Rumpelstiltskin made a protective spell against Snow White and Charming with a hair he took from the Evil Queen's blindfold. The Evil Queen is banished to live alone with her evil self.
Useless punishment.
Emma arrives the Mayor's house announcing plans for her arrest, plus she can use magic now, and the Mayor can't, so there!
The Mayor freaks out and a fight erupts. She escapes in a purple haze of smoke.
I'd say she's broken now.
Emma and her parents have a heart to heart about who is the worse parent. On cue, Henry gets off the school bus. Emma takes him aside to drop the bomb about Dr. Hopper's murder. The Mayor watches tearfully from her car as Henry collapses into Emma's arms.
Rumpelstiltskin visits the Evil Queen in her solitary castle. He rubs in the fact Snow White and Charming are getting married. He talks about different lands, and plants the seed for the curse that started this whole mess.
Cora returns to the dock to find Hook sulking about how he hasn't gotten his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin. Cora takes him into the ship and shows him who she's kidnapped. Someone who has all the town's secrets.
It's Dr. Hopper!
That Cora is such a smarty pants.
Stuff I liked about this episode
1. Mary Margaret's plaid skirt and camel colored cropped jacket.
Stuff I didn't like about this episode
1. Grumpy had three lines and the Blue Fairy had none!
2. Dr. Hopper's dog didn't even get a treat when he lead them to the body.
3. David is allowed to talk.
4. Sheriff Graham STILL has not returned.
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1 comment:
Too funny! I lost track of the series half way through the first season.
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