Monday, 9 December 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 10, "The New Neverland"

 Or better title, "Pass the Tylenol"

We're in sunny Storybrooke. Belle takes Ariel to the wharf to meet Prince Eric. He's a fisherman gutting the day's catch.

What will happen?

He recognizes her immediately and they start to make out.

Well, that was easy.

A shadow passes over. Belle looks up and sees the Jolly Roger emerge from the clouds.

*Cue the touching piano music and sweet reunions*

Except for Regina, none of the fairy tale characters are happy to see her.
Belle and Mr. Gold embrace and thank God, ABC has spared us a kissing scene with these two. Wendy Darling comes off the boat, and hugs her much older brothers, John and Michael. They plan to fly back to England.

Good idea. Storybrooke is crazy pants.

Mary Margaret lets all the happy peasants know that Regina is the main reason they're all together again.

We flashback to Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding. The Evil Queen makes her famous speech, “I will ruin your happiness if it's the last thing I do.”

Upset with the Evil Queen's latest threat, Snow White is determined to fight back, but Charming convinces her that the best way to defeat the Queen is to have a good old fashioned honeymoon with plenty of lovin'. Snow White chooses a her summer palace where her own parents had their honeymoon.


Grumpy shows up and tells her the castle is secure but he worries about their quick trip. Snow White gives him a wink and says there's something at the summer palace that will defeat the Evil Queen once and for all.


Peter Pan is walking around in Henry's body and meets with the older Lost Boy (Felix). They make a plan to take over Storybrooke...or something like that. To Felix's surprise the first step is having Emma put him in jail.

Belle and Mr. Gold plan a future now that he doesn't have to worry about the prophecy of Henry being his undoing. Stupid seeer.

Oh, wait. Henry is Peter Pan now. Hmm...

Emma meets Fake Henry at Granny's pub/diner/laundromat. She hands him the big book of fairy tales.

Meanwhile at the bar/lunch counter Hook and his chest hair are facing off against grubby Neal, vying for Emma's heart.

Seriously, there's no contest, right, ladies?


Hook lets Neal know that he's in this quest for the long run. He thinks he has a good chance since he's never left her pregnant and alone and let her go to jail for him. Also, he's much, much hotter.

Team Hook ;)

Regina and Tinkerbell arrive and march right up the Blue Fairy who still dresses like she's Mother Superior. Regina demands Tinkerbell's wings be given back since she helped them escape Neverland, plus let's not forget she made some left over pixie dust glow.

The Blue Fairy demands a demonstration, but Tinkerbell is too nervous. She denies Tinkerbell her wings siting, “If you don't believe in yourself, how can I believe in you?”

Oh shut it, you Ninny!

Tinkerbell rolls her eyes says, “I need a drink.”

Spoken like a true fairy.

Speaking of fairies...remember Nova? The fairy that was in love with Grumpy? What the heck happened to her? And where are Cinderella and her Prince? Wasn't there some kind of deal about her baby and Mr. Gold?

Reaches for Tylenol.

Fake Henry reads through the book and sees a picture of the Evil Queen in front of a vault. Neal asks Emma if they can have special talk time, ie: a date. She says she doesn't want to start a relationship since Henry just had his heart ripped out and everything.

Prince Charming carries Snow White across the threshold of her parent's summer palace. She reminisces about her time their as a young girl. The Prince is ready to start practising making heirs, but Snow White pushes him away, saying she has something special planned for tonight.

He leaves to go stable the horses. By stable the horses he means some special alone time...sorry, never mind.

Snow White quickly grabs the families supply of archery weapons and tears off into the woods. But Prince Charming must stables horses er... pretty quickly and he's blocking her path.

Snow White confesses she came up to the summer palace to hunt a creature who has the ability to destroy the Evil Queen. Apparently one look from this beast and you turn to stone.

Oh, Medusa. I was wondering when the Greeks would show up.

Here's the plan: Snow White and Prince Charming will team up and find this beast so they can behead it. He says he can't wait until they slay this thing and start their real honeymoon.

Yeah, slaying mythical beasts is a total turn on.

Fake Henry asks to have a sleepover at Regina's. She's all for it, and Emma reluctantly agrees. He asks Regina if she still has all her magic in her secret vault. He uses the excuse that he's worried Peter Pan will come after him again and he'll need protection.

She tells him not to worry, and that magic is not the answer.

What? Hasn't she been watching the show? Magic is always the answer. Right, ABC. *Wink, wink*

Fake Henry is right because hidden on the Jolly Roger is Peter Pan's shadow.

Didn't Regina kill it? Isn't that how they could leave Neverland?

*Reaches for Tylenol*

Snow White and Prince Charming comb the woods and reminisce about their wacky romance. Snow White lets him know (and us) the only way to reverse Medusa's curse is to kill her, thereby bringing all the previous stone victims to back life.

Mr. Gold shows up at Granny's where David and Mary Margaret are having breakfast. He hands David his cure so he can stay in Storybrooke. He lets them know they owe him BIG TIME.

David takes the potion and ta-da! His creepy mark thing is gone and he's ready to make that second baby with Mary Margaret.

But, boo-hoo. Neal is sitting by himself the next booth over, waiting for Emma who has purposely stood him up.

David takes off to talk his daughter into giving the guy who let her go to jail for his crime another chance. Emma wonders if he's trying to make sure she doesn't start dating Hook.

Back on the Jolly Roger, Hook is already propositioning Tinkerbell, but she's no dumb fairy, she knows he's just killing time before Emma changes her mind.

They hear screams and follow the commotion. The Blue Fairy is being chased by Peter Pan's shadow. It knocks her down and takes away her shadow, thereby killing.

What will Storybrooke do? She was the only fairy who knew how to work with pixie dust!

*cough* foreshadowing of Tinkerbell's moment of triumph *cough*

Hook says the shadow only takes orders from one person...Peter Pan.

Snow White and Prince Charming enter Medusa's castle.

How on earth are these two dimwits going to defeat Medusa.

They don't. Snow White fails to chop off her head. Charming throws a shield like a Frisbee, but that only makes her madder. They try to escape, but Snow White trips and Charming ends up being turned to stone.

Twenty points for Slytherin.

Regina is shocked to discover that Peter Pan's shadow is out killing fairies when she already destroyed it. Fake Henry pretends to be worried. He asks Regina to protect him. Emma takes Regina aside and voices her worries that Henry doesn't exactly seem all right.

Regina rebuffs her suggestion saying she's jealous Henry keeps choosing her. She takes Henry to the safest place in Storybrooke—her secret vault of magic!

Snow White calls out encouragement to the stone faced Charming. The Evil Queen's face shows up in the reflection of the shield, laughing because she ended up destroying her own happiness.

Medusa charges at Snow White, she holds up the shiny shield. Medusa sees her own reflection and changes to stone. And ta-da! Charming returns back to life.

Well, that was easy.

Emma, Mary Margaret and David rush to Mr. Gold's shop. They want him to open up Pandora's Box and release Peter Pan because they want answers, damn it! Emma has a plan and they drive to the town line.


Mr. Gold enchants the box and give it to Emma. She takes it across the line, waiting with her gun. Peter Pan emerges, looking confused. He frantically tells Emma that Peter Pan switched their bodies and he's the real Henry.

He proves himself by recounting the moment when they connected, when she told him the reason she gave him up as a baby was to give him a better shot.

They hug and everyone rejoices...sort of.

Then David says, “Hey, if this is the real Henry, then where is Pan?”

Fake Henry sits inside Regina's magical emporium of wonders practically salivating at all the awesome vials of stuff that can help him take over Storybrooke. He gives Regina a fake hug, then uses one of her potions to render her unconscious.

Snow White tells Prince Charming that they have to start a family speedy quick because the world needs more good than bad. He's like, sure that's what I've been saying all along.

Emma and the gang meet up with Neal, Tinkerbell and Mr. Gold at the vault. While Mr. Gold uses magic to break open the door, Emma monologues that she can never have a happy life because the price of being 'the savior' is that she doesn't get a day off, therefore no time to date and stuff.

Mr. Gold finally breaks through. They find Regina unconscious. Mr. Gold wakes her up. She feels stupid because she fell for Fake Henry's talk about family and love and blah, blah, blah. Peter Pan (aka the real Henry) gives her a hug and sets everything right.

David asks the main question we're all wondering, “What was Pan looking for down here?”

Mr. Gold notices the one empty box, he shots Regina a look. “Please don't tell me you kept it down here?”

She looks sheepishly at everyone, “Where else would I keep the curse.”

Yup. The curse.

Fake Henry breaks Felix out of jail and they run to the woods with the curse. Once he casts the curse again, everyone in Storybrooke will forget who they were and time will stand still. And Fake Henry and Felix will run the show.

Whoo-hoo! That means Emma and Hook have a chance to make out again!

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