You're Gonna' Need A Sharper Hook

Most agents spend less than a few minutes reading a query. First impressions count, so you have to get their interest...and fast. That's why a good, concise query is essential.

But how do you make yours stand out from the hundreds the agent will read that week?

Hook 'em Danno!
photo credit, behance.net

Easy. The first line should be your hook.

Think of the tag line from your favorite movie. It's the catchy slogan that will resonate with people and make them curious about the show. Your hook should do the same, ie: make the agent want to keep reading.

A good hook tells who the main character is (this can include age or personality description), grounds the genre, and ends with an unexpected twist.


I love to help with queries, but my passion is the hook. Post your 'hook' in my comments if you'd like feedback.

To get the ball rolling, here are two samples from my own writing.

At Willem's department store, none of the night security guards survive for long, but sixteen year old Daniel Gale doesn't scare that easily.

Hopeful heir, Edward Nichols travels to his family's English estate for the reading of his late Uncle's will only to find Craigmoore Manor has been turned into the scene of a murder investigation.

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Successful Hook Ups

Me making supper, not exactly as shown.
credit, diaryofacountrywife.wordpress.com

I'm a cover girl. No, not the kind on the magazine (obviously). I'm talking book cover. I confess, it's the image that grabs my attention and makes me pick it off the shelf—isn't that why they spend money and time working with the artist?

However, it's the first paragraph or even the first line that determines if I'll tuck it under my arm or slip it back into place.

Ah, the first line, the tagline if you will, that sets the story in motion.

Sometimes you have no choice but to keep reading, and turning the pages. Then, before you know it, you've burned supper.

These are from some of my favorite books. Do they look familiar to you?

1. Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

3. I still remember the day my father took me to the Cemetery of Forgotten Book for the first time.

4. The night before he went to London, Richard Mayhew was not enjoying himself.

5. Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.

6. All children, except one, grow up.

7. My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name Susie.

8. I first saw Hundreds Hall when I was ten years old.

9. I became what I am today at the age of twelve on a frigid overcast day in the winter of 1975.

10. It was a pleasure to burn.

Wouldn't you want to read more? Now take a look at your own manuscript. Are you hooked by the first line?

What are your favorite first lines? How many on my list can you guess the title and author?

Next Monday I'll be blogging the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.

Cheers!