Once Upon A Time, Season 4, Episode 5 "Breaking Glass"

Or better title "Breaking Wind"

Because this episode stank so much!

David and Mary Margaret entrust Belle with baby Neal as they make plans to go on their first date since giving birth!

I see nothing going wrong with this at all. 

Elsa hangs out at the Sheriff's office going through photos of Emma and the Snow Queen, which Emma has no memory of almost as if her memories have been ERASED magically!

*snore*

Also, has anyone offered a change of clothes for Elsa?

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Emma takes the photos to Regina because it's obvious that her arch nemesis will help her while she's looking for a cure to save her true love's wife. Regina rolls her eyes and tells Emma they will never be friends and that includes doing favors like using magic to help her remember how she knows the Snow Queen.

Um...wouldn't that be a good thing to do since the Snow Queen is pretty powerful and everything?

Anyway, we flashback to Emma's past where we see her make friends during the turbulent teenage years with another shoplifter—Lily of the light handed.

Lily and Emma bound over stolen luncheon meat and their own stories of miserable orphanage upbringing. Lily comes up with the super idea that she and Emma should break into a big ole summer mansion, now empty for the fall.

While waiting for Emma, Elsa gets lured into a foggy graveyard by the sound of Anna's voice.

And this is totally logical because characters have a way of popping up from different dimensions when you're not looking for them.

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The magic mirror (love sick, Sydney Glass) lets Regina know that he's found the Snow Queen and he leads her (via her compact) through above mentioned foggy forest. She bumps into Emma who is looking for Elsa.

How does Emma know Elsa went wandering into the forest?

David and Mary Margaret drop in on the Sheriff's office to grab a walkie talkie and they notice the cell is empty!

How on earth did Will Scarlet (the ice cream shop thief) escape while left alone for hours?

Elsa runs through the darkened forest in her sparkling cape, following the sound of Anna's voice.

For the love of God, can someone give the girl a pair of sweat pants and sneakers?

She sees Anna dangling precariously above a chasm so Elsa builds an ice bridge. Psst...this is useless since we all know this the Snow Queen tricking Elsa.

Also, if Anna really was Anna, wouldn't Elsa find it weird that her sister is running away from her?

David convinces Mary Margaret they should try and track down Will. She thinks he's stupid pants and if they're going to be away from the baby they should be hitting the all night disco instead. So he tells her to head home and he'll do the police stuff on his own.

Two seconds later, Mary Margaret sees a guy shoveling holes on the beach.

This episode is so bad my head hurts. Why did I start watching this show? Oh, wait. Now I remember.

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Lilly and Emma break into a mansion and do what any delinquent would do; play video games and take selfies. Emma notices Lilly has a star birthmark in the inside of her wrist. To prove they're besties Lily marks Emma's wrist and they promise to always stay besties...for like real...for like always.

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 Elsa finds Anna and they hug. The Snow Queen slips out from the trees in her long white sparkly dress and the vision of Anna disappears. She then traps Elsa with handcuffs of ice and begins a monologue about using power to its full potential and how she can control Elsa with fear.

Um...if you magically bind someone you should probably NOT tell them how to break the spell.

Mary Margaret questions Will who is trying to find a bag he buried in the sand. She discovers he was only arrested for breaking into the library while drunk. She figures David let him out of jail so she'd have a little adventure on her own. And since she's the mayor she pardons him.

This C story was kind of pointless.

Emma and Regina end up stuck on the ice bridge and Regina figures the magic mirror has set her up. The bridge starts to collapse and they rush off in time.

Lilly and Emma are discovered by Lilly's dad. Uh-oh. Lilly has been lying to poor orphaned Emma. It turns out Lilly has a mom and dad and regular spaghetti Mondays. Lilly tries to convince Emma they're still alike and once she runs away again, they'll hit the road in Thelma and Louise style, but Emma's not buying it and she wipes off her water color star tattoo.

Elsa breaks her chains by conquering her fears. Actually she says, "I'm not afraid." And ta-da, she's free.

Regina and Emma battle a transformer monster thing that's made of ice. They use their magic in a combined effort—like every other time they have to battle. The Snow Queen appears and takes Regina's compact. Elsa moves in on the scene and throws a few icicle spears.

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The Snow Queen congratulates Elsa on losing her fears. Then she disappears in a vortex of snow.

Regina tells Emma she will never forgive her for bringing back Marion, even if Elsa tells them they should be buds because the Snow Queen will whip them all dead speedy quick if they don't stand together.

The Snow Queen helps Sydney Glass escape from the magical compact and she monologues (again) that the black magic in the compact will help her get what she's deserved for too long.

Hey, another villain bent on revenge because of not feeling loved by the right person at the right time. Isn't that original?

The Snow Queen uses the last piece of glass to complete a master mirror...the mirror of evil doing. And she whispers that it will help her get a family that's always loved her.

Called it.

Emma goes to Regina and explains that she turned her back on Lily because she was hurt and she doesn't want the same thing to happen between her and Regina...or something like that. You know, since they have the whole 'I struggle with commitment issues' thing.

Regina rolls her eyes and says, "Um...okay. Let's try to be friends."

David returns home and Mary Margaret tells him she pardoned Will. She's all happy and feels like her old crime fighting self. David says he didn't help Will escape but since this is the C plot, no one really cares.

Emma sits at the Sheriff's office and pulls out the old photos of herself and the Snow Queen. Hook shows up and she shares her miserable memories because that turns guys on. She finds the old video recorder and starts to watch pictures of her and Lily. The tape keeps rolling and we see new footage of Emma's next foster home, but she doesn't remember any of it.

No memory? Weird.

And guess who's in the tape? Yup, the Snow Queen.

What did you think of tonight's episode? Check out my other Once Upon A Time Recaps here!