So the big finale was on this week. Yup, that's right, the finale. The show ABC promoted with the certain destruction of Storybrooke, including a super crazy twist, and all kinds of fairy tale fun.
It was going to be a final episode so awesome it would spellbind viewers and keep them thinking about the show over the summer break. What, I wondered, would be the cliffhanger ending or the clever twist. Would there be closure to certain story-lines in a meaningful way or would there be new ones, intended to seduce us to hold on for another season?
In fact, the very last scene was enough to make me go, "Um...huh?"
The Lost Boys bring Baelfire ashore to see the scary and powerful being only referred to as 'the shadow.'
The shadow steals boys from their bedrooms by luring them to a place called Neverland; an island with mermaids, pirates, and sword fights, but more importantly...no rules. But once the boys get on the island, they're not allowed to leave.
Ew. Yuck. Repeat. Peter Pan is NOT like that. J.M. Barrie is rolling over in his grave.
Baelfire is rejected by the shadow since he isn't the boy he's looking for. One of the Lost Boys call the shadow by the name of Peter Pan and the spooky music starts.
Wait..? That's the twist?
Anyone with half a brain or even in a coma would have figured out the shadow is Peter Pan.
But wait, there's more. One of the Lost Boys shows a picture of the boy Peter Pan has been searching for...and it's Henry.
Oh! That's the big twist.
*picks up phone and calls ABC*
Excuse me, but that makes no sense. A twelve year old version of Baelfire was cast aside because he didn't resemble the boy in the picture.
See the problem?
The Lost Boys are looking at a sketch of a kid who won't be born for another twenty years!!!
The series started out promising. So good in fact, it kept me watching this year when I should have turned off the show. But this season the rules are all over the place. The stakes are raised, only to have an easy way out.
How many times have the characters been in a crunch because they couldn't use magic only to have a forgotten spell or some kind of 'new' magic save them anyway?
A perfect example is in the finale when Emma was able to help Regina contain the trigger. The most powerful spell to disable the most powerful curse was absolved in a couple of minutes when Emma decided she was magical enough to give it a try. Lucky for Storybrooke since she only suffered a bruised knee when the spell was absorbed and the whole town was saved.
Sure. Of course.
I'm not sure how long I can stay loyal to a show that insults my intelligence by adding inconsistent elements for convenience sake. If I wrote a story that way, my agent would make me start all over again. And rightly so, it's cheating.
And let's not forget they killed off the Sheriff in season one. Now if ABC gave him a show, I'd totally tune into that.
We're aboard Captain Hook's ship while he broods over a sketch of Mila. Bill Smead is worried about the boy they plucked from the ocean, but Hook sees this as an opportunity. He questions Baelfire and it's soon apparent that he's the son of his dead girlfriend. Hook keeps this info a secret and instead offers Baelfire a spot on his ship.
As Henry enjoys the Storybrooke playground, Mr. Gold watches from behind, lurking like he always does. Mary Margaret and David arrive and tell him that Neil had been shot by Tamara and then slipped through another portal, and is now probably dead.
David then drops the bomb about Regina's trigger. Mr. Gold blames himself for Neil's demise and is quite happy to let Storybrooke explode all around him.
Never ask a grieving father to help end a diabolical plan.
Hook walks through the mining tunnels with Tamara and Greg. They take a pick axe and explain that according to their people, once they smash the diamond trigger, it will activate the self destruct sequence.
Regina gets up just as Henry, Mary Margaret, Emma, and David enter the apartment. The room suddenly shakes. Regina tells them the trigger has been activated. Everyone will die except for Henry, since he's the only one born in this world.
Hook arrives and says he's on their team now since Greg and Tamara are crazy pants. He's all about revenge, but he's more into living.
Emma comes up with the super fantastic plan for David and Hook to find some magic beans, while she helps Regina slow down the trigger.
How? Doesn't matter.
In the meantime Mary Margaret and Henry will round up all the magic folk to be ready to leave.
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Hook tells Bill Smead he's not giving Baelfire over to 'the shadow thing.' The Lost Boys arrive like creepy vampire monks and decide to search the ship for Baelfire. Apparently the shadow doesn't like to lose boys that belong to him.
Ew.
Hook retrieves Baelfire from his hiding place, but scoffs at the notion that he's a nice guy for keeping him away from the creep squad.
The dwarfs invade Mr. Gold's shop. Grumpy says Mother Superior (the blue fairy) came up with a spell that will return Sneezy's memories. Once she had a hair from Pinocchio, a creature who returned to his genuine self, the spell was complete.
Ouch. Headache.
Anyway, the dwarfs are there to get Sneezy's beer stein which happened to be in Mr. Gold's shop.
How? Doesn't matter.
Before he leaves, Grumpy gives an extra does of potion to Mr. Gold to use on racy Lacey. But he tucks it away, since the new version of Belle likes bad guys with even worse teeth.
Hook and Baelfire bond at the wheel and talk nautical stuff. Baelfire tells Hook about his dad being The Dark One and how he changed into a bad dude once he became magical.
David and Hook walk through the sardine cannery looking for some loose magic beans Tamara might have dropped. They surprise Greg, but Tamara is his back up and starts firing rounds. A fight/chase/struggle ensues. Greg and Tamara end up getting away with a bottle of beans, but Hook manages to get one.
How? Doesn't matter.
Regina and Emma go into the mine.
How did they know where the trigger was? Doesn't matter.
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Regina tells Emma that in order to contain the curse she will have to absorb all the magic. She WILL die. She asks Emma to tell Henry that in the end she became the person he wanted her to be. She ignores Emma's pleas and starts the magic absorbing act.
Slowly, Storybrooke is taken over by the forest. Mr. Gold and Lacey share a drink while the town screams from the streets. He realizes he wants Belle back before they both die. He pours the potion in her chipped cup and she takes a swig. Instantly Belle has the memories of Sneezy.
Just kidding, it's Belle. And they immediately start to make out.
Damn you, ABC. *Shakes fist at TV*
The both hug each other and grieve for Neil.
David and Hook arrive at Granny's pub/diner/laundromat and announce they have a bean. It's all a go until Emma tells Henry about Regina's plan to suck up all the bad magic. Henry comes up with the idea to toss the trigger into the vortex.
Emma worries this won't work and Henry will be left alone in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Mary Margaret works her Joan Crawford eyebrows and tells Emma they have to try and save Regina.
Emma finally agrees, then Hook grabs the bean. He says Regina owes them her life. Emma gets all in his face slobbering about how Henry lost his dad today and how dare Hook look so sexy when everyone is about to die.
Hook gives her a funny glance and asks who Henry's father was. She tells him it was Neil, aka Baelfire.
Back on the pirate ship, Bill Smead challenges Hook to give up Baelfire or the shadow will destroy them all. Baelfire comes above deck with a knife and his mother's portrait from Hook's desk. Hook confesses that Mila was his true love and that Rumpelstiltskin ripped out her heart and crushed it.
Baelfire blames Hook for destroying his family.
Regina is surprised when the group shows up ready with the bean-portal-trigger-plan. When Emma opens up the pouch it's empty. Hook sails away on his ship, magic bean in hand.
Hook tries to convince Baelfire not to jump ship, but he's not buying into the pirate life. The Lost Boys arrive and take Baelfire without a fight.
The forest takes over Storybrooke. Regina tells Emma, David, Mary Margaret, and Henry that the end is near. Everyone group hugs and Emma comes up with another great idea. Since she's magical when it's convenient, she puts her hands on the trigger as well.
How? Doesn't matter.
After a few minutes, both women are pushed to the ground and the diamond goes black again.
The forest retreats and everyone is alive. Again they group hug. Once the love fest is over they realize Henry is missing. Emma runs through the tunnels and finds Tamara's bag.
Tamara and Greg have Henry and are rushing out of town. It seems the really didn't want the magic of Storybrooke, they wanted Henry.
Emma and the gang chase them down to the waterfront. Tamara throws a bean into the harbour creating a vortex to another world. She and Greg jump in with Henry in tow.
Emma screams as the vortex closes over. Mr. Gold and Belle arrive just in time to get caught up on all the news. When no one has any hope left, Hook turns his ship around offers up the last magic bean. Mr. Gold offers his services since he can track where Tamara and Greg have gone.
How? Doesn't matter.
Hook gives Mr. Gold the stinky eye since he's the dude he's been trying to kill for a few decades. Anyway, Mr. Gold tells Belle she has to stay and take care of Storybrooke since Greg and Tamara were a small part of a large group of wackos. He leaves her instructions rolled up in ribbon about how to put the town under an invisibility spell. He casually mentions the prophecy of how Henry will be his undoing.
Belle starts to cry when she realizes Rumpelstiltskin isn't coming back. He needs to save Henry to honor Baelfire's memory.
Neil washes up on a shore and is quickly rescued by Mulan, Aurora and Prince Phillip.
Hey, guys! How you doin'?
Mr. Gold wastes no time on Hook's ship before he gets out his magic globe to track Henry.
How? Doesn't matter.
His face grows even more lined. He locks eyes with Hook. Henry is being taken to Neverland. Hook grows nervous and tells them they're about to face someone they should all fear—Peter Pan.
The Lost Boys come ashore with Baelfire, but he doesn't match the sketch of the boy Peter Pan is looking for, he's looking for Henry.
Stuff I Liked About This Episode
#1. Hook's leather pants.
#2. The vortex plan actually made sense.
#3. Neil is still alive.
Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode
#1. Mary Margaret's eyebrows. Holy cannoli! Am I the only one who noticed?
#2. Peter Pan does NOT kidnap little boys.
#3. Emma's magical ability is way too convenient.
Since this is the last episode until next season, I've decided to start blogging Game Of Thrones. The only thing I know about the show is that there are dragons, everyone is dirty, and there are a lot of battle scenes.
Baelfire is being sucked into a green vortex while Rumpelstiltskin's grip slips. As we all know by now, Rumpelstiltskin loses Father Of The Year award by choosing magic over his son. Baelfire gets whisked away to a land where there is no magic...London, England.
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Six months later, Baelfire is a typical orphan, looking like he's ready to audition for the musical version of Oliver Twist. He sneaks into a lavish house, and ravishes a loaf of bread. A young girl is alerted by the barking Saint Bernard, but instead of throwing him out, she offers him more food, she introduces herself as Wendy Darling.
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Tamara leaves Neil for her early morning jog/secret diabolical plan. He stays in bed but is soon woken by a screaming Dr. Whale. Mr. Gold and Lacey are having sport by bullying random towns people. Neil breaks up the fight and reminds Mr. Gold he's not being much of a role model.
Dear ABC,
Why does Mr. Gold not care about Neil anymore? Didn't he orchestrate the whole elaborate curse just to find Neil?
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Emma and David break into Regina's office looking for the missing magic beans. They find the plant, but, uh-oh no beans, plus no one has seen Regina. Emma can tell from the alarm that someone overrode the security system. Henry is worried. Mary Margaret and David thinks it's Mr. Gold, but Emma is still convinced Tamara is guilty of anything that goes wrong in Storybrooke.
Hook has Regina strapped down on a stretcher as Tamara and Greg watch behind glass. Tamara shows Greg the magic beans she just stole from Regina's office. Greg shows her the gold bag with the big black diamond that he found on Regina (trigger to end the curse and destroy Storbrooke). He's clueless of course.
Obsessed with finding his father, Greg begins to shock Regina, convinced torturing her will lead to information about his dad. Hook walks out, since he's only into torturing and killing Rumpelstiltskin.
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Wendy's parents find out that she's been hiding Baelfire in the nursery. Instead of throwing him to the nearest workhouse, Mrs. Darling adopts him.
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Emma takes her concerns about Tamara to Neil. He can't believe his fiance is a stealer of magic beans AND killer of wooden puppet men. But he goes with Emma anyway because she looks really hot with her hair down.
Wendy shows Baelfire around the nursery and excitedly tells him about the magic shadow that comes to the window sill sometimes. Baelfire grow pale and says magic always comes with a price. He begs her to NEVER open that window. Magic breaks up families.
Or in the right hands can defeat Lord Voldemort, but whatever.
Mary Margaret and David pay Lacey and Mr. Gold a visit. Since he still owes David a favor, Mr. Gold shows then a vial that contains one of Regina's tears. In order for the spell to work, he needs one of Mary Margaret's tears.
How can he expect her to cry on demand? Oh, never mind, she's crying already. Well, that was easy.
Now Mary Margaret can see and feel everything Regina is experiencing.
Remember that okay? SEE and FEEL everything.
Mary Margaret takes the potion, hoping that if she helps Regina this time, some of the light will come back in and make her good again.
Right, because it's happened all the other times Mary Margaret helped her.
Back in the Darling Nursery, Baelfire wakes up and sees Wendy sitting on the window sill, eagerly waiting to be whisked off to a magical land. The shadow comes and takes Wendy away, while Baelfire watches in horror.
Emma and Neil walk on the beach and open up old wounds while they search for clues that will link his fiance to the Mayor's disappearance. Tamara crosses their path in her running gear and Emma feels foolish.
After Tamara leaves to continue her fake run, Neil finally apologizes to Emma for being such a loser and letting her go to jail for him. Plus there's that staying away from her for the next ten years thing, too.
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Regina tolerates the torture treatment while Greg and Tamara monologue about how evil and dirty magic is and their job is to cleanse the land.
Okaaaay.
Apparently they're not the only ones. They tell Regina there is an army of people who want to rid the world of magic.
Has anyone called Disney?
Mary Margaret is getting shocked by proxy in her apartment. This makes sense because she can FEEL AND SEE everything that's happening to Regina. Mary Margaret tells David she can feel intense pain and that it's cold and smells like sardines.
Dear ABC,
Too bad she can't remember the faces of the people towering over her, staring down at her, explaining their diabolical plan in detail.
Emma is on her cell phone with David when he gives her the super important sardines clue. She and Neil go speedy quick to Storybrooke's cannery.
Hey, they should see Cinderella's guy, Sean! He works at the cannery...or he used to. Where are they, anyway?
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Baelfire is woken by Wendy returning from her trip. She tells him she was away for much longer than one night. At first it was lovely with mermaids and fairies, but when night came all the children started crying and wanted their parents. But the shadow won't let anyone leave Neverland.
Wendy only managed to return because the Shadow doesn't want girls. She begins to shake and cry and tells Baelfire the shadow is coming back the next night for her little brothers.
Dear ABC,
Ew. Yuck. Gross. Extremely uncomfortable twist.
Emma and Neil sneak through the cannery only to end up running into David and Mary Margaret. Tamara can see the others on the monitor and lets Greg know that they're about to be found. He won't leave Regina until she tells him the whereabouts of his father. After Tamara takes off, Regina buckles and tells Greg his father is dead and buried at their old campsite.
Baelfire helps the Darling children ready the nursery, but locking the window and hiding under the bed don't fool the creepy shadow. When little Michael is about to be taken, Baelfire offers to go in his place.
Greg keeps zapping Regina until she's practically dead. David rushes in and shoots at Greg who easily dodges the bullet and gets away speedy quick. Mary Margaret arrives close behind, looking and sounding full of life.
Dear ABC,
Why isn't she almost dead like Regina?
Emma and Neil block off the exit, ready to catch Greg, but Tamara comes up behind and knocks out Emma. Tamara takes her gun and pulls it on Neil. She uses this time to monologue about evil magic and how the fiance thing is just a cover. Then she shoots him in the chest to prove her point.
Emma jumps Tamara from behind and the two karate fight like it's Charles Angels. Tamara knows she can't beat Emma's hair so she throws down one of the magic beans and escapes while Emma struggles not to get sucked in.
Neil jumps to save her and somehow ends up falling in. Emma has him by the hand and begs him not to let go. Her fingers slip, and they both pledge their love for each other. He tells her she has to stay and take care of Henry so that he doesn't grow up without a parent. He lets go and Emma is alone...again.
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Greg frantically digs in the middle of the forest and he uncovers a skeleton.
Back at Mary Margaret's apartment the Blue Fairy performs healing magic on Regina. When she pronounces her as good as new, Emma arrives all wind blow and drops the bomb about Neil.
Baelfire is being dragged through the air by the shadow. He manages to escape by lighting a match. When the shadow drops him, he falls into the ocean below and is picked up by a ship captained by Hook.
As Mary Margaret wipes Regina's brow—just like the last episode, she is terrified to learn that both Tamara and Greg have escaped...with her black diamond (the curse trigger)!!!
Tamara meets Greg in the forest. She shows him the trigger and let's him know that their army of magic haters is ready to proceed with the next step in their diabolical plan. Hint, it deals with a big explosion.
Hey, next week is the finale!
Stuff I Liked About This Episode
#1. Emma finally got proof that Tamara was bad.
#2. We didn't have to see Lacey and Mr. Gold make out.
#3. Emma's navy peacoat.
Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode
#1. Peter Pan is NOT a boy stealing creep!!! Yuck. Ew. Gross.
#2. Shouldn't Hook have recognized Baelfire?
#3. There were no fish in the cannery because there are no fishermen in Storybrooke, so how can the cannery smell like sardines?
A young Snow White approaches her mother, the Queen, super excited about her upcoming royal birthday. The Queen promises to give her a gift that was once her grandmother's and will now be passed down to her.
When Snow White and the Queen enter her room they catch one of the servants trying on a tiara.
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It's Mrs. Padmore from Downton! Hi Mrs. Padmore!
But the Queen insists on calling her Johanna.
Snow White chastises Johanna, but the Queen Mother steps in and demands that Snow apologize. Then there's a long speech about how she has to rule the kingdom with kindness and goodness in her heart...or something like that.
Suddenly the Queen Mother collapses and Johanna runs to fetch Carson.
Mary Margaret and David argue over the fact that she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, mumbling something about a curse.
OMG! That again! I'm so sick of everyone blaming the curse.
There's a present left anonymously for Mary Margaret, and it's the tiara. The card is signed from Johanna.
When David arrives at the Sheriff's station he finds Schmexy waiting for him!!
Just kidding.
Hook is there instead. He easily knocks David out—he's so manly he only needs one hand, and steals his set of keys. Hook searches the office like a madman, unlocking every cabinet.
Actually he opens one drawer and finds exactly what he wants—his hook.
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Mary Margaret finds Johanna gardening in front of her home. Johanna explains how she saw the tiara in Mr. Gold's shop and just had to get it for her birthday. They talk about flowers and how Snow White was named after a flower that bloomed even in the harshest weather, because she was born during a snow storm...or something like that.
The both hear something and Mary Margaret takes off into the woods. She spies Cora and the Mayor digging in random spots, in search of Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. The Mayor is frustrated because Hook's map is magical and only he can read it properly.
Cora eases the frustration and explains that her magic will fix the map. It will only take some more time, but it will be worth it when they can use the dagger to make The Dark One kill anyone they want.
Dear ABC,
Isn't it convenient they went over their diabolical plan AGAIN, right at the exact moment Mary Margaret stumbled upon them?
Mary Margaret runs speedy quick to the Sheriff's office just as David starts to wake up. She explains the two most evil and powerful woman in the village are looking for the most powerful and evil weapon.
This is their plan; Mary Margaret is going to convince the Mayor NOT to trust her mother.
Huh?
Back in New York, Henry starts bonding with his dad, Neil while Emma and Mr. Gold lurk close behind feeling like a couple of lost causes.
Mr. Gold gives us his quote of the show, “The people who are the closest to us, are the ones capable of hurting us the most.”
So true. Especially if the one who is closest to you keeps giving you nuggies.
Mr. Gold keeps nettling Emma to convince Neil to return back to Storybrooke. She gives him a line about trying to protect Henry. Mr. Gold calls her out and says she's still in love with Baelfire...um Neil.
Mary Margaret tricks the Mayor into visiting her at Granny's pub/laundromat/diner under the guise of the latest news about Henry. Mary Margaret confronts her about her forest activities with dear ole' mom, and tries to convince her that Cora doesn't care about helping her get custody of Henry.
The Mayor isn't buying it. She throws out a snide remark about mother's who die.
Little Snow White stays at her mother's bedside and suggests her birthday ball should be cancelled until her mother is feeling better. The palace doctor exchanges glances with Johanna and Snow White picks up that things aren't looking that good.
She takes Johanna aside and begs her for help. Johanna whispers that since the doctor is clueless that maybe this would be a good time to consult the Queen's very secret, very mysterious magical consultant.
Apparently there's a fairy that only grants wishes to those who are true of heart...or something like that.
Cleavage warning.
Emma casually brings up Storybrooke to Neil. He refuses to return, but then confesses he has something to tell her.
Henry bursts between them, spoiling the moment. He and Neil go up to his apartment to get his camera for there latest New York tourist activity, while Emma and Mr. Gold wait downstairs.
Suddenly, without any warning, like totally by surprise, Hook jumps out from nowhere and attacks Mr. Gold, piercing his heart with his hook, his enchanted hook.
Dear ABC,
If Hook gets Mr. Gold's enchanted heart, then he controls him...right?Why didn't Cora do this instead of digging up the whole forest?
But before he can rip out his heart, Emma knocks Hook out with a trashcan.
Neil races into the scene! He looks at the unconscious pirate with disgust, remembering when his Mother ran away with Hook. The sight of Mr. Gold dying warms Neil's own heart and he takes his Papa back up to his apartment for some first aid.
After Emma locks up Hook in the utility closet, she finds Neil hovering over Mr. Gold, pressing a bandage to his chest and talking craziness about hospitals and emergency departments.
But Mr. Gold puts the kibosh on that plan, since Hook's hook (it sounds funny but it's true) was covered in poison and the antidote is only available in Fairy Tale Land.
How will they get back?
Emma mentions Hook's map and figures he sailed to Storybrooke. Neil coughs up to volunteer as captain and sail his Papa back for the cure.
Wow, that was easy.
David and Mary Margaret rush to the Head Nun's house (aka Blue Fairy) and beg for her to use her magic to find the dagger before Cora gets her hands on it. Mary Margaret says, “Please Mother Superior, you're our only hope.”
Dear ABC,
Why does that line sound familiar?
Little Snow White goes into the woods in search of the Blue Fairy. She finds her without too much effort but is upset when the Blue Fairy, in all her over the top Las Vegas cleavage, tells her that fairy magic is the most pure of magic and using it to extend a life would darken it...or something like that.
But the Blue Fairy lets it slip that there is a way to help using a magic that is dire for fairies to use and she makes the little princess promise NOT to tell anyone.
The Blue Fairy gives Snow White a candle infused with magic. But all magic comes with a price; in order for the Queen to live, someone else must give up theirs, and it's up to Snow White to decide.
Yikes! She's like twelve.
Snow White realizes the Queen wouldn't be too keen on this, and she refuses the candle.
Okay, that was a waste.
Emma gets a text from David. She tells Mr. Gold he has to tell her where he's hidden the dagger so they can get it first before Cora. He refuses, but then she plays the, 'you better start trusting your family,' card.
Mother Superior can't get into Mr. Gold's shop, her magic is too pure and weak...or something like that.
Mary Margaret asks her to use dark magic and give her a 'wink-wink-nudge-nudge.' But the Blue Fairy has no clue what she's talking about. Before this conversation can continue, David's phone rings. It's Emma! And she knows where the dagger is.
Little Snow White rushes to her mother's bedside and confesses about her foray into forest and her unwillingness to kill someone else in order to save her mother's life.
The Queen says she's proud of Snow White and that as long as she holds the spirit of goodness in her heart, she will always be with her. Then she takes her last breath as the violins play and the tears flow.
David and Mary Margaret find the dagger hidden behind the town clock. Cora and the Mayor appear in a plume of purple smoke. Before Mary Margaret can say, “Ha! Good always beats evil,” Cora snaps her fingers and a very confused Johanna is summoned. The Mayor does the chest punch trick and turns to Mary Margaret with Johanna's enchanted heart in her fist.
Quick! Ring for Carson!!!
Once again, there is a choice of one life over another.
Johanna puts the tiara on little Snow White, all dressed in black. She tells her to buck up and be the leader the Queen always wanted her to grow into.
Where the heck is the King during all this?
Little Snow White gives her mother a final good-bye. After the funeral, the Blue Fairy flies into the empty room. In a swirl of purple smoke, she turns into Cora.
Cora saunters up to the tomb and explains to the Queen's corpse (and us) that she poisoned her on purpose and tried to trick Snow White into using black magic. However, she will not give up and promises to turn Snow White's good soul into a dark one.
Mary Margaret begs for Johanna's life. Cora says one sentence about the Queen wanting her to be good. Mary Margaret uses her inner Scooby-Doo and figures out it was Cora who pretended to be the Blue Fairy, and it was Cora who poisoned her mother.
Cora smiles with a shrug and says it was all done so that Regina could be Queen. This is news to the Mayor, but she keeps her cool and demands the dagger.
David whispers, “No, Mary Margaret we can still win.”
Why doesn't she just throw the dagger at Cora's eyeball?
Mary Margaret drops the dagger. The Mayor gives Johanna a heart transplant and she runs to Mary Margaret's arms. Cora scoops up the dagger, then with a whip of her wand, sends Johanna through the clock window to her death on the pavement below.
Way to go Mary Margaret.
Cora and the Mayor return to her house where it's the Mayor's turn to impersonate Scooby-Doo. She monologues about how her mother orchestrated the meeting of Snow White on the runaway horse knowing that the King would be lonely and looking for a new wife.
Then she asks what they'll do about Henry once Mary Margaret blabs about the nasty business with Johanna. But Cora is cooler than the Grinch as she caresses the dagger, “Don't worry my dear,” she says. “My interests are in line with yours. The others will soon be an unfortunate memory and Henry will be yours.”
Neil and Emma hustle down the sidewalk. He's about to hot wire a car for their road trip back to Storybrooke when a beautiful woman rushes up and hugs him, acting all concerned since he told her he had to leave town quickly.
That's his big secret? He has a girlfriend!
Emma looks awkward and crumbles when Neil introduces her to his fiance.
That's his big secret? He has a fiance!
Mary Margaret and David stand over Johanna's grave (wow that was fast!) and do some deep soul searching. Good versus evil...blah, blah, blah.
Mary Margaret has had enough, “No more lives wasted. No more hearts broken!”
Um...okay. Got a plan?
David interrupts her pep talk with news about the nasty dagger and making sure they getit back before Mr. Gold returns to Storybrooke. Then Mary Margaret vows to kill Cora...or something like that.
Game on.
Stuff I Liked
1. Mary Margaret's various tam and big scarf combos. Also the plaid pea coat in the last scene was super sweet.
2. A lot of stuff happened.
3. Mrs. Padmore!
Stuff I Didn't Like
1. Everyone figured everything out faster than a mind reader.
2. Mrs. Padmore died.
3. The Sheriff didn't return.
Who is going to die next? And where the heck is Rapunzel?
Rumpelstiltskin enters his cottage and gives Mela the good news that he's been called up to fight in the ogre wars. She's afraid because well, duh, it's ogres and everything, but he convinces her his heroism will bring great honor to their little abode.
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Emma, Mr. Gold and Henry arrive at Bellfire's apartment in NYC.
The Mayor and Cora have a mother/daughter chat in the bedroom. Hook shows up and the Mayor explains to him (and us) that they can't leave Storybrooke to run down Mr. Gold, but Cora tells them this is the perfect time to use the one thing that he's defenceless against—the dagger.
Emma sees a guy take off out the fire escape. She yells to Mr. Gold and Henry that this MUST be Baelfire.
Of course it is.
Emma switches into Charlie's Angels gear and manages to tackle him after three blocks.
'Neil' tells Emma that he has never forgiven Mr. Gold for abandoning him.
Emma freaks out since Henry is now officially Rumpelstiltskin's grandson. He denies knowing who she really was when they met, but only found out her true identity after August showed up and opened his wooden box of doom, and showed him one neatly typed line, “I know you are Baelfire.”
I can't believe I've been writing it wrong all this time.
She says, “You gave me up because of Pinochhio”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.
Emma decides to keep Henry's existence a secret. Then for symbolic reasons, she rips off the necklace that was part of the key chain Neil gave her, and tells him it was a reminder to never trust anyone.
But, alas she has to keep her promise to Mr. Gold and deliver Baelfire.
Rumpelstiltskin is asked to guard a prisoner that can help turn the tides of the ogre war.
I hope he doesn't mess this up.
He lifts the flap and sees a child with their eyes sewn shut.
My kids screamed at this scene.
She begs Rumpelstiltskin for water. He is resistant, but when the little girl tells him Mela is already pregnant, he is intrigued. He gives her water and she tells him his actions on the battlefield will leave his son fatherless.
He gets angry since the whole point of going to war is to prove he isn't a coward, but he didn't sign up to die before his son is even born.
Emma calls Mary Margaret for advice about Baelfire. She tries to convince Emma to tell Henry the truth, but when Emma joins Henry and Mr. Gold, she tells them Baelfire got away.
The Mayor decides to pay Belle a visit in hopes of finding the dagger with his name. She puts Belle to sleep magically and then makes all the contents of her purse whirl through the air.
For the record, Nancy Drew could have done the same thing without magic.
The Mayor finds a slip of paper with a numerical code. With help from Cora and Hook, she searches the library and finds a hand drawn map...a treasure map.
Despite Emma's objections, Mr. Gold breaks into Baelfire's apartment.
Rumpelstiltskin learns about the next days battle and the little girl's prophecy is coming true. Convinced he's gong to die the next day and leave his son fatherless, he purposely breaks his foot in order to be deemed unfit to fight.
In Baelfire's apartment Mr. Gold can tell Emma is lying to him. He gets all up in her face for breaking their deal when Baelfire bursts into the room.
Rumpelstiltskin limps home to find Mela holding baby Baelfire. He's overjoyed but she confronts him about hurting himself on purpose, and bringing shame on their family. He asks her what he was supposed to do.
She's disgusted with him and says, “You could have fought. You could have died.”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.
Baelfire demands Mr. Gold leave his apartment. Mr. Gold picks up on the obvious clue when she calls him 'Neil'. After a lot of shouting, Henry comes out of hiding. Baelfire does the math and asks if Henry is his son.
Emma drops the bomb shell leaving the three fellas gobsmacked.
Greg, the guy who ran Hook over with his car, is allowed to wander the hospital and take videos with his phone. While the Mayor was unnecessarily making Belle's purse hover in the air, he managed to film it and e-mail it to his wife.
Cora and the Mayor take give each other high fives after Hook decodes the treasure map. Once they have the dagger, they will control the Dark One, and then he can kill Emma, Mary Margaret, and anyone else they don't like. Henry will go back to live with the Mayor, la dee da, and all will be as it should.
Yup. That's iron clad.
Mr. Gold tells Baelfire that there is no greater pain than regret. He propositions Baelfire to return to Storybrooke where, surprise... there's magic! Then they can start over and forget all that Dark One nonsense.
But Baelfire isn't buying it and he reminds Mr. Gold how he let him get sucked into the vortex instead of giving up magic.
Rumpelstiltskin wanders the forest as the Dark One. He meets up with the seer, who is now a young woman. He blames her for being light on the details about her first prediction. She tells him he will find his son again, but the path won't be an easy one and it will take many years.
He gets tired of her riddles and decides to take away her power of sight so he can 'see' for himself.
Baelfire and Henry bond on the fire escape as Mr. Gold watches, reliving all his mistakes.
Before she dies, the seer tells Rumpelstiltskin that a boy will lead him to his son, but the boy will be his undoing. After hearing that Rumpelstiltskin vows to kill this 'boy'.
Well, that's unlikely now, isn't it.
Stuff I Liked About This Episode
Emma's eye make-up.
Cora's 'modern' look. Seriously, check out the lovely wavy hair.
FINALLY seeing what August was hiding inside the box. Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode
If Mr. Gold can magically fix Dr. Frankenstein's severed arm, why can't he fix his limp?
How I misspelled Baelfire's name in every previous recap.
