Sean says, “It's only been a week, but I'm really digging a lot of these women.”
The host gives the girls a bit of wisdom, “There's only sixteen of you left, make each moment with Sean count.”
*Barf*
Sean invites Leslie on the solo date.
Leslie says, “It feels nice to not have fourteen other girls by my side with Sean.”
Mmm-hmm, like ice cream on a summer afternoon.
They tour the Guinness World Record museum. Then Sean parades Leslie in front of a crowd to attempt a new world record for longest on screen kiss.
What's the point of going on a solo date if you're still making out in front of strangers?
It's not actually a kiss. Their lips are stuck together, but that's it.
I hit fast forward and someone gives then a framed certificate. I think it was for longest most painful moment on ABC.
Sean takes Leslie to a random rooftop for wine and snuggles.
He says, “The more time I'm with Leslie, the more time I want to spend with her.”
And the more I listen to the words come out of your mouth, the more I want to hit the mute button.
These two have the weirdest ALMOST kiss moments. They giggle, then stop talking, and then they look at each other, but neither one leans forward.
Sean asks her, “Can you develop feelings for me in this setting?”
The private rooftop champagne bar setting?
Sean takes a dozen girls to the beach for some fun time sports in their bikinis. Shockingly, there's a lot of gratuitous boobie shots.
The girls are split into two teams. The winning group wins one on one time with Sean, while the losers go home. The girls waste no time in painting themselves with 'S' for Sean.
I fast forwarded this as well, since I'm not a fourteen year old boy. The sun is setting, people are leaving the beach. Dear God, how long does this game last?
Sean hugs the losers while the winners cheer and jump for the camera.
Then he says, “I get to have real quality time with these other six girls and I think I need that.”
It's hard to be you, dude.
One of the girl's says, “Sean has all the qualities of a husband that I really want.”
Yes, a man who dates sixteen girls at the same time on national television, is definitely a keeper.
Lindsay, the substitute teacher, says, “You're like hands down, and on paper, like perfect chemistry.”
Like wow, your students must have like awesome report cards.
Sean has a nice moment with Desire, “I'll never get tired of hanging out with you.”
And feeling her butt.
Amanda confesses to Sean that she is his dream girl.
Oh, okay. Contest over then, I guess.
Amanda returns to the girls and declares that she has probably won the rose tonight.
Has anyone counted the knives lately?
Kaci tells Sean that Desire and Amanda are all freaky and weird and she feels uncomfortable, but she wants to warn Sean.
He says, “Why are you telling me this?”
I think that's a great answer to anything the girls say, Sean.
Sean gives the date rose to Lindsay.
Like, wow.
Ashlee is waiting to go on a solo date with Sean. Tierra falls down the stairs. This eats up more air time than necessary. Tierra ends up getting some TLC with Sean, while Ashley fumes in the foyer waiting for the limo.
Hint, make sure you're in full make-up when you pretend to fall down the stairs.
Sean says, “I want to see if Ashlee's got some kid in her.”
I guess they're going to the ultrasound clinic.
Ashlee is in her little dress, and cute heels, and Sean takes her to an amusement park. But it's not really a solo date because Sean has invited two chronically ill girls to come along. There's rides, stuffed toys, snacks, and a live band.
Ashlee gets teary eyed and considers herself very lucky to be on this date.
I'm also grateful to be spared any more drama from the mansion full of twits.
We learn that Ashlee was adopted at age six and her life story makes Sean cry, it also makes him give her a rose.
It's the cocktail party before the rose ceremony or as I like to call it, 'psycho tug of war'.
Sean takes Sarah outside and he surprises her by bringing her dog by for a little game of fetch.
After this, Sean sits down with one girl, and then another comes along and pulls him away. This continues for awhile.
Desire says, “This is stupid I'm not playing this game.”
That's right, Desire, it's not a game...it's a contest.
Sean begins the rose ceremony.
*Hits fast forward button*
Sean takes Kaci out of the room.
*Hits the pause button*
Sean explains to Kaci that he has too much respect for her as A FRIEND to make her stand through another rose ceremony, and he lets her bow out gracefully. That was very thoughtful of him.
*Hits fast forward*
Two chicks, who I don't even remember, have to go home. They cry in their post interview.
Why do women sign up for this?
2 comments:
Love your commentary!
And something was wrong with Kaci's eyebrows. When she was talking, all I could do was stare at them and wish she'd wax the left eyebrow to match the right. :) Someone should've told her, but I get it. It's a competition. :/
The kiss for the record was awkward--almost painful to watch. I don't think it should've counted. Her bottom lip wasn't even touching his lips. Good idea that you hit the fast forward button. :D
Too funny! Your commentary makes me laugh every time. I always get into this show and never know why. I mean really...the guy is surrounded by the most women he's ever been surrounded by and thinks he's the coolest-ever. And these women really could care less about the guy...only winning the guy from all the other girls. Umm...yeah...and I still watch it every Monday. Agh what's wrong with me?
Post a Comment