The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 8 "It's Getting Stupid Hot"

This episode, Emily goes to the four remaining contestants's hometowns to meet her possible future in-laws.

Emily would have worn nicer pajamas.
photo credit, screenwritersutopia.com

Up first is Chris with the freaky wolf eyes. It's obvious from the hugs and kisses at the door that his family are just as desperate to marry Emily as he is. He drops the L word when she leaves that night, and she thanks him for making her feel so special. 

I'm spending no more time discussing their date because we all know he's not getting a rose.

Next, Emily goes to Utah to meet Jef's family.

Fashion alert! I totally love the white sundress and frye boots. And the bracelets? Yes, please.



photocredit, possessionista.com



Emily and Jef bond over shooting clay pigeons. She's worried because he once told her he broke up with a girl because his parents didn't like her. But it's okay, Emily, because his parents are “away” in South Carolina doing “charity work.”

Of course they're not able to meet their son's future wife. South Carolina is impossible to get out of these days without all the proper passport documentation—especially if you're in prison or something else your family is trying to cover up.

Emily says, “I'm going to have to work my charm on a lot of sisters and brothers. Wow, there are a lot of people here and they're all related to Jef.”

Yup, that's what 'meet the family' means.

Jef's brother, Steve, talks with Emily. It must be weird for her to sit down with a guy and NOT make out with him. Steve says, “Love's not an investment, it's an adventure.”

Yes, but love is also a battlefield, love is in the air, love is a 4 letter word, love will keep us together...

Jef, not exactly as shown
photo credit, funnyordie.com

Jef's sister's discuss if Jef is ready to be a daddy and do grown-up stuff like shaving and taking out the garbage. Emily tells them she's willing to move Ricki so she can experience a big family.

Um, so...what are Ricki's grandparents thinking about this?

Emily's Southern charm wins over Jef's family. They watch the sunset as he recites a love letter. And it would be lovely if it didn't take six different takes. Those ABC producers are ruthless sometimes.

Next stop is Arieville Arizona. And of course new jewelry. Emily goes to the race track and watches him peel off his race suit and says, “Arie looks stupid hot.”

After they put on proper protection, he gives her a ride. She tells us she was scared at first because it was so fast, but then she relaxed when it got smooth. Yes, they're still on the race track, perverts!

Arie warns Emily that his parents are more European then what she's used to in the South. Why is Arie so worried? Doesn't he know Emily has the power to charm EVERYONE...even Europeans.

Emily says Arie is one of her favorite guys and she'll be crushed if they don't absolutely adore her.

Or at the very least hug her like Chris' family did.

Arie has twin brothers! Whoo-hoo. And they're cute. And they love her accent.

And I'm crossing my fingers for a new YA reality show called "Twin Netherland Bachelors, A Prom Night To Remember." 

Dutch Speed Skaters. I rest my case.
photocredit, tumblr.com

Arie's mother begins to speak Dutch and Emily can only sit and smile while trying to pick out words like IKEA and Ricola.

Arie's mom takes Emily for a chat. She asks about her failed relationship with Brad. Emily answers straight forward, then turns the tables and asks the mom if Arie is ready to settle down. Within a Southern minute, Emily has the mother laughing and cheering for them to go all the way.

With brilliant maneuvers like this, how the South lost the Civil War I'll never know.

Up next? Sean, in his own environment. He tells us it's been years since his family has met any girlfriends.

Huh, that's um...interesting. And by interesting I mean weird. And by weird I mean suspicious.

Enter Emily and my new favorite piece—her pendant necklace. She says, “Sean is so perfect, he could drop a huge bomb and it couldn't matter.”

Uh-oh. Don't say stuff like that.

Sean's family getting ready to great Emily.
photo credit, terridaniel.com

Sean takes Emily to meet his family and she fits in quite nicely with the Barbie dream palace of perfect blond and blue-eyed people. In front of everyone, Sean tells Emily his big secret...he still lives at home.

“Cool,” Emily says.

Man, nothing can knock this chick off her game.

He takes her on a tour and shows her his room. It's full of stuffed toys and left over food. And it's a joke. Okay, Sean has always seemed like a stiff shirt to me, but this was pretty funny. Ten points for Sean.

Sean sits down with his dad and they finally have that talk about the birds and the bees. Emily then tells Sean's dad how impressed she was by his love for his family. They sigh contentedly at how their little Sean has really grown up.

At the end of the family date, Emily drives away, but Sean runs after and is rewarded with an open mouth kiss. Emily said a few episodes ago, that she likes to be pursued. Nice work, Sean.

It's time for the rose ceremony and this is where accessorizing is so important. All she needed was a few bracelets and hair extensions. No necklace or earrings tonight, and it totally works.

The first two roses go to Arie and Jef. The stupid Host comes out from behind the curtain to let us know there is only one rose left.

Duh!

Sean, of course, gets the last rose.

And really, Chris, you can't be upset. You were supposed to go last week.

Chris was almost as gracious.
photo credit, postmodernbarney.com

*Cue the soft guitar music*

Emily tries to explain her reasons, but Christ cuts her off, “I told you I loved you. How much faster was this supposed to go?” he asks.

Well, maybe if you were stupid hot, instead of being such a whiny baby.

“I'm ten times the man those f&*^ing dudes are back there.”

Yeah! Right on, man. Here, have a tissue.

And then there were three...