The Bachelorette Season 9, Episode 7 “Like, Love, and Mr. Lonely"

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Des and the boys go to Madeira Island!

She says this is a pivotal week to see how the guys really feel about her.

Um, I think they like you. That's the whole point of signing up for the show.

Des has invited some pals from last season's The Bachelor to help her decide.

What?

Catherine is there with her BIG engagement ring, plus the one with red hair and a blond chick. Catherine talks about how she and Sean are each others best friend.

Who cares? I've moved on.

Des needs advice about the guys who are left. The blond one says, “It's nice that you like them, but are you falling in love with anyone?”

Good question.

Des confirms that yes indeed, she is in love...with one of them.

The guys come out for some swimsuit time and the girls get out the binoculars. Immediately they let Des know which one they would pick. They ask Des very important questions about each guy.

Here are the results:

           Drew, best kisser and most outrageous abs.                
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Drew is the best kisser.

Michael is the most successful.

Chris is the most athletic.

Drew has the best body.

Zak is the most adventurous.

And she guesses Chris may have the biggest man part.

Well, I think that covers it.

Brooks is chosen to go on a solo date.

Chris says it's obvious they have a connection and it makes him nervous.

I guess he doesn't know he has the biggest, ahem...asset of the group.

Des and Brooks travel to the edge of a cliff.

How is ABC going to give them a private concert on a cliff?

Then they discuss the difference between like and love—there's a lot of awkward giggling. They take a drive way up to the top of the clouds.

During the picnic, Brooks and Des seem like they're trying hard to convince each other they're in love, or falling in love, or ready to fall in love.

Then they talk about clouds...a lot.

 

Their evening dinner date consists of Des talking about falling in love. I'm too distracted by Brooks's creepy Freddy Kruger sweater.

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Brooks talks about his family and gets weepy.

Just like their other solo date.

Des makes it obvious she's falling in love, but he tells the camera he's a few steps behind. When she asks if he wants her to meet his family, he takes a long pause then says, “Yeah.”

Poor Des.

Chris gets the next solo date. And he is super excited! He's ready to propose.

Take that Brooks and your stupid sweater.

They take a yacht to a deserted island, but still have time to slather sunscreen on each other and make out.

They have a picnic on a flowery bank. When they drink all the wine, Chris suggests they write a message and put it in the empty bottle. They create a poem together about love. It sounds very grade ten, but he's a mortgage broker, so well done.

Then Chris tells us he has something to share with Des.

His big...secret?

It's time for the candlelit dinner. Chris is ready to tell Des that he's in love with her. After a lot of sweating and talk about kids and families, he whips out his...poem.

Oh my nerves. Another poem.

At the end, he finally tells her he loves her.

Des tells us he has all the qualities she's looking for.

Yeah, we know. He has a big personality.

Michael gets to go on the next solo date. They explore the local shops.
 

                                                        

Mr. Lonely

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I'm confused. Why isn't she out with Drew? I really like Drew.

They have a little wine on a private bench with a waterfall in the background.

I'm shocked no one has said, 'amazing' yet.

Des is worried that she hasn't seen any vulnerability from him.

He stares at his salad and tells her how grateful he is for the time they spent today. He talks about his family and he assures Des, his mom would totally love her. Then he brings up the diabetes again.

Des says, “Michael is always positive.”

Except when he has to go on dates with Ben.

Michael then tells her about his big break-up with his last girlfriend, and how he's been Mr. Lonely for the last year and a half. But he confides that he's feeling all the feels with her, and it's lovely, happy times.  

Des eats it up.

Drew and Zak are going on the two on one date with Des. Both dudes are psyched to get the date rose.

They arrive at a go-cart race track. Des makes things exciting by telling the guys whoever wins the next face gets a surprise. Zak is a speed demon and wins the race.

All three enjoy a picnic, or rather Des enjoys having two guys constantly vie for her attention. Zak's big prize is to meet with Des first.

Hey, don't worry, Drew. Des has lots of practice making out with guys one after the other.

Zak shows her his sketch book with his drawings of all their dates.

Don't forget Zak is the dude who came out of the limo with no shirt.

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Next, it's Drew's turn.

One of Drew's qualities is that he is very articulate. If anyone can woe her with words, it's him. And he does. Nothing says, I love you like whispering 'I love you' right before you kiss her.

*Swoon*

Des give the rose to Drew.

And the peasants rejoice.

The rose ceremony is next!

Des has a little chat with the host. She tells him Drew is definitely husband material, but she begins to cry when she admits to being in love with Brooks.

Maybe she's crying because he doesn't love her.

Or maybe she's crying because Brooks doesn't have Chris's personality...in his pants.

Brooks gets the first rose. Chris gets the next one. It's down to Michael and Zak!

Zak gets the last rose.

Michael, the prosecutor from Miami, who just learned to love again is once again crushed by cruel Cupid and his cruel ways. He does his best to lay on the guilt about how much his mom would have loved her and how no girl from now on will ever, EVER measure up to Des.

“I wish you the best,” he says.

Case closed.

Mr. Lonely calls him mom from the limo, and he's crying about how he's tired of woman breaking his heart.

Oh dear.