Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 13 "Witch Hunt"

 

Or better title, “Family Feud"

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The Wicked Witch of the West (I'm going to get carpal tunnel, lets just call her 3W) goes through the Evil Queen's (EQ) jewelry and dresses enjoying her new found digs.

EQ and Snow White come up with a plan to break the protective spell and then ambush the castle. A flying monkeys tries to scare them, but EQ does some hocus pocus and turns it into a cute stuffed bunny. She gives it to Robin Hood's son, thereby earning a look of admiration and surprise from him.

Ah, the romantic subplot is taking shape.

Back in Storybrooke, which is also present time, David and Mary Margaret tell Emma right after she and Henry left town limits, Regina cast the curse and then everything went black. But instead of the enchanted forest they woke up in their beds back in Storybrooke. Everything was the same—except that Mary Margaret is very pregnant.

Hook saunters around the living room. He says they all went back to the enchanted forest at first and they all decided to go to the Queen's castle. Instead, he took off and lived happily by himself on the Jolly Roger. Then one day a bird arrived with a message to return to New York to save Emma. The vial of memory potion was wrapped inside the note. It was signed by Snow White.

This seems pretty normal to everyone and all heads nod in union.

Grumpy and another dwarf break up the family reunion to announce that another member of Storybrooke has gone missing. David tells Emma that for the last few days people have started to go missing. Among the missing is Neal.

Hook tries hard not to fist pump the air. Emma decides the only way to solve this mess is to retrieve everyone's memories to find out who cast the new curse.
 

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Charming and the rest of the gang are troubled by the existence of murderous winged monkeys. Belle tells everyone they exist in a land called OZ. Snow White doesn't believe her because that's just too crazy. I mean come on...flying monkeys?

EQ lets the fairy tale folk know that OZ is very real and if a flying monkey is in the enchanted forest, then 3W is the one who has taken up residence in her castle. She refuses help and plans to take down the protective spell on her own thereby allowing Charming and Snow will storm the castle...or something like that.

Henry is enjoying being the new kid in Storybrooke and everyone pretends not to know him. Mary Margaret comes up with the story that she and Emma were cell mates.
 

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Funny moment. I enjoyed that.

Regina sees Henry and she drops her coffee cup. Emma takes her aside quickly and explains that Henry has no memory of Storybrooke. They're both back because of a new curse and missing year's worth of plot...yada yada yada.

While Regina whines about not being able to give Henry welcome back hugs. Emma is determined to find out who cast the spell and she's going to use her super power to scan every person in Storybrooke.

Seriously? Her lie detecting super power?

Robin Hood and his merry men hunt in the woods of Storybrooke. While chasing a wild turkey, Little John comes precariously close to the town limits. Instead, he gets plucked off the trail by a flying monkey.

No! Oh wait. I have no connection to this character and therefore do not care what happens to him.

Emma deducts the flying monkeys are kidnapping people if they try to attempt to leave Storybrooke.

In a town hall meeting, Regina tries to convince everyone that she had nothing to do with the new curse, but no one is buying it. Sick of being good and not getting any credit, she decides to return to her evil ways.

One particular woman, who looks a lot like 3W without make up, smiles to herself.

Robin Hood finds EQ and thanks her for saving them from the flying monkey. There is some flirting then she tells him to back off because she has to sneak into her mother's castle for some potion ingredients to help her break 3W's protection spell. He said he can help because he breaks into stuff for a living.

Emma arrives at Regina's office. The blow up in town hall was a ruse and they're hoping to flush out the real culprit.

EQ and Robin Hood navigate a booby trap course to sneak into the dungeon of Cora's castle via the family crypt. She's concerned to find the door already open, which is impossible because it was a blood spell. He tells her about his late wife and EQ mentions she's lost a son... in a way.

Mary Margaret tries to get Henry off his Nintendo DS and invites him to take him to the library. He agrees and runs for his coat.

Why not? Because an ex-con friend of my mom's is my friend too.

Seeing that Mary Margaret is hugely preggers, the woman from the town hall starts talking about babies. She recognizes her as Snow White and explains she missed the first curse so this is her first trip to Storybrooke.

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The woman is 3W. She says her name is Zalena. Back in fairy tale land she was a midwife. Mary Margaret is so excited she hires her on the spot. Zalena gives her a creepy smile and says she'd be honoured to help with Snow White's baby.

Does anyone else think the baby is going to be a flying monkey?

David and the others find Little John unconscious in the woods.

EQ takes Robin Hood into Cora's bedroom. She rummages through drawers and starts to mix a sleeping potion. Robin Hood tries to convince her she has something to live for and that the pain of missing her son will ease with time.

She tells him the curse can only be broken by true love's kiss, and Henry is her true love. As soon as the protection shield is down, she'll let Snow White and Charming storm the castle and then she'll take her sleeping potion.

That sounds air tight to me. Well, until his shirt sleeve rips or something exposing his tattoo.

Regina's attempts at mimicking Hook's memory potion fail miserably. Emma comes up with another idea to trick the town's people. Only the guilty person would be worried that Regina was making a memory potion. They can set a trap and get that phony just like Scooby-doo.

Grumpy is the town blabber mouth. He goes to the hottest place in town, Granny's pub/diner/laundromat, to spill the fake beans. After his speech, Zalena sneaks away.

David and Robin Hood take Little John to the hospital. Dr. Whale (Frankenstein) starts to assess him but is quickly thrown back when Little John sprouts wings.

No. Not butterfly wings. Weird bat wings. He turns into a flying monkey and well...he flies away.

Emma and Regina wait in her yellow bug for the mysterious enemy to fall into their trap. Regina asks Emma what Henry's life is like in New York. Emma says he has lots of friends and is very happy, but Emma decided to return with Hook because the old Henry would have told her that heroes always come back.

True dat.

When they see someone in the window, they race to the office. Regina assures Emma that she put a blood lock spell on the door (ew) thereby trapping the culprit inside. They find the darkened office in shambles. A figure hides in the corner, but before Emma can get a good look, a plume of green smoke fills the air and they disappear.

Regina is shaking in her heels. Who could be powerful enough to break one of her spells?

EQ works her magic on the castle, confident in her black, bedazzled bustier as she takes down the protective spell. When it disappears, Grumpy gives the word and the fairy tale army surge toward the castle.

EQ grabs her sleeping potion and says a little prayer that one day Henry will wake her up. From the shadows 3W sweeps into view. She steals the sleeping potion from Regina and begins to monologue, like all villains do.

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EQ says she could care less about a witch from OZ.

3W says her name is Zalena and she doesn't want the castle. EQ asks how she managed to break the blood lock spell on her mother's crypt.

She taunts EQ about Cora then leans in and calls her sister. She explains that since Cora knew a green baby would never snag a prince for a husband, she abandoned her.

Growing up in OZ without a mother was no picnic apparantly. EQ says Cora was a terrible mother so she probably was better off. Then 3W drops the bombshell that she knew Rumpelstiltskin. She hates him as well because he abandoned her too.

Zalena has some issues and her main plan of revenge is to make her sister suffer.

Perhaps this involves being spray painted green?

But EQ isn't afraid, she's thrilled to have an enemy again.

Needing a little pick me up since their trap bombed, Emma takes Regina to meet Henry. They shake hands and smile. She hides her breaking heart well.

David and Hook arrive with news that the missing people are probably being turned into flying monkeys. They talk about green smoke and it's obvious 3W is the one who has cast the new spell. Emma asks, “Why is she in Storybrooke?”

Zalena takes a food tray out to her secret backyard prison. Rumpelstiltskin is being held in a cage. He refuses the food and tells her she shouldn't have brought him back. She only smiles and says, “Eat up, we've got work to do.”

And this is where I stomp my foot. Of all the fairy tale characters who have died she brought back Rumpelstiltskin?!!! Hey, if you're going to bring back someone from the dead, you make sure it's the hot Sheriff.

I will never give up hoping!

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Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.

 

 

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 12, "A New York City Serenade"

Or better title “Time Warp Nausea”

ABC gives us a quick recap of last episode with Hook showing up at Emma's apartment one year after she and Henry left Storybrooke with completely new memories.

When he tries to explain that her family is in danger she tries to slam the door in his face thinking he's crazy.

Maybe it's the guyliner.

Hoping she'll remember with a kiss, he lays one on her only to receive a knee in the front part of his leather pants.

Operation 'Get Emma', attempt #1 ... failure

Now let's get in the time machine because we're going to find out what happened to everyone else when Emma left Storybrook exactly one year ago.

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Prince Philip meets up with a pregnant Aurora for a picnic, but a plume of purple smoke soon overtakes them. They shudder with fear. When the smoke clears Snow White and the gang are all present.

Snow White tells a shocked Aurora, “We're back.”

It's present day again. I know this because ABC put PRESENT DAY on the screen.

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Fresh from another successful bounty hunter job, Emma meets her boyfriend for dinner—some English dude who gets his hair done by the stylist of One Direction. When he gets up from the table, Hook swoops in.

Operation, 'Get Emma', attempt #2

He says he knows she's an orphan. Then he slips a piece of paper with an address that will tell her who her real parents are. She says he's crazy, but he replies, “Use your super power and you'll know that I'm telling the truth.”

Um...what? Wait, you mean the super power of having convenient magic show up when it's most needed?

No. He means her ability to tell if people are lying or not.

Oh. Okay. *Rolls eyes*

Emma is intrigued, apparently Regina forgot to imagine fake parents for her so the orphan bit with a burning desire to find her birth parents is real. She takes the slip of paper and Hook tells her to meet him at Central Park the follow day.

Snow White congratulates Aurora on the upcoming birth of her baby. Without a place to stay, Snow White says she and Charming are taking Regina's castle back—with a begrudging Regina along for the ride because she's trying to be nice now and everything.

After they leave it's obvious Aurora and Prince Philip are scared for their unborn child and they debate whether or not to tell 'this season's dangerous villain' *cough* Wicked Witch of the West *cough* that Regina has returned.

PRESENT DAY

Thanks ABC, I'd have no clue without that huge prompt across the screen.

Back at the restaurant Emma's boyfriend has returned with a fancy dessert but not his English accent. He proposes on one knee and things get awkward when he starts bringing up his furniture business as a way to sway her vote.

She says she needs time to think. He's super cool with that.

Henry (who has been growing quickly since last season) finally looks normal as a fourteen year old instead of a thirteen year old being made to look like a ten year old.

Ouch! Math headache.

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They play video games while Henry tells her that she should give the boyfriend a chance and not all dudes are like his father. They rehash how Neal set up Emma to spend time in jail for his crime and that he doesn't even know Henry exists. She asks how he got so wise.

Grumpy and the dwarfs celebrate that they're back in the enchanted forest. Jiminy Cricket arrives and says more fairy tale characters are popping up all over the place. Charming asks Grumpy to spread the word that everyone should make haste to the Queen's castle for shelter.

I bet the actor who plays Jiminy Cricket is a bit upset about this new development.

Hook saddles up a horse and declares the Jolly Roger is his home, not the enchanted castle. He tried being a hero and that didn't get him any hot lovin' from Emma.

Snow White accuses him of going back to being a pirate now that Emma is gone. He says he was always a pirate.

WRONG!

What about the episode when he was in the navy with his brother?

After Hook gallops away, Neal comes up with the idea of returning to his father's castle because maybe Rumpelstiltskin is somehow alive OR maybe he can find something that will take him back to Emma.

Snow White reiterates the rules of Regina's curse. “It's a reset,” she says sadly. “With no more portals. The only way to cross over is with another curse. And that will NEVER happen. It's impossible.”

Rules?

Rules don't matter on this show.

Henry asks Emma if she's still... 

Oh, sorry. PRESENT DAY

Henry asks Emma if is she's still worrying about the proposal.

Nope. She's thinking about going to the secret address given to her by the sexy leather clad dude. Emma goes to the address and she discovers it's Neal's old apartment.

Why is his stuff still there? This is New York City. The police should have cleared it out when he stopped paying rent a year ago.

Emma is shocked to find a camera with Henry's name on the strap.

Sorry I have to interrupt. Emma is wearing plaid pants in this scene. There is no place on the planet that these would be okay. Just sayin'...

Unable to ignore this bizarre coincidence, she goes to Central Park to meet Hook. She's convinced he's working with Neal to try and steal Henry from her. Instead, he talks to her about curses, castles, and stuff like that. To further convince her he's on the straight up, he offers her a vial of magic liquid that will help her remember. “Take a leap of faith,” he tells her.

She handcuffs him to the fountain and whistles for the police to arrest him.

Belle and Neal trade theories that Rumpelstiltskin staged his own death. They're determined to find his dagger.

Snow White gets nostalgic as they approach her childhood home. Then Grumpy alerts her that Regina is missing. Snow White finds her burying her enchanted heart. “It hurts to miss Henry,” she explains.

Snow White basically says suck it up, I'm a mother who lost her kid too. Don't be a dummy, keep your heart and you'll find happiness.

Hey, remember the episode when Robin Hood's son helped Neal get to Neverland? He's Regina's true love!

Regina is swayed by Snow White's logic and she does her own heart transplant. But before they can share a cup of flavoured tea to celebrate this milestone in their relationship, something swoops out of the sky. It gets close enough to scratch Regina.

The flying beast is scared off by Robin Hood.

My nerves. I'm brilliant!

There's instant dislike on Regina's part. I can see where this is going. She'll hate him until she sees his tattoo and realizes he's her true love.

Robin lets them know the flying beast is something he's never seen before.

*Time Machine back to the future*

Emma talks with Henry about how she's ready to move forward in her life and maybe, just maybe she'll think about marrying the fake English accent dude. He tells her to listen to her instinct and stop worrying. Everything seems cool until she looks at the pictures she had developed from Henry's camera.

Hook is busted from jail by Emma. She demands to know how those pictures of her and Henry in a place called Storybrooke can exist.

Did anyone ever see Henry with a camera in any previous episode? No? Me neither.

See? Rules don't matter in this show.

Hook tells her to ignore logic and instead, listen to her instinct. He hands over the vial of memory liquid. And since Emma is all about trusting your instinct, she forgets about the boyfriend who just proposed and takes a sip from the vial offered by the crazy guy she just busted from jail.

Emma downs the whole vial and her brow instantly furrows. “Hook,” she says, her voice heavy with regret.

Robin Hood reunites with Neal and Belle on the forest path as they journey with the others to the Queens' castle. When they arrive Regina discovers the castle is surrounded by a protective spell. Until she can discover who has taken over the castle they have to camp out.

Hook and Emma share a drink at her apartment reminiscing. He tells her that he was hanging out on the Jolly Roger when he received news that a new curse had been placed on the enchanted forest. He was able to cross over. He needs her to return with him to Storybrooke to save her family.

She's bummed because her life was fantastic and now she has all those crappy memories again. The boyfriend shows up and he's brought his accent with him. She tries to explain that 'a ghost from her past' showed up and she has to go back home to resolved some issues.

He begs her to chose a future with him instead. When she turns him down, he morphs into a flying monkey. She grabs a pipe and starts swinging. She sends him crashing to the street, far below.

The next morning she makes breakfast for Henry and says, “Do you believe in magic?” He, of course, has no memory of Storybrooke. She tells him she has a new case and that he's going with her ... you know... for an adventure.

Hook arrives at the door. She tells him to help with her luggage. She says, “Henry, lend him a hand.”

Hand. Good one. Get it?

She puts on her red leather jacket and takes the yellow punch buggy to Storybrooke.

Hook tells her he doesn't know what effect the curse will have on everyone's memories this time. With Henry asleep in the backseat, Emma goes to Mary Margaret's apartment. David opens the door. He remembers Emma, but the last year had been erased. Mary Margaret comes down the stairs and she's very preggers. So they know that it's been at least nine months since the curse was cast. But they don't even know who's responsible.

Back at the Queen's castle, a flying monkey arrives with a drop of blood. A witch in a black hat with green skin takes the drop of blood and adds it to a vial, talking about how her revenge is now complete.

Oh, how original! Another witch with another revenge.

“The Queen may be evil,” she smiles, “but I'm wicked, and wicked always wins.”

So does fourteen on black, just in case you're at the roulette table this weekend.

Need more Storybrooke? You'll find my recaps for ALL of the Once Upon A Time episodes (even from the very first season) on my Pinterest page here.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of this post. As a reward, enjoy this video of The Police singing Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.