Showing posts with label Neverland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Neverland. Show all posts

Monday, 2 December 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 9, “Save Henry”

Or better title, "Babies Are Hard Work"

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The Evil Queen rejoices in the black spell's success. But Rumpelstiltskin reminds her Snow White's baby will break the curse one day. She rebuffs his comment saying she has everything she's ever wanted. Rumpelstiltskin warns there's a hole in her heart that will need to be filled.

Emma and the others try to revive Henry while Peter Pan goads over the fact he has Henry's heart—and it's awesome power. He also tells them Mr. Gold is now inside Pandora's box.

Regina confesses to Dr. Hopper that being the Mayor isn't as fun as it used to be. She feels empty and lonely. He tells her she needs someone special in her life to love.

Yes, that's the answer. A baby. What is this? 1950?

She goes to Mr. Gold hoping to get through the red tape of the adoption process. He's not surprised at all, but he questions her ability to put the child first.

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Back on Skull Island, Regina performs a preservation spell on Henry to keep him alive. Emma is upset because she doesn't know any spells and therefore feels useless. Regina cries because unlike Emma, she doesn't have parents, or two guys vying for her. All she has is Henry.

Regina vows to kill Peter Pan. That's the only way they can save Henry.

The logic of this conversation is mind blowing.

Everyone storms the Lost Boys' camp, but they're all tight lipped about Peter Pan's special hiding place. Regina is ready to force them to talk through torture. Emma presents a cooler plan and offers the boys something they really need and want...a mother.

Regina is tickled when Mr. Gold tells her there is a baby ready to be adopted. She travels to Boston to have an interview.

Um...how can she leave Storybrooke?

She sits in an office across the desk from the lawyer. After a friendly chat about the weather, a nurse brings a baby. She names him after her father, Henry.

Remember him? She ripped out his heart so she could create her grand curse of revenge. A revenge against Snow White for telling Cora about Daniel the stable boy—the same stable boy Cora murdered so Regina could be Queen. Sorry, don't go back too far, you'll get a headache.

Emma tries to convince the Lost Boys that Peter Pan doesn't care about them and offers them a home back in Storybrooke. Only the oldest Lost Boy remains faithful, the other quickly tell Emma about the Thinking Tree, Peter Pan's special hiding place.

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Regina struggles with a fussy baby Henry. She's so concerned, she takes him to Doctor Whale where they both discuss the reason Henry is crying so much. He thinks they'll need the biological parents medical records. The baby cries unattended on a stretcher while they walk away arguing.

Regina gets Sydney Glass on the phone and demands he find out Henry's birth mother because obviously that's the only thing to keep him from crying.

Lame.

David and Neal take Henry's body to the Jolly Roger where Hook “Captain Sexy Eyes” is offering all Neverland creatures big and small a trip off the island.

Emma, Mary Margaret, and Regina head toward the Thinking Tree.

Regina finally figures out how to hold a baby and Henry stops crying. Sydney faxes over the information about Emma. Regina marches over to Mr. Gold's upset she managed to adopt the curse-breaker's son.

She realizes Mr. Gold has manipulated the situation from the very start. She vows to send Henry back to Boston the next day. She can't risk having Emma show up in Storybrooke.

Mary Margaret trips or something stupid and manages to trap all three of them to the Thinking Tree. As vines tighten around their chests, Peter Pan struts out of the jungle and says the only way they'll be reunited with Henry is in death.

Regina returns Henry to the adoption agency. The lawyer tells her there's already another family lined up to take him. But when it comes time to say good-bye, Henry flashes Regina a smile and she promises to never let go of him again.

The other family leave upset. It's John and Michael Darling. They've been on orders from Peter Pan to get Henry too!

Back at the Thinking Tree, Peter Pan tells them his true identity as Rumpelstiltskin's father. Regina calls him a fake. He lets them know the tree attacks anyone who has regret.

Emma she's full of regret because of all the the times she's let Henry down, and Mary Margaret is the same. But Regina has the most regret of all.

Regina lifts an eyebrow and tells Peter Pan she's killed and tortured thousands, so she should be full of regret, but she's not because she'd do anything for her son. She breaks the vines and punches her fist through Peter Pan's chest. He collapses to the ground.

Emma and Mary Margaret stare with open mouths—helpful as always. With Henry's enchanted heart in her hand, Regina leans over and picks up Pandora's Box. “Now,” she says to the two dimwits, “let's go save Henry.”

On the Jolly Roger, Henry quickly revives after Regina does the heart transplant.

Regina talks with Dr. Hopper about her fear that Henry's birth mother will come looking for him one day. He tells her not to worry about the future and enjoy the present and the love she now feels as a mother.

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Regina visits her father's crypt and starts story time with little Henry. She mixes a spell that will help her forget all her troubles, worries, and fears. She needs to put Henry first. She takes the potion, knowing it will erase her memory of being the Evil Queen.

Won't she find it weird to be in a basement surrounded by flasks?

Regina tucks Henry in and does a healing spell—just to make sure no one can ever take his heart again.
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He says, “Thanks, Mom.”

Yeah, thanks.

She leaves and Peter Pan pops up from behind the bed with a dagger!

Top side, Neal opens Pandora's Box, releasing Mr. Gold. There's a nice father and son hugging moment. Neal lets him know he's nothing like Peter Pan because he came looking for him. Neal finally forgives Mr. Gold for abandoning him.

Emma and Mary Margaret get misty eyed because now that Mr. Gold is out of the box, he can work on David's potion and they can stay together as a family. Mr. Gold suddenly gets a chill.

Peter Pan receives a shock when he tries to rip out Henry's heart. Mr. Gold arrives and opens Pandora's Box. It starts to pull at Peter Pan and his shadow. He and Henry do a weird eye switcher-roo moment. Peter Pan screams out as he's finally sucked into the box.

Regina destroys Peter Pan's shadow, releasing the Jolly Roger. The pirate ship takes off into the sky, headed for Storybrooke.

Wendy and Tinker Bell have a heart to heart. Wendy gives her a vial of fairy dust but Tink is sad because she has no wings, and therefore has no magic.

Henry arrives on deck and Neal lets him know he'll be a super fantastic dad for as long as he wants. Tinker Bell and Regina make up. The fairy dust in the vial begins to glow.

The oldest Lost Boy, whose name I can never remember, is still upset he's being taken away from Neverland. Henry brings him food and begins to chat. It's not long before the boy figures out Peter Pan is in Henry's body.

Henry's last words are, “Let's play.”


Monday, 11 November 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 7, "Dark Hollow"

Or better title "Where's the Headless Horseman?"


tvline.com

We finally get the answer to the question that's been burning in our hearts since last season's dismal finale...

What's Belle been up to in Storybrooke?

After Mr. Gold handed her a vial filled with a protective spell, he sealed his tearful goodbye with a cringe-worthy kiss. Then he boarded the Jolly Roger knowing he'd never see Belle again. With the scratch of his grey stubble still fresh on her rosy cheeks, she explains to Grumpy, the Blue Fairy, and Dr. Hopper about how she now has a cloaking spell to keep Storybrooke safe from other magic haters—like Greg and what's her name.

It's a confusing moment; they're excited because the town didn't blow up, but now they're worried because other magic haters are coming to destroy them...again.

Just like last season.

The dwarfs lead Belle to their mine. They feverishly chip away at a huge diamond with their special axes. Once a crack has been made, Belle tips the vial, pouring the spell into the center of the diamond. A flame shoots up, high into the sky, creating a dome over the town—but not before a red convertible sneaks over the town border with two guys who look like they stepped out of Downton Abbey.

*Googles fairy tale characters from the 1920's*

Back on the beach of Neverland, Mr. Gold gives Ariel directions to Storybrooke. He tosses her an enchanted sand dollar that only Belle will know what to do with. Regina reminds Ariel that the magical bracelet will only give her legs for twenty four hours.

Why the time frame? I mean she is going on an errand to retrieve the only weapon that can defeat Peter Pan. Why make it harder for her?

Peter Pan knows Ariel has left the island, but he's not worried because he has spies in Storybrooke.

Spies with nerdy haircuts and tie clips.

Neal comes up with the plan to capture Peter Pan's shadow. If they have his shadow they can get off the island.


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The dwarfs picnic on the beach and are the first to see Ariel walk out of the water, bursting out of her bikini top and brand new legs. Looking through binoculars, our loafer loving dudes watch the scene unimpressed. They knew a mermaid was coming and they're going to make sure she never leaves.

Really? How? By boring her to death at the flower show? Oh, scary!

Belle sulks at Granny's diner/pub/laundromat, convinced Mr. Gold doesn't think she has the guts or brains to help save Henry. That must be the reason he left her behind!

Um...or maybe he knows he's going to die and he wants her to stay safe? Just a thought. *Rolls eyes* This is what happens when chicks date old guys who used to be super evil.

Before Belle can update her facebook status with a sad face emoticon, Grumpy arrives with Ariel and news that Mr. Gold is alive and needs her help to defeat Peter Pan.

Hooray! Belle has a purpose!

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She takes Ariel to Mr. Gold's shop and lends her a mini shirt and pair of heels. They talk about the mysterious sand dollar and how Belle is the only one who can unlock the message.

But how? She has no idea how to use magic.

Hold on! Belle picks up a magnifying glass and suddenly a hologram of Mr. Gold pops up from the shell. He tells Belle that if she's smart enough and loves him enough, she can find the 'magic thing' he needs to defeat Peter Pan. Belle is excited because now she's cool enough to be loved by an old guy who used to be super evil.

Peter Pan and Henry have a heart to heart, but Henry is unwilling to yield to his request to save the island with his belief in all things magical.

Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE), Neal and Emma create an awkward love triangle while they hang out in his cave. Neal lets them know his coconut shell isn't a star map. It's a Shadow Catcher. And everyone knows all the shadows hang out in the spookiest part of the island called Dark Hollow.

Better than Sleepy Hollow, I guess. Actually that would be awesome. A headless horseman would shake things up.

Belle and Ariel search Mr. Gold's shop. Ariel finds a brass button from the jacket Prince Eric was wearing the night she saved him from drowning. She gets all misty eyed and lets Belle know he's her true love and all that.

Belle nods, but stays quiet because this scavenger hunt is NOT about Ariel. It's about Belle being a hero and saving not only everyone in Storybrooke, but everyone trapped in Neverland. All she needs to find is the thing that holds the strength of her love for Rumpelstiltskin.

I'm stumped. I usually have to hold my hand over my mouth when they kiss, but I don't think that's it.

Never mind. It's the chipped teacup.

Now what? How will she figure out what to do with it? I mean, she has no idea how to use magic?

Belle places the cup back on the saucer in the cupboard. A glowing trail leads from the cup to a trap door in the floor. Belle retrieves a small box and shivers when she recognizes what it is. Before you can say 'Pandora's Box', the two mysterious nerds show up with guns.

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They tie up the girls and take Pandora's Box. Belle manages to get the guys monologuing, which is the best way to distract a villain. I turns out they're not magic hating party poopers, but spies for Peter Pan, and it's his order to destroy the box.

Plus, they have English accents. Although Belle has an Australian accent, so...yeah.

After Henry's fight with Peter Pan, he overhears mention of a prisoner that needs checking up on. He manages to escape from camp and follows one of the Lost Boys.

Why didn't he do this earlier? Also, wouldn't that be great if it was Schmexy?

David and Mary Margaret argue about him keeping his imminent death a secret, thereby creating tension in their idyllic relationship. However, since no one cares about these two, it's totally moot.

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Emma makes sure that CSE knows their kiss STILL doesn't mean anything. He tells her he will win her heart and it won't be because he's a tricky pirate but because he's way hotter than Neal.

Sorry, that part came out of my head. But we're all thinking it, right?

Emma stammers and says she's only concerned about saving her son, and maybe kissing CSE again so she can make sure she REALLY doesn't like him.

At least that would be my plan.


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Ariel and Belle manage to untie themselves. Belle reasons the only thing strong enough to destroy Pandora's Box is a dwarf's axe. She and Ariel run down Main Street toward the mine in their heels and mini skirts like an episode of Charlie's Angels.

Mary Margaret and David finally have a big fight. There are a couple quotes about love and then blah, blah, blah. She ends up in his arms saying, “You needed to believe in us.”

Gentle Joe Jeezer! Hasn't he done enough?

Neal explains all they need to do is light the candle in the coconut trap and the flame will absorb the shadow. The dudes argue about who is manly enough to use the lighter. The dementors—oh sorry, I mean the shadows arrive and quickly trap Neal and CSE. Emma cradles the shell in one hand and brandishes her sword with the other. The guys scream for her to leave, instead she uses her magic and lights the candle.

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Oh, yeah. She's magic! But only at the most awkward and desperate times or when the script calls for an easy out.

The shadows get sucked into the shell and all is well.

Henry continues to follow the Lost Boy like a ninja.

Who is in the cage? Please be the Sheriff! *closes eyes and prays*

Belle and Ariel arrive just as the skinny dude with the glasses raises the axe over Pandora's Box. Belle ignores their English accents and activates a mine cart. It knocks the villains off their penny loafers. The spies whimper on the dirt floor, they've reached their limit. They confess their sister has been Peter Pan's prisoner for a thousand years. They wanted to use the box to save her.

*Waves to John and Michael*

Peter Pan approaches the bamboo cage. He leans in and lets Wendy Darling out of her prison.

Weird. I hate this.

Ariel puts Pandora's Box in her waterproof bag and swims back to Neverland.

Henry continues to follow the Lost Boy and instead of a prisoner he finds Wendy Darling convalescing in a tree house. She explains her illness is connected to the island. The magic is dying and so is she. Henry promises to help her. But it's a set up, of course.

Ariel finds Mr. Gold and Regina waiting for her on Neverland's beach. She hands over Pandora's Box. Impressed with her speedy assistance, Regina enchants the bracelet so that she can have legs whenever she wants.

Emma can't take the guys bickering over her. She tells them the only one she loves is Henry.

Mary Margaret and David arrive at Tinkerbell's house with the good news about their plan to capture Peter Pan's shadow. She thinks they're bluffing until Emma shows up with her lover boys and a coconut shell full of shadows.

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Henry confronts Peter Pan about Wendy. Peter Pan presses again that Henry is the only one who can save the island because he is the truest believer. Henry says he is ready to help. Peter Pan smiles and shows him where he has to restore the magic, Skull Island—the darkest place in Neverland.

Which is like the Dark Hollows, but worse...I guess.

How many more ways can this show rip off Harry Potter?



Monday, 28 October 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 5, "Good Form"

Or better title "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Stupid Older Brother"


entertainmentoutlook.com


Henry is bullied by some of the Lost Boys. He picks up a stick and tries to defend himself. Pan watches from the sidelines, then he convinces Henry to believe he's holding a real sword. Henry closes his eyes and magics a weapon from the stick. He fights back and has a small moment of remorse after he cuts the bully on the face.

Hey, I guess Henry is magic too. Swell how that works out at the most convenient times.

Emma and the gang continue to search Neal's cave hideaway. She voices concern that Henry has started to lose faith that anyone will rescue him.

Come on. He's supposed to be the truest believer.

Mary Margaret clasps her hands and announces she has an idea! Regina follows her out of the cave while Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE) tries to flirt with Emma. He tells her he knows what it's like to lose a loved one. She bats her incredible long eyelashes and says she's not in the mood for his flirting.

David tells Hook not to bother trying to pick up his daughter since he's nothing but a pirate. And everyone knows pirates steal and pillage.

Hold on, Neal stole and pillaged. Yeah. CSE has no chance.


entertainmentoutlook,com

We flashback into the past where CSE is a lieutenant with the King's army. His older brother happens to be the Captain. His brother gives him a sexton (a big brass compass thingy) and tells him they are about to embark on a heroes journey on a special request of the King himself.

Mary Margaret's swell idea is to set a trap by braiding vines. David takes CSE into the jungle where they discuss dating Emma, and David's imminent death. They wrestle and David passes out.

I did prefer him when he was in his coma in the first season.

CSE splashes rum in David's face. The dream shade has almost reached his heart. David only has hours to live not days.

Yikes!

CSE becomes nostalgic when David finds a military badge with “Jones” written on it. CSE tells the story of how he and his brother sailed to Neverland in search of treasure for their King. His brother fought Pan on top of Dead Man's Peak and died. His sexy eyes grow wide with hope as he relates how his brother's sexton may have survived all these years as well. David vows to spend his last hours searching for the sexton that can decode Neal's star map.

Yup. Sounds like an iron clad plan to me.

Lieutenant Sexy Eyes (LSE) and his brother have a battle at sea. A magical sail made from the feathers of Pegasus is unfurled and the ship is soon flying away.

Huh? Magic is so convenient!
 

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David and CSE interrupt the vine macramé lesson and tell the others they're going to look for the sexton. David gives everyone a really long good-bye because he's dying. But they're all confused because they don't know he's dying.

Emma and Mary Margaret move into phase two of their plan which involves a pig and a Lost Boy with a spear.

*cough* Lord of the Flies *cough*

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They trap the kid who bullied Henry earlier. Regina conjures up a chocolate bar, but he's not willing to be their spy. Emma is shocked when he tells her Henry is the one responsible for the cut on his cheek.

Captain Jones and his sexy brother land on a beach. They are on a mission looking for a healing plant that can heal any wound. It's dream shade.

Oops.

Peter Pan arrives and lets the brothers know that dream shade is toxic, but they are unwilling to believe their King sent them to find a merciless weapon that could wipe out whole colonies. Still, Peter Pan points them to a path, giving them one last warning.

CSE slowly climbs up the mountain as David gasps, lagging behind. Peter Pan shows up and offers CSE a way off the island with one guest in return for a certain favor. He says he can take Emma and they can start a brand new happy family. He also requests that he murder David before the dream shade kills him.

Captain Jones and LSE find the dream shade. They argue since LSE worries Peter Pan is telling the truth. Captain Jones has great faith in his King and impales his own arm with one of the thorns. He falters and his last words are, “I'm sorry, brother.”

Yeah, sorry you're such a dummy.

Against Mary Margaret's pleas, Emma agrees to let Regina enchant the bullies heart, and thereby have complete control over him. Regina also gives him her compact mirror so they can see Henry.

When they reach the top of Dead Man's Peak, David turns his sword on CSE, and says he knows about his deal with Peter Pan. He demands to know where the sexton is hidden. CSE confesses he had the sexton all along and hid it on the path for David to find. He only lied to get David to the top so he could save his life. David doesn't believe him. They wrestle...again, and David passes out...again.

LSE holds his dying brother and Peter Pan arrives on the scene. He parts the vines and reveals a magical waterfall with healing properties. Peter Pan says all magic comes at a price. LSE says he'll do anything to save his brother. He pushes past him and takes the water. Soon Captain Jones is sitting up and smiling.

The bully arrives at camp with a message for Henry. He tells him his family is on the island, looking for him. He passes him the mirror so that Henry can see Emma, Mary Margaret, and Regina. Peter Pan comes around the corner and Henry throws the mirror into the bushes, cracking it.

Captain Jones and his brother sail away on their flying ship. They are determined to confront their King; using unholy weapons is dishonorable warfare.

Right. But using a magical sail is totally cool.

They land back in the water, and suddenly (as if by magic) Captain Jones falls to the floor choking, the death shadow creeping up his throat.

CSE makes his way to the magical waterfall, which is amazing since it's so frickin' dark in EVERY scene. Please, can the sun come up? CSE prepares to give David the water to save his life, but he says he will never be able to leave Neverland. David doesn't hesitate. All he wants is to save his family and be the hero.

Gag.

Emma feels better now that Henry knows they're on the island. David and CSE arrive, but tell everyone the bad news that the sexton was picked up by Peter Pan. David then gives a toast to CSE since he saved his life and everything.

Wait. So did CSE really have the sexton all along? And if he did have it, why didn't he use it in the cave earlier?

Dear ABC,

Oh...never mind. 


                                                                         entertainmentoutlook.com

CSE dares Emma to kiss him as a reward for saving her father. She rolls her eyes, then finally grabs him by the leather collar and lays one on him. It's a long kiss with a lot of intense slurps and gasps.

What?

Anyway, she tells him that was a one time only thing, then she orders him to collect some firewood.

She didn't push the Sheriff away. I bet she was wishing she was kissing him instead.

*cough* outrageously obvious mention of Sheriff Graham *cough*

LSE's and the crew have a burial at sea for his brother. Filled with rage at the crooked King, LSE vows to never return to the land of liars. He torches the magic sail and pumps up the crew with talk of being their own masters on the sea without mercy. He renames the ship the Jolly Roger and takes over the ship as its new Captain ready to be a pirate.

Peter Pan finds CSE enjoying his flask of rum. He brings up Hook's big, fat...secret. Baelfire! Peter Pan says that Emma's love and Henry's father is alive and on Neverland—as his prisoner of course. “I'll let you decide to tell Emma the truth,” Peter Pan says grinning as he walks backward into the jungle.

The Lost Boys carry a drugged up Neal in his bamboo cage. Peter Pan tells them to hoist him up next to the other one.

Other one?

Neal's cage is lifted and dangles beside an exact copy.

*closes eyes tight and prays* "Please by the Sheriff. Please be the Sheriff..."

Who do you think is in the other cage?

Monday, 21 October 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 4, "Nasty Habits"

Or better title, "Everyone Gets Knocked Out"

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Neil is kidnapped by one of Lost Boys. There's a lot of tough talk about how awesome Peter Pan is and how no one can beat him. Neil encourages the Lost Boys' monologue while he wiggles out of his ropes. Before you can say, "We can fly!" he knocks the dude unconscious and takes off into the jungle. 

Rumpelstiltskin (all fancy in his sparkle make-up and perm) arrives home and gives Baelfire the latest token from a terror stricken peasant. But poor Baelfire is tired of being The Dark One's son and wants the freedom to play with other kids. Rumpelstiltskin refuses, saying there are too many enemies who would try and hurt him.

Really? I'd bet the opposite. I would think no one would mess with him.

Mr. Gold paints his face with black lines (more make-up?) for his upcoming battle with Peter Pan. A vision of Belle arrives for a hologram therapy session. She reminds him that Henry will be his undoing. Mr. Gold tells her since Neil is dead, he has nothing to live for, and that the only way he can redeem himself is to trade his life by saving Henry.

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Emma maps out Henry's rescue mission. But Tinkerbell soon finds out there is no clear plan to get off Neverland. She refuses to help until they can prove they can help her escape the island—an island she reminds us, that is full of dangerous shadow bane... or something.

On cue, Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE) shares a glance with a dying David, the latest victim of shadow bane... or something. CSE then tries to save the day and reminds them Neil somehow escaped Neverland as Baelfire.

Mr. Gold wanders the jungle and comes across two Lost Boys. He magics them unconscious and takes their spears dipped in shadow bane. Someone crashes through the bushes—it's Neil! Mr. Gold is convinced Neil is another vision, just like Belle. He attacks him with the spear, but Neil calls him Papa and the soft music begins to play in the background letting us know everything will be okay.

Rumpelstiltskin returns home from another pillaging field trip, but Baelfire is missing. He uses magic to follow his trail to a nearby village. He is shocked to find most of the boys in the town are missing. Someone is luring them out of their beds at night. It's the Piped Piper.

Neil and Mr. Gold connect the dots in a bitter sweet reunion, okay it was more like a bitter and bitterest reunion. Mr. Gold confirms the only way to beat Peter Pan is to be wiling to die. But Neil has another way. He takes his dad to the lagoon and blows a conch shell; a sound that giant squids find irresistible. They manage to wrestle a giant squid from the shore. Apparently the ink will render any magical being useless.

What? No sleeping spell or knocking it unconscious? 

Emma and the gang follow CSE to what used to be Baelfire's hideaway while he lived on Neverland. They enter the cave and see drawings on the wall. They search for a clue that will help them get off of the island.

Rumpelstiltskin tracks the Piped Piper the next night and watches from the shadows as the enchanted runaways dance around a fire. He unmasks the flute player and discovers it's Peter Pan. He of course recognizes Rumpelstiltskin from when he was a Lost Boy. Peter Pan tells him that the flute can only be heard by boys who feels unloved and lost—that's why they come to him.

Back at Peter Pan's camp on Neverland, Henry is refusing to dance with the other dudes around the fire. Peter Pan plays the flute knowing no one can resist his impersonation of Zamfir. But guess what! Henry can't hear the flute.

Peter Pan is slightly flummoxed, but he gets downright flabbergasted when he discovers Neil has escaped and that two of his guards were knocked unconscious with a sleeping spell. Peter Pan figures out Neil and Rumpelstiltskin have found each other. Now he's ready to rumble. The first thing he does is knock Henry unconscious.

Sweet Mother of God! Is there any other option on this island?

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Emma finds a broken coconut shell with holes in it. She puts in a candle and the ceiling of the cave lights up with stars. CSE tells them it's a map back home.

See? No one was rendered unconscious and the plot still moved forward.

Mr. Gold and Neil arrive to confront Peter Pan. Neil shoots an arrow, but Pan grabs it. Neil is smug when he admits to putting the squid's ink on the handle.

Smart.

While Peter Pan's magic is rendered useless, Neil grabs Henry and flips him over his shoulder, fireman style. Peter Pan uses this moment to tell Neil about the prophecy; you know, the one about Henry being the undoing of Mr. Gold.

Neil's all like..., huh? what?  He demands answers from dear old dad. Mr. Gold confirms the seers prophecy.

Remember that episode? She had no eyes. *shivers*

Neil is upset that his dad had originally planned to kill Henry. Mr. Gold tries to explain that was before he knew Henry was his grandson, but Neil is still grossed out.

I can see his point. 


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Rumpelstiltskin is shocked to see Baelfire frolicking with the other boys around the fire. He magics him back to their home, saying Peter Pan cannot be trusted. Baelfire is incensed that his dad forced him away from the maniac kidnapper instead of nicely asking him to leave.

Teenagers. *rolls eyes*

Mr. Gold tells Neil he is willing to trade his life's for Henry's. Neil hugs him, but then brings up the old story of how he chose magic over him.

God! Not that again.

Mr. Gold looks at his hand and sees a black smear. The squid ink renders Mr. Gold powerless.

How much of that ink does Niel have left anyway?

CSE dampens everyone's hopes when he lets them know that the star map is written in a code that only Baelfire would know. Emma reminds the group that Neil is dead, and she runs out of the cave weeping for the only guy she's ever loved.

At times like this, I really miss Schmexy.


Neil carries Henry though the jungle. He smiles when he comes across Emma's old camp site. Peter Pan arrives with his brood of kidnappers. “No one gets off this island without my permission,” he says.  Neil realizes Peter Pan let him go the first time, and that no one can outwit this immortal adolescent. Peter Pan smugly disappears with a STILL unconscious Henry.

He's going to have to read this blog to catch up on all the stuff he missed.

Mr. Gold regains his magic. A vision of Belle tries to comfort him, saying that he's a changed man ...a good man. And now that his son is alive, he has something to live for. Darn that prophecy! Mr. Gold has to struggle with his nasty habit of self preservation.

Seriously? That's the reason for the title?

Henry finally wakes up, back at the party of dancing boys. He thinks he just fell asleep, has no idea he's been dragged back and forth across the jungle. He says he dreamt about his dad. Peter Pan reminds him that his father is dead and his mother abandoned him.

His host skills could use a little finesse.

But Peter Pan suggests Henry can now make new dreams, and create a new family. He pulls out his flute and of course, Henry can hear the tune now. He starts to dance and get down with his bad self and all the other Lost Boys.

Where the heck is Simon to tell everyone that the beast is really just a dead pilot? Oh, sorry, wrong island.



Monday, 14 October 2013

Once Upon A Time Season 3, Episode 3, "Quite A Common Fairy"

Or better title "It Sucks to be Mulan"



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Emma and the gang follow her magical orphan map, but Peter Pan's camp keeps moving, making them roam around in circles.

Back at Rumpelstiltskin castle, Neil searches the magic cupboard to find something to make a portal so he can get to Neverland. Robin Hood puts a wet blanket on the situation by saying it's a crazy pants idea. Mulan rolls her eyes at the guys, wishing she was fighting a dragon somewhere. The Merry Men come into the room. Robin's son, Rolland, rushes into his father's arms. Neil lights up with an idea.

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Robin Hood, much better looking than the last guy.

Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE) mentions Tinkerbell can help them find the camp, plus she has pixie dust, which everyone knows is way more powerful than regular fairy dust. David is encouraged by this because his wound from the previous night's sword fight is getting worse. CSE tells him it's poisoned and he'll probably be dead soon. Regina warns them Tinkerbell is no ordinary fairy.

A newly wed, Queen Regina quarrels with Rumpelstiltskin—she's sick of her dark magic lessons and hates her life with the King and his insipid daughter, little Snow White. She's still bitter about the stable boy being killed by her mother, which she totally blames on Snow White.

*cough* plot hole *cough*

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She's desperate to escape her life, and ends up half jumping/half falling off her balcony. But before she hits the stones below, Tinkerbell flies out from nowhere and saves her. The next logical step is for the two of them to bond over a couple of pints in an outdoor tavern. Tinkerbell feels sorry for Regina and her loveless marriage. She offers up the power of pixie dust to help her fall in love again.

While CSE leads the others to Tinkerbell's lair, Regina tries to convince Emma that they can combine their magic to defeat Peter Pan. Emma doesn't take her up on it because all magic comes at a price.

Why didn't they try that the very first night. Or when they were fighting the Lost Boys. Or when... oh never mind.

Peter Pan shows Henry a poisoned bow and arrow and orders him to shoot an apple off the head of one of the Lost Boys. Henry is shaking in his boots. Instead, he aims at Peter Pan who manages to catch the arrow in mid-air because he's so badass and dark and powerful.


I can't help but notice that Henry has grown a lot over the summer. He's supposed to be ten but he's getting closer to like fourteen.

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Tinkerbell travels to the land of giant tulips. The Blue Fairy reprimands her for trying to help Regina, who everyone knows has been taking lessons with The Dark One. She refuses Tinkerbell any pixie dust and forbids her from helping Regina—but Tinkerbell steals some anyway.
 
Neil tries to convince Robin Hood that his son, Rolland can summon the Dark Shadow that steals little boys from their bedroom windows. That way Neil can grab on for a free ride to Neverland. Robin Hood will not budge until Neil reminds him Rumpelstiltskin once saved his wife's life, and he relents.
 
That's the magic of the logic of Once Upon A Time.

Regina stays behind, not wanting to see Tinkerbell. The others go on without her, but this proves not to be a great idea, when Tinkerbell comes out from behind a huge paper mache rock and blows unconscious dust in her face.

Tinkerbell visits Queen Regina and they take a ride with the stolen pixie dust.

Yee-haw!

The dust makes a trail to a village where apparently Regina's happiness is waiting for her. They peek through the tavern window and zero in on the luminescent dude with a lion tattoo on his forearm. That's the guy who will make her happy. That's the guy she is destined to be with. Regina opens the door...then runs away.

Oh man! The commercial for the Toy Story Halloween special looks AWESOME.

Sorry, I digress.

CSE and the others find Tinkerbell's tree house is empty. They channel Scooby Doo and quickly figure out Tinkerbell has been tracking them and has probably captured Regina.

Regina realizes Tinkerbell doesn't have magic and is therefore not a threat. But Tinkerbell grabs a deadly thorn from the deadly thorn bush that's maybe called shadow baneI'm not sure and I was too lazy to rewind. Anyway, Regina doesn't even flinch. She rips out her own heart and thrusts it in Tinkerbell's hand, calling her bluff.

Say what you will, but that move took balls.


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Queen Regina lies to Tinkerbell and says the man with the lion tattoo was not her true love, in fact he was horrible. But Tinkerbell sees through her act. Regina then confesses she was in love before, but doesn't want to be hurt again. Tinkerbell is upset because she stole for Regina!

What the heck will she do now?!

The Blue Fairy catches up to Tinkerbell and gets all Mother Superior in her face for betraying her trust; she no longer believes in her. Tinkerbell loses her wings and falls to the ground.

While Tinkerbell clutches her heart, Regina said she left without seeing her true love because she was afraid to be happy. She thought without her anger she'd be weak. So she chose revenge over hope, and it made her heart black.

Tinkerbell gives Regina her heart back, but says it's took late to save Henry because he's been with Peter Pan for too long.

Peter Pan tells Henry that Neverland runs on magic. People have stopped believing around the world and considering he's the truest believer, it's his job to make the world believe again. He is the only one who can save Neverland. Henry isn't convinced.

Hmm...wouldn't that make him a non-believer?

While Rolland is situated to go up as bait Neil gives everyone a lesson about making sure you tell the one you love how you truly feel. Mulan nods knowingly because she's hot for Prince Phillip, Aurora's fella.

Rolland stands up against the bedroom window and says, “I believe.” The window bangs open, and the shadow flies in. Mulan does some sword work to make sure Rolland isn't dragged off. Neil grabs hold and he's off to Neverland.

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Seeing how fantastic she is with a sword, Robin Hood offers Mulan a place among his Merry Men, but she declines his offer and rushes off to see Phillip, ready to lay her heart at his feet. She arrives to see Aurora glowing with news that she and Phillip are preggers. Mulan is visible crushed. She tells Aurora she's joining Robin Hood after all.

Good to have a back up plan.

The others find Regina and Tinkerbell, they offer her a ride back to the Enchanted forest if she helps them find Peter Pan's camp. She breaks it to them she has no pixie dust, but she can still convince Peter Pan to let her into his hideaway.

David tries to put on a brave face while he imagines the clock ticking down. No fairy dust, no cure.

Too bad no one believes in her because that's where all her magic comes from. I bet that's not going to come up again.

Neil gets dropped by the Dark Shadow and is immediately met by one of the Lost Boys.

Tinkerbell asks Regina about the man with the lion tattoo and tells her it was selfish she didn't go in to meet him because she ended up ruining his life as well.

 Mulan enters the camp and shakes Robin Hood's hand accepting his offer, and what do you know....lion tattoo.

So this means Mulan will probably fall in love with this dude, only to lose him to Regina when they all eventually end up meeting in a vortex. Like I said, it sucks to be Mulan.

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 1 "Heart of the Truest Believer"

 Or better title, "Blood Magic; The Most Convenient Magic of all"


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The show starts with Emma giving birth to Henry while the security guard from the prison looks on. She refuses to hold the baby, and tearfully says she's not fit to be his Mother.

We flash forward to present day as Hook, aka Captain Sexy Eyes (CSE), steers the gang toward Neverland.

Henry lands on a darkened beach with Naomi and Greg. They break it to Henry that they're not in the Enchanted Forest, but in Neverland “The Mother-load of Magic,” according to Naomi.
 
CSE points out to Regina how ironic it is that he's wasted most his life trying to leave Neverland to find Rumpelstiltskin, and now he's got him on board. Emma is bitter towards Mary Margaret and David. She says choosing to be good has never worked out for them. She decides being hopeful sucks and that her parents are useless. Mr. Gold breaks up the meeting and determines he's the one that can save Henry. He calls Emma out, saying she's still a non-believer.

He says, 'Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild, and unfortunately yours doesn't.' Then he disappears!

Greg and Naomi make a camp fire, hoping to connect with their evil counterparts. Out of the woods, the Lost Boys arrive and drop the bomb shell that they tricked Greg and Naomi. Their only mission is to collect Henry. While a freaky shadow thing rips out Greg's soul and Naomi is skewered, Henry takes off into the jungle. He's rescued by a young kid with big ears.




Back on the ship, Emma does chin ups in anticipation of some kick ass action to come. CSE gives her Baelfire's old sword. They throw back a few shooters, drinking to Neil.

In the Enchanted Forest, Neil wakes up surrounded by Mulan, Aurora and Prince Phillip.

So... I guess they found Phillip.

Aurora excitedly tells Neil that she knows Henry since they spent some time in the sleepy room of flames together. She's convinced she can contact him again with a message that Neil is alive and that he loves Emma.

The pirate ship comes under attack.

What is it? A whale? A krachan?

Nope. Angry mermaids. There's a lot of canons fired, then Regina gets bored and tosses a couple fire balls into the water. Emma manages to catch one and they bring it aboard.

FYI, mermaids in Neverland wear a lot of eye make-up and bejeweled bikini tops.

Henry and the mysterious boy with big ears take a rest. He shows Henry a vial of pixie dust, but claims it's useless. Then they talk about how creepy Pan is...you know about the stealing boys out of their beds issue.

Dear ABC,

J.M. Barrie is rolling in his grave.

Neil and Mulan converse about his bizarre childhood and upbringing. Aurora wakes from her sleep and determines she cannot make contact.

I'm shocked that she's useless...just like every other episode.

Neil puts on a sad face. Then he remembers his dad was so magical, he must have left something behind in his castle. Maybe that could help them?

Off to Rumpelstiltskin's castle!

Speaking of...Mr. Gold finds Naomi pulling herself along the ground with an arrow sticking out of her back. I know he's still Mr. Gold and NOT Rumpelstiltskin because his hair is straight and there's not a speck of gold glitter. He magically heals Naomi and asks her about Henry. She tells him Henry took off into the woods. She apologizes profusely and asks for his forgiveness. Instead, he rips out her heart and crushes it like a bag of potato chips.



Mulan and Neil travel to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. He confesses his fear of not having Emma love him back prevented him from telling her he loved her.

What? *scratches head*

The mermaid blows her conch shell and creates a storm. The others argue how to interrogate her; Mary Margaret wants to strike a deal, while Regina wants to kill her. Instead, Regina turns the mermaid into a statue. Suddenly a huge wave engulfs the entire ship.

Dummy. Everyone knows you never, NEVER turn a mermaid into stone.

In Rumpelstiltskin's castle Neil and Mulan search for some kind of magical solution to their problem.

Wait, that's every episode.

Robin Hood shows up and threatens them with his arrows, claiming that the castle is now his.

Does anyone see that this Robin Hood is completely different looking than the Robin Hood from last season?

Neil says he doesn't want the castle, only that one magical thing. Robin Hood tells Neil that Rumpelstiltskin actually spared his life.

Remember that episode?

Soon magical music starts...Neil finds his father's walking stick and a mysterious cabinet is revealed. Neil recognizes the blood magic.

Oh, okay. Blood magic. That's convenient.

Regina and Mary Margaret manage to have a fist fight on the ship. CSE and David decide to join them. Meanwhile, Emma tries to steer them through the storm. Since no one is listening to her, she dives overboard.

That, Emma. It's always about her desperate need for attention.

Henry and the kid with big ears are cornered by the Lost Boys. Henry grabs the vial of pixie dust and gives a lovely speech about how you have to believe in order for it to truly work. He takes the kid's hand and they jump off the cliff...and what do you know, they can fly. They can fly. They can fllllyyyy.

David ties a rope around his waist. He jumps in the angry waters after Emma and brings her to the surface. With the others helping, she's brought on board. She spits up some water and suddenly the storm stops.

Oh my gosh. It's like they had to work together to stop the storm...just like magic.

Mr. Gold finds the head Lost Boy, and says he's in Neverland for Henry. The Lost Boy gloats, promising a battle that will end Mr. Gold's life. Then he slaps down a present from Pan, a crude doll made from corn husks. Mr. Gold starts to cry.

Neil searches the hidden cabinet. He finds a snow globe and concentrates on how much he loves Emma. There is a vision and Neil sees that Emma is in Neverland.


She and the others have made it to the dark beach—except the mermaid, I don't know what happened to her. Emma reminds them all that this island is build on belief, and now is the time for them to all believe...not in magic (even blood magic), but to believe in each other.

I think Sesame Street called that cooperation.

Henry and the kid make it to safe ground. Then the boy reveals that he's Peter Pan. He's been on a mission to find the heart of the truest believer. And now Henry and his heart belong to Pan.


And now it's time for a musical request. This one goes out to Henry from Storybroke, the truest believer and youngest member of the most dysfunctional family.


 
 
 
 
 
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