Date #1 is with Kaitlyn and some monkeys.
Kaitlyn arrives in her pink cut off shorts.
She tells the camera, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about Chris these last few days."
As opposed to what else?
Chris takes her around the local eateries introducing Kaitlyn as his girl friend.
Yup. One of three.
Then they find monkeys. Chris giggles his girly laugh. Kaitlyn snorts.
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I hit fast forward.
During the evening candle light dinner...
Kaitlyn says to Chris, "I has this guard, but I don't want it to be there. I want it to come down. It's exciting but terrifying at the same time."
Chris: "I get it."
"I'm at my best when I'm at my most vulnerable."
Chris: "You have to put yourself out there."
Then they make-out.
*cue soft guitar music*
He presents her with a key to the fantasy suite.
She says yes and he says, "I think we deserve this."
Then Kaitlyn finally tells Chris she's falling in love with him.
Chris, "Me too."
Gag.
Up next...contestant #2, Whitney.
They picnic on a boat and go for a cruise.
Whitney tells us, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."
But before things get serious, Whitney wants to discuss her sister's reluctance to give her blessing if Chris proposes. "She's my protector. I'm worried that's a factor in how you feel about me."
He reassures her, then they go swimming. She tells him, "I can't imagine a better day and I am head over heels in love with you."
Chris moves in for a kiss.
During dinner he asks if Whitney really thinks she can give up her profession in Chicago and move to Arlington.
He says, "There's nothing to do in Arlington. I hang out at home by myself...a lot."
"I have this career, but I'm not fully happy. I want to be a wife and a mom. That will be my career and that's what I'm ready for."
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Chris grins and they make-out.
He hands her the fantasy suite card.
She's game. He's says, "I'm ready to take this to the next level."
Date #3, enter Becca!
This date will all be about Becca working up the courage to tell Chris she's a virgin.
They walk through a village and Chris is excited to check out the farms.
They visit the local shaman who tells your future. He says they make a good couple and will be good parents. He gives them the advice and states, 'making the love.'
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Chris gives the dude thumbs up, and laughs his girly laugh.
During dinner they talk about marriage.
Which is wise since...you know.
Chris is excited to learn Becca is falling in love with him. He pulls out the fantasy suite card.
*drum roll*
She accepts.
Once comfy in the private suite, she FINALLY spills the beans. Chris readies himself for another 'I posed for Playboy' revelation.
"I'm a virgin."
Chris: *Deep sigh* "I'm glad you...um. I respect that, in a lot of ways. It surprises me."
And then they make-out.
Becca leaves us with these words, "I'm 100% in. I'm excited to see what happens."
The Next Morning
Chris has a bit of an on camera mental break down. "I'm terrified about making a mistake."
Dude, don't you watch the show? No one stays together.
This continues another ten minutes. The host shows up and they talk while guitar and piano play intermittently in the background ...*yawn*
The Rose Ceremony!!!
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But before Chris can give out the flowers, he takes Becca aside to talk about their future.
Um...wouldn't you have talked about this on your date?
"I'm falling in love with you."
"And I'm falling in love with you."
Blah, blah, blah...
Chris brings Becca back to the group. Whitney gets the first rose. He next calls out...and oh my God there is like five minutes of violin music. Becca gets the last rose.
Kaitlyn asks him what happened.
"I don't even understand right now," he says. "I had no idea it would be this hard."
Kaitlyn gets in the car, does up her seatbelt and tells the camera, "That was the most humiliating moment of my life."
Dear Kaitlyn,
No worries, darling. Welcome back to the real world. You'll triumph in the end.
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