Which Storybrooke Bachelor Is Your Best Match?

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Emma Swan can't have all the eye candy in Storybrooke. But with so many eligible characters to choose from, which guy is the best match for you?

Well wonder no more, check the personality quiz I created on Quibblo to help you solve this romantic conundrum.

I tested myself and got the Sheriff so  obviously it works flawlessly.

Good luck! Click here for the quiz.





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Are You a Book Pirate?

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I don't mean like Captain Hook or Long John Silver. I mean the book pirate who makes copies of hard copy books and original ebooks, and either sells them or makes them available on the internet for free.

People are still confused as to why this is wrong.

The truth is not many writers are able to support themselves solely by writing, which means most writers have another job.

Why should you care?

Well, let's say you happen upon a terrific book and you're delighted that it's going to be a series. But, oh man—it ends with a cliffhanger and you'll have to WAIT for months or even the next year for the sequel.

Wouldn't it be great if your favorite author wrote faster?

I'm sure they would love that too. But when they don't make enough revenue from book sales to write full time they may only get to work on their novels on the weekend, which means the book you're waiting for will take even LONGER to get on the shelf.

So book pirating affects readers...everywhere.

Still confused? Have you ever said this...

#1. "It doesn't matter if I copy this published book on my blog/tumblr/facebook page for free because the author is super rich."

It's not only the author who is losing revenue. The publisher, the editor, the people who design book covers, and most importantly the local bookstore are all losing out too.

Pirated books don't count in sales figures.

Publishers like to use these numbers to forecast what kinds of books people are buying to help them mainstream which authors/genres they should spotlight. If you're reading pirated books, you're decreasing the chance of another author (probably someone who has written a story you'd love) from getting a book deal.

#2. "It's not illegal. I'm not making any money."

Actually it is illegal. And why should you make money from something you had no hand in creating?

#3. "It's posted for free on the author's website so it's not book pirating."

Sorry, wrong again. Anything that anyone writes is copyrighted by law. Unless you have written permission from the author to post their work on your site, then you're a book pirate.

#4. "Authors should be lucky anyone is reading their book."

If that's how you truly feel, you've missed the whole point of reading the book.

#5.  "I can't afford to buy the book and the waiting list at the library is too long."

Perhaps this would be a good time for you to join a book club. The thing about book clubs is that a lot of members OWN books. Chances are someone in your school has a copy of that very book you're dying to read.

And guess what? Maybe you'll meet someone who loves books as much as you, and then you'll start your own book review blog. And before you know it publishers are contacting you to do reviews and sending you ARCs...for FREE! Then you can have contests so that other people (just like you) can read books for free without pirating.

I know most people who pirate books won't be swayed by this post, but I'm hoping there's at least one person who gets this and will make the decision to stop pirating. I hope that person is you.

And who says you can't read an amazing book for FREE?

Check out Wattpad for oodles of genres and even previews and contests from famous authors. If you're not on there, you should go...like right now. While you're there, check out NIGHT SHIFT.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of this post. Please enjoy this memorable scene from one of my favorite pirates.

Once Upon A Time, Season 3 Episode 14 "The Tower"

Or better title "Face Your Fear, Lose Your Sword"

 

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Charming searches the castle for a crying baby. He finds the nursery empty, but Emma is there fully grown and wearing a gown. She asks him to teach her to dance because her first ball is tonight and she's nervous.

They have a daddy/daughter dance and Emma tells him all of this was taken away from her because he failed her. The sky darkens and she tells him not to fail the next baby.

He wakes in a cold sweat. Snow White is by the window, super happy to be back in her castle. She tells him that she's pregnant. He's excited but Emma's lingering warning echo inside his head.

 

Emma and the others play Nancy Drew, trying to figure out which person is 3W (Wicked Witch of the West). Regina suggests someone watch out for Henry since flying monkeys are kidnapping people and a crazy witch is on the loose.
 

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Zalena taunts Rumpelstiltskin with his dagger (while it's in her possession, she can control him). She shaves him with the dagger and monologues about how it's important to hide the rotten ugliness that lingers inside their souls. She has a diabolic plan but she's keeping that a secret for now.

Darn her!

Rumpelstiltskin starts to spin gold, slowly going crazy.

Zalena enters Mr. Gold's shop and strikes up a conversation with Belle. She wants to buy a baby gift for Mary Margaret since she'll be the midwife. Belle graciously offers to find something. As soon as her back is turned, Zalena freezes her and heads straight for the safe.

She magics it open and retrieves a lump of...something?

David, Hook, and Emma search Regina's office for clues. They find a holly berry. David knows exactly where they grow, not far from the toll bridge. Mary Margaret calls, telling David he has to come back to the apartment to meet the midwife.

Really, Mary Margaret? He's looking for a witch.

Charming sneaks to the royal barn to have a few nips from his royal flask. Robin Hood shows up with his golden arrows from the Queen and they talk about how tough it is to be a dad in fairy tale land. Charming confesses he's losing confidence and can't ignore the overwhelming sense of dread.

Me too, Charming. Me too.

Robin Hood tells him of a root that will help overcome any fear, but he needs to be careful because that part of the forest is haunted.

Pfft! Haunted shmaunted.

Zalena and Mary Margaret giggle about boys until David shows up. He questions why Mary Margaret would hire a stranger to take care of their baby with a mysterious witch on the loose. Zalena makes them cups of tea with her own special blend.

Oh, that's what the lumpy thing was in Mr. Gold's safe.

How stupid are these two?

Charming finds the magic root without too much difficulty. He hears cries for help and discovers a tower with no door, only a high window. He climbs the thick brown rope. He makes it to the window and discovers the rope coils along the floor and is in fact a braid belonging to a young woman.
 

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The princess says her name is Rapunzel. Her parents rule a distant kingdom. Her older brother was supposed to be the next in line for the throne, but a terrible accident occurred and now Rapunzel will inherit the kingdom. Worried she would not be a good Queen, she sought the night root to quell her fears of inadequacy. But before she could return home a witch attacked her and chased her into the tower. And she's been trapped for years. 

*cough* info dump *cough*

Scary music tips off Charming something sinister is about to happen. The cloaked witch arrives and begins to climb up the tower.

Zalena has a Dr. Phil episode with David and Mary Margaret. She tells them it's unhealthy to keep fear bottled up.

It's also unhealthy to take a drink from a stranger.

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David finishes his tea, gives them a smile, and goes back to the woods to look for flying monkeys. 

Regina takes Henry for ice cream. They meander about Storybrooke talking about how small towns are better than a big city like New York. 

No one normal would ever say that.

Henry lets it slip that Emma is awesome, but he'd really like to have a bigger family.

Hook and Emma find the holly berries and start looking for a house. She confronts him about his lost year on the Jolly Roger. He says nothing, but she knows he's lying.

She has that super power, remember?

They talk about Emma's ex-boyfriend and Hook says he's glad she back on the market. It starts to snow and they stumble across a farm house.

David tracts their progress but he's being followed by the cloaked witch from Rapunzel's tower. Luckily he has his sword and cell phone. He leaves Emma a message that he's about to fight the wicked witch.

Back in the tower, Charming refuses to leave Rapunzel. He fights the hooded figure. At the same time, David fights the hooded figure in the woods. 

When do you think he'll realize he's fighting his fear and not an actual witch?

Hook and Emma approach the farm house. Emma notices the storm cellar is locked. Hook convinces her it's best to wait until they have magical back up in case flying monkeys come out at them. She uses her cell phone and hears David's message.

David attacks the hooded figure. The hood falls back and he sees himself. 

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Back in the tower, the hooded figure looks just like Rapunzel. Charming tells her that she is the witch, it is her own fear that is keeping her prisoner. The night root makes it happen. 

He tells her she has to defeat her fear of ruling the kingdom. She has to kill the witch in order to escape.

David tries to fight his own fear. He wins when he confesses that he's afraid he won't be a good father. He stabs the cloaked figure and it disappears...but so does his sword. 

Ta da! Spell broken. 

I guess Zalena put night root in his tea.

Rapunzel confesses that she was drowning and her brother jumped in and saved her, but he ended up dying. Her fear is that her parents will not forgive her. Charming brings Rapunzel back to the castle where her parents are waiting. He sees Snow White and confesses his fear of being a father. 

Cue the soft piano music.

Snow White tells him not to worry because they're going to do this together. 

Through the magic of conveniently written dialogue, we learn that when David faced his fear all of his courage was transferred to his sword, but unfortunately that sword is not in the possession of the mysterious witch.

Got that?

Zalena oozes with charm with Mary Margaret.

Why? Because she has a sword full of courage, that's why.

Hook, David and Emma return to the storm cellar. The lock is busted. Inside they find an empty cage full of golden straw. 

*Light bulb moment*

Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.








 

Once Upon A Time, Season 3 Sneak Peek-A-Thon

Oh my goodness, is it that time again, already?

I admit, I was a bit sore with the writers/producers/directors/key grip guy/make-up artists/coffee gofer and basically anyone else who had anything to do with the last episode of Season 2, "Straight On Until Midnight."

However, after a long summer of the Bachelorette Season 9, I'm ready to return to Storybrooke. And most importantly, Hook or Captain Sexy Eyes as I like to refer to him...(CSE) for short.

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The first episode of the third season will be two hours and I'm guessing there will be plenty of back flash footage we've already seen—which is perfectly acceptable if it involves seeing this dude again. The Sheriff of my dreams. *sigh*

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Okay, here's a sneak peek at all the evil fun and inconsistent magical times we're about to be dumped into.

 

 

 

 

What are you hoping to see the first episode?

 

 

 

 

 

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 22, “And Straight On Til Morning”

Or better title, “Doesn't Matter”

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We're aboard Captain Hook's ship while he broods over a sketch of Mila. Bill Smead is worried about the boy they plucked from the ocean, but Hook sees this as an opportunity. He questions Baelfire and it's soon apparent that he's the son of his dead girlfriend. Hook keeps this info a secret and instead offers Baelfire a spot on his ship.

As Henry enjoys the Storybrooke playground, Mr. Gold watches from behind, lurking like he always does. Mary Margaret and David arrive and tell him that Neil had been shot by Tamara and then slipped through another portal, and is now probably dead.

David then drops the bomb about Regina's trigger. Mr. Gold blames himself for Neil's demise and is quite happy to let Storybrooke explode all around him.

Never ask a grieving father to help end a diabolical plan.

Hook walks through the mining tunnels with Tamara and Greg. They take a pick axe and explain that according to their people, once they smash the diamond trigger, it will activate the self destruct sequence.

Regina gets up just as Henry, Mary Margaret, Emma, and David enter the apartment. The room suddenly shakes. Regina tells them the trigger has been activated. Everyone will die except for Henry, since he's the only one born in this world.

Hook arrives and says he's on their team now since Greg and Tamara are crazy pants. He's all about revenge, but he's more into living.

Emma comes up with the super fantastic plan for David and Hook to find some magic beans, while she helps Regina slow down the trigger.

How? Doesn't matter.

In the meantime Mary Margaret and Henry will round up all the magic folk to be ready to leave.

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Hook tells Bill Smead he's not giving Baelfire over to 'the shadow thing.' The Lost Boys arrive like creepy vampire monks and decide to search the ship for Baelfire. Apparently the shadow doesn't like to lose boys that belong to him.

Ew.

Hook retrieves Baelfire from his hiding place, but scoffs at the notion that he's a nice guy for keeping him away from the creep squad.

The dwarfs invade Mr. Gold's shop. Grumpy says Mother Superior (the blue fairy) came up with a spell that will return Sneezy's memories. Once she had a hair from Pinocchio, a creature who returned to his genuine self, the spell was complete.

Ouch. Headache.

Anyway, the dwarfs are there to get Sneezy's beer stein which happened to be in Mr. Gold's shop.

How? Doesn't matter.

Before he leaves, Grumpy gives an extra does of potion to Mr. Gold to use on racy Lacey. But he tucks it away, since the new version of Belle likes bad guys with even worse teeth.

Hook and Baelfire bond at the wheel and talk nautical stuff. Baelfire tells Hook about his dad being The Dark One and how he changed into a bad dude once he became magical.

David and Hook walk through the sardine cannery looking for some loose magic beans Tamara might have dropped. They surprise Greg, but Tamara is his back up and starts firing rounds. A fight/chase/struggle ensues. Greg and Tamara end up getting away with a bottle of beans, but Hook manages to get one.

How? Doesn't matter.

Regina and Emma go into the mine.

How did they know where the trigger was? Doesn't matter.

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Regina tells Emma that in order to contain the curse she will have to absorb all the magic. She WILL die. She asks Emma to tell Henry that in the end she became the person he wanted her to be. She ignores Emma's pleas and starts the magic absorbing act.

Slowly, Storybrooke is taken over by the forest. Mr. Gold and Lacey share a drink while the town screams from the streets. He realizes he wants Belle back before they both die. He pours the potion in her chipped cup and she takes a swig. Instantly Belle has the memories of Sneezy.

Just kidding, it's Belle. And they immediately start to make out.

Damn you, ABC. *Shakes fist at TV*

The both hug each other and grieve for Neil.

David and Hook arrive at Granny's pub/diner/laundromat and announce they have a bean. It's all a go until Emma tells Henry about Regina's plan to suck up all the bad magic. Henry comes up with the idea to toss the trigger into the vortex.

Emma worries this won't work and Henry will be left alone in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Mary Margaret works her Joan Crawford eyebrows and tells Emma they have to try and save Regina.

Emma finally agrees, then Hook grabs the bean. He says Regina owes them her life. Emma gets all in his face slobbering about how Henry lost his dad today and how dare Hook look so sexy when everyone is about to die.

Hook gives her a funny glance and asks who Henry's father was. She tells him it was Neil, aka Baelfire.

Back on the pirate ship, Bill Smead challenges Hook to give up Baelfire or the shadow will destroy them all. Baelfire comes above deck with a knife and his mother's portrait from Hook's desk. Hook confesses that Mila was his true love and that Rumpelstiltskin ripped out her heart and crushed it.

Baelfire blames Hook for destroying his family.

Regina is surprised when the group shows up ready with the bean-portal-trigger-plan. When Emma opens up the pouch it's empty. Hook sails away on his ship, magic bean in hand.

Hook tries to convince Baelfire not to jump ship, but he's not buying into the pirate life. The Lost Boys arrive and take Baelfire without a fight.

The forest takes over Storybrooke. Regina tells Emma, David, Mary Margaret, and Henry that the end is near. Everyone group hugs and Emma comes up with another great idea. Since she's magical when it's convenient, she puts her hands on the trigger as well.

How? Doesn't matter.

After a few minutes, both women are pushed to the ground and the diamond goes black again.

The forest retreats and everyone is alive. Again they group hug. Once the love fest is over they realize Henry is missing. Emma runs through the tunnels and finds Tamara's bag.

Tamara and Greg have Henry and are rushing out of town. It seems the really didn't want the magic of Storybrooke, they wanted Henry.

Emma and the gang chase them down to the waterfront. Tamara throws a bean into the harbour creating a vortex to another world. She and Greg jump in with Henry in tow.

Emma screams as the vortex closes over. Mr. Gold and Belle arrive just in time to get caught up on all the news. When no one has any hope left, Hook turns his ship around offers up the last magic bean. Mr. Gold offers his services since he can track where Tamara and Greg have gone.

How? Doesn't matter.

Hook gives Mr. Gold the stinky eye since he's the dude he's been trying to kill for a few decades. Anyway, Mr. Gold tells Belle she has to stay and take care of Storybrooke since Greg and Tamara were a small part of a large group of wackos. He leaves her instructions rolled up in ribbon about how to put the town under an invisibility spell. He casually mentions the prophecy of how Henry will be his undoing.

Belle starts to cry when she realizes Rumpelstiltskin isn't coming back. He needs to save Henry to honor Baelfire's memory.

Neil washes up on a shore and is quickly rescued by Mulan, Aurora and Prince Phillip.

Hey, guys! How you doin'?

Mr. Gold wastes no time on Hook's ship before he gets out his magic globe to track Henry.

How? Doesn't matter.

His face grows even more lined. He locks eyes with Hook. Henry is being taken to Neverland. Hook grows nervous and tells them they're about to face someone they should all fear—Peter Pan.

The Lost Boys come ashore with Baelfire, but he doesn't match the sketch of the boy Peter Pan is looking for, he's looking for Henry.

Stuff I Liked About This Episode

#1. Hook's leather pants.

#2. The vortex plan actually made sense.

#3. Neil is still alive.

Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode

#1. Mary Margaret's eyebrows. Holy cannoli! Am I the only one who noticed?

#2. Peter Pan does NOT kidnap little boys.

#3. Emma's magical ability is way too convenient.

 

Since this is the last episode until next season, I've decided to start blogging Game Of Thrones. The only thing I know about the show is that there are dragons, everyone is dirty, and there are a lot of battle scenes.

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 20 "The Evil Queen"

 Or better title, "No One Loves You, Not Even A Little"

 

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Tamara and Greg hide Hook in the broken clock tower and tell him they have a job for him. He laughs and says he could care less. He stabbed Rumpelstiltskin with a poisonous dagger and killed him so his motivation is out the door.

But Greg and Tamara push him to the open window and show him that Rumpelstiltskin not only survived but is having creepy fun times with bad girl Lacey.

Hook is furious at being denied his revenge. Tamara tells him she can help since she knows how to kill magical creatures.

Really? She zapped August and he turned into little Pinocchio.

Anyway, Hook is desperate so he agrees to help Greg capture Regina and grill her about his missing dad.

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The Evil Queen looks like she's going to a Prince and the Revolution concert, instead she's on the hunt for Snow White—how original.

She gathers up the local villagers to do a little propaganda about how Snow White poisoned the King. She offers a reward for information on her whereabouts, but the villagers are lock-lipped. The Evil Queen orders a mass killing.

She must find Snow White!

Okay, let's back track, shall we? The Evil Queen is doing this for one reason—because Snow White told Cora that Regina was in love with Daniel the stable boy. Cora then killed Daniel. This is why the Evil Queen is so evil. That's it. That's the thing that has fuelled her hatred all these millions of episodes.

 

David and Mary Margaret discuss the repercussions of going back to fairy tale land.

The magic beans are almost ready. Squee!

Mary Margaret is worried that Henry will be upset when they leave Regina behind. David comes up with a plan to offer her a choice; come back to fairy tale land but live in Rumpelstiltskin's cell for the rest of her life, or stay in Storybrooke.

He's a genius! No wait. He's a super genius.

But what the super genius doesn't realize is that Regina has been listening to them the whole time. And guess what? She's not into the jail thing.

The Evil Queen meets with Rumpelstiltskin. She can't understand why the peasants like Snow White more than her. He points out they fear her and her mass murdering ways. The Evil Queen is convinced that once Snow White is dead all the kingdom will like her more.

Wow! She's a genius just like David.

She asks Rumpelstiltskin to teach her a shape shifting spell (part of her big plan to kill Snow White), but he tells her it's so complicated it will take weeks. Undaunted she asks him to put the spell on her.

Listen carefully everyone. While the Evil Queen is under the spell she CANNOT do any magic and only Rumpelstiltskin can remove it. She says that's cool since she only wants to get close enough to Snow White to choke her with her bare hands.

"All Snow White did was tell Cora about Daniel..." says the little voice deep inside my heart.

Oh, never mind.

In return, Rumpelstiltskin asks her to cut all ties to King George's realm—I think that has something to do with Prince Charming. She agrees and he changes her into a poor peasant girl.
 

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Regina pays Henry a little visit and shows him the magic beans Mary Margaret and Emma have been harvesting secretly. He tells her he's hoping they will invite Regina when they're ready to go.

Regina's eyes light up at his naivete. “I want to go too,” she tells him, “but the others don't believe that I'm good, like you do.”

Henry is eager to find a way for her to come along because he still believes she's trying to be good and stuff. She tells him about a fail safe button for the curse... as if it never happened. They'll activate this self destruct thing and then run speedy quick and use the magic beans.

Henry asks what will happen to Storybooke and she says it will disappear and everyone left behind will die.

Oops. She should have saved that for AFTER they transported to fairy tale land.

Of course Henry's not going for this at all. Regina gets all desperate and starts spouting the same pathetic reasoning that if she's Henry's only choice, he'll love her most.

Henry points out that if she kills everyone she won't be a hero, she'll be a villain. And he'd never be a part of anything so horrible.

Why would she even think he would help her?

Regina waves her hand and Henry's memory is altered. She will have Henry reverse the curse without knowing the truth.

Smart.

The Evil Queen struts through a village marketplace in her disguise. But she's shocked to hear people hate the Evil Queen and love Snow White. She talks about treason and causes a scene. Soon two of the Queen's guards come along. When she insists they leave her alone because she's the Queen, they arrest her and drag her away roughly.

Hook visits Regina in her black and white Mayor's office. He asks for protection from Rumpelstiltskin, then tells her Greg and Tamara asked him to form a fake alliance with her. Instead, he's super anxious to get back with the mother/daughter tag team from hell.

Regina drops the bomb that Cora has died. Hook looks shocked and tells her that the only thing Cora ever wanted was for Regina to have her revenge. Regina then shows Hook her own little magic bean plant and lets him in on her plan of total destruction.

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Tamara picks up lunch at Granny's pub/diner/laundromat and bumps into Emma. A list of fairy tale characters and their Storybrooke names is neatly typed on a sheet of paper and conveniently falls out of her purse.

Here's a tip, if you have a master plan to fool the whole town, don't carry around evidence linking you to suspicious activity, especially evidence neatly typed in New York Times Font size 12.

There's an awkward 'past girlfriend/fiance' moment but Tamara tells Emma that she can trust her with all the fairy tale land stuff.

Emma isn't fooled and explains her theory to Mary Margaret that maybe the new chick is the 'her' August was trying to warn them about right before he died and was turned into a little puppet boy.

Phew. That was a long one. Let's take a drink break. *sip*

Mary Margaret is worried Emma is still holding a torch for Neil, and disregards the list of names. But Henry is super excited because this means operation Cobra is back on.

Regina takes Hook into the library and down the secret elevator.


I guess since Belle is now Lacey, she's at the pool hall instead.
 

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The Guards take the Evil Queen up to the gallows, ready to behead her.

For impersonating the Queen? Really? Harsh much?

Just as the blade is raised, an arrow is fired into the hand of one of the guards. He drops the sword and a cloaked figure swoops into the scene beating both the guards and rescuing the Evil Queen. The crowd rejoices and the hero pulls back her hood—it's Snow White.

Regina and Hook enter the bottom lair. She notices his leather bracelet. He tells her Cora gave it to him so he could climb the beanstalk. Regina is jealous and asks him for it. She slips it on her own wrist and smiles with satisfaction.

Gee! I wonder if that completely random moment is going to be important later on?

She takes him further into the cave where the trigger is guarded.

Remember the Queen from Sleeping Beauty who turned herself into a dragon? The one Prince Charming and Emma both had to fight?

Hook soon realizes that he's the bait. Except this time the Dragon Queen is some king of zombie skeleton thing. There's a lot of running and hiding behind rocks. Meanwhile up-top, Regina finds the glass casket and retrieves the trigger (a big black diamond).

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The Evil Queen wakes up to find Snow White wiping her brow. She tells Snow White her name is Wilma and that her husband Fred, works in the quarry.

As she cleans the Evil Queen's leg wound, Snow White tells the story of how a woman saved her on a run-away horse once and that woman taught her there can be a genuine love and connection between two strangers. The Evil Queen is touched and she asks what happened to that woman.

Snow White looks melancholy and says, “She's gone, but I hope someday she comes back.”

Emma and Henry wait in her yellow bug, stalking Tamara. Henry says how awesome it would be to go to fairy tale land. Emma asks if he would want that. Before you can say, 'hocus pocus' Henry guesses the giant brought back a bean and they're growing them in Storybrooke.

He's also excited because if they find out that Tamara is evil or at least up to no good, then Neil and Emma can have their own castle.

Emma successfully breaks into Tamara's room, letting Henry be her look-out. She notices one of the floor boards is loose. Before she can rip up the floor, Neil arrives and stops the search. When Emma tells him her theory and the crazy list, he tells Emma he made Tamara that list to keep all the cray-cray in one organized place.

Emma is still unconvinced and asks him to lift the suspicious floor board. They find nothing.

The Evil Queen is well enough to move along. Snow White gives her a sword and they set off deeper into the forest. The Evil Queen asks Snow White, if she had the chance, would she kill the Queen?

Snow White says no, she wants to be guided by love. She's convinced the Evil Queen has some good inside of her. The Evil Queen has a Grinch moment and her heart grows three times it's size.

She's ready to ask Snow White for forgiveness and to become a family again!!! What could possible ruin this moment?

Then they stumble upon the mass murder from the beginning of this episode. Snow White sees her wanted poster and quickly surmises the villagers lost their lives because they were protecting her. She vows to never forgive the Queen—obviously she has no good in her.

Snow White needs to stick to one idea.

The Evil Queen still wants to talk about how awesome she used to be when she rescued little Snow White on the horse. But she slips up and Snow White realizes the young peasant girl is the Evil Queen disguised by dark magic.

Snow White draws her bow. The Evil Queen has no power...and apparently has no skill with a sword. She runs off into the forest.

Regina comes up from the cave and sees Hook waiting for her all cool and lovely. She's been duped. He brings out Tamara and Greg, who apparently DO have ways for killing magical creatures, including skeleton things that live under libraries.

Regina takes a step back and proceeds to produce a fireball or something, but her magic is gone.

*cough* bracelet *cough*

David, Mary Margaret, and Leroy check on the magic bean field and see that all of the plants have been destroyed.

Mary Margaret actually says, “Who would do this?”

Seriously? She has no idea?

The Evil Queen arrives at Rumpelstiltskin's castle very angry. She finally understands the people will never love her, but that's just fine because instead of revenge she also wants to punish everyone.

Regina realizes her mother's cuff is to blame. Greg tells her inside the bracelet is the toughest metals known to man, working like little machines to stop any of her magic from working.

Okaaaay.

He also tells Regina he's not only looking for his father, but has a greater mission. A mission so great it's super secret....as in the writer's haven't figured it out yet.

 

Stuff I Like About This Episode.

#1. Lots of stuff happened.

#2. Hook was in a lot of scenes.

#3. We were spared a make out scene with Mr. Gold and Lacey.

Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode

#1. Snow White's eyebrows.

#2. Henry accepts things waaay too easily.

#3. David's stupid plan.

Top 5 Plot Holes on "Once Upon A Time"

Is it any wonder that the creators of LOST have us once again scratching our heads? But the 'write as we go' method seems to be working out, partly because the first season was so good that we're already invested in the characters...and some of us are still hoping a certain Sheriff will return permanently *ahem.*

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However, there are some plot holes that are too glaringly ridiculous to ignore.

#1. If Regina is the daughter of Cora and a Prince, she would already be royalty. So why did Cora plan and execute an elaborate plan (ie: kill another Queen, spook little Snow White's horse etc...) when Regina was already set to inherit a kingdom?

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#2. Where did the "Once Upon A Time" story book come from? Mary Margaret gave the book to Henry, but where did she find it?

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#3. How did Hook find Neil's apartment so easily? He just happened to defy the laws of physics and sail to New York from Maine in a day? And then he just happened to find Mr. Gold in a city of over eight million people?

What does he have to say for himself?

#4. What is up with Tamara and her super powerful tazer? How can she electrocute and kill a man made of wood? Shouldn't she have set August on fire instead?

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#5. So August abandoned baby Emma, then traveled the world for the next twenty-eight years until he ended up in Hong Kong? Did he forget all about the curse until he started to turn to wood?


BONUS! If no one could enter or leave Storybrooke, how did Henry ever manage to get adopted by Regina?


What plot holes drive you crazy about Once Upon A Time?

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 14, “Manhattan”

 

Or better title, “Who's Yo Daddy?”

Rumpelstiltskin enters his cottage and gives Mela the good news that he's been called up to fight in the ogre wars. She's afraid because well, duh, it's ogres and everything, but he convinces her his heroism will bring great honor to their little abode.

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Emma, Mr. Gold and Henry arrive at Bellfire's apartment in NYC.

The Mayor and Cora have a mother/daughter chat in the bedroom. Hook shows up and the Mayor explains to him (and us) that they can't leave Storybrooke to run down Mr. Gold, but Cora tells them this is the perfect time to use the one thing that he's defenceless against—the dagger.

Emma sees a guy take off out the fire escape. She yells to Mr. Gold and Henry that this MUST be Baelfire.

Of course it is.

Emma switches into Charlie's Angels gear and manages to tackle him after three blocks.

Yes, I totally called it! It's Emma's ugly faced boyfriend.

'Neil' tells Emma that he has never forgiven Mr. Gold for abandoning him.

Emma freaks out since Henry is now officially Rumpelstiltskin's grandson. He denies knowing who she really was when they met, but only found out her true identity after August showed up and opened his wooden box of doom, and showed him one neatly typed line, “I know you are Baelfire.”

I can't believe I've been writing it wrong all this time.

She says, “You gave me up because of Pinochhio”

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.

Emma decides to keep Henry's existence a secret. Then for symbolic reasons, she rips off the necklace that was part of the key chain Neil gave her, and tells him it was a reminder to never trust anyone.

But, alas she has to keep her promise to Mr. Gold and deliver Baelfire.

Rumpelstiltskin is asked to guard a prisoner that can help turn the tides of the ogre war.

I hope he doesn't mess this up.

He lifts the flap and sees a child with their eyes sewn shut.

My kids screamed at this scene.
 

 

She begs Rumpelstiltskin for water. He is resistant, but when the little girl tells him Mela is already pregnant, he is intrigued. He gives her water and she tells him his actions on the battlefield will leave his son fatherless.

He gets angry since the whole point of going to war is to prove he isn't a coward, but he didn't sign up to die before his son is even born.

Emma calls Mary Margaret for advice about Baelfire. She tries to convince Emma to tell Henry the truth, but when Emma joins Henry and Mr. Gold, she tells them Baelfire got away.

The Mayor decides to pay Belle a visit in hopes of finding the dagger with his name. She puts Belle to sleep magically and then makes all the contents of her purse whirl through the air.

For the record, Nancy Drew could have done the same thing without magic.

The Mayor finds a slip of paper with a numerical code. With help from Cora and Hook, she searches the library and finds a hand drawn map...a treasure map.
 

Despite Emma's objections, Mr. Gold breaks into Baelfire's apartment.

Rumpelstiltskin learns about the next days battle and the little girl's prophecy is coming true. Convinced he's gong to die the next day and leave his son fatherless, he purposely breaks his foot in order to be deemed unfit to fight.

In Baelfire's apartment Mr. Gold can tell Emma is lying to him. He gets all up in her face for breaking their deal when Baelfire bursts into the room.

Rumpelstiltskin limps home to find Mela holding baby Baelfire. He's overjoyed but she confronts him about hurting himself on purpose, and bringing shame on their family. He asks her what he was supposed to do.

She's disgusted with him and says, “You could have fought. You could have died.”

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that.
 

 

Baelfire demands Mr. Gold leave his apartment. Mr. Gold picks up on the obvious clue when she calls him 'Neil'. After a lot of shouting, Henry comes out of hiding. Baelfire does the math and asks if Henry is his son.

Emma drops the bomb shell leaving the three fellas gobsmacked.

Greg, the guy who ran Hook over with his car, is allowed to wander the hospital and take videos with his phone. While the Mayor was unnecessarily making Belle's purse hover in the air, he managed to film it and e-mail it to his wife.

 

Cora and the Mayor take give each other high fives after Hook decodes the treasure map. Once they have the dagger, they will control the Dark One, and then he can kill Emma, Mary Margaret, and anyone else they don't like. Henry will go back to live with the Mayor, la dee da, and all will be as it should.

Yup. That's iron clad.

Mr. Gold tells Baelfire that there is no greater pain than regret. He propositions Baelfire to return to Storybrooke where, surprise... there's magic! Then they can start over and forget all that Dark One nonsense.

But Baelfire isn't buying it and he reminds Mr. Gold how he let him get sucked into the vortex instead of giving up magic.

Rumpelstiltskin wanders the forest as the Dark One. He meets up with the seer, who is now a young woman. He blames her for being light on the details about her first prediction. She tells him he will find his son again, but the path won't be an easy one and it will take many years.

He gets tired of her riddles and decides to take away her power of sight so he can 'see' for himself.

Baelfire and Henry bond on the fire escape as Mr. Gold watches, reliving all his mistakes.

Before she dies, the seer tells Rumpelstiltskin that a boy will lead him to his son, but the boy will be his undoing. After hearing that Rumpelstiltskin vows to kill this 'boy'.

Well, that's unlikely now, isn't it.


Stuff I Liked About This Episode

Emma's eye make-up.

Cora's 'modern' look. Seriously, check out the lovely wavy hair.

FINALLY seeing what August was hiding inside the box.

Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode

If Mr. Gold can magically fix Dr. Frankenstein's severed arm, why can't he fix his limp?

How I misspelled Baelfire's name in every previous recap.

How the Sheriff is still missing.

There were no unicorns.

Once Upon A Time, Season 2, Episode 13, “Tiny”

Or better title. “Who Spilled The Beans?”

Emma and Mr. Gold get ready to leave Storybrooke, oh yeah, and Henry is going with them. David lets Mr. Gold know that if anything happens to his family he will be devastated.

Wow. Big threat, David. Dude, this is The Dark one your talking to.

They cross town limits and Mr. Gold's scarf talisman thingy works.

Mary Margaret and David don't waste time, they get their arrows and guns all ready to hit the town looking for 'Cora The Dangerous'. The Mayor shows up and they give her the good news that Dr. Hopper is alive, so that nasty murder charge has been dropped. And by the way, Henry has left with Emma and her arch nemesis looking for Bellfire.



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Mary Margaret and David make Hook take them to his ship. Grumpy (why is he always on the fringe with these guys) is there too. Hook convinces them Cora is more diabolical than they suspect and he shows them another prisoner that happens to be on the ship.

It's the giant from episode. Except he's regular sized.

Anton, the giant, sits at a long table with his brothers celebrating the magic bean harvest that's about to happen. Apparently the oldest brother, the head giant, doesn't like humans and he keeps his younger brothers hidden above the clouds.

Anton doesn't understand his brother's prejudice and tries to convince the brothers that humans must be good if they have stuff like golden harps. The brothers tease Anton by calling him by his nickname, Tiny. He leaves the table all moody. Determined to show his brother's they're wrong about humans, he leaves his castle in the sky and climbs down the beanstalk.

Hook tells Mary Margaret he has no idea who the prisoner is and suggests she wake him up and see what he knows about Cora's plan. Mary Margaret gently wakes Anton. He looks around bleary eyed, but when he sees David, he flips out, screaming about revenge. Luckily Mary Margaret brought her bow and arrow and stops Anton from smashing David's head in. Instead he runs away, yelling stuff about horrible humans.

Geez, what did Prince Charming ever do to Anton?

Ruby visits Belle in the hospital and tries to jog her memory. Belle straight out asks her about Mr. Gold's ability to magical heal gunshot wounds with balls of fire. Ruby lies about the magic and this only infuriates Belle. Quickly a nurse with the most bizarre hairdo I've seen, comes in and gives Belle a shot. In the back ground, Greg, the outsider who ran over Hook with his car, watches from the shadows as ominous music plays.

Okay, there's only two patients in the hospital, you'd think they would know enough not to put the amnesiac fairy tale character with the suspicious outsider!

David tries to figure out why Anton hates him. We flashback to the castle where the first Prince Charming (James) is making out with someone who isn't Snow White!

Yikes! For a family show, ABC is showing a lot of skin and lingerie. What is this? The Super Bowl halftime show?

King Horrid enters the bedroom and I can't help but wonder who the heck thought this was a good scene. He tells the lovers there's a giant roaming the village. James and his chick are bad ass, and they go out, ready to take down a giant and get some magic beans.

They discover Anton easily since he's a giant and everything.

Prince James' lady friend has an awful lot of cleavage for a giant hunt.

Anyway, they convince Anton to try an enchanted piece of mushroom that will help make him smaller, and therefore be able to enjoy the dancing and drinking in the local pubs. She tells him her name is Jacqueline, but everyone calls her Jack.

As in Jack and the Beanstalk.

Mr. Gold finds airport security very uncivilized. He's forced to take off the shall. He's dazed for a few moments but once he slips it back on he's good to go.

The Mayor finds Hook and she learns Anton has escaped from the ship and has a death wish for David. The Mayor smiles since this is just the distraction Cora needs for her secret diabolical plan.

 

Prince James and Jack take Anton into the pub and they bond over pint of grog.

He loves humans!

Jack confesses to Anton that Prince James is in debt. If they don't pay off the neighboring kingdom (like say in magic beans or gold treasure) then the kingdom, including the pub, will be burned to the ground.

Anton promises Jack he can help them out—no problem.

The Mayor finds Anton sitting on a bench. She cuts to the chase pretty fast.

“I hear you're in town because you want to kill someone,” she says.

Nice ice breaker.

The Mayor and Anton make an alliance. She gives him a piece of mushroom from the Land of Hearts, and he grows back up to his giant self.

Mr. Gold gets agitated having to wait at the airport. He goes into the bathroom and teaches the paper towel dispense a lesson. He tries to heal his bleeding knuckles but his magic doesn't work.

I wonder if this inability to use magic will become important to the plot later on?

Anton visits the treasure room and starts to make a grab bag for his new pals. His oldest brother confronts him, and tries to convince him that humans are bad.

All the fairy tale characters run amok as Anton booms around Main Street. David tries to explain about Prince James and their switcheroo at birth. But Anton takes after them anyway.

Prince James and Jack storm the giant's castle demanding all the beans.

Huh? How can they fight giants?

David surrenders to Anton before Storybrooke is smashed to bits. Anton slams his body into the ground, hoping to crush David, but he only manages to get stuck in a huge crater. David and Mary Margaret, and Grumpy (why is he there?) look down and see that the magic mushroom has worn off and now Anton's a regular guy clinging to a broken sewer pipe.

Only one thing can save this mess. Yes, that's right, the Sheriff.

Call in Schmexy!!

 

The giants fall quickly because the Jack and Jason are using poisoned swords. The oldest brother tells Anton that if the humans get the magic beans, they will take their violence to every world. Anton must destroy the beans.

David rescues Anton from the crater and Grumpy rejoices from the front of the crowd.

Jack stabs the oldest brother with her poisoned sword as James fills a bag with gold loot. The oldest brother pulls out the sword and stabs Jack. They both lie dying. James barely gives her a shrug as he scoots out with his treasure.

Anton is devastated and kneels by his brother's side. And what do you know, he gives Anton a shoot of the stalk that is capable of growing more magic beans.

Everyone takes Anton to Granny's pub/diner/laundromat, and they discuss setting him up in an apartment. Mary Margaret tells him there's no portal back to fairy tale land, and that Storybrooke is his home now. Anton looks sheepishly at David and asks if there's good farmland nearby.

Who cares? I want to know if Mr. Gold has gotten kicked off the air plane yet.

David and Mary Margaret take Anton to a field. He pauses, wondering if this is the reason Cora kidnapped him. She must want him to plant a stalk to create a port hole.

David and Mary Margaret think this is probably true, but they decide they're tough enough to handle Cora. Besides Grumpy (shockingly) shows up with the other dwarfs, all carrying their axes. They give Anton his own axe and the name “Tiny” emblazons on the handle.

Grumpy leaves us with these wise words. “The axe doesn't lie.”

Belle is visited by Greg, aka, that guy who hit Hook with his car. He confides to her that she isn't crazy because he saw the old guy with the magical ball of fire, too.

David and Mary Margaret talk about how the bean stalk will change everything. He's super excited to go back to fairy tale land, but she tells him home is where Emma decides to go.

Hmm...I sense and impasse.

Mr. Gold is a nervous flier. He grips the seat rest with a white knuckles as the flight attendant announces they'll be taking off for New York City.

Hey, do you know who lives in New York City? Well, millions of people, yes, but also Emma's ugly faced boyfriend.

Ew! If he's the grown up version of Bellfire than that means Henry is his grandson.

I don't think The Mayor will be happy about that.


 

Stuff I Liked About This Episode

The dude from ER played the oldest giant. It's nice to see him working.

The hairdo on the Nurse who gave Belle her sedative shot. She could pass for O'Brien from Downton Abbey.

Hook. He's no Schmexy but he's a nice replacement.

Stuff I Didn't Like About This Episode

Grumpy keeps showing up for no reason.

The stripper outfits the costume department kept putting on Jack.

The fact none of the giants didn't just step on James and Jack.

Once again, the Sheriff failed to ride into town on a unicorn. *Sigh*