Showing posts with label Mermaid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mermaid. Show all posts

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Happily Ever After; Dating Service for Fictional Characters, Session Three

Voted as the number one on-line dating service for fictional characters.


It doesn't matter if you're a hero or a zero on the pages, our on-line dating service will help you find your soul mate.

We'll have you picking out matching bookmarks before you can say, 'library late fees'.

We helped Victor Frankenstein find love in our very first on-line chat room, and our second session featured a war or wits between Lydia Bennet, George Weasley, and Pip from Great Expectations.

This session is about to get started! Let's see who's looking for love today.


Moderator: Hello, everyone. I see we have a whole new group! Splendid. Who would like to start the conversation tonight? How about you, Ariel?

Mute Maid: First of all, I'm not used to using a computer. Being submerged in water most of the day cramps my social media presence. But since my voice was stolen I have no choice but to join an on-line chat group.

marymishapblosspot.com

Nancy Drew: Is that why your user name is 'Mute Maid'?

Mute Maid: You're a clever two legged one, aren't you?

Nancy Drew: It's kind of my thing, I guess.

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Jacob Black: Whoa, like did you just say, oops I mean type, two legged one? Does that mean you're not human? Hey, that's cool with me. So...how do you feel about four legs?

Romeo Montague: O, here upon this keyboard I press the letters that shall bequeath my purest dream come true. How is it that thou shall not speaketh, Mute Maid? And may the conviction of your soul bare to me the solution for all our woes the God's have vexed upon us.

Jacob Black: Dude. Like, what?

Nancy Drew: I think he's asking Mute Maid how she lost her voice.

Mute Maid: I made an unsavoury trade with a spiteful sea witch.

Percy Jackson: Oh yeah? What's her name? I might be able to help you out.

Mute Maid: Ursula is not to be underestimated. What do you know of the sea?

Percy Jackson: Quite a bit, actually. My dad is Poseidon.

Mute Maid: ZOMG! No way!!!

Jacob Black: Hey, sorry to interrupt, but a sea witch is no match for my cunning stealth and massive fangs.

Nancy Drew: Yikes! Are you half shark or something?

Jacob Black: Some know me as Shark Boy, but I'm a werewolf now.

Mute Maid: I don't suppose werewolves can swim?

Romeo Montague: Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! Why then, does love create these bonds that tether us to a dateless bargain of engrossing death?

Nancy Drew: Sorry, was that a question or a statement?

Romeo Montague: Thouest have the loveliest of names, Miss Nancy Drew.

Nancy Drew: Thank you, Romeo. Tell me, what are some of your interests?

Romeo Montague: Sword fighting, revenge, buying tights and smart gold trimmed tunics, going to balls...


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Percy Jackson: Can we get back to the ocean thing? Mute Maid, are you free next Friday?

Jacob Black: Hey, Bro, back off. I don't care if your dad has a fish tail for legs and owns a magical fork—

Percy Jackson: It's called a Trident, fang face.

Jacob Black: Whatever. I'm a way better date than you. I can run fast and there's always plenty of homemade muffins and spaghetti at my house.

Mute Maid: What's spaghetti?

Nancy Drew: Hannah, our housekeeper, makes the best muffins!

Jacob Black: And I can swim really fast, too.

Mute Maid: That's important.

Jacob Black: And I never get cold, so we could travel to Antarctica or something and hang out on an ice flow.

Mute Maid: Oh...but how can I kiss you if you're a werewolf?

Jacob Black: No problemo, I can turn into a MAN whenever I want. Although since I can't travel with clothes when I'm a werewolf, I'll be naked when I transform to kiss you.

Nancy Drew: Insert awkward silence here.

Romeo Montague: O, pained heart! You speaketh the truth. The frosted breath of lovers denied cannot battle the boundaries of thine flesh.

Mute Maid: I think Romeo is right, Jacob. I'm not quite ready for naked hugs on the first date and I can't risk becoming sushi in your arms.

Jacob Black: Well, I didn't mean it THAT way!

Percy Jackson: Mute Maid, I can breathe under water. And I promise to wear clothes on our date.

Mute Maid: ....I'll be at the end of Pier 21 on Friday at 6pm. And you can call me Ariel.

Percy Jackson: Awesome, Ariel. I'll bring my underwater white board and waterproof marker.

Nancy Drew: Smart thinking, Percy!

Mute Maid: I'm sorry, Jacob.

Jacob Black: I'm used to be passed over. It's okay.

Romeo Montague: Love's heavy burden is great indeed. No man nor werewolf shall be king of such a cruel power.

Nancy Drew: Um...Jacob. I'm presently working on a case that involves suspicious night time activities surrounding a supposed haunted house on the edge of my town. I could use a brave, fast running assistant.

Jacob Black: I'll bring a thermos of spaghetti!

Nancy Drew: And pants as well please. Okay?

Jacob Black: Should I take a shirt too?

Nancy Drew: Um...I'll leave that up to you ;)

Moderator: I'm sorry to say our time has come to an end. Delightful session, everyone. Hoping to see you next time.

Romeo Montague: Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Moderator: Yes, thank you, Romeo. And remember, if you have to have an 'ever after', make sure it's a happy one. Until next time...



Who would you like to see show up in the next chat room?





Monday, 4 November 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 6 "Ariel"

Or better title, "Spill the Beans!"


entertainmentoutlook.com


Snow White is chased by two of the Queen's guards, and ends up jumping off a cliff high above the water. She's rescued by a mermaid named Ariel—hence the clever title.

Back on Neverland, Regina is trying to train Emma to channel her anger to make magic. Mary Margaret mumbles something about the dark arts. Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE) whispers to David that Neal is alive and on the island. David thinks they should keep this a secret from Emma because Peter Pan might be lying, and they don't want to raise her hopes.

Mary Margaret argues back, “Secrets keep us from the people we care about.”

David rebuts, “But secrets also protect the ones we love.”


And Secret antiperspirant is made for a woman.


                                                                             tvfanfic.com

Ariel and Snow White talk about true love while sunbathing on the rocks. Ariel gushes about Prince Eric and how she fell in love when she rescued him from a ship wreck a year ago. She empties her sea shell purse and shows Snow White an invitation she found. Prince Eric is having a ball that very night.

Squeals and jumping claps all around.

Ariel plans on meeting him there on two legs. She explains to Snow White that every year at the highest tide, the Sea Queen, Ursula grants mer-folk the ability to walk on dry land until the next high tide...twelve hours. She then asks Snow White to keep her fishtail a secret until Prince Eric has totally fallen for her.

Snow White says her secret is safe.

Yup. She's a great secret keeper. Remember Daniel? The stable boy?

Emma asks what David, CSE and Mary Margaret are up to. Faster than you can say, 'stable boy', Mary Margaret blurts out that Neal is alive and on the island.

Peter Pan spies on Mr. Gold as he tries some hocus pocus in the heart of the jungle.

Let me say it again, the dark scenes are killing me.

Peter Pan says it's impossible to see the future in a place where time stands still. Mr. Gold declares he doesn't need magic to make the future happen. Peter Pan goads over the fact that Mr. Gold has lost his son...twice and now Henry is unattainable. But the only way Peter Pan can die is if Mr. Gold dies. While Mr. Gold cringes under his failures, Peter Pan offers him a way off the island and back to Belle and Storybrooke, but only if he leaves speedy quick.

Regina thinks looking for Neal is a waste of time. With only tracks that show a struggle has happened, Mary Margaret and Emma are ready to follow the dirt trail. Regina mentions that it makes more sense to save Henry first, then get the grown up dude. Mary Margaret uses bizarre logic that Emma owes it to Henry to find his father.

Can't they do that after they save Henry?

Snow White and Ariel arrive in beautiful gowns for the ball.

How? Where did these dressed come from?

Snow White shows Ariel that the little tridents are actually forks. Ariel is amazed and pockets it in her sea shell purse.

I'm only mentioning this because the fork may become an important weapon later on.


        
                                                                             cartermac.com

Anyway, Prince Eric comes down the stairs, looking fresh faced and ready for love. He smiles at Ariel. She smiles at him. She crosses the floor, and of course she trips. But he takes her in his arms and they start to dance. He thinks she looks familiar. He confesses she is the girl whose face he dreams of every night. After his shipwreck Ursula saved him and showed him a vision of his future, and it was Ariel's face!

Ariel denies this and says Ursula is just a myth.

Isn't this happening way too easy? Especially the dancing. She can't walk across the floor but she does the rumba effortlessly?

He says he is leaving the next day to explore distant lands, and he invites her to accompany him. She's confused because of the whole fish thing. He vows to wait on his balcony for her the next morning—you know, high tide.

The Evil Queen watches the ball through her magic mirror, miffed that Snow White didn't drown, and is in a party dress no less! But that Evil Queen is so smart and so slick, she thought up a diabolic plan and she thought it up quick.

Mr. Gold consults the Belle hologram. She urges him to return to Storybrooke so they can start a family. “Come home to me,” she begs. Regina arrives and starts to magically choke Belle. Mr. Gold tries to fight her off, but Regina's spell reveals that Mr. Gold has been confiding to the dark shadow thing all along.


                                               
                                                                              eonline.com
Emma confesses to Mary Margaret that she and CSE touched tongues. Mary Margaret assures her that Neal will understand. She tells her to hope that Neal is alive because she deserves a happy ending and all happy endings begin with hope.

Do you know who else deserves a happy ending. That's right, Schmexy.

Ariel is struggling with Prince Eric's proposal to travel with his caravan. Snow White urges her to tell him the truth and let him decide. Ariel only has three hours left. She stands at the waters edge and calls out to Ursula for guidance. Out of the water on eight tentacles, rises the Evil Queen (except she's wearing a blond wig and answers to the name Ursula).

Regina suggests that she and Mr. Gold team up to fight Peter Pan and save Henry since the Charmings are useless. Mr. Gold reminds her that his death is the only thing that will defeat Peter Pan. Regina says there must be something they can do, maybe something worse than death? Mr. Gold perks up at this and mentions an artifact in his shop.

Darn! If there was only a way to get back to Storybrooke.

The fake Ursula convinces Ariel that Eric will never want a mermaid as a girlfriend. Then she propositions a way for Ariel to keep her legs and keep her man. Ariel rushes back to Eric's castle. The sun is rising, it's almost high tide! Snow White is waiting for her on the wharf.

It's so convenient the castle edges the ocean.


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Anyway, Ariel excitedly tells Snow White she can escape the Evil Queen. She places a cuff bracelet on Snow White. In a plume of green smoke, Snow White's legs have turned into a mermaid tail. Ariel gushes about this latest plot twist. “Isn't it great!” she says. “I keep my legs and you get my tail. Now you can travel to my world and be safe forever.”

The tracks in the dirt lead Emma and the gang to a cave. CSE recognizes it as the Echo Cave, a prison without walls. The only way out is give over your deepest, darkest secret. The cave demands you reveal a truth about yourself, a truth you'd never tell anyone. CSE is convinced Peter Pan put Neal in the cave so that they would all have to dish their dirty laundry in order to save him.

The Evil Queen shows up on Prince Eric's wharf. Snow White struggles to remove the bracelet, but it's permanent. Ariel realizes she was duped. Snow White insists Ariel run to Prince Eric—at least she can have a chance at a happy ending. The Evil Queen starts the choking spell on Snow White. Suddenly, Ariel jumps behind her and thrusts the fork (I knew it!) into her neck.

The distraction works. Ariel quickly removes the cuff from Snow White's wrist, making her legs reappear. Now as a mermaid, Ariel grabs Snow White and dives into the ocean. The Evil Queen stomps her foot on the wharf.

Because what else can she do? There's nothing magical she can do to stop them? Really? Nothing? Fire ball? Shark frenzy? Ice burg?

Emma and the gang enter the Cave of Echoes and peer across a dark, bottomless chasm. Perched on a lone rocky plateau, in his bamboo cage, is Neal. He calls to Emma. Knowing there is no way across, but to tell their secrets, CSE ends the awkward silence by saying his kissed Emma.

Since this is only a secret to David, it's not that ground breaking. However, CSE then tells us that he never thought he'd love again after his Mila died.

Remember her, right? Rumpelstiltskin's wife.

Anyway, CSE's confession of love or 'something kind of like it' for Emma, magically extends a rock bridge a quarter of the way toward Neal.

*cough* love triangle *cough*

Mary Margaret is up next. She says she feels cheated that they missed Emma's childhood. And she wants to have another baby as soon as they get back to Storybrooke.

I'll point out that she didn't mention David necessarily had to be the father.

The rock bridge grows closer to Neal. David goes all gushy, but then he drops the bombshell that since he took the cure for dream shade, he'll die if he ever leaves Neverland. Bridge extends the entire way.

Everyone looks to Emma. She races toward Neal's cage. She tries to smash it open with her sword, but the only way to free Neal is for her to confess her deepest, darkest secret. When she found out he might still be alive she was terrified. As soon as she saw him again in New York, she knew she had never stopped loving him. But loving him and losing him is too painful. She was hoping he was actually dead so she could finally get over him.

The cage opens and they embrace. Now that Neal is free, the plan is to get the co-ordinates off his ceiling star map, get Tinkerbell, rescue Henry, and then get off the island. Except for David, because of the death thing. Emma takes Neal aside and tells him she's still wary of them becoming 'Nemma' again. He totally understands but he's still going to try and win her back. CSE watches from behind the ferns.

Which is easy to do because it's so frickin' dark. All the time. In every scene.

Mary Margaret gives David the cold shoulder since he kept his poisoning from her. She doesn't understand the concept of secret keeping.

*cough* stable boy *cough*

Ariel safely delivers Snow White to a nearby beach in British Columbia, Canada! She encourages her seek out Prince Eric and tell him the truth. Because the truth can set you free.

It can also set up a life long vendetta. See stable boy note above.

However, Ariel takes her advice and rushes back to the Prince's balcony, conveniently overlooking the water. He waits, hoping she'll appear soon. She calls out from the water, but there is silence. She has lost her voice!

The Evil Queen laughs from the wharf, perched on a wooden keg. She took the mermaid's voice on purpose. The only thing worse than telling the Prince and being rejected is never having the chance to find out the truth; never having a chance at a happy ending. Ariel cries...silently and does a full body breech. When the Evil Queen returns triumphantly to her castle, the real Ursula appears and threatens her to never impersonate her again.

Regina and Mr. Gold go to the Neverland beach. She takes the conch shell and sounds the horn across the ocean. Ariel arrives looking really pissed. Since mermaids can travel between realms, she can go to Storybrooke to get the 'special death device' from Mr. Gold's shop. Regina gives her back her voice and tosses her a magical cuff, promising that this time she can have legs and control over them. When Ariel still refuses to help, Regain plays her trump card—just like all the other fairy tale characters, Prince Eric was whisked away to Storybrooke as well.

Giddy up!

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 1 "Heart of the Truest Believer"

 Or better title, "Blood Magic; The Most Convenient Magic of all"


entertainmentoutlook.com


The show starts with Emma giving birth to Henry while the security guard from the prison looks on. She refuses to hold the baby, and tearfully says she's not fit to be his Mother.

We flash forward to present day as Hook, aka Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE), steers the gang toward Neverland.

Henry lands on a darkened beach with Naomi and Greg. They break it to Henry that they're not in the Enchanted Forest, but in Neverland “The Mother-load of Magic,” according to Naomi.
 
CSE points out to Regina how ironic it is that he's wasted most his life trying to leave Neverland to find Rumpelstiltskin, and now he's got him on board. Emma is bitter towards Mary Margaret and David. She says choosing to be good has never worked out for them. She decides being hopeful sucks and that her parents are useless. Mr. Gold breaks up the meeting and determines he's the one that can save Henry. He calls Emma out, saying she's still a non-believer.

He says, 'Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild, and unfortunately yours doesn't.' Then he disappears!

Greg and Naomi make a camp fire, hoping to connect with their evil counterparts. Out of the woods, the Lost Boys arrive and drop the bomb shell that they tricked Greg and Naomi. Their only mission is to collect Henry. While a freaky shadow thing rips out Greg's soul and Naomi is skewered, Henry takes off into the jungle. He's rescued by a young kid with big ears.




Back on the ship, Emma does chin ups in anticipation of some kick ass action to come. CSE gives her Baelfire's old sword. They throw back a few shooters, drinking to Neil.

In the Enchanted Forest, Neil wakes up surrounded by Mulan, Aurora and Prince Phillip.

So... I guess they found Phillip.

Aurora excitedly tells Neil that she knows Henry since they spent some time in the sleepy room of flames together. She's convinced she can contact him again with a message that Neil is alive and that he loves Emma.

The pirate ship comes under attack.

What is it? A whale? A krachan?

Nope. Angry mermaids. There's a lot of canons fired, then Regina gets bored and tosses a couple fire balls into the water. Emma manages to catch one and they bring it aboard.

FYI, mermaids in Neverland wear a lot of eye make-up and bejeweled bikini tops.

Henry and the mysterious boy with big ears take a rest. He shows Henry a vial of pixie dust, but claims it's useless. Then they talk about how creepy Pan is...you know about the stealing boys out of their beds issue.

Dear ABC,

J.M. Barrie is rolling in his grave.

Neil and Mulan converse about his bizarre childhood and upbringing. Aurora wakes from her sleep and determines she cannot make contact.

I'm shocked that she's useless...just like every other episode.

Neil puts on a sad face. Then he remembers his dad was so magical, he must have left something behind in his castle. Maybe that could help them?

Off to Rumpelstiltskin's castle!

Speaking of...Mr. Gold finds Naomi pulling herself along the ground with an arrow sticking out of her back. I know he's still Mr. Gold and NOT Rumpelstiltskin because his hair is straight and there's not a speck of gold glitter. He magically heals Naomi and asks her about Henry. She tells him Henry took off into the woods. She apologizes profusely and asks for his forgiveness. Instead, he rips out her heart and crushes it like a bag of potato chips.



Mulan and Neil travel to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. He confesses his fear of not having Emma love him back prevented him from telling her he loved her.

What? *scratches head*

The mermaid blows her conch shell and creates a storm. The others argue how to interrogate her; Mary Margaret wants to strike a deal, while Regina wants to kill her. Instead, Regina turns the mermaid into a statue. Suddenly a huge wave engulfs the entire ship.

Dummy. Everyone knows you never, NEVER turn a mermaid into stone.

In Rumpelstiltskin's castle Neil and Mulan search for some kind of magical solution to their problem.

Wait, that's every episode.

Robin Hood shows up and threatens them with his arrows, claiming that the castle is now his.

Does anyone see that this Robin Hood is completely different looking than the Robin Hood from last season?

Neil says he doesn't want the castle, only that one magical thing. Robin Hood tells Neil that Rumpelstiltskin actually spared his life.

Remember that episode?

Soon magical music starts...Neil finds his father's walking stick and a mysterious cabinet is revealed. Neil recognizes the blood magic.

Oh, okay. Blood magic. That's convenient.

Regina and Mary Margaret manage to have a fist fight on the ship. CSE and David decide to join them. Meanwhile, Emma tries to steer them through the storm. Since no one is listening to her, she dives overboard.

That, Emma. It's always about her desperate need for attention.

Henry and the kid with big ears are cornered by the Lost Boys. Henry grabs the vial of pixie dust and gives a lovely speech about how you have to believe in order for it to truly work. He takes the kid's hand and they jump off the cliff...and what do you know, they can fly. They can fly. They can fllllyyyy.

David ties a rope around his waist. He jumps in the angry waters after Emma and brings her to the surface. With the others helping, she's brought on board. She spits up some water and suddenly the storm stops.

Oh my gosh. It's like they had to work together to stop the storm...just like magic.

Mr. Gold finds the head Lost Boy, and says he's in Neverland for Henry. The Lost Boy gloats, promising a battle that will end Mr. Gold's life. Then he slaps down a present from Pan, a crude doll made from corn husks. Mr. Gold starts to cry.

Neil searches the hidden cabinet. He finds a snow globe and concentrates on how much he loves Emma. There is a vision and Neil sees that Emma is in Neverland.


She and the others have made it to the dark beach—except the mermaid, I don't know what happened to her. Emma reminds them all that this island is build on belief, and now is the time for them to all believe...not in magic (even blood magic), but to believe in each other.

I think Sesame Street called that cooperation.

Henry and the kid make it to safe ground. Then the boy reveals that he's Peter Pan. He's been on a mission to find the heart of the truest believer. And now Henry and his heart belong to Pan.


And now it's time for a musical request. This one goes out to Henry from Storybroke, the truest believer and youngest member of the most dysfunctional family.


 
 
 
 
 
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