Wednesday 4 January 2012

Confessions Of An Unpublished Writer

Every time I hear someone say author, it sounds like they're saying the name Arthur, but with an English accent. I would love to be an author (see? now you hear it too!) but I am still a writer without readers—aka an unpublished person.

When people learn I have a literary agent, they usually ask two things. "What's your book about and when will it be published?"

The first one is easy. "YA paranormal romance," I reply. Then I explain that getting published is hard work, lots of luck and good timing. "It would be nice," I shrug, "but it's been really interesting seeing this side of the industry."

Here's the truth. I want to get published so bad I can taste it. I would sell my mother to a band of camel traders to get a contract. And that's just the beginning of my confessions. Scroll down for the rest of the dirt...

  1.  I day dream about my characters at my job.  
  2. Sometimes I practise my signature to make it look pretty and interesting so I'll be ready for book signings.
  3. Alex Pettyfer in 'Beastly'.
  4. I've already cast the movie they'll base on my novel. Alex *cough* Pettyfer.
  5. I stalk the YA section of the bookstore and stare at the spot where my novel would be shelved alphabetically. After I randomly pick a book and flip through a few pages, I always get depressed because I'll never write that well. Last week a clerk at the Chapters noticed me. "Can I help you?" she asked. "You look disappointed." In so many ways, I thought, in so many ways.
  6. Publishers Markertplace is code for awesome stuff that happens to other people who aren't me. 
  7. I'm convinced my agent is part of an elaborate ruse backed up by my family as revenge for all the practical jokes I've played on them. 
 So, if you see me slouched in the YA section, just give me a sympathetic nod, pat me on the shoulder and say, "Don't worry deary, someday you'll be an Arthur."

Do you have any confessions?

Next Monday I'll be blogging the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.

Cheers!

24 comments:

No One said...

Number 4 made me smile. I try not to go into book stores too often because published novels are written so well and I get discouraged.
Btw, I met Brian Jacques a few years ago. When he said Arther and Author they sounded different. Arther was more of an "aw" and Author was more of an...O sound. There are no people quite like the British. =)

Lydia Kang said...

Hmm. I think you're too good looking to be an Arthur. However, you ARE talented enough to be an author.

I do believe it will happen to you. You have the determination, and the talent. Those two together WILL get you to your goals.

Hugs!

Unknown said...

I bet it's going to happen really soon. And I think we are all getting of the YA section stalking.

BR Myers said...

Thanks for the love, folks. Karma all around. Oh sorry, wrong site.

CourtneyC said...

Hi there!
I'm popping over from the QT forum where I've followed your helpful posts and your happy announcement of representation way back when I was much more active over there. It is actually comforting to us who still aren't rep'ed to hear what's going on and how slow the process can be. In fact, I just read a blogger's post that "the publishing business moves as fast as a blob of jelly on a slightly-inclined surface."

You have everything it takes to succeed, so persevere! Onward, Ho! (and I mean that in the seafaring way) :-)

You are my new hero for admitting to #2.

As for my confessions:
I bought a copy of Men's Health from June of 2010 which I tore the cover off and keep next to my monitor because the model/actor is my minds-eye image of my story's hero.

BR Myers said...

Thanks, Courtney. I love that you keep a picture beside the monitor. Did you get his number? ;)

CourtneyC said...

His number? Alas, I wouldn't be able to use it. I've already assured hubby several times that this pic is plastered by my computer, not because I *like* him, like him - but that it's for WORK, honey. ;-)

Here it is, in case you are curious:
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=cover+photo+josh+Men%27s+Health+June+2010&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&biw=1116&bih=770&tbm=isch&tbnid=asv9CCzxAgC4MM:&imgrefurl=http://loopgum.com/tag/issue/&docid=BIDgtYlxvmTSIM&imgurl=http://loopgum.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/jhonline001.jpg%253Fw%253D482%2526h%253D640&w=482&h=640&ei=0oYHT4f3JcK-2gWRrPnECw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=208&vpy=117&dur=6803&hovh=259&hovw=195&tx=114&ty=139&sig=108107602351061857718&page=1&tbnh=135&tbnw=102&start=0&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0

BR Myers said...

HA! I love your MC already.

Kimberlee Turley said...

I have a boring signature. It looks more like a cursive template than a unique signature. I could practice something pretty, but then it won't match what's on my driver's license. : /

Heather Anastasiu said...

I very much understand these frustrations. It took me years to get an agent, and I feel like I had a lot of luck on my side when I happened to hit a certain trend at the exact right time before it passed when I went on submission. But you've alreadly done something amazing in getting an agent. It proves that you are talented, and getting published is actually within grasp, something it's not for a lot of unagented writer. The worst part of this business is waiting and doubting ourselves. I can tell you too that the waiting and self-doubt doesn't magically end at a book deal, and there's nothing to do but stubbornly keep writing! You sound like you know what that kind of determination looks like! Best wishes, Heather

Sara said...

Hmmm...what should I confess today?

I play with my hair to imagine what my characters hair would like like. I'm sure that's pretty weird.

I also, practiced my signature for a while...then I had shoulder surgery, and for some reason it changed the way I write. Now my signature looks alot like my dads...which is weird.

BR Myers said...

Thanks, Heather. Yes, just keep writing is the motto for all it seems.

One sick cookie said...

I can relate to one! Since we're both nurses, should we feel guilty about this?

BR Myers said...

Shh...ofcourse not.

Ann Marie Walker said...

Oh my god, I soooo do #4!!

BR Myers said...

Excellent, we'll start a club. Your t-shirt is in the mail.

Unknown said...

Hee. This is spot on.

Jane Lebak said...

I've thought #6 as well. :-)

Unknown said...

Keep the faith!

Tina Moss said...

Can I just say ditto to all of them. Swap YA paranormal to Adult paranormal and this is me.

Elsie Chapman said...

I think we all do this. Especially the Chapters part!

Unknown said...

I love that you have your mind set firmly on the goal. With an agent, you're far closer than most of us. Thanks for stopping by and following -- I'm following you, too! :-)

Caroline Gerardo said...

You're already a distinguished Arthur !

BR Myers said...

Aw, shucks. Thanks, Caroline.

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