The Bachelor, Season 17, "The Finale...Finally!"

Who will Sean choose?!

 

 

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The Host comes on and tells me that this is a historic three hour finale.

Three hours?!

 Kill. Me. Now.

Sean's family flies to Thailand so they can meet the two final contestants, ladies.

Sean's mom tells him not to worry because this may end in a proposal so he must know in his heart which girl he truly wants.

Sean grins and says, “To tell you the truth, I'm not sure. They're both great.”

Catherine is up first and she is a cute little ball of nerves. Sean's family are really tough on her. His dad says, “We love you, girl.”

During lunch, Sean's sister, Shea makes a toast to both of them as if it's the rehearsal dinner.

Sean's mom takes her aside and I bet this is when we'll see some harsh reality. Catherine talks on and on, while mom, nods and says, “Right.”

Catherine then says, “All I can think about is my future with him. He makes me feel good and true about myself.”

“A-huh.” Then Sean's mom tells her that she'd be proud to have her part of the family.

Sean's dad is too busy smiling to listen to her answers.

Catherine confides, “I'm giving myself completely to him and he's giving himself to me.”

This makes Sean's dad cries happy tears. “If Sean marries you," he says. "I will be your biggest fan.”

If Sean doesn't choose Catherine, I think his dad could step in.

Up next is Ms. Giggles. Lindsay decides to wear her dark lace mini dress. Although she brought presents, so that's something.

She giggles and leans into Sean and says, 'cool' a lot.

Sean's dad takes Lindsay aside for the really tough interview. He asks her, “How do you know you're truly in love with someone before you get married?”

Lindsay flicks her hair, and says, “I just like want to hang out with him forever. He totally gets me.” Then she adds, “Marriage is all about compromise and prayer.”

Sean's dad starts to cry happy tears again, and he tells Lindsay he couldn't be happier if Sean chose her. This in turn makes Lindsay cry happy tears.

I'm crying too, but it's for all the time I've lost on this show.

My only hope is that Mom will be tougher. Lindsay says, “It was crazy! Our first date felt like our fifth date.”

A line forms between Mom's eyebrows as she asks, “Can you get him to open up to you about serious subjects?”

Or do anything that doesn't involve giggling and rubbing each other?

Lindsay lets her know they've tackled the tough stuff.

That's funny. I remember a lot of drinking and making out, I guess the serious talks didn't make the editorial cut.

Sean tells us, “My family got to see how much she loves me.”

Like a puppy.

He confesses to the camera, “I bet I could have a long happy marriage with both Lindsay and Catherine."

Dude, I think you mean, 'either' instead of 'both'.

 

Sean asks his family to help him decide. Mom steps up to bat and tells him that it has to be the most exciting thing for him. If his heart isn't totally sure, then he shouldn't be proposing.

He kind of shrugs and asks for her support. His complacency brings her to tears. She tells him. “If you can't decide which girl, then you can't propose.”

Sean's mom seems so sensible. How did he end up on this kind of show...twice?

He's so clueless. Also, he doesn't know which girl to marry.

We get to see Sean and Lindsay on their last date on the river. She says, “I love you. I really do...so much.”

He says, “I know you do.” And then they make out.

He's so charming. NOT.

ZOMG! The date continues and the silly talk and puppy dog eyes are enough to put me in a coma. Lindsay tells him, “We have all the stuff that's important in a marriage.”

Lindsay is a teacher, remember? I bet she teaches 'stuff'.

She tells him that she's super nervous and doesn't know what she'd do if she lost him. She asks him what he's thinking.

Sean gives her the reassuring comment, “You look pretty tonight.”

She confides to the camera, “When he kisses me, it's so reassuring. That's why we're always kissing because that's how he tells me how he feels.”

Or...

Sean walks through the lush green landscape in his purple t-shirt and greets Catherine. He let's us in on the secret that he's looking for a sign.

They ride an elephant down a hillside.

I'm not sure if he's noticed, but Catherine is also wearing a purple shirt. That could be a sign.

They have drinks and he brings up what it will be like for them to be old and remembering this trip. Catherine lets us know that she isn't the kind of girl who can say, 'I love you' easily.

There's another thing you have in common with Sean.

The date carries on to Catherine's hotel room where, surprise, they start drinking.

Also, she's wearing a black lace shirt and he's wearing a black t-shirt. There's another sign.

Sean gushes about how awesome the elephant date was. Catherine monologues about being comfortable and how she's usually more guarded. Then there is talk about family, and how she knows being with him will make her life better.

Aw.

Sean gives her his usual ambiguous answer, but it seemed more genuine than when he was with Lindsay.

Finally at the end of the evening, Catherine tells Sean she loves him. He takes a deep breath, presses his forehead to hers and he says, “Thank you for today.”

She tells us, “This is painful.”

Amen, sister. I'm the one blogging, at least you get a trip.

Catherine is exasperated. “I can't get anything out of him! I'm putting everything on the line and he's giving me nothing.”

Said every contestant on this show...ever.

There are several shots of Sean wandering around with only a towel on. He tells us he's made up his mind. “There's one woman I know I can't live without.”

Cue the ring guy.

 

Sean gets on his tux and waits for his bride.

Lindsay is crying from joy because the day she's wanted forever has finally arrived.

Catherine is nervous and knows she loves Sean, but she doesn't feel the same from him.

ABC drags this one out for two more commercial breaks folks.
 

Sean waits by the water with ONE rose. Only one, you got that people?

The black car pulls up and the Host lets out Lindsay. She has a voice over, “Today is the best day of my life. Today is the day I get engaged.”

Sean starts by telling her that she's been such a surprise and he's amazed at her strength, her courage, her generosity...then he swallows and says, “This is the toughest thing I've ever had to do.”

Her face finally figures it out. She lets go of his hand. He keeps talking and she starts to blink back the tears while her eyes dart around, looking for a weapon. Then he puts salt in the wound by telling her that he does love her.

She makes him stop, then asks the worst question ever, “Is it me?”

Nothing gets resolved. She is amazingly composed for someone so giggly. “I'm happy you found love,” she says. “I don't know how to go on without you in my life, but I'll have to figure that out for myself.”

Sniffing away his tears, Sean makes his way back to the wharf. Meanwhile, Lindsay breaks down in the car. “I just want to grow old with somebody and have a family.”

The Host joins Sean and gives him an envelope from Catherine. ABC has led us to believe that this is a good-bye letter, but it's all lovely and happy. Not at all like the chick she was last night. It was signed 'you have my heart.'

I guess we know whose the romantic one in the family.

Catherine arrives gorgeous and glowing in a gold dress. Sean takes her hand and begins 'the speech'. He finally comes up with a great line, “I miss you every time we say good-bye. I don't want to say good-bye anymore.” Then he gets down on one knee and the orchestra starts to play.

He asks and she says yes. And they ride off into the sunset on an elephant.

What the heck is the rest of the show about? There's still ANOTHER HOUR!

The rest of the show is about showing off Catherine and Sean in front of a live studio audience. And ZOMG! It looks like she's wearing the same dress Lindsay wore when she met Sean's family.

The Host asks them to talk about stuff, and frankly I'm not sure how the past contestants ladies, can stand it. Sorry, folks this is good night, my work is done.